Daily Mood Quotes - December 8, 2011

 Daily Mood Quote

Day 216 - December 8, 2011

Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

~ Thomas Jefferson

I believe that somehow the concept of why this particular holiday season exists has been completely lost in the tidal wave of consumerism and mass marketing that has enveloped our nation. Everywhere I have been over the last three days I have seen and noted more miserable faces and impatient people than I could have ever imagined. They are on the roads and sidewalks, in the stores and even at holiday events. I have to ask, where did patience and good cheer go? I understand that we all have busy lives and there are expectations of us to be here, or there, to do this, or that and many have very foolishly embraced the concept of “I'll rest when I'm dead” as a mantra for modern living, but “in the course of human events (Yes, I borrowed that from the Declaration of Independence),” we have unwittingly transformed a season of thanks into a season of anger and angst. The problem is that it isn't just the normal family holiday infighting, or other small squabbles, that is causing this angst; that's just life. Its the guy in the Escalade SUV behind you, waving his fist furiously and tailgating all the way into the store's parking lot, then running by you into the store, or the shopper with carts full of gifts (you know they are gifts, because no 40 year old needs a Pillow Pet), who while cursing, plows over an older lady who might be moving a bit slower than light speed. I have personally witnessed both in the past two days.

Granted, I have been a bit distracted myself with my father's frail condition and the weight of the holidays bearing down, but gee whiz, I'm convinced things have gotten completely off track in regards to the Christmas season. I see lots of holiday “action,” with little or no holiday spirit out there. It misses the point completely. Its sad and more than a bit disconcerting. Its like giving somebody an ultra lousy birthday party, by doing everything completely opposite of their wishes. Do you think this is what Jesus of Nazareth had in mind when he said “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you (NIV)”? Doesn’t make sense does it? Yet, invariably from the end of November to the end of December it seems as if otherwise decent people embrace the foulest and lowest of behaviors; all to get the deal, get the gift and shove in line ahead of the other guy...for Christmas!!! It really baffles me. 

There have been people giving Christmas gifts for two thousand years and in some way shape or form, they will be presumably doing so for the rest of human history. Who do they think they are getting “ahead of” and how does that relate to the meaning of the holiday? I really don't think the three wise men raced each other to get “there” first, but what do I know. All I know is that it seems like a really crappy way to celebrate anything, let alone a birthday. And for the record, I do not hold the “organized churches” to blame here. There is something else that drives this schizophrenic social behavior and it/they may be found cowering around the feet of Charles Dickens' “Christmas Present” apparition (the story is as relevant today as it was when written). They are the twin specters of "want" and "ignorance" and they have been silently, yet virulently with us all these long centuries, since before any organized religion, before the Nazarene walked on earth and before Dickens' story. I believe, they are artifacts of our early evolution that have hung around like viral DNA and have found ways to undermine and ruin humanity's best attempts at civilization. We need an antidote for our own baser psychologies. “Want:” is anything we don’t have and believe will somehow make things “better,” or equal to someone, or something else. “What a crock! (thanks Three Men and a Baby).” “Ignorance:” she soothes the mind and tells us “it's okay, what you don't know can't hurt you.” But in fact ignorance is a congenital liar who cannot tell a truth. They are both vestigial functions that creeped into our brain structure, when we as a species, began to pull ourselves out of the mud. It is one thing to be motivated, we need that, but the stop switch isn't working yet. And, we can't process everything all the time, there is just too much, but a door to tightly shut keeps both light and sustenance out.

So, with that said, I can't say I have an answer. But, I suspect that author James Allen may have had at least a clue when he combed through history and said. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” So, where is the tranquility gene?

How will you “be calm” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 1, 2011

Dialy Mood Quotes

Day 210 – December 1, 2011

The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful.

~Unknown Author

I agree the truth can be painful, but worth revealing. In fact it can be liberating. Thomas Jefferson said, “For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead...” Meaning good or bad, the truth is ultimately preferable to any amount of deception, or fabrication. And, no matter how you try to hide it, the truth always, eventually comes to light, like a planted seed that has been buried. Eventually, when the conditions are right it will sprout into the light, for all the world to see. Thirty-one years ago, I was told the man I called “dad” for sixteen years, was not my father (this information came to light in an explosive argument between my mom and myself). They say that anger does not lie, but I wasn't given the “whole truth” either. So, for more than 30 years, I have been searching for the whole truth. Yesterday, I found it. Given that this information is really new to me and somewhat raw, I am not ready to talk about what I found and now know to be the truth. For the first time in 30 years, the puzzle pieces I have been trying to put together finally fit. I can tell you, it is not what I expected and could be the most difficult and saddest story I will ever tell. But, I will tell that story when the time is right, and I have had time to fully absorb and accept its meaning. So, instead I want to touch on the importance of being truthful and what happens to a person when they are denied important truths about their lives. One thing is for sure, keeping “family secrets” can really undermine a family, especially when some family members don't know what the secret is, or why people are acting so “squirrely” when certain subjects are brought up.

The truth comes in many packages, some large, some small, some spontaneous, and some in the form of confessions. The latter can be the toughest ones to digest. After someone has been carrying around the weight of an untold truth for a certain amount of time (it varies per person), they become use to the weight, although they may never become comfortable with it. It slowly wears on them, it reduces their ability to function. If you look closely, you can see this weight of untold truth written on their faces and in their manner. Eventually, by its weight, it will pull a person down and ultimately stop them from experiencing a full and happy life's journey. Not necessarily from everything in life, but certainly from things that they might have done, if they did not choose to carry the weight of hidden truth. The sad part is, people become attached to this weight and even when they have the opportunity to shed it, be free of it and forgive themselves for it, they seldom do. Instead they hang onto it, resent it, blame other people for it and slowly erode relationships, that could have been much better with a little honesty and no buried truth. It colors their lives and creates misery where none should have ever existed.

What I am speaking about here is not that you should be telling everything about yourself to everybody, all the time. As my daughter would say, “that's just TMI (too much information)” and too much of anything, even the truth can be an overwhelming thing. Not everybody can deal with it, nor should they have too. Also, there is a vast difference between “telling the truth” and sharing a secret told in confidence. I believe people need to be responsible and trustworthy when such things are shared, as long as its legal. I put a high value on being trustworthy and so I must admit there are limits to “telling the truth.” I believe we should in general, acknowledge what is true and factual to eliminate confusion, hurt feelings and conspiracy theories.

Much like the doctor in the Micheal Jackson death case, who gave him ready access to a very powerful and dangerous anesthetic and then tried to wave off responsibility. To him and those like him I say for crying out loud, “be a man,” “Yeah like Fuller” (Thank you Sandra Bullock when referring to FBI agent Fuller who was played by Regina King in the movie Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous). I had to get that out; as I have lately seen so many nary-do-wells publicly deny what is clearly the truth about themselves. It's really frustrating. Dude, the truth is going to come out anyway...don't you watch CSI? My very real fear is; this idiot “doctor” will publish a book telling the world, he killed Micheal Jackson, and be paid millions for it. Of course, that will be after he already has been convicted of a lesser charge and isn't subject to being tried twice for the same crime, due to “double jeopardy” laws. Let face it, he will have to pay his legal fees somehow (don't get me started on lawyers, at least not today). That's just a sad commentary and somewhat incomprehensible truth about our society.

As I see it, an inconvenient (read family) truth is somewhat like a rose. Yes, it has thorns and they may be painful, but the beauty of sharing it in the spirit of love far outweighs the risk of getting pricked. Cut the truth off from light, lock it away somewhere “safe” and its beauty soon fades. And, however long it remains in darkness, so too do its thorns. It could be painful irregardless and it will, when finally revealed, be faded and lack the beauty and elegance of honesty freshly delivered.

My bigger point is, it is far easier and far healthier to be honest and truthful with those in your life. Yes, the truth can be painful; as I found out yesterday. It's not the truth about my life that bothers me (maybe a little), it's the loss of all the time I invested seeking the truth, 30 years. If only I would have been told the whole truth when I was sixteen. The first thing I did when I found out this untold “family secret” was to inform my children. No more questions, shadows, half truths and innuendos. Sadly, those family secrets and the lies not only affected my life, but the lives of my family (husband and children) and friends. But, now the truth is finally out and there are no more family secrets. It ends with me. Family secrets have the very real potential to undermine and destroy family connections, friendships and relationships. They are de facto lies that have the potential to devastate lives. Like Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS (played by Mark Harmon) always says. “Man up Marine!” In the long run, you'll be glad you did.

What will you be truthful about today.

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 21, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 201 – November 21, 2011

Americans never quit

~Douglas MacArthur

Unless your a politician, then quitting, at least to go on “break” is easy, because it doesn't affect them. Okay, (deep breath) as I stated earlier I don't often like to wax political. In fact I really try not to enter this area, as I really have a distaste for the whole thing. But, what is happening is just completely ridiculous. Here's what I mean; Today I heard on the news that the “Congressional Super Committee” is quitting and going home for the holidays. They claim it is too hard to reach a compromise. Are you freakin' kidding me? Must be nice to have the luxury of bailing (quitting) on the most important task you have ever been given and still having a job to come back to after a paid, extended, holiday vacation. In my personal opinion they can just stay home; they don't need to come back, because they can't or won't (which is more probable) do their job. Just exactly, why can't we fire these guys?

It's funny, most Republicans rail against organized labor, yet when you really look at it, they seem to be the members of the most corrupt labor union ever invented, the United States Congress. They can get away with doing nothing forever and still have jobs. What's up with that? Most of us would get fired on the spot for far less egregious failures, And lets not fool ourselves, that's exactly what they are. How else can you explain having a job for 12, 16. 24 or more years and accomplishing nothing that you were hired to do? How do these people keep their jobs?

Democrats are not blameless either, they have taken their being hired (elected) as a license to clean out America’s bank account and spend without thought of consequence. Truthfully, the way the Democrats acted when they got the house majority was nothing short of hijacking the system, a coup de tat, to follow a political agenda that was out of step with mainstream America. Annnnd, since that is all we have, that's all we get; two parties, black or white, up or down, “my way or the highway.” The real world just doesn't work like that, so why does our government? The American public also gets held accountable here; we hired these yo-yos (but that's another story). They go back and forth, and accomplish nothing...yo-yos. Yet, at the end of the day, they get to collect their government paychecks, go home to a Thanksgiving dinner and leave the rest of the nation, those who were counting on them, out in the cold. In some cases literally... It just upsets me at how these people, congressman/woman seem to have no conscience, they talk a good game, but in the end they really don't care.

With that said, here's something to think about. I am in favor of “term limits for the House of Representatives.” We have one for the President, so the precedent has been set. The founders meant our government to be citizen centric and citizen run. I cannot fathom that they would have imagined people would make entire careers in one political office. I promise you, Thomas Jefferson would have thought longer and harder about the wording of our Constitution, if he would have even an inkling that some congressional offices would have taken on the demeanor and color of a miniature monarchy. The framers of our Constitution vehemently abhorred such a concept. Yet, here we stand 240 years later with exactly that going on. I said our Constitution for a reason. It is our Constitution we, not the political pontiffs own it. Just like a house, when its yours, you are responsible for its continuing maintenance and upkeep. We as a nation have left its care in greedy and self-serving hands. This partisan bickering is a direct reflection of our congress's focus on the next election cycle, and not the needs of the nation, or its people. If they can't pitch it, they won't do it; whether it's right or not. If they can't point a finger at someone and say, “they're bad” (as per Newt Gingrich) they clam up and ride their name recognition into office, again and again and again; focusing on nothing but getting elected again. It's just ludicrous, that we have allowed ourselves to get into this situation. I do believe most of it is because we have only two viable parties, there is no tie breaker. Nobody to build coalitions with and find the common sense, middle ground. That's a part of the “great experiment” we to this point have allowed to go so wrong.

Let's be serious here, our political system is in many ways spinning out of control and we are the pilots. So when the next election is upon us, please think before you vote. Ask yourself, how long has this person been in office? Are they effective anymore? If not and they're just riding on the coat tails of our seemingly unaware society, FIRE THEM IMMEDIATELY. Better to, as Monty Brewster (played by Richard Pryor) said in Brewster's Millions, “Vote none of the above.” than to let the “mini-monarchs” to continue. The way it is now is freakin' feudal, but not futile. I'm not naïve here and know there are other factions that benefit from this foolishness and lots of money to be made by a few who can “put their boy/girl in place.” It's up to the citizenry to make the decision to vote responsibly. Please remember I'm not saying these things to get anyone upset, or to point fingers, there is enough of that going on. I'm just telling it the way it is, as I see it. I love our nation and our democracy. It's just time for some “fall cleaning” to clear the cobwebs out. Too many ancient fingers in the pie and they're taking it away from the very people who hired them. Told you I was upset!

How will you view “representative government” today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 197 – November 17, 2011

Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our values are and how great the mission they represent.

~Jan Peter Balkenende

Yesterday's blog prompted a question. I was pointedly asked, “Where do you come off making these assertions about doing the right thing? Surely, you have not lead a perfect life!” Nothing can be more true, You Bettcha! (thanks Minnesota),” My husband and I have made plenty of mistakes, who hasn’t? But, we have learned some pretty important things from our painful experience. The first is; how important it is to be be honest, candid and forthright and most importantly; always trust that feeling that clearly delineates the difference between what is right and what is wrong (our moral compass). So rather than pointing out other people's mistakes, we thought it was in all fairness, important to reveal a few of our own, to illustrate the point. “Let the chips fall where they may.” Owning up to a mistake seems to be something of a lost art in our time. People seem to go to extraordinary lengths to try to cover up failures of judgment and of ethics, which is in itself a failure of judgment and ethics. Funny how that works out.

Sooo, here we go! Where do we begin, I guess the beginning is always a good place to start. My husband is 52 years old and has 25 years in the advertising industry, about half his life and almost all of his adult life. When he started out in the 1980's he worked for one the largest public relations firms on the planet. We'll let you guess which one. They were an enormous, global organization and very successful. He was a creative (art director) and quite honestly extremely naïve, despite his education. Long story short, the agency took on a massive client, who made their living selling cigarettes. He was assigned to the account. This was something he had a major moral issue with; not a little one, a very big one. My husband had watched smoking and its effects kill members of his own family and friends; lung disease, heart disease and one unfortunate house fire. Yet, he rationalized, after all this was business, wasn't it? But in short order, a matter of months, he couldn't take it anymore. What they were doing, and saying was a complete sham, and he asked to be removed from the account. He states, “I couldn't have killed my career faster with a bullet.” Things spiraled rapidly down hill after that. Ultimately, it lead to him leaving the company by “recommendation” and then the town, because he was blackballed and his reputation was subjected to an unrelenting assault from the same people he had worked with just days earlier. The point is, my husband firmly believes that if he would have refused to work on to the account in the first place, held his head up and moved on, things would most certainly have turned out far better. At least his name would not have been smeared throughout the local ad community. He may have not been liked, because his talent was a threat, but he would have been most certainly respected and he would have maintained his self-respect. That's more important by far. My husband says he will always regret the decision of working on that account in the first place, because he knew it was wrong. He doesn't dwell on it, but he has learned from the experience. You would think...

A few years later in a new town in a different time, we started up our own agency. My husband said point blank to me, “I want to do this right! No cutting corners and I want to incorporate.” Well that didn't last very long. We went to an accountant to have him help us set up our business accounts and the very first thing he said to us was , “You don't want to incorporate, because not incorporating will provide you with “tax advantages.” You would think little red lights would have flashed inside our heads and sirens should have gone off. But no.... Despite our misgivings, we listened to the “expert.” Strike two. We were definitely down in the count, because that decision, easily qualifies as the second biggest mistake we ever made. How were we to know our little company and our family would grow so quickly. To sum it all up, in the long-run, whatever short-term “tax advantage” our “expert” thought we would gain has been supplanted by a long-term tax burden, that will take an undetermined amount of time to resolve and make good on. You would have thought we would have learned our lesson and stuck to our “do it right” position. But, the combined effects of inexperience and misplaced trust, means the story only gets deeper from here.

We switched accounting firms, to one recommended by the Chamber of Commerce, thinking that was a better call and we once again, trusted “expert advice” with our financial fate, as we were both working 17-18 hour days, while raising a family. Do you want to guess what happened? Our trusted accountant, not only didn't pay our taxes as he was supposed to do with the checks we sent through him, he also filed taxes improperly, then cleaned all the money out of our business and personal accounts and skipped town. The disaster that rolled out after that, is a novel in itself. Suffice to say, we were in a financial vise grip that was closing quickly. Still, that was only the tip of the iceberg that was to sink our little enterprise. So, we took on a catalog client; a large client who's business practices were at the very least questionable. The client extended credit to credit challenged customers, at a ridiculously high rate. They preyed on people who wanted “stuff” but lacked the sufficient funds to buy it outright. The projects were big and the money was good; at least we thought. So we worked hard, extended ourselves financially by hiring photographers, freelancers, separators and printers, based on projected income from the project(s). Even though we didn't feel particularly right about, it was a good money decision (Please refer to yesterday's post about money and decisions). This is the severe experience, like Abraham Lincoln spoke about in 1860 in his letter to George Latham, “I know not how to aid you, save in the assurance of one of mature age, and much severe experience, that you cannot fail if you resolutely determine that you will not.” Unfortunately, this says nothing about the client failing and its domino effect.

First, they wanted to cut the contracted invoice by more than 25 percent (kiss any profits goodbye), then they didn't pay the bill and drum roll please, they filed for bankruptcy. Leaving us, I would say, “high and dry” but we were “low and arid.” We had obligations to meet, and our attorney (don't even get me started on attorneys) said, “we may only see a half a cent on the dollar.” It was time to walk away.

Once again my husband said, “It would have been better had we never engaged a client against our better moral judgment and just toughed it out.” Money had made a very bad decision and the lesson here is, this was a blown moral judgment call and it has cost our family everything at that time, including bankruptcy (we think it is important to note, we are not the only people to ever file bankruptcy. We are in some pretty good company, to name a few, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln,, Donald Trump, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Charles Goodyear...to name a few. For a more extensive list go to: http://www.bankruptcylawnetwork.com/famous-people-who-filed-for-bankruptcy/). Everything that is, except for love. That endures. What made the situation worse was that...(more to follow tomorrow).

Nobody leads perfect lives. If they say they do, most assuredly they are lying... it simply cannot happen here. However, our lives can help us to understand what is truly important and what endures beyond our failures. If you have to choose; better to fail in business and grow in love and moral character, than to deny our better moral judgement and grasp at the fleeting golden calf of profit. My husband has always maintained “Contrary to the popular adage; adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it.” “And that's the ugly truth” as stated by Mike Chadway, (played buy Gerard Butler) to Abby Richter (Katherine Heigel) in The Ugly Truth. The truth may not always be pretty, but it is truly a thing of beauty in the long-run.

Will you heed your “moral compass” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - November 3, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 183 – November 3, 2011

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”

~Spencer Johnson

Integrity is defined as, adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character, honest. And, honesty is defined as, the quality of fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness, freedom from deceit or fraud. (thank you Dictionary.com). So, if we know what they mean, then why do we have so much difficulty in understanding them.?

Over the past several months, I have used the mute button on my remote control to silence the political ads on television, and when they come on the radio, I turn it off. I don't know about you, but as a voter, I am sick and tired of the negative, pointing fingers, he said, she said, they said...I say, “knock it off, I've heard enough.” Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Tea Party, really as the song by Billy Joel goes, “we didn't start the fire, it was always burning, since the world's been turning, we didn't start the fire, no we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it.” Now we're just sick of being burned by people who can apparently do nothing but point fingers, find fault and distract us from the truth that none of them are really worthy of our votes. Personally, I wish they would put their fingers in a light socket, it may shock back to common sense. You never know...

So, in all the political crap, where is the truth? Hidden by political advisers and PR firms, who would sell their bosses out for a nickel and a shot at an interview on 60 Minutes. And also, where pray tell is the most remote relevance to what they should be focusing on? The needs of the people should be on all the agenda's of those running for office. Somehow, somewhere the “vote for me, because the other person is worse” has become acceptable practice. To quote an old friend from Long Island, “What, Are you kidding me!! It's like dealing with a group of elementary school children on a kindergarten playground, trying to be the most popular student. Getting attention and gaining popularity through tattle-tailing? Obviously, we missed those lessons about growing up and taking responsibility for our actions. It just makes me sick to see our political system, once the highest expression of human aspiration, dragged into the gutters by these losers. “We the people” let this happen and “we the people” will need to make a few adjustments to what we pay attention to. That is if we can pry ourselves away form reality shows, video games and online auctions long enough to see what we have let happen.

Here's where the honesty and integrity part comes in, let's be honest with ourselves; we as a nation only pay attention to the bad crap and not to the important issues, unless we're the ones who are suffering. “Painful, the truth is.” (Thanks Yoda). Personally, I'd say “Vote for none of the Above!” just as Monty Brewster, (played by Richard Pryor) said in Brewster's Millions, but that would let the “biggest loser” win without a fight. And so even though we disapprove, we let it slide and those of us who aren't buried in their Wii tennis, wobble to the poles and punch the button for the name they recognize most. Ouch, I've even done that once - a very long time ago and I apologize to all of America for that. Its insanity and we perpetuate and enable it by our apathy. Thomas Jefferson said, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” So lets wise up and be honest about that fact that we let ourselves get into this situation by our own collective hand. We have to get ourselves out by participating a little in our own governmental process (remember grade school civics class?). In the movie The American President, Lewis Rothschild (played by Michael J. Fox) said “...And in this country it is not only permissible to question our leaders, it's our responsibility!” By the way that's the last thing they really want. As Michael Douglas who played President Andrew Shepard in the same movie noted, “And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, (insert candidate here) is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections.” Sadly, that theatrical bit of monologue is painfully true. Just watch what happens over the next 12 months. We are in for an interesting year...more thoughts on honesty, truth and integrity tomorrow.

How will you be honest today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 31, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 120 – August 31, 2011

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.

~Thomas Jefferson

Sorry this is so very late today. My husband was hogging the computer this morning, he was on a video conference. It was a good reason and we are a one computer family.

Okay, so the alarms goes off this morning and like normal we are tuned into one of the local morning radio shows. Today's conversation was “the secrets we keep” from our spouse. Here's the story, a newlywed couple just came home from their honeymoon. She (the new wife) had some friends over to share pictures of the honeymoon, and he (the new husband) made himself scarce, or so was thought. He eavesdropped on the women's conversation. “Interesting stuff women talk about” he relayed to his morning show partner. Here's what I caught and found disturbing. There is a club and this club is called, “The husband's unaware club.” The reasoning was as follows: A friend of the new wife doesn't want her husband to know how much money she spends. Her husband keeps the household books. So, when she shops, she pays for the items she wants (not necessities) half in cash and half by check, or by credit card. He never sees the receipts, just the credit card balances and/or the bank statements. It looks like she is thrifty, getting good deals, and has an eye for the bargains, when in fact she is spending twice as much. Maybe to some this is a brilliant idea, but to me, its dishonest and if you are willing to be dishonest to your spouse about this, what other lies are being told?

Lying about money, to me is next to the worst. The worst of course would be cheating...Tad Williams said, “We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” I have to ask; Is that why this “husband unaware club” exists, because of fear? What is she really afraid of? Is it acknowledging her selfish behavior, or her husband's response? Start a marriage on a lie, and chances are it will end up in divorce, because the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. By then, how many thousands of dollars will she have spent without his knowledge? The longer the lie goes on, the bigger the chance of an unpleasant fall out. Suspicions will arise and then what? It begs another question. What else isn't she telling him? Another man perhaps, another identity, or a hidden stash of cash “just in case?” Once trust is lost... well we said it yesterday “they close your account_FOREVER” (thank you Family Man). Forgiveness may be forthcoming, but almost certainly, he will never trust her again.

In the movie Deceptions, Jonathan McQuarry (played by Ewan McGregor) said it best in this short, sweet and to the point question, “Why should I trust you... everything you told me was a lie?” Although the context may be different, that's exactly how the husband is going to feel, deceived. In a conversation with my husband he says, “Moreover, if a woman is going to do that, that gives the husband a “hall pass,” a license to lie to her." Things can get really convoluted quickly. One of my favorite movies is Straight Talk with Dolly Parton and in this movie she says, (I'm paraphrasing here) “Sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on...” I don't know about others, but as for me; I'd rather tell the truth, than try to remember the lies. The truth is far easier to remember.

Will you be “truthful” or keep someone “unaware” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - July 1, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 58 – July 1, 2011

Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.

~Thomas Jefferson

I can remember a number of times when I was a child, the words “you can't” and “your not smart enough for that” and of course that infamous phrase “no, you can never do that!” All in the context of what I wanted to do when I grew up. Remember, Day 8, May 12, I wanted to be a nun? Like many before me and many after me, I asked questions in order to find out who I was. When we are children we believe our parents know best, or at least know us best. Boy, was I wrong.

There is a song “Teach your children” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and in the song there is a phrase that goes, “and you of tender years can't know the fears that your elders grew by.” When is the last time fear made a good decision about who you are? Sometimes, inadvertently or without information, we tend to make decisions for and push identities onto the next generation. Occasionally, those attitudes can be based on bad experiences, our own failures and even our own successes. Let's face it, we only want the best for our children and ourselves. Unfortunately, we forget that mistakes have to happen in order to learn. It's the job of us “who are on the road” to “teach them well,” not tell them who they are or what they can't become. No two people are alike, even when they come from the same family. For me, it took many years to come out of my shell and be true to myself.

In the movie Daddy Day Care, Becca (played by Hailey Noelle Johnson) said to Charlie Hinton (played by Eddie Murphy) “We need more learning about things! Yes, We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!” We are always at a “critical age,” learning doesn't stop just because we graduate, or because we age. It is a continual journey. We learn whether we want to or not, so why not make the best of it? Learning who we are and what we can do is a life long adventure. I believe if we are open to that, we will never cease to surprise ourselves at our capacity to become a newer better version of ourselves... everyday. Take the action to learn, grow and define yourself anew everyday.

What "actions" will define you today?

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