Daily Mood Quotes - December 10, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 218 - December 10, 2011

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

Today, I was out an about doing the holiday thing. I saw some unhappy people, maybe stressed about the holidays, I don't know. Then I heard a mom say to a friend when describing her child, "he's happy today, because he's doing what he wants." Really, that's what makes a person happy? Hmmm I don't believe that's quite right either. A friend once said to me, "happiness doesn't come from what you do, it comes from within. If your not happy with yourself, then you have no chance of ever being happy." I took that to mean: Other people, stuff and activities alone can't make you happy, you have to be happy with yourself first. You can and should however enjoy the other things. But, let's face it if you aren't happy to start with there is a good chance that external things aren't going to make it happen. How many people do you see doing things that are supposed to be "fun" that look like they are utterly miserable? Far, far too many. There is a big difference between entertainment and happiness.  The former is ephemeral and situational, the latter lasting, irrespective of the situation.

In the movie Legally Blonde, Elle (played by Reese Witherspoon) said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." I would think a happy person wouldn't shoot their husband, but hey, it's just a movie... good thing too. We can do many things to help us become happy, but the very first thing is to accept oneself as you are; The Good the Bad and the Ugly (thanks Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef). Rejoice in the good, effort to reverse the bad and find the hidden beauty in the ugly.

I believe that happiness is something we have to work on daily. It isn't handed to us on a silver platter, but a fundamental decision that we make everyday. Like Shirlee Kenyon (played by Dolly Parton) said in the movie Straight Talk, "Why even the Declaration of Independence only guaranties life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say anything about fair. Doesn't even say you have the right to be happy. Just to pursue it" Happiness is an action verb, not a noun; it's a work in progress, not a destination. Practice it and it will eventually become a positive life habit and that's a good thing.

 How will you "practice happiness" today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 31, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 120 – August 31, 2011

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.

~Thomas Jefferson

Sorry this is so very late today. My husband was hogging the computer this morning, he was on a video conference. It was a good reason and we are a one computer family.

Okay, so the alarms goes off this morning and like normal we are tuned into one of the local morning radio shows. Today's conversation was “the secrets we keep” from our spouse. Here's the story, a newlywed couple just came home from their honeymoon. She (the new wife) had some friends over to share pictures of the honeymoon, and he (the new husband) made himself scarce, or so was thought. He eavesdropped on the women's conversation. “Interesting stuff women talk about” he relayed to his morning show partner. Here's what I caught and found disturbing. There is a club and this club is called, “The husband's unaware club.” The reasoning was as follows: A friend of the new wife doesn't want her husband to know how much money she spends. Her husband keeps the household books. So, when she shops, she pays for the items she wants (not necessities) half in cash and half by check, or by credit card. He never sees the receipts, just the credit card balances and/or the bank statements. It looks like she is thrifty, getting good deals, and has an eye for the bargains, when in fact she is spending twice as much. Maybe to some this is a brilliant idea, but to me, its dishonest and if you are willing to be dishonest to your spouse about this, what other lies are being told?

Lying about money, to me is next to the worst. The worst of course would be cheating...Tad Williams said, “We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” I have to ask; Is that why this “husband unaware club” exists, because of fear? What is she really afraid of? Is it acknowledging her selfish behavior, or her husband's response? Start a marriage on a lie, and chances are it will end up in divorce, because the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. By then, how many thousands of dollars will she have spent without his knowledge? The longer the lie goes on, the bigger the chance of an unpleasant fall out. Suspicions will arise and then what? It begs another question. What else isn't she telling him? Another man perhaps, another identity, or a hidden stash of cash “just in case?” Once trust is lost... well we said it yesterday “they close your account_FOREVER” (thank you Family Man). Forgiveness may be forthcoming, but almost certainly, he will never trust her again.

In the movie Deceptions, Jonathan McQuarry (played by Ewan McGregor) said it best in this short, sweet and to the point question, “Why should I trust you... everything you told me was a lie?” Although the context may be different, that's exactly how the husband is going to feel, deceived. In a conversation with my husband he says, “Moreover, if a woman is going to do that, that gives the husband a “hall pass,” a license to lie to her." Things can get really convoluted quickly. One of my favorite movies is Straight Talk with Dolly Parton and in this movie she says, (I'm paraphrasing here) “Sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on...” I don't know about others, but as for me; I'd rather tell the truth, than try to remember the lies. The truth is far easier to remember.

Will you be “truthful” or keep someone “unaware” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 12, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 101 – August 12, 2011

“Trust is like a vase..once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.”

~Unknown Author

A recent event caused me to pause and wonder, do people know the damage they create when they choose to lie to someone? Several weeks ago, I saw a brief snip-it on television about lying, it was a topic on The Early Show and the point being made was (I'm paraphrasing here) “everybody lies, it has become the norm in business, in relationships and in day-to-day living.” Really? That's the norm?

In 1992, there was a movie Straight Talk with Dolly Parton who played Shirlee Kenyon, a talk radio show host, who gave life advice to callers. It's been a long time since I've seen this movie, but there is one phrase I do remember; she said to a caller, “sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on.” I guess what I'm saying here is, if you tell one lie, usually you have to tell another to cover up the original lie and so on and so on... Where do the lies stop? My mother had a very strict policy about lying (at least lying to her). It was simple, “Never lie or I'll beat the crap out of you.” Well, being the strong willed child I was, it was a theory I tested and let's just say, theory verified. Now, I understand there are the fabricated stories about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and they have their time and place. Those tall tales are generally meant to provide a vehicle for a larger moral. But, when an adult chooses deliberately to deceive another, that is a “whole 'nuther kettle o' corn” as they say around here.

Here's what happened: During a conversation with a friend we've known for nine years; a question was asked and the truth was deliberately omitted, (same thing as a lie) passing the buck to the next guy. It was deliberately omitted to avoid an uncomfortable and Inconvenient Truth. A week later, the truth came out (it always does) and I was heartbroken. It wasn't because our friend lied, but because we had respected and trusted him. We had known him for nine years...who does that? As Friedrich Neitzsche said, “I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

Lying is like acid, It slowly corrodes the spirit of the liars and those being lied too. Even a little white lie can begin to pit the surface of any relationship. Perhaps in time with wear and enough polish it can be made to look new again, but it takes so much more effort than just telling the truth up front. Big lies (like the one we encountered from our friend) are a much stronger acid, they not only burn through the surface of the relationship, leaving a blemish that can never be removed; they often cut deeply into the core and create irreparable damage. Even if it was meant to avoid confrontation, the damage is still done. Trust is never regained.

In the movie Liar Liar, Fletcher's (played by Jim Carrey) son Max (Justin Cooper) made a birthday wish, “ I wish, for just one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.” Here's my wish, “I wish for one day, people would think before they choose to lie.” Make no mistake lying is a choice and there is no getting around that “truth”. I will eventually forgive my friend for lying to my husband and I, but the friendship is now permanently damaged and trust is forever lost. What a high price to pay.

Will you think before you speak or avoid the truth today?

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Thank you for reading