Dialy Mood Quotes
Day 210 – December 1, 2011
The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful.
~Unknown Author
I agree the truth can be painful, but worth revealing. In fact it can be liberating. Thomas Jefferson said, “For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead...” Meaning good or bad, the truth is ultimately preferable to any amount of deception, or fabrication. And, no matter how you try to hide it, the truth always, eventually comes to light, like a planted seed that has been buried. Eventually, when the conditions are right it will sprout into the light, for all the world to see. Thirty-one years ago, I was told the man I called “dad” for sixteen years, was not my father (this information came to light in an explosive argument between my mom and myself). They say that anger does not lie, but I wasn't given the “whole truth” either. So, for more than 30 years, I have been searching for the whole truth. Yesterday, I found it. Given that this information is really new to me and somewhat raw, I am not ready to talk about what I found and now know to be the truth. For the first time in 30 years, the puzzle pieces I have been trying to put together finally fit. I can tell you, it is not what I expected and could be the most difficult and saddest story I will ever tell. But, I will tell that story when the time is right, and I have had time to fully absorb and accept its meaning. So, instead I want to touch on the importance of being truthful and what happens to a person when they are denied important truths about their lives. One thing is for sure, keeping “family secrets” can really undermine a family, especially when some family members don't know what the secret is, or why people are acting so “squirrely” when certain subjects are brought up.
The truth comes in many packages, some large, some small, some spontaneous, and some in the form of confessions. The latter can be the toughest ones to digest. After someone has been carrying around the weight of an untold truth for a certain amount of time (it varies per person), they become use to the weight, although they may never become comfortable with it. It slowly wears on them, it reduces their ability to function. If you look closely, you can see this weight of untold truth written on their faces and in their manner. Eventually, by its weight, it will pull a person down and ultimately stop them from experiencing a full and happy life's journey. Not necessarily from everything in life, but certainly from things that they might have done, if they did not choose to carry the weight of hidden truth. The sad part is, people become attached to this weight and even when they have the opportunity to shed it, be free of it and forgive themselves for it, they seldom do. Instead they hang onto it, resent it, blame other people for it and slowly erode relationships, that could have been much better with a little honesty and no buried truth. It colors their lives and creates misery where none should have ever existed.
What I am speaking about here is not that you should be telling everything about yourself to everybody, all the time. As my daughter would say, “that's just TMI (too much information)” and too much of anything, even the truth can be an overwhelming thing. Not everybody can deal with it, nor should they have too. Also, there is a vast difference between “telling the truth” and sharing a secret told in confidence. I believe people need to be responsible and trustworthy when such things are shared, as long as its legal. I put a high value on being trustworthy and so I must admit there are limits to “telling the truth.” I believe we should in general, acknowledge what is true and factual to eliminate confusion, hurt feelings and conspiracy theories.
Much like the doctor in the Micheal Jackson death case, who gave him ready access to a very powerful and dangerous anesthetic and then tried to wave off responsibility. To him and those like him I say for crying out loud, “be a man,” “Yeah like Fuller” (Thank you Sandra Bullock when referring to FBI agent Fuller who was played by Regina King in the movie Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous). I had to get that out; as I have lately seen so many nary-do-wells publicly deny what is clearly the truth about themselves. It's really frustrating. Dude, the truth is going to come out anyway...don't you watch CSI? My very real fear is; this idiot “doctor” will publish a book telling the world, he killed Micheal Jackson, and be paid millions for it. Of course, that will be after he already has been convicted of a lesser charge and isn't subject to being tried twice for the same crime, due to “double jeopardy” laws. Let face it, he will have to pay his legal fees somehow (don't get me started on lawyers, at least not today). That's just a sad commentary and somewhat incomprehensible truth about our society.
As I see it, an inconvenient (read family) truth is somewhat like a rose. Yes, it has thorns and they may be painful, but the beauty of sharing it in the spirit of love far outweighs the risk of getting pricked. Cut the truth off from light, lock it away somewhere “safe” and its beauty soon fades. And, however long it remains in darkness, so too do its thorns. It could be painful irregardless and it will, when finally revealed, be faded and lack the beauty and elegance of honesty freshly delivered.
My bigger point is, it is far easier and far healthier to be honest and truthful with those in your life. Yes, the truth can be painful; as I found out yesterday. It's not the truth about my life that bothers me (maybe a little), it's the loss of all the time I invested seeking the truth, 30 years. If only I would have been told the whole truth when I was sixteen. The first thing I did when I found out this untold “family secret” was to inform my children. No more questions, shadows, half truths and innuendos. Sadly, those family secrets and the lies not only affected my life, but the lives of my family (husband and children) and friends. But, now the truth is finally out and there are no more family secrets. It ends with me. Family secrets have the very real potential to undermine and destroy family connections, friendships and relationships. They are de facto lies that have the potential to devastate lives. Like Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS (played by Mark Harmon) always says. “Man up Marine!” In the long run, you'll be glad you did.
What will you be truthful about today.
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
