Daily Mood Quotes - January 3, 2012

Daily Mood Quote

Day 229 – January 3, 2012

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

~Mark Twain

Yesterday morning, I looked outside and realized we probably had enough snow on the ground to shovel. But, figuring it was a holiday Monday as New Year's Day was on a Sunday this year, my husband and I did not rush out into the suddenly frigid January air, to shovel driveways. We had a slower start to our day and wanted to begin this New Year by spending the first couple of days at home, just enjoying the time together with our children. The holiday season this year was a rough one, punctuated by extreme, frenetic busyness (visiting family out-of-town) because of a death, funeral and the Christmas holiday. So, we needed some quiet, peaceful time to collect our thoughts and gather our sense of equilibrium again. We decided that we were going to take that time, without regret or remorse... it's how you stay healthy, you know.

Anyway to continue with my snow covered story; I took my lunch dishes to the kitchen sink yesterday and happened to look outside and noticed that someone was shoveling our elderly neighbor's driveway. Normally (for the past two years), my husband and I were doing the shoveling after it snowed, but yesterday was different. Someone we could not recognize (heavy winter outdoor attire), was shoveling our neighbor's driveway. What a pleasant surprise to see someone else stepping up and stepping in to do a kindness, for an 89 year old man who ought not to be shoveling snow. A bit later my husband did get out to shovel our driveway and to his wonderment, our other elderly neighbor's driveway, the one on the other side of the house, was also done (we live in a bit of a “senior sandwich” with older neighbors on each side and us “youngsters” in between). In fact, most of the driveway's in the neighborhood had been cleared. This was awesome we thought; truly a fantastic way to start off the New Year. We were delighted and my husband whistled his way through our driveway in short order.

We have no idea who the mystery shoveler is, but we are thankful for their magnanimous display of neighborly kindness. In fact, I'll bet we were happier than the neighbors who had their driveway's shoveled. BRAVO...You are a true, kind and wonderful person.... whoever you are. Thank you.

Mother Theresa said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness. Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” That's the really cool thing about kindness, it radiates outward (and inward too) and positively affects people who are not even direct recipients of the kindness. We felt good all day about that, even though we shoveled our own driveway. Like Morgan Freeman, who played God in the movie Evan Almighty said to Evan Baxter (played by Steve Carell), “How do you change the world? One Act of Random Kindness” (at a time). Enough said.

What “kindness” will you display today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - January 1, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 227 – January 1, 2012

Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it.

~Harry Emerson Fosdick

It is better to live in peace than in bitterness and strife.

~Confucius

So many things to cover today. First, it's a new year, 2012. My family and I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year, may this year bring you peace, joy, good health, success and happiness.

Secondly, I would like to say thank you to everyone for the condolences and prayers for my father. My father passed away peacefully shortly before Christmas day. I will forever be grateful for the short amount of time I got to spend with him before he was called home. I am also relieved that my father did not suffer for a long period of time; that was grace from above.

I choose these quotes today, because after spending a week back home, I saw so much angst, anger and bitterness and heard too many stories about family disputes, which in my opinion, shouldn't matter. Nor should these disputes be given the weight many family members have ascribed to them. We only have one life to live and my husband says, “You have a choice; to be bitter, or to be better.” holding on to anger only creates a bitterness, which can become the controlling factor of one's life. And the biggest mistake people make is passing that anger and bitterness onto the next generation. They carry it forward, without any good reason, but a disposition of “my parents were angry about this and so I too should be angry.” Anger carried forward, is the great failing of mankind. Louis L'Amour said, “Anger is a killing thing, it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than had been before - it takes something from him.” And so we “take” from the next generation with every “anger” that we pass along. This leave us all a little worse off. Mohandas Gandhi is remembered for saying “ An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” I agree.

Let me explain with two stories. I have a sister with whom I was once close to as child. I saw her at Christmas and again at our father's funeral. She too was adopted by him, her biological father had passed away years earlier. Anyway, many years ago my mother told her a lie. She said, I made negative comments about the man she was marrying. Instead of coming to me and asking me if I made those comments, she chose to believe the lie and she stopped talking to me and disinvited me to her wedding. Years went by before I found out the reason why my sister didn't want me at her wedding and why she had stopped talking to me. In earlier blogs I shared the difficulties I had with my mother; this was just one of her ways of controlling the family, by division. She lied and because of her lies, again...my sister has had this anger, which has grown into a bitterness for more than 25 years. This to me is sad, that a parent would create such sibling discord, for no reason. The saddest part to this story is, now that our parents are gone, I have no real reason to go home again, or to even be a part of anyones life. All because of the lies that were told by mom, carried forward by family members and now told to the next generation. Sometimes, I wish we could be a more mature family and ask the questions to find out the truth; rather than to build on speculation, which can cause years of anger and bitterness and eventually turns into unfounded hatred.

The next story comes from my husband's side of the family. We have been estranged from his family for ten years and this trip back home was bittersweet. It was the first time my husband saw his father in ten years. My husband's mother had passed away in October. Unfortunately, his family is still as crazy as ever, except it would seem that they have turned it up a notch. My husband's bother-in-law coined the phrase for them “The Dysfunction” as in “why would you go back and engage “The Dysfunction?” He is 100% correct. They seem psychologically unable to grasp the concept that we are grown-ups and have our own lives and responsibilities. And that unbidden meddling in their siblings' lives is a bad thing. They leapt to the conclusion that we were moving, or had moved back and were in desperate need of their help and guidance, neither of which is even remotely true (you've had heard of the old saying, “with friends (family) like that, who needs enemies”). My husband was happy to see his father and he and his dad had the opportunity to resolve and close the book on many things. That was good. But, we were delighted to put as many miles between us and them as humanly possible, as soon as possible. We wonder if it is far enough? Probably not. Anyway, that's last year, and I'm sure this year we may have to endure more interference and wild assumptions from his family. As my husband says, “God bless them, I feel sorry for them; but I can't have anything to do with them.”

On are trip back to where we call home, my husband and I observed many similarities with few distinctions between the families. The parts seem almost interchangeable at this point, there is almost a sibling for sibling parallel in behavior, with the exception that I have one more sibling. We have the crazies (literally), the controlling, the manipulators and the bare-faced liars; most of which seem angry all the time. That said, it was an interesting Christmas and funeral. So, in respect to our families my husband and I agree with Charles (played by Hugh Grant) in the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, “Excuse me. I think I had better be where other people are not.”

By contrast and too our great relief, our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. (from my husband's side of the family) “from the other side of the street” or “town” provided a welcome breeze of sanity and some very good food. We are thankful for that. They have put aside the petty rivalries, disagreements and other family nonsense to move forward with their lives. They have chosen well. The choice is as my husband said to be bitter, or to be better. To quote my cousin-in-law, "your life would make a great Lifetime movie, you should write it." Maybe, we'll see. 

Let us all hope for and resolve toward “better” in the new year.

What will you choose this year, "bitter" or "better?"

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 14, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 222 – December 14, 2011

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.

~Helen Keller

Every year my children ask me, “Mom, what do you want for Christmas?” Every year my answer is the same, 26 years the same...” healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband” is my answer. So, this year my children prefaced their question with, “Mom, besides healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband, what would you like for Christmas this year?” Wow, I didn't see that one coming, they are catching on to me. It's not as easy to dodge their quick, minds. Okay, “my smart children” I said, with a chuckle, “let me think about it and I'll get back to you.” I did get back to them a few days later, and to their surprise, it was an unexpected answer. At least I thought so. I didn't want jewelry, I'm not a show piece. I didn't want clothes, that's an ongoing battle, me and my weight. I don't want a gift card, because as my husband say's, “you'll just spend it on the kids anyway.” Between you and me I think they secretly count of that. The jig was up when I got a gift card to Old Navy, giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle...

Anyway, I have a pair of slippers that I bought myself on clearance last year at Kohl's. They are light blue, such soft quilted material, size 6 (I have freakishly small feet for an adult woman) and the most comfortable pair of slippers I have ever worn in my life. They are my constant companion. I wear them to get the mail, to drive (my husband drives, I tag along) the kids to school, to sit out back while watching the dogs and every minute of every day around the house. “If I was walking', I was walking'” in my comfy slippers. Here we are a year later, I still have my slippers and they are still comfortable; as comfortable as one can have wearing tattered rags and shards of plastic on your feet. Okay, they're a little worse for wear an tear, torn-up and there really isn't much left where the rubber meets the road. My family refers to them as “mom's ventilated slippers.” Holes fore and aft (thanks U.S. Navy for the nautical lingo lessons). If they were boats, they would have sank a long time ago.

I must admit it's mostly my fault that I walk around in perforated papuče (Slovak), as I can't give them up, even when I know they are long beyond serviceable. It drives my family just about crazy, because when I find something comfortable to wear, I usually wear it until way past it's natural lifetime and in many cases, it bears little resemblance to the article that it once was. Such is the case of my slippers. But let's face, there really isn't much out there that I find comfortable - slipper wise. I'm picky and you never know when “good ones” like them may come around...so I hang onto my little, blue slippers like dear, old friends. Anyway, my husband can't point a finger as his slippers are now held together with duct tape...no really!

But, I digress, I asked them for slippers and now I silently wait to see what they will come up with and will they measure up to my “high standards?" Although, I have heard some good things about the L.L. Bean, Wicked Good Slippers. But, they're a bit “costy” for the kids, I know my husband will chip in, he's the Dad and that's what dad's do. No matter, it truly is the thought that counts and in that respect they have already given me a fantastic gift, without buying a thing; they think of me and my needs. Whatever they choose, I hope they'll keep the receipt, so that I can quietly return them, sneak back to Kohl's to dig through the clearance bin and find my slipper soul mates once again. Then, I'll spend the balance on the kids. I know they'll understand, that's just how I roll (thank you Ian, played by David Cross in Alvin and the Chipmunks).

What “counts” with you today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 8, 2011

 Daily Mood Quote

Day 216 - December 8, 2011

Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

~ Thomas Jefferson

I believe that somehow the concept of why this particular holiday season exists has been completely lost in the tidal wave of consumerism and mass marketing that has enveloped our nation. Everywhere I have been over the last three days I have seen and noted more miserable faces and impatient people than I could have ever imagined. They are on the roads and sidewalks, in the stores and even at holiday events. I have to ask, where did patience and good cheer go? I understand that we all have busy lives and there are expectations of us to be here, or there, to do this, or that and many have very foolishly embraced the concept of “I'll rest when I'm dead” as a mantra for modern living, but “in the course of human events (Yes, I borrowed that from the Declaration of Independence),” we have unwittingly transformed a season of thanks into a season of anger and angst. The problem is that it isn't just the normal family holiday infighting, or other small squabbles, that is causing this angst; that's just life. Its the guy in the Escalade SUV behind you, waving his fist furiously and tailgating all the way into the store's parking lot, then running by you into the store, or the shopper with carts full of gifts (you know they are gifts, because no 40 year old needs a Pillow Pet), who while cursing, plows over an older lady who might be moving a bit slower than light speed. I have personally witnessed both in the past two days.

Granted, I have been a bit distracted myself with my father's frail condition and the weight of the holidays bearing down, but gee whiz, I'm convinced things have gotten completely off track in regards to the Christmas season. I see lots of holiday “action,” with little or no holiday spirit out there. It misses the point completely. Its sad and more than a bit disconcerting. Its like giving somebody an ultra lousy birthday party, by doing everything completely opposite of their wishes. Do you think this is what Jesus of Nazareth had in mind when he said “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you (NIV)”? Doesn’t make sense does it? Yet, invariably from the end of November to the end of December it seems as if otherwise decent people embrace the foulest and lowest of behaviors; all to get the deal, get the gift and shove in line ahead of the other guy...for Christmas!!! It really baffles me. 

There have been people giving Christmas gifts for two thousand years and in some way shape or form, they will be presumably doing so for the rest of human history. Who do they think they are getting “ahead of” and how does that relate to the meaning of the holiday? I really don't think the three wise men raced each other to get “there” first, but what do I know. All I know is that it seems like a really crappy way to celebrate anything, let alone a birthday. And for the record, I do not hold the “organized churches” to blame here. There is something else that drives this schizophrenic social behavior and it/they may be found cowering around the feet of Charles Dickens' “Christmas Present” apparition (the story is as relevant today as it was when written). They are the twin specters of "want" and "ignorance" and they have been silently, yet virulently with us all these long centuries, since before any organized religion, before the Nazarene walked on earth and before Dickens' story. I believe, they are artifacts of our early evolution that have hung around like viral DNA and have found ways to undermine and ruin humanity's best attempts at civilization. We need an antidote for our own baser psychologies. “Want:” is anything we don’t have and believe will somehow make things “better,” or equal to someone, or something else. “What a crock! (thanks Three Men and a Baby).” “Ignorance:” she soothes the mind and tells us “it's okay, what you don't know can't hurt you.” But in fact ignorance is a congenital liar who cannot tell a truth. They are both vestigial functions that creeped into our brain structure, when we as a species, began to pull ourselves out of the mud. It is one thing to be motivated, we need that, but the stop switch isn't working yet. And, we can't process everything all the time, there is just too much, but a door to tightly shut keeps both light and sustenance out.

So, with that said, I can't say I have an answer. But, I suspect that author James Allen may have had at least a clue when he combed through history and said. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” So, where is the tranquility gene?

How will you “be calm” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 26, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 206 – November 26, 2011

“Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.”

~Erich Fromm

While surfing the net yesterday, I came across a video that I found to be very disturbing. Walmart had doorbuster sales for “Black Friday.” This doorbuster sale was a $2.00 (yes, that's right) waffle maker. While viewing the video, I saw such bad behavior, in so many people (pushing and shoving) and way too much of one woman's hiney. She didn't bother to pull up her pants, because she was too busy grabbing four of the “doorbuster” waffle makers. This was the most egregious and disgusting display of holiday behavior I have seen in a long while. Are we that desperate, or just that hard up for a $2.00 waffle maker? I believe “sale” and “doorbuster” are rapidly becoming two of the worst words in the American language. They cause what should be rational people to simply lose their minds and abandon common sense, especially during the holiday season. Every year people are seriously hurt and someone loses their life over “sales” and “doorbusters.” Congratulations retailers, their deaths are literately on your hands. You are responsible for taking the life of someone, because of your search for the “almighty dollar,” via the “Black Friday” sale and the doorbuster. I guess we can also call it black for the spirits of those who think this stuff up and for those who blindly “plow” into the sale without regard for others. Yet, retailers are not the ones who are ultimately held responsible for the chaos and mayhem they create. And the media is just as bad (no, you can't slide by on this), because every year the cameras and bobble head reporters are there to sensationalize the carnage.

I have always heard, “you get what you pay for.” In the movie Protocol with Goldie Hawn, she says, “Do you know what my Dad says? He says, if you let a guy sell you a diamond ring for only ten cents, the chances are you own a diamond ring not worth a dime.” Do you know how much sense this makes? If something is cheap, then you can certainly bet, it is worth far less than you paid for it and there is a good probability that it will be broken, or not working by New Year's Eve. What's the point? Just to give some stuff to people, that are now obliged to give you some stuff in return. None of it worth a dime and none of it given for the right reason, the true spirit of Christmas.

Long ago, the small gift exchanges that families had, meant something. They were tokens of love and appreciation with good emotions attached to them. They were thoughtful. Let me ask you this, what good emotions could possibly be attached to a “two dollar waffle maker,” that you had to tackle and abuse a complete stranger to get? And where prey tell, was this “spectacular gift” made? I will bet you it was not made by anybody that gave a rats red backside about Christmas, or it's true meaning. No matter who you are, or where you are from, or what religious beliefs you may hold or attach to Jesus of Nazareth, no one can argue this was clearly not his intention; to have such mayhem, anger and greed associated with the celebration of his birthday. Seriously, who would want that kind of misery hanging over their head?

As for you retailers, like Macy's, J.C. Penny's, and Best Buy, maybe it is time you watched Miracle on 34^th Street with Natalie Wood, about 5,000 times to get the point. Clearly, you're doing it wrong. Imagine, if your younger selves could see you today, they'd kick your butts, for the greed and bad behavior (Thank you Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds in Mr. Deeds).

In the movie Jingle All The Way, Myron Larabee (played by Sinbad) said, “We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up.” For what? Some cheap piece of “stuff,” perceived a deal today, that later ends up being a bust, or busted. So much for doorbusters and the Spirit of Christmas. I think I hear Santa crying in the distance.....

What will you put value on today?

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