Daily Mood Quotes - December 1, 2011

Dialy Mood Quotes

Day 210 – December 1, 2011

The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful.

~Unknown Author

I agree the truth can be painful, but worth revealing. In fact it can be liberating. Thomas Jefferson said, “For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead...” Meaning good or bad, the truth is ultimately preferable to any amount of deception, or fabrication. And, no matter how you try to hide it, the truth always, eventually comes to light, like a planted seed that has been buried. Eventually, when the conditions are right it will sprout into the light, for all the world to see. Thirty-one years ago, I was told the man I called “dad” for sixteen years, was not my father (this information came to light in an explosive argument between my mom and myself). They say that anger does not lie, but I wasn't given the “whole truth” either. So, for more than 30 years, I have been searching for the whole truth. Yesterday, I found it. Given that this information is really new to me and somewhat raw, I am not ready to talk about what I found and now know to be the truth. For the first time in 30 years, the puzzle pieces I have been trying to put together finally fit. I can tell you, it is not what I expected and could be the most difficult and saddest story I will ever tell. But, I will tell that story when the time is right, and I have had time to fully absorb and accept its meaning. So, instead I want to touch on the importance of being truthful and what happens to a person when they are denied important truths about their lives. One thing is for sure, keeping “family secrets” can really undermine a family, especially when some family members don't know what the secret is, or why people are acting so “squirrely” when certain subjects are brought up.

The truth comes in many packages, some large, some small, some spontaneous, and some in the form of confessions. The latter can be the toughest ones to digest. After someone has been carrying around the weight of an untold truth for a certain amount of time (it varies per person), they become use to the weight, although they may never become comfortable with it. It slowly wears on them, it reduces their ability to function. If you look closely, you can see this weight of untold truth written on their faces and in their manner. Eventually, by its weight, it will pull a person down and ultimately stop them from experiencing a full and happy life's journey. Not necessarily from everything in life, but certainly from things that they might have done, if they did not choose to carry the weight of hidden truth. The sad part is, people become attached to this weight and even when they have the opportunity to shed it, be free of it and forgive themselves for it, they seldom do. Instead they hang onto it, resent it, blame other people for it and slowly erode relationships, that could have been much better with a little honesty and no buried truth. It colors their lives and creates misery where none should have ever existed.

What I am speaking about here is not that you should be telling everything about yourself to everybody, all the time. As my daughter would say, “that's just TMI (too much information)” and too much of anything, even the truth can be an overwhelming thing. Not everybody can deal with it, nor should they have too. Also, there is a vast difference between “telling the truth” and sharing a secret told in confidence. I believe people need to be responsible and trustworthy when such things are shared, as long as its legal. I put a high value on being trustworthy and so I must admit there are limits to “telling the truth.” I believe we should in general, acknowledge what is true and factual to eliminate confusion, hurt feelings and conspiracy theories.

Much like the doctor in the Micheal Jackson death case, who gave him ready access to a very powerful and dangerous anesthetic and then tried to wave off responsibility. To him and those like him I say for crying out loud, “be a man,” “Yeah like Fuller” (Thank you Sandra Bullock when referring to FBI agent Fuller who was played by Regina King in the movie Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous). I had to get that out; as I have lately seen so many nary-do-wells publicly deny what is clearly the truth about themselves. It's really frustrating. Dude, the truth is going to come out anyway...don't you watch CSI? My very real fear is; this idiot “doctor” will publish a book telling the world, he killed Micheal Jackson, and be paid millions for it. Of course, that will be after he already has been convicted of a lesser charge and isn't subject to being tried twice for the same crime, due to “double jeopardy” laws. Let face it, he will have to pay his legal fees somehow (don't get me started on lawyers, at least not today). That's just a sad commentary and somewhat incomprehensible truth about our society.

As I see it, an inconvenient (read family) truth is somewhat like a rose. Yes, it has thorns and they may be painful, but the beauty of sharing it in the spirit of love far outweighs the risk of getting pricked. Cut the truth off from light, lock it away somewhere “safe” and its beauty soon fades. And, however long it remains in darkness, so too do its thorns. It could be painful irregardless and it will, when finally revealed, be faded and lack the beauty and elegance of honesty freshly delivered.

My bigger point is, it is far easier and far healthier to be honest and truthful with those in your life. Yes, the truth can be painful; as I found out yesterday. It's not the truth about my life that bothers me (maybe a little), it's the loss of all the time I invested seeking the truth, 30 years. If only I would have been told the whole truth when I was sixteen. The first thing I did when I found out this untold “family secret” was to inform my children. No more questions, shadows, half truths and innuendos. Sadly, those family secrets and the lies not only affected my life, but the lives of my family (husband and children) and friends. But, now the truth is finally out and there are no more family secrets. It ends with me. Family secrets have the very real potential to undermine and destroy family connections, friendships and relationships. They are de facto lies that have the potential to devastate lives. Like Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS (played by Mark Harmon) always says. “Man up Marine!” In the long run, you'll be glad you did.

What will you be truthful about today.

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 29, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 208 – November 29, 2011

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.

~John Lennon

First, I did not post a blog yesterday. I had nothing to say and I did not want to disrespect the Daily Mood Quote readers by putting out a piece of fluff, with no meaning behind it. That's dishonest and I won't do that. My focus yesterday was on my youngest child. It was her birthday and those days are important to me. You see, when I was eighteen, I had a doctor's appointment, my annual physical, and I was planning to get married. After this physical, I was told they found an abnormality and I would not be able to have children. I was devastated, because more than anything I wanted children.

Well, it turns out that those doctors were wrong (a little lesson here: always get a second opinion of any dire diagnosis). So, I remember and put great emphasis on every one of my children's birthdays. Because, they simply may never have been. It is truly a miracle that I have been blessed with five children, five healthy, intelligent, beautiful children. Each pregnancy was a struggle and a few of my children were born very early, but each of them is a gift. And on their birthdays, that is what I remember and I am thankful for those gifts and for the love that I feel for each of them in my heart.

In my life's travel, I have met many people from a wide variety of different cultures. The one thing that I found to be most shocking is how “taken for granted” having children, healthy children of your own is. And, how often it is resented by otherwise intelligent people. I will admit that raising children can be a very time consuming, expensive and exhausting endeavor, but I have to ask the very simple question: Isn't that part of why we are here in the first place? Are we not integral pieces of a much larger mosaic? If we are not paying attention to that little fact, we are truly missing an important part of our own self-growth.

While I'm in the subject of “self”... In our culture we tend to focus so very heavily on personal growth, career, accomplishments, all things of the “self.” People spend billions, if not trillions of dollars on trying to make themselves better, younger, healthier, stronger, richer, whatever. Unfortunately, so much of this comes at the expense of the next generation, our children. It really baffles me that people are so singularly focused on their personal achievements and themselves. All too often, I here my peers and others try to justify it by saying, “Well, I'm leaving them with more money, or an aspirational example to follow,” or some other pale veneer over their own selfish interest. All the while, they spend zero time with their children and relegate the raising of their children (what I suspect is quite possibly the most important task we have on this planet), to somebody else.

More often than not, it's the television, video games, or even worse the Internet, which is filled to the brim with people who could not possibly care less about the long term physical, mental and emotional welfare of our children. Too many children have an open portal to all that is vile, evil and uncivilized in our world. If you don't believe me, just witness some of the violent video games and Internet sites that are out there, which promote, “murder, death, kill” (thanks Demolition Man with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock). Before I go much further, I have to say that I also see the good that this advance in communications (the Internet) can bring. And there is a positive use for some video games, especially on cold and rainy days. However, somebody will always eventually exploit any good innovation to debase and undermine children in search of profit, or just to expand upon their own evil intent. Sadly, that is where so many parents, who are focused on self, leave there children dangling, while they take Pilates, Zumba, or work 70 hour weeks.

Okay, back to the main point, love takes commitment, time and effort. You can't buy it, you can't manufacture it and store it for another time. It takes constant, patient, diligent, ongoing, effort. Its a gift that so often is seen as a burden and put on a shelf to wither and die, while we chase a better “self” image. The funny thing is that actively growing love is the fastest way to improve your self image and grow both as a person and in spiritual wellness (regardless of religious belief, love is a constant, just like in math. It's built into the human equation). John Lennon also said, “All you need is love” the rest of what is important just flows from it. It is the legacy that will carry on long after all the self fulfillment has faded away and “the stuff” we gained has collapsed into dust. Our children bear that legacy forward and it's up to us to decide, will we give them a living, growing thing, or a withered plant that never stood a chance?  

How will you grow love today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 30, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 179 – October 30, 2011

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... How did I get through all of that?”

~Unknown Author

One of the things I have found helpful to do when I feel that all hope may be lost, or I begin worrying about whether or not I can survive a situation; I talk to my neighbor. He is an elderly man who is well into his eighties, his experience and wisdom sometimes causes me to pause. Some of the things he has shared really aren't much different than what we deal with everyday. The problems are the same, just the way they are generated has changed. Solutions, well I believe the solutions differ from person to person, based on how you were raised, education, experiences, and whether or not you carry baggage, or hold a grudge.

There is always hope; it may seem as dim as a candle on a dark and stormy night (okay a little corny and cliché but true none the less), but yet somehow it is not extinguished. And, depending on what we are going through at any moment in time, our attitude determines whether or not we can see and/or seize the opportunities hope presents. Sometimes its just enough to help us hang on just that little bit longer. To take the little chance that brings within greater opportunity. And, sometimes hope's child is a bit more hope and a lighter heart. It just depends on who we are and what we are open to.

In the movie Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock (Birdee Pruitt) and Harry Connick, Jr. (Justin Matisse), Birdee Pruitt says, “Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will...” If you never let go of hope. 

Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." That's hope!!!

What “hope” will you welcome into your life today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 29, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 118 – August 29, 2011

People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.

~Vince Lombardi

I love American football, the NFL, in my opinion it is one of the greatest team sports, because it requires every one on the team to work together to achieve an end goal, hopefully a win. I watched my favorite team play a game yesterday (preseason) and was pleasantly surprised at how well they worked together, like a well oiled machine. It was something that seemed to be missing in the first two preseason games. Maybe this year, maybe this year...another Super Bowl run...we'll see.

Much like football, life requires people to work together, Vince Lombardi also said, “Football is like life it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” I wish I could say I have seen a lot of that. Even in work place teams, I have found difficulties between co-workers because of differing opinions, agenda, self-interests, beliefs and backgrounds. Often the project suffers because of the inability to put differences aside and work together to achieve a common end goal. Maybe this is why I enjoy football so much. It doesn't matter where you came from, how tall or short you are, color of your skin, or your family history; if you can run (fast), throw, catch, kick, and understand teamwork, you will have game time. Everyone on a team has different skills, those skills make-up the team. It takes variety and diversity to be successful, so to in life endeavors. One person can't win the game all by themselves, even though many may try.

I said it before and I'll say it again, “Life is a team sport,” people around you count. So surround yourself with quality people. Quality meaning, people you can trust, you can depend on, who can depend on you (it is a two way street). Much like a quarterback and a receiver, when you work together and apply your skills, success is inevitable, or in the case of football, plus six on the board. Yeah Team.

In the movie The Blind Side, a story about the life of Michael Oher, an outside tackle for the Baltimore Ravens, Leigh Anne Touhy (played by Sandra Bullock) said, “Now, y'all would guess that more often than not, the highest paid player on an NFL team is the quarterback. And you'd be right. But what you probably don't know is that more often than not, the second highest paid player is, thanks to Lawrence Taylor, a left tackle. Because, as every housewife knows, the first check you write is for the mortgage, but the second is for the insurance. The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side.” Teamwork, plain and simple, or you get crushed. The world is full of “LT's” with one thing on their mind...get the ball from you... and without teamwork, well your pretty much “duck-soup” as they say. The point is, “life is a team sport” and we all are the quarterbacks, the receivers, the tackles and occasionally the punters. Its up to us to play our positions in the spirit of cooperation: “win-win” beats “win” by 100%.

How will you apply teamwork principles today?

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Daily Mood Quote - June 4, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 31 – June 4, 2011

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

~Marcus Aurelius

What a difference a day makes, To awake listening to the birds singing outside, the soft summer sunlight filtering through the blinds and the gentle fragrance of the locust blossoms filling the air. Ahhh, the quiet of the morning... What a wonderful way to start a Saturday. Just kidding, does any day really start like this? Well for “a brief shining moment...and then that mouth” Victor Melling (played by Michael Caine) said this of Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) in the very funny Miss Congeniality. In our case, gentle little Hope began by singing her “Get up! Get up!... Hellooooo? Get up” song in her not so subtle feline vibrato and as loudly as possible. Who needs an alarm clock, we have the alarm cat!? It was time to get up I suppose. Then the dog chimed in, singing his “I've got to go outside to tinkle song”, with typical canine enthusiasm. What a musical start to the day. Just between you and me, I'd rather listen to the birds. But, on the bright side, better the cat and dog than the neighbor's lawn mower, or gas powered edger at the crack of dawn. Oh, that was last Saturday. 

 

Seriously, how rude have we become as to fill the air with that noise, so early in the day. “Hey buddy, you might be wearing headphones, but the rest of us aren't.” Anyway the sun is up. It probably heard the cat's chorus too. And the day has begun. Sooo... what precious privileges lie before us today?

Marcus Aurelius was right. It is a privilege to be alive, to rise each morning and have the chance to appreciate the subtle beauties in everyday life. You just have to carve your way through the noise and distractions to see them. Funny thing is, that very often, the noise and distraction makers are the very things we love the most. Huh, just thought of that? Even the noisy neighbor's lawn mowing, leaves the smell of fresh cut grass in the air. And what would a day be without Hope.. and Chester of course. So, bring on the noise that fills our everyday life, except this time don't listen to them as the noise makers of the world, think of them as the songs we love to listen to in life.

What “shining moment” will you find in your day today?

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Daily Mood Quote - May 13, 2011

Daily Mood Quote:

Day Nine- May 13, 2011

I looked for a quote today on “what is being normal” unfortunately, what I found was either negative, or very sad. So, I asked my husband his opinion on being normal, this was his response:

“In terms of human behavior, normal is a fantasy of statistics. We are all different, we are all unique and we are all special in the Creator's eyes.”

~My Husband

During a conversation with my daughter last evening, she shared with me, the diversity she deals with every day at school and wasn't sure what normal was. Silence came over me. I wondered how do you describe “normal” to a teenager? Much like the word leadership, the word normal has many different meanings and means different things to a wide range of people. Here is what I told her. Normal is “what you know.” You see, you know you have two parents, who live under the same roof, who love each other and work together. To you that's normal. You have a friend, whose parents are divorced, they live with one parent and travel to see the other one on weekends and to them that is normal. You and I talk to each other, we listen to each other, we respect each other, that's normal to you. You have friends who have contentious relationships with their moms, they know yelling, arguing, door slamming, and for them that's normal. Normal is what people know, and in every home, every person has their idea of normal.  That normal behavior is passed down from generation to generation, it's what is known to everyone  as "their normal". There is no right or wrong in normal, there is just different. Let's not confuse right and wrong of normal with the rights and wrongs of life. My daughter replied with “That makes sense, that answers a few questions.”

So, normal isn't, well exactly “normal”. As Stockard Channing who played Aunt Frances said to Sally (Sandra Bullock) in the movie Practical Magic . "My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."

For my family a new normal arises everyday.  Perhaps, we should worry less about normal and more about what is healthy and meaningful.

What is your definition of normal?

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