Daily Mood Quotes - November 1, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 181 – November 1, 2011

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

~Andy Warhol (1928-1987)

How many of us knew that this quote was actually The Philosophy of Andy Warhol? Several years ago in my undergrad program I took a music and art class, my final class project was the life of Andy Warhol. Born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he grew up to be a noted American artist (his work is amazing) and a filmmaker. Many credit him with leading the Pop Art movement in the 1960's. In reading his story, he once said, “I'd prefer to remain a mystery. I never give my background and, anyway I make it all up different every time I'm asked.” I guess it's safe to say, Mr. Warhol did it his way.

You know as I sit here typing this morning, I wonder if maybe that's the key, "doing it his way" or maybe just a different way. We all have a chance to change things, for the better, or worse; for richer, or poorer; in sickness, or health (I know these are the marriage vows, but think about them in the context of daily life). Three years ago, my husband was diagnosed with a life-long, crippling autoimmune illness and was facing the rest of his life sitting in a wheelchair. From doctor to doctor, medication to medication and one frustrating day after another we pushed forward and we found a way to overcome the pain. Just this past summer, with doctor's approval he began walking (this was a full two years into the diagnoses). He could barely walk 300 feet before the pain was too much to handle. His words “It's like standing in a blast furnace with your face, feet and hands in molten metal.” Through strength of mind, force of will, and good doctor care, my husband can now walk three miles a day with minimal pain and his quality of life has increased, while his time in the wheelchair has disappeared. It sits in the corner of our bedroom as a constant reminder and motivator.

The point is, sometimes when the odds are stacked against us, we need to change, or invent a new way of looking at our lives, Mr. Warhol did, often.  It seems much of the problem revolved not around the immune system attacking his nerves, but also how much he used his hands and feet. Common sense says to use them less to decrease the pain, but the reality was that the more he walked and used his hands the better he felt, to a point. There simply is no real way to get around the pain, just reduce it. His career was working against him; he had spent the last 25 years sitting at a computer in a occupation that made that behavior a requisite. Not any more... He still cannot sit in any way, at any angle for more than an hour at a time without blazing pain. Counter-intuitive yes, but true none-the-less. Hey, maybe we should place a computer on a wall...just a thought, it makes us laugh every time we say it.

In the movie Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda (played by Frank Oz) said, “No~ No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.” and in Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones, Yoda said to Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), “Much to learn you still have...my old padawan.”...”This is just the beginning!” You see it doesn't matter where you are in your life, Harrison Ford said, “we all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” What you do with that second chance is a choice. My husband chooses not to quit and I stand along side him and we walk three miles a day, together.

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

~King Whitney, Jr.

How will you view change today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 74 – July 16, 2011

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

~Albert Camus

Or at least what they perceive normal to be. Everybody has their own definition of what normal “is” or “should be.” That should be our first clue. The bottom line is “normal” is a fantasy. It is a manufactured convention that we delude ourselves into thinking that it's “what we should be”... But, no two lives are the same, no two families the same, no two paths to the future the same. Normal for each of us isn't what “we should be” it's what we are. Right now, as we read this page. The trick is how do you leverage your “normal” for you, not against you. That's where you need to think “F” it! Let me explain...

A few years ago, I took a “marriage and family class for my undergrad. During class discussions we evolved a perspective that revolved around a few key principles for living a successful life. These are the “Fs” of life which distilled a lot of information into some tangible, bite sized nuggets. At the time it was a lot to chew on, but now, it makes sense.

You see nearly three years ago, my husband ended up in the hospital because of high blood pressure, really high blood pressure that kept him in the hospital for a week. During this week, trying to maintain his “normal”, he continued to work on a major campaign for a client from his hospital bed, and in between tests (yes, I was upset with him). After all the tests were completed they could not find anything wrong, or even why his blood pressure was so high. Aside from the blood pressure he was completely fine and fit. We could only assume that the high blood pressure was simply because it runs in his family. He is not overweight, doesn't have a poor diet and he does get some exercise. Not as much as I would like for him, but I will take what I can get. We left the hospital and believed we were back on our “normal path” of life. One of my husband's favorite phrases is “Better living through chemistry.” We were off to the mall, or a lake for fishing, even an occasional hiking trip. Unfortunately, what we wanted wasn't necessarily what we got. Six months later, on his checkup, my husband discussed with his doctor, a burning in his feet. This simple phrase lead to more tests, more doctors appointments, neurologists, rheumatologists, cardiologists, and two biopsies.

Ten's of thousands of dollars later, we find out that my husband is one very healthy individual. However, he was diagnosed with a life-long condition called small fiber neuropathy. In a nut shell, the nerves in his feet, legs, hands and occasionally his face are telling his brain, that he is on fire. Only no fire exists. It is extremely painful when a flair up occurs. He has good days and not so good days. The hot summer sun and heat, which many look forward to for summer fun, generates a lot of pain for him. The burning sensation goes from uncomfortable to extreme. It is safe to say, his hanging out at the beach days are over.

So what do you do, when you can't do, what you used to do? First, you get pissed, because it is frustrating. We quickly realized there is no law against getting angry or upset and so we did. We got it out, got it over with and said, “Yes, F-n' way, is our new approach to living life.” This F is flexibility. Our normal has changed, and we are tasked with finding the new normal that includes new habits and new opportunities. It's funny how much you can get done in the quite of the night. There is a saying by Tim Hansel, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.”

In the movie Regarding Henry, Henry (played by Harrison Ford) a successful lawyer, suffers a gun shot wound to the head and survives. Bradley (Bill Nunn) says to Henry, “You're gonna be just fine, OK?” Unfortunately, what was once normal for him had changed and he had to find the new normal in his life, despite the expectation that he would be exactly who he was before the shooting. He wasn't. I have said to my husband, “We are going to be just fine, BUT, we'll find a new normal.”

What does your “normal” look like today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote and find out about the first “F”

Thank you for reading