Daily Mood Quotes - December 10, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 218 - December 10, 2011

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

Today, I was out an about doing the holiday thing. I saw some unhappy people, maybe stressed about the holidays, I don't know. Then I heard a mom say to a friend when describing her child, "he's happy today, because he's doing what he wants." Really, that's what makes a person happy? Hmmm I don't believe that's quite right either. A friend once said to me, "happiness doesn't come from what you do, it comes from within. If your not happy with yourself, then you have no chance of ever being happy." I took that to mean: Other people, stuff and activities alone can't make you happy, you have to be happy with yourself first. You can and should however enjoy the other things. But, let's face it if you aren't happy to start with there is a good chance that external things aren't going to make it happen. How many people do you see doing things that are supposed to be "fun" that look like they are utterly miserable? Far, far too many. There is a big difference between entertainment and happiness.  The former is ephemeral and situational, the latter lasting, irrespective of the situation.

In the movie Legally Blonde, Elle (played by Reese Witherspoon) said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." I would think a happy person wouldn't shoot their husband, but hey, it's just a movie... good thing too. We can do many things to help us become happy, but the very first thing is to accept oneself as you are; The Good the Bad and the Ugly (thanks Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef). Rejoice in the good, effort to reverse the bad and find the hidden beauty in the ugly.

I believe that happiness is something we have to work on daily. It isn't handed to us on a silver platter, but a fundamental decision that we make everyday. Like Shirlee Kenyon (played by Dolly Parton) said in the movie Straight Talk, "Why even the Declaration of Independence only guaranties life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say anything about fair. Doesn't even say you have the right to be happy. Just to pursue it" Happiness is an action verb, not a noun; it's a work in progress, not a destination. Practice it and it will eventually become a positive life habit and that's a good thing.

 How will you "practice happiness" today?

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Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote - September 27, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 147 – September 27, 2011

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

~Author Unknown

A few weeks ago, I posted a comment on Facebook to my nephew about avoiding the negative stereotypes of being a parent. People had made mention “that his life was now over” because he was preparing to become a parent. They are expecting their first. I was excited for them. Unfortunately, my niece (my nephew's sister) became enraged by my positive and well meant input. She made some very mean and nasty comments against me on Facebook, a public forum format. Completely uncalled for, it really showed me a side of her that was quite surprising, disappointing and even a bit disturbing. It reminded me an awful lot of my mother, when she was on her rants. She obviously has an ax to grind and maybe some anger issues to deal with. I not really sure. To be fair and honest with you (thank you Clint Eastwood from In the Line of Fire), I don't really know my niece, in fact, I don't know many from my family. I was eighteen when I left home and joined the military. I didn't care to have much contact with them. I tried to live in the same town as my family a few times, once I couldn't leave fast enough, twice, couldn't run fast enough and finally, for my mother's funeral, a few days seemed like a lifetime.

Anyway, what my niece did was a form of cyber-bullying and if I would have engaged in her aggressive behavior, things would have spiraled out of control, into a situation that would have been inappropriate and a waste of time. While I know my point of view and a bit about my niece's life, I can't say the same for her. After raising five children; I know that life is only beginning when you have a child. Okay, sometimes being a parent can be frustrating and children can wear you right down to a nubbin (thank you Berenstein Bears), but it can be also the greatest joy a person can know. After all that's why we are here, to continue our species. I have walked those miles, my niece apparently has yet to figure that out. So, as with many people there is no possibility of a peaceful resolution. And that's the real shame of it: folks with intractable positions, no real knowledge and dark attitudes. No one likes or wants to be around an angry person, especially if every statement, comment, or loving and supportive gesture is greeted with a hateful statement, or a verbal argument. My niece is young and hopefully time will mellow her out. I will never know, because I used the “unfriend” button on my Facebook page. Simple enough.

In the movie Meet the Parents, Greg Focker (played by Ben Stiller) said to the Flight Attendant (Kali Rocha), “ If you would take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings...” The point here is that it's oh-so-easy to lose objectivity when dealing with other's opinions and points of view. To often, we project our life's “issues” and unsupported opinions onto others, without first getting to know their side of the story. As a parent; I have found that there is always two sides to any story. Just ask two children standing in a room with a broken lamp. The key is to find the truth somewhere in the middle. Walk the mile, then make your observations. As with a real walk, a little distance usually offers a better perspective. As for me; I'm putting plenty of digital distance between myself and my family. That's just the way it is.

Who's shoes will you “walk in” before commenting today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading