Daily Mood Quotes - January 3, 2012

Daily Mood Quote

Day 229 – January 3, 2012

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

~Mark Twain

Yesterday morning, I looked outside and realized we probably had enough snow on the ground to shovel. But, figuring it was a holiday Monday as New Year's Day was on a Sunday this year, my husband and I did not rush out into the suddenly frigid January air, to shovel driveways. We had a slower start to our day and wanted to begin this New Year by spending the first couple of days at home, just enjoying the time together with our children. The holiday season this year was a rough one, punctuated by extreme, frenetic busyness (visiting family out-of-town) because of a death, funeral and the Christmas holiday. So, we needed some quiet, peaceful time to collect our thoughts and gather our sense of equilibrium again. We decided that we were going to take that time, without regret or remorse... it's how you stay healthy, you know.

Anyway to continue with my snow covered story; I took my lunch dishes to the kitchen sink yesterday and happened to look outside and noticed that someone was shoveling our elderly neighbor's driveway. Normally (for the past two years), my husband and I were doing the shoveling after it snowed, but yesterday was different. Someone we could not recognize (heavy winter outdoor attire), was shoveling our neighbor's driveway. What a pleasant surprise to see someone else stepping up and stepping in to do a kindness, for an 89 year old man who ought not to be shoveling snow. A bit later my husband did get out to shovel our driveway and to his wonderment, our other elderly neighbor's driveway, the one on the other side of the house, was also done (we live in a bit of a “senior sandwich” with older neighbors on each side and us “youngsters” in between). In fact, most of the driveway's in the neighborhood had been cleared. This was awesome we thought; truly a fantastic way to start off the New Year. We were delighted and my husband whistled his way through our driveway in short order.

We have no idea who the mystery shoveler is, but we are thankful for their magnanimous display of neighborly kindness. In fact, I'll bet we were happier than the neighbors who had their driveway's shoveled. BRAVO...You are a true, kind and wonderful person.... whoever you are. Thank you.

Mother Theresa said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness. Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” That's the really cool thing about kindness, it radiates outward (and inward too) and positively affects people who are not even direct recipients of the kindness. We felt good all day about that, even though we shoveled our own driveway. Like Morgan Freeman, who played God in the movie Evan Almighty said to Evan Baxter (played by Steve Carell), “How do you change the world? One Act of Random Kindness” (at a time). Enough said.

What “kindness” will you display today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 15, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote 

Day 223 – December 15, 2011

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”

~Jim Carrey

Yet, the belief persists that “money makes you happy.” In reality it causes the greedy to become greedier, the selfish to become more selfish and those who want to want more. All based on a fundamental belief that happiness is externally generated and requires money, or “stuff,” or even the cooperation of other people. Grandma Anna Mary Robertson Moses, a renowned American folk artist said, “life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” So, once you get above the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter (Maslow's hierarchy of needs) happiness is pretty much a self-generated thing. Happiness is a choice, I promise you, buying that “one more thing” will not guarantee happiness, because once that “need” is fulfilled, there is always another one to immediately take its place.

I have often told my children two things; Number One: money doesn't buy happiness, it provides you with peace of mind.” With it , you don't have to worry about paying your bills, losing the roof over your head, or putting food on the table, but it won't, can't, make you happy. That said, happiness comes from within, its a journey you choose to undertake. Number Two: “Do what you love and the money will come.” Yes, this usually requires an education and although many educated people right now are unemployed, I still believe ultimately the education will work out to their advantage. It will provide choices, opportunities and open paths that may have never been available had they not gained the education. The key is to make sure that you really do love the work, not the money. Big difference. All careers require work, dedication and continued effort to yield good results, both internally and externally. So many people, far too many, both young and old I have met are doing jobs they loath. They hate the people they work with, they despise their boss and feel trapped by life's circumstances, just because they feel the “need” to “keep up with the Jones'” and they have got to get the 60 inch surround sound, blu-ray disk, high definition home theater experience....in a one bedroom apartment the size of a shoe box. What's wrong with this picture? I do have a question here, after you purchase what you want, how long does that happiness last? Ten minutes, an hour, a day, a week, a month, what?...

One of the reason this particular observation came about today is because yesterday I overheard a mom say to her daughter, “If I buy this for you, will it make you happy?” The daughter emphatically replied, “Yes!” Really, until the next big thing, latest, greatest, must have comes out, right? I think its the wrong message being sent here. Happiness is a verb not a noun; it requires action and effort, not placation. That two minute excitement you feel when you buy something you want is not happiness, temporary gratification doesn't last. Have we become a nation of “stuff junkies” can't wait until our next shopping trip, the next big score? As I recently said, I have seen people garages jammed packed with stuff and yet to read their faces and body language, the misery radiates off them. It's unmistakeable and really quite sad.

In the movie Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey (Bruce) and Jennifer Aniston (Grace), Bruce is a news reporter with a beautiful girlfriend who adores him, a dog, and a nice apartment. He's successful by every measure of today's standards. But he wasn't satisfied or happy, because he wanted the anchor job and more, more and more and he blamed God for his unhappiness. So, “God” (portrayed by Morgan Freeman), granted Bruce ultimate power. With this “ultimate power” Bruce helped himself, “righting a few wrongs” as he put it, but he only helped himself and no one else, and you know what happened...well I recommend you see the movie, it is awesome. But until you do and to briefly sum it up, he wasn't happy at all. Not even ultimate power can “make someone happy” that's just the way it is.

I guess my point here today is, happiness has nothing to do with “stuff.” I believe that's important to remember in this holiday season and every day of the year. There really is only one path to happiness and it is internal. We have to make the choice to be a happy and work at it daily, it isn't a given, it doesn't come in a box or even in another person or deity. It's a habit that we cultivate and grow; by not only “doing what we love” but by doing life from love. Like Danny Kaye said, Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

How will you paint happiness today?

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Daily Mood Quote - September 4, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 124 – September 4, 2011

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

~Buddha

Yesterday my mind was rattled because of the amount of homework and short deadlines for school projects. It was surprising at how difficult it was to focus or even think about anything other than the assignments that were pending. To be fair, I allowed other distractions to take ascendancy this week, putting my homework and reading on the back-burner. I won't do that again, because the stress of that event caused a horrible headache. Better time management skills are in order this week.

This morning, I woke up feeling calm and peaceful, a good night sleep was exactly what I needed after the stresses of yesterday. I was amazed at how I let things back up to the point of feeling overwhelmed. At one point I ask myself, if I could handle grad school? What was interesting was, once I sat down and began to clear the clutter from my mind, things fell into place as assignment after assignment was completed. First the paper, then the reading, then the analysis of a case study and before I knew it my homework was under control. That's a good thing because I was really concerned. I did realize something though, in grad school, you really can't take a day off. If you do, you fall behind and it's hard to play catch up. Especially when your an adult learner and have other responsibilities in your life.

They say wisdom comes with age, I think wisdom comes from mistakes and lesson learned.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” I believe this because peace isn't inherited, or a gift one can give to someone. It's not something we are born with, nor is it something we can buy. Peace is only something we can achieve if we choose. I've made the mistake of “back-burnering” an important project (procrastination) and it rattled me. So, in my case, peace begins with getting the things I can control, under control. I'll admit that there are so very many things that are beyond my control and quite frankly I wouldn't want to try to control them. In the movie Bruce Almighty, God (played by Morgan Freeman) said to Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) "Triumph is born out of struggle faith is the alchemist. If you want pictures like these, you'll need to use some dark colors." Those pictures are having the things I can control, under control.

I can control my thoughts, my actions and reactions and how I prioritize things in my life. Lesson learned and a little wisdom gained. From now on, I won't wait so long. My husband says that “the big lessons in life almost always carry with them a little bit of discomfort, (dark colors) so that they stick in our memory.” It's just the way we have developed as a species. Well the headache and panic of letting my work get behind is more than enough “discomfort” than I wish to experience again, so I won't soon forget. I like the “peace” that comes with that bit of wisdom. We all have the choice to control our actions and reactions, and to choose peace in our life instead of panic. It's up to each of us to make that call. I choose peace, at least in what I can control.

Will you choose “peace” today, or let panic get in the way?

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Daily Mood Quote - July 29, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 87 – July 29, 2011

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.

~Margaret J. Wheatley

One of the inescapable laws of the universe is; for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This also happens when we refuse to take action, it draws action toward us that we may not see, until its too late and we have no control over it. We don't always see the effects of our actions, be they thoughtful or thoughtless. But, we can be assured the reaction happens just the same. When we push a “personal agenda” we often are blinded to how that agenda affects others and the world around us. Even if the agenda has the “best of intentions” the result in other areas may be unintended and consequential.

The other day, I had the opportunity to watch how a well intended, but ill timed action created a whole series of negative consequences. On a major highway near my home, a minivan crossed lanes to take an off-ramp ahead of a semi-trailer and caused a major accident at a very busy intersection. I'm sure that nobody in the van “intended” to cause the ensuing carnage and confusion. But, it happened just the same.The driver just wanted to take “this off-ramp,” at “this time” and didn't allow room for error, or take into consideration others on the road. The “best of intentions” tied to personal agendas more often than not lead to more problems and many unintended consequences. A simple thoughtless action, created damage, hurt innocent people, made people late for appointments, stopped critical goods and services from reaching their destination, raised all of our insurance rates....the list goes on and on. And so during the two hours it took to reopen the road and clear the mess; nothing else happened and nothing got done, at least right there AND, the persons in the van never got on the off ramp and to their destination.

The thing is that our culture has fostered the concept of “personal agenda”, well meaning or not, above common sense and the common good. This has lead our government to the brink of default (gee thanks Congress) and many families to be swimming in the same kind of debt that our country is. I believe in personal freedom as much as anyone and strongly support the ideals and intention of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, but they nowhere state “I without thought to others” It says “We the People” OK, point made.

There is another side to this coin that I am obliged to discuss. That is the unintended consequences of kindness. There isn't a downside. It is the one thing in our world which usually reacts in kind, instead of against. Kindness is unique in this behavior. When a genuine kind act is planted it is because the focus isn't on the doer, or “personal agendas” We reach out to the world and it reaches back. It also begins to grow and expand, if even a little bit, and we are all better for it.

In the movie Bruce Almighty, Bruce Nolan (played by Jim Carey) was self-centered, well meaning but more concerned with his “agenda” than anybody else. By pursuing his agenda, he creates chaos and mayhem trying to get Grace (Jennifer Aniston) to come back and love him. Until he learned the lesson "we have to think of others first." Toward the end of the movie, he realizes his “agenda” error and speaks to God, (portrayed by Morgan Freeman) and says, “No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now...”

In short order, things returned to their natural order and she returned that love and kindness. Yes it's just a movie, but the truth is real. Before we a can forward our own “agenda', we must consider others and consider the consequences of our actions, both intended and unintended.

What will your agenda be today?

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Daily Mood Quotes

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 78 – July 20, 2011

You're alive. That means you have infinite potential. You can do anything, make anything, dream anything. If you change the world, the world will change.

~Neil Gaiman

Sometimes, I feel that people believe the only way to change the world is through some grand gesture, or some highly affluent position, which affords them the money to change the world. So, many don't even try. We live our day-to-day lives, going about our business, never paying attention to, or reaching out to those around us in small and meaningful ways. Perhaps its because our culture is a bit skewed toward grandiose and overt acts, that grab headlines. Or, perhaps its because we have allowed ourselves to be so busy, we don't take time to help. Maybe both or neither, I'm not certain. Yes, the grand gestures of this world can make a impact on a larger scale, but often for only a short time. The ancient Chinese proverb goes: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” So it is with kindness; food for your and their spirit. It's the smaller acts of kindness that make the real difference. They impact people personally and make those small shifts of perspective, for the giver and the receiver, that truly change the world.

For example, yesterday I went to Walmart to purchase a few small items (they were on sale) and there was a mom with her two young children in a cart, pulling things off the shelves, while the mother desperately tried to shop. Boy, have I been there. I walked over and with a smile, making eye contact with the mom, so she knew I wasn't crazy, dangerous or both and said to her son, “You like to play the game 52 pick-up, don't you?” while picking up the items from the floor. Then through a little game, I once played with my own children, I got both children to sit down in the cart. The mother who no longer showed frustration and embarrassment on her face said, “Thank you” and smiled. My husband and I walked away while saying in unison “Your welcome.” Don't forget he stood there patiently, while I played the “sit down game” for the thousandth time.

On May 10, 2011, Day six of this blog, I talked about building an A-R-K, which comes from the movie Evan Almighty with Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman. This movie is one of my favorites because of the strong message, that is profoundly restated throughout the movie. “How do you change the world? One Act of Random Kindness at a time.” A smile to a person who is having a bad day. Assistance to someone who dropped something, or a friendly ear to someone who needs a friend. You might be surprised at the difference these things can make in someone's life. We are going through tough times and the only news that is being displayed is downright depressing. It's easy to turn inward and try to close out the world. But that's never how things get better. It just reinforces the negative. To change our world, we must begin by embracing it with a heart full of love and an Act of Random Kindness.

How will you "change" someone's world today?

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Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 75 – July 17, 2011

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

~Tim Robbins

There was a time in my life when I planned out everything. What I was going to wear, what I was going to eat, to the activities I did day-to-day. Many of my friends called me rigid, and they were right, I was. Every night before I went to sleep, I would make a list, a to-do-list of all the things to be completed the next day. I followed that list to the letter, never changing it, never adding or subtracting from the list. I also found I got upset when I couldn't complete the list. How sad is that?

Life has a way a making us change, not necessarily who we are, (it"s good to have a foundation), just the way we do things. That could be the hardest change to make. There is a phrase, “set in your ways” and many of us are. We tend to fall back on what we are comfortable with, what we know, and what we  think we know works. There is nothing wrong with that, except when we fail to make progress and grow in our lives. The popular definition of insanity includes: "doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results"(Rita May Brown, 1983).

In the movie Evan Almighty, Congressman Evan Baxter (played by Steve Carell) has an encounter with God (Morgan Freeman), who asks Evan, “How about it, feel like living on the edge?” Shortly after, Evan makes God laugh when he tells him, “This whole building an ARK thing, isn't really part of my plans here, I got to settle into my house, I've got to make a good impression at work...” God says while laughing, “Your plans, thats...” and begins laughing harder at Evan. The fact is, life doesn't really care what our “plans” are. Things change and we have to change with it, like it or not. We as a family, no longer stick strictly to Plan A, although we try, but often we follow Plan B, Plan C and even Plan D.... Section II, paragraph three, line five... which simply reads; "Forget your plans and go with the flow.” I have learned to be flexible, because everyday is a new day and since I wasn't born with a crystal ball, visions of tomorrow, like Nostradamus, or even 10 minutes from now, I've learned to be more flexible than Gumby, the green, animated character from the 1950's and popularly portrayed on Saturday Night Live by Eddie Murphy. Is it sometimes frustrating? You Bettcha! But, it does keep things interesting! By the way, I still plan what I am going to eat and wear, the rest...well, there is always Plan B.

How will you be “flexible” in your schedule today?

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