Daily Mood Quotes - December 15, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote 

Day 223 – December 15, 2011

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”

~Jim Carrey

Yet, the belief persists that “money makes you happy.” In reality it causes the greedy to become greedier, the selfish to become more selfish and those who want to want more. All based on a fundamental belief that happiness is externally generated and requires money, or “stuff,” or even the cooperation of other people. Grandma Anna Mary Robertson Moses, a renowned American folk artist said, “life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” So, once you get above the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter (Maslow's hierarchy of needs) happiness is pretty much a self-generated thing. Happiness is a choice, I promise you, buying that “one more thing” will not guarantee happiness, because once that “need” is fulfilled, there is always another one to immediately take its place.

I have often told my children two things; Number One: money doesn't buy happiness, it provides you with peace of mind.” With it , you don't have to worry about paying your bills, losing the roof over your head, or putting food on the table, but it won't, can't, make you happy. That said, happiness comes from within, its a journey you choose to undertake. Number Two: “Do what you love and the money will come.” Yes, this usually requires an education and although many educated people right now are unemployed, I still believe ultimately the education will work out to their advantage. It will provide choices, opportunities and open paths that may have never been available had they not gained the education. The key is to make sure that you really do love the work, not the money. Big difference. All careers require work, dedication and continued effort to yield good results, both internally and externally. So many people, far too many, both young and old I have met are doing jobs they loath. They hate the people they work with, they despise their boss and feel trapped by life's circumstances, just because they feel the “need” to “keep up with the Jones'” and they have got to get the 60 inch surround sound, blu-ray disk, high definition home theater experience....in a one bedroom apartment the size of a shoe box. What's wrong with this picture? I do have a question here, after you purchase what you want, how long does that happiness last? Ten minutes, an hour, a day, a week, a month, what?...

One of the reason this particular observation came about today is because yesterday I overheard a mom say to her daughter, “If I buy this for you, will it make you happy?” The daughter emphatically replied, “Yes!” Really, until the next big thing, latest, greatest, must have comes out, right? I think its the wrong message being sent here. Happiness is a verb not a noun; it requires action and effort, not placation. That two minute excitement you feel when you buy something you want is not happiness, temporary gratification doesn't last. Have we become a nation of “stuff junkies” can't wait until our next shopping trip, the next big score? As I recently said, I have seen people garages jammed packed with stuff and yet to read their faces and body language, the misery radiates off them. It's unmistakeable and really quite sad.

In the movie Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey (Bruce) and Jennifer Aniston (Grace), Bruce is a news reporter with a beautiful girlfriend who adores him, a dog, and a nice apartment. He's successful by every measure of today's standards. But he wasn't satisfied or happy, because he wanted the anchor job and more, more and more and he blamed God for his unhappiness. So, “God” (portrayed by Morgan Freeman), granted Bruce ultimate power. With this “ultimate power” Bruce helped himself, “righting a few wrongs” as he put it, but he only helped himself and no one else, and you know what happened...well I recommend you see the movie, it is awesome. But until you do and to briefly sum it up, he wasn't happy at all. Not even ultimate power can “make someone happy” that's just the way it is.

I guess my point here today is, happiness has nothing to do with “stuff.” I believe that's important to remember in this holiday season and every day of the year. There really is only one path to happiness and it is internal. We have to make the choice to be a happy and work at it daily, it isn't a given, it doesn't come in a box or even in another person or deity. It's a habit that we cultivate and grow; by not only “doing what we love” but by doing life from love. Like Danny Kaye said, Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

How will you paint happiness today?

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Daily Mood Quote - July 29, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 87 – July 29, 2011

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.

~Margaret J. Wheatley

One of the inescapable laws of the universe is; for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This also happens when we refuse to take action, it draws action toward us that we may not see, until its too late and we have no control over it. We don't always see the effects of our actions, be they thoughtful or thoughtless. But, we can be assured the reaction happens just the same. When we push a “personal agenda” we often are blinded to how that agenda affects others and the world around us. Even if the agenda has the “best of intentions” the result in other areas may be unintended and consequential.

The other day, I had the opportunity to watch how a well intended, but ill timed action created a whole series of negative consequences. On a major highway near my home, a minivan crossed lanes to take an off-ramp ahead of a semi-trailer and caused a major accident at a very busy intersection. I'm sure that nobody in the van “intended” to cause the ensuing carnage and confusion. But, it happened just the same.The driver just wanted to take “this off-ramp,” at “this time” and didn't allow room for error, or take into consideration others on the road. The “best of intentions” tied to personal agendas more often than not lead to more problems and many unintended consequences. A simple thoughtless action, created damage, hurt innocent people, made people late for appointments, stopped critical goods and services from reaching their destination, raised all of our insurance rates....the list goes on and on. And so during the two hours it took to reopen the road and clear the mess; nothing else happened and nothing got done, at least right there AND, the persons in the van never got on the off ramp and to their destination.

The thing is that our culture has fostered the concept of “personal agenda”, well meaning or not, above common sense and the common good. This has lead our government to the brink of default (gee thanks Congress) and many families to be swimming in the same kind of debt that our country is. I believe in personal freedom as much as anyone and strongly support the ideals and intention of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, but they nowhere state “I without thought to others” It says “We the People” OK, point made.

There is another side to this coin that I am obliged to discuss. That is the unintended consequences of kindness. There isn't a downside. It is the one thing in our world which usually reacts in kind, instead of against. Kindness is unique in this behavior. When a genuine kind act is planted it is because the focus isn't on the doer, or “personal agendas” We reach out to the world and it reaches back. It also begins to grow and expand, if even a little bit, and we are all better for it.

In the movie Bruce Almighty, Bruce Nolan (played by Jim Carey) was self-centered, well meaning but more concerned with his “agenda” than anybody else. By pursuing his agenda, he creates chaos and mayhem trying to get Grace (Jennifer Aniston) to come back and love him. Until he learned the lesson "we have to think of others first." Toward the end of the movie, he realizes his “agenda” error and speaks to God, (portrayed by Morgan Freeman) and says, “No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now...”

In short order, things returned to their natural order and she returned that love and kindness. Yes it's just a movie, but the truth is real. Before we a can forward our own “agenda', we must consider others and consider the consequences of our actions, both intended and unintended.

What will your agenda be today?

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Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 71 – July 13, 2011

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.”

~ Russell H. Ewing

A very long time ago, a man I respected very much told me, I had the potential to be a great leader, I just needed an education and experience. Well, I'm educated and I'm experienced. I'm also unemployed, not by choice. My position was downsized and a woman I worked with pulled out her claws and prepared herself for battle (remember I read body language) this wasn't a physical battle, but a battle for a job that involved playing a corporate game (I'm too old to play high school games). That job seemed more important to her than to me. I would have loved to stayed employed, but I am not the kind of person who lies, spreads rumors, shares gossip or makes things up in order to keep a job. I have to look at myself in the mirror every night and be all right with my behavior, before I go to sleep. My clear conscience means something to me, as well as a good night sleep.

Having worked for several bosses, I've got a good idea of what works and what doesn't work. On Friday, a local radio station ask for stories about horrible bosses to acknowledge the release of the movie Horrible Bosses with Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey and Jamie Fox, just to name a few. Anyway, some of these stories weren't really surprising to me, because I have lived here in the ragged edge of the “Rust Belt” for nearly nine years and have had a few of these horrible bosses. Plus, my husband worked for the worlds' worst boss ever... until the IRS seized his boss's accounts and my husband and others lost their jobs, because of malfeasance on his boss's part.

I know the program Undercover Boss was put on television to show that bosses, CEO's, COO's of companies have a “softer side” when they take the time to learn about the people in their company. This is a horrible show , a PR stunt and one I believe is just taking up space and wasting time. Especially, when you follow it with The Apprentice and watch people verbally and sometimes physically fight for a “job” and are sometimes lead into the argument by a verbally abusive potential boss (guess who). It might make for good television ratings, but the producers fail to understand that this is an example being set and some employers and employees are following it. Have we learned nothing over the past thirty years?

People don't have jobs because they want to work, we have jobs because we need to work. Not everyone is a millionaire and in some cases are not really interested in being millionaires, just being safe and warm. Many just want to be able to pay for life, for food, bills, and yes, even pay for occasional family fun.

In the movie Nine to Five, Violet (played by Lily Tomlin) said to Franklin M. Hart, Jr. (played by Dabney Coleman), “I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated equally with a little dignity and a little respect.” I think people let the crap their "horrible boss" dishes out just roll off, because they intrinsically know; “The only real boss is the one who walks around under your hat” (Thank you Napoleon Hill). That doesn't make the bad behavior right, or acceptable. The point is; the term “boss” and “leader” are not interchangeable. There is now, and as long as we follow “televised” examples, will continue to be, a fundamental lack of leadership in business and in life, no matter how many “bosses” exist.

Will you “lead” or “boss” today?

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