Daily Mood Quotes - January 2, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 228 – January 2, 2012

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.

~Sally Field

Recently, I overheard a young lady put herself down and ask the question, “What's wrong with me?” A group of friends were trying to get together to have an afternoon outing before the “normalness” of life (family, school, work, etc.) returned after the holidays. Well, you know the saying, “the best laid plans of mice and men,” once again had gone astray. All of the sudden, some of the friends couldn't go; they had other commitments and they were texting the leader of this group to cancel. Unfortunately, this upset one young lady very much, which resulted in her lashing out at one of her friends. This prompted the aforementioned young lady to question her own character; to ask “What's wrong with me??? Now, I understand that this happens, it happened to me, once or twice in my life, but when somebody deliberately and with malice attacks another's character, virtue, or good intent for just simply helping... well, they should be ashamed of themselves. Make no mistake, this behavior is wrong and hurts feelings, which begins to cause loss of trust in a relationship. This is the precursor of a fast-moving death spiral in any relationship.

An unknown author said, “Success comes in cans, not can'ts.” A lot of what success is about is “attitude” and if you allow the can'ts provided by other people to determine your opinion of yourself, then the can'ts will always outnumber the cans. Understand this; the “can'ts” can come from just about anyone, a spouse, a teacher, a friend, a family member, a boss and a complete and total stranger, but the can and the belief in yourself, can only come from inside you. One of my favorite quotes comes from David Brinkley, he said, “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.” That foundation starts with the belief that you can do something, be someone remarkable and follow your better purpose. Let's face it, it's challenging to not succumb to the accumulated negativity of others and the pressures of society in general. Even my husband who has been born with a God given art talent has found himself, “frozen” by the can'ts and the pressures to make his work “commercially viable”; all based on his parent's favorite saying, “I don't know how your gonna make a living doing that.” It comes subtly; it creeps into the back of your mind and can ensnare the most educated and self-assured, if they are not mindful of it and it's something we all face. The key is to make the conscious effort to overcome the subconscious negative messages. To give more weight to the “I can” than to the blizzard of “you can't.”

In the case of the young lady; well it seems she thought it through and decided that the problem wasn't with her, but with the timing of things... that's not something we can control. So she let it go. Bravo!

The coming of the new year provides us with an opportunity to reset our internal compasses and follow the path of “I can” and leave behind the negative “you can'ts” that have been dragging us down. I know it sounds somewhat trite, but it is true never the less; all “fresh starts” begin with a fresh attitude about ourselves and our possibilities. The key is to make the positive “I cans” sing above the murmur of the accumulated negative inputs into our lives. That track, like pops and scratches on a record album, can be annoying, but it does not detract from the music that our spirits are meant to sing in our lives. The original “master recordings” are there for us, if we simply stop and listen to our hearts.

Wendy Wasserstein said, “Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.”

Helen Keller (blind and deaf) was remarkable, Beethoven (deaf) was remarkable, Steven Hawking 

(amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), sometimes known as Lou Gehrig's disease) is remarkable. I can, so can you...

How “remarkable” will you be today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 14, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 222 – December 14, 2011

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.

~Helen Keller

Every year my children ask me, “Mom, what do you want for Christmas?” Every year my answer is the same, 26 years the same...” healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband” is my answer. So, this year my children prefaced their question with, “Mom, besides healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband, what would you like for Christmas this year?” Wow, I didn't see that one coming, they are catching on to me. It's not as easy to dodge their quick, minds. Okay, “my smart children” I said, with a chuckle, “let me think about it and I'll get back to you.” I did get back to them a few days later, and to their surprise, it was an unexpected answer. At least I thought so. I didn't want jewelry, I'm not a show piece. I didn't want clothes, that's an ongoing battle, me and my weight. I don't want a gift card, because as my husband say's, “you'll just spend it on the kids anyway.” Between you and me I think they secretly count of that. The jig was up when I got a gift card to Old Navy, giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle...

Anyway, I have a pair of slippers that I bought myself on clearance last year at Kohl's. They are light blue, such soft quilted material, size 6 (I have freakishly small feet for an adult woman) and the most comfortable pair of slippers I have ever worn in my life. They are my constant companion. I wear them to get the mail, to drive (my husband drives, I tag along) the kids to school, to sit out back while watching the dogs and every minute of every day around the house. “If I was walking', I was walking'” in my comfy slippers. Here we are a year later, I still have my slippers and they are still comfortable; as comfortable as one can have wearing tattered rags and shards of plastic on your feet. Okay, they're a little worse for wear an tear, torn-up and there really isn't much left where the rubber meets the road. My family refers to them as “mom's ventilated slippers.” Holes fore and aft (thanks U.S. Navy for the nautical lingo lessons). If they were boats, they would have sank a long time ago.

I must admit it's mostly my fault that I walk around in perforated papuče (Slovak), as I can't give them up, even when I know they are long beyond serviceable. It drives my family just about crazy, because when I find something comfortable to wear, I usually wear it until way past it's natural lifetime and in many cases, it bears little resemblance to the article that it once was. Such is the case of my slippers. But let's face, there really isn't much out there that I find comfortable - slipper wise. I'm picky and you never know when “good ones” like them may come around...so I hang onto my little, blue slippers like dear, old friends. Anyway, my husband can't point a finger as his slippers are now held together with duct tape...no really!

But, I digress, I asked them for slippers and now I silently wait to see what they will come up with and will they measure up to my “high standards?" Although, I have heard some good things about the L.L. Bean, Wicked Good Slippers. But, they're a bit “costy” for the kids, I know my husband will chip in, he's the Dad and that's what dad's do. No matter, it truly is the thought that counts and in that respect they have already given me a fantastic gift, without buying a thing; they think of me and my needs. Whatever they choose, I hope they'll keep the receipt, so that I can quietly return them, sneak back to Kohl's to dig through the clearance bin and find my slipper soul mates once again. Then, I'll spend the balance on the kids. I know they'll understand, that's just how I roll (thank you Ian, played by David Cross in Alvin and the Chipmunks).

What “counts” with you today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - December 9, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 217 – December 9, 2011

Rebellion against your handicaps get you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world – making the most of one's best.

~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Okay so, none of us are perfect!! We all have varying degrees of imperfection; some visible, some not-so visible, and all too many have spiritual handicaps. Even the person who can look in the mirror, and see a perfect physique, surrounded by all the riches of the world can and often do have inside them a vast wasteland of confusion and longing. Just look at the trail of "A list" celebrities that are emotional train wrecks. An emptiness despite the wealth, despite the superficial appearance of completion and fulfillment, people can still be unhappy, handicapped. So, yes in some way we are all handicapped.

The key is and the great journey of our lives is, to overcome those handicaps that we are born with, or that we may acquire over the course of our lives. The great battle lies not without, but within. Our attitudes about our selves and our possibilities can become either an ally and trusted companion along this journey, or they can be the potholes, snares and barriers that we meet along the way. Our attitudes about other people, our attitudes about ourselves, our attitudes about life and it's meaning are all under our control. Attitude is the mechanism of free will that does the real heavy lifting in our lives.

John Maxwell said, “Attitude determines success or failure.” In his book Attitude 101, he eludes to the fact that attitudes are learned and once they're acquired, not so easily changed. But he also says that they can however be changed with commitment, energy and a little faith. It may not be easy, but I believe its worth the effort. In the book, Maxwell mentions road signs in Northern Canada that read “Driver, please choose carefully which rut you drive in, because you'll be in it for the next 20 miles.” That could just as easily read, “Life traveler, please choose carefully which attitude you pick, because you'll be stuck with it for the next 20 years...at least.”

The point is, I believe that for every handicap in a person's life, the universe provides and equal and opposite gift. If you think about it some of the most noted people in history, have overcome physical, mental and emotional handicaps to achieve greatness beyond their more apparently gifted peers. If you read history (a passion of mine) Mozart overcame what would today be classified as ADHD and depression, to become arguably the most noted composer in history. Helen Keller, who was struck deaf and blind, understood and expressed more about humanity than most of us who can see and hear. In today's world Stephen Hawking, confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, has helped science to unlock the mysteries of the universe. Although, I also believe bitterness has colored his conclusions about the spirit somewhat. I heard a saying on NCIS Los Angeles a week or two ago, I think it went like this, "Haters gotta hate." To be honest, I never felt sorry for someone so successful, until I read excerpts from his latest book. There is a palpable sense of abandonment that drifts through his writing. But, I am not a book critic and this is not a book review. Just my observation.

One more point John Maxwell makes that I agree with, “In order to achieve your dreams, you must embrace adversity (your disabilities) and make failure a regular part of your life. If you're not failing, you're probably not really moving forward.” It is one of my beliefs that all of us are presented with handicaps of one manner, or another and that they are all necessary catalysts that are there to help propel us forward on our great journey. When people let their disabilities stop them, instead of accepting and embracing them, they deny themselves a true and necessary guide to finding their bigger purpose and best possible self.

What "possibilities" will you discover today?

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Daily Mood Quote - September 15, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 135 – September 15, 2011

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened up for us”

~Helen Keller

In my life I have found that getting settled in one's way can be like quicksand. When opportunity presents itself you can't seize it, because your feet are stuck in the “same old way” of doing things. Habits can work for you, or against you. There is a saying, I'm paraphrasing again, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I usually avoid waxing political in this blog, but: last night on The CBS Evening News, Scott Pelley interviewed the CEO of Starbucks Coffee, Howard Schultz and I have got to tell you, I liked what he had to say about how our political system is “broken” (his words). Unfortunately for us, he's right and until we stop doing things in Washington the “same old way” (Congress), things are never going to get better. What I thought was interesting in the interview was companies/corporations are sitting on trillions of dollars and yet jobs are not being created, and we have the highest number of people living in poverty ever. Even higher than the great depression. Sad, just simply sad!!! Mr. Shultz went on to explain that savvy companies (the ones with the cash) no longer have enough faith in our political system to invest that money on R&D, expansion and job creation. Its not the American people, tax codes, or even the global economy, preventing corporate job creation and making them sit on their cash. Its our representatives failing to work together. A simple thing that is expected in every business, everywhere. Yet Congress and the Senate can't get past their focus on the next election cycle. That focus seems to be unilaterally “make them (pick a party) look bad.” Instead of, “do better, so we look good.” It's been that way since the Newt Gingrich era (or at least it seems, some say it was the start of extreme negative partisan politics).

My husband told me a story this morning about something called “the monkey trap.” I had never heard this before, so I looked it up at www.urbandictionary.com (it's not in Webster’s) it says, “A trap to capture various monkeys used around the world which consists of a staked container with a hole cut into it just wide enough for a monkey to stick it's empty hand into. The container is baited with something attractive to the monkey. Monkey reaches for bait and then will not release the bait and cannot pull it's hand out of the trap with bait in hand. It is then captured.” Sounds an awful lot like American politics to me. The people who are supposed to be representing us, appear to be so fixated on holding onto their campaign funding, that they cannot see the opportunity to positively transform the broken system that lies right before them. It feels like we are all caught in the same trap with them.

I guess what I'm trying to say here without bashing our politicians too much is that Mr. Schultz was right when he said, “The lifeblood of the reelections of every one of our Congressional leaders in Washington is about fundraising. And I want to cut that off until we see civility, until we have a long-term debt ceiling deal that we are proud of, and restored confidence in America. And I just feel very strongly that this is a time when we no longer should accept the status quo mediocrity that we're getting.”

To be perfectly blunt, most people in America and around the world would be summarily fired if they handled their job the way Congress is handling theirs. Something to think about. Thank you Mr. Schultz for being honest, about our political system, Washington and our leaders.

Like Michael Douglas said as President Andrew Shepherd in the movie The American President, “We've got serious problems, and we need serious people...” This is now the time for serious people and maybe their fifteen minutes are up...

Just a thought, Helen Keller was blind and deaf and yet she saw and heard “opportunity” more clearly than all of Washington.

Which “door of opportunity” will you open today?

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Daily Mood Quote - July 7, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 64 – July 7, 2011

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

~Helen Keller

I have often asked myself the question, do people, who have never faced adversity; true adversity, not a broken nail, in their life, understand the difficulties they put upon someone when they pass judgment on those who are different? Today's blog is a personal story and its a bit grumpy. Be forewarned.

It was November 12, 2002, when I was told I was loosing my eye sight. It would be gradual and slow, but it would be noticeable. Over the years, I, along with my husband, have found creative ways to see, to read, to graduate with honors from college, to maintain a 4.0 in grad school and live life daily. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. Outwardly, I look like anyone else, well-mannered and courteous. I try to dress nice and always look presentable. I also wear a pair of glasses to make the big picture a little less blurry, most of the time. Picking out details in that big picture, even up close, is very difficult, so I have learned to enjoy the “scenery”. Sunsets are amazing, a bit like a Monet painting.

When it comes time to read, I add a second pair of glasses over the pair I am wearing. This little trick permits me to see the pages clearly enough to read, study and participate in class discussions. Without another viable solution, I got creative. This works for me, even my ophthalmologist said, “That's very creative and smart.” To the point of our story, I am smart, creative, educated and I have a lot to offer any employer. But, after 434 resumes submitted and many interviews locally, the word has spread that I “wear two pair of glasses” GASP! at the same time. I have heard through conversations with friends and even HR professionals in my area, that the pervasive local irrationality is, “If you have low vision (now), you must have low intelligence.” The interview usually ends when the glasses go on. As if one had anything to do with the other. It's kind of like saying; Beethoven suddenly couldn't compose, since he lost his hearing. Although his best work came after. He had sharpened his ability to focus. I have interviewed with hospitals (you think they would know better), banks, retail establishments and small businesses. It doesn’t seem to matter that I might be the smartest cookie on the sheet. I am different and because I have something people cannot readily see, they don't understand. Nor do they want too. I have passed the tests and have the skills, education and experience, so after two years one simple conclusion remains...

The most difficult part of this process hasn't been losing my eye sight, it has been in comprehending and accepting the attitudes of others. Quite the shocker! I simply wasn't raised to discriminate, I grew up in a racially, financially and socially mixed neighborhood, so I find I have to work to understand the discrimination. In the movie Philadelphia, Joe Miller (played by Denzel Washington) defending Andrew Beckett (played by Tom Hanks) said, “The Federal Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 prohibits discrimination against otherwise qualified handicapped persons who are able to perform the duties required by their employment.” he continued to say, “This is the essence of discrimination, formulating opinions about others not based on their individual merits, but rather on their...” For me, the fact that I do something just a bit differently, I wear two pair of glasses at once, causes elimination from consideration for a position almost immediately. In this economy it's tough enough to find a job, but when you add petty discrimination, it becomes all but impossible. So be it, enough whining.

The thing I want to convey isn't that my situation is difficult. It is. What I want to talk about is resolve and character. We all are given gifts and burdens and every once in a while it's OK to take a look at both honestly. My husband says “Adversity doesn't build character. It reveals it.” Helen Keller says “...only through trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Well, my soul is well built and my character laid bare to the world. I guess I'm ready for the success. Like Beethoven, my best work is yet to come. When we look inside and view our strengths and our weaknesses, we must be honest and fair about both. I can't see so well, but I can think and do... and so I shall.

What will a look inside reveal about yourself today?

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Daily Mood Quote - June 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 44 – June 17, 2011

“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are.”

~Bernice Johnson Reagon

Sometimes, I wish the challenges of life would slow down, so that I can catch up. It's been 8 years and 7 months since I found out just how bad my eyesight was. Ever since, I have been working diligently to accommodate and prove, to some degree, that losing your vision has nothing to do with how intelligent a person is. The brain and the eyes are mutually exclusive. Enough said about that.

Life can throw many curves, whether you are ready or not. It doesn't care if you can hit the ball or even how far the ball can fly if you connect. All it seems to care about is the next challenge it will send. Each pitch that life throws at us is an opportunity to learn, grow and be better prepared for the next one. The point is to keep swinging and learning, because eventually you will connect.

In the movie Rocky, Adrian (played by Talia Shire) speaking to her brother Paulie (played by Burt Young) about Rocky's (Sylvester Stallone) chances against Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) said, “Einstein flunked out of school, twice.” “Beethoven was deaf, Helen Keller was blind, I think Rocky's got a good chance!” Even the best of us have to face the curves and challenges of life. It is one thing to challenge yourself, but something quite different to rise above yourself to meet a challenge. Let's face it the biggest challenge each of us faces is within. It's the attitude you have when faced with a challenge, or life's curve balls. Back then I wanted to give up, because of my eyesight. But by chance, I met a blind attorney, who was at the top of his game. What an inspiration! Maybe it wasn't chance after all... While life may throw curves, it also usually provides a batting coach.

How will you overcome “challenges” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - May 18, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 14 – May 18, 2011

"Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."

-Jamie Paolinetti-

I have always believed that limitations are chains that one puts on themselves. On November 12, 2002, I was told I was losing my sight. My first reaction was, my life is over. Actually, my life was just beginning. It's amazing how clear the world became to me. Society tends to make broad generalizations such as, “you can't see, you can't do,” you can't hear, you can't know” and “you can't walk, you can't participate.” None of these things are true. These are folktales at best and prejudice at worse. If you look at history's examples you find that many have risen beyond societies preconceived notions to achieve the remarkable. A few examples include Helen Keller who was blind and deaf, yet rose to heights that many of us only dream of reaching. Many would argue that Beethoven did his best work after he lost his hearing. A wheelchair bound Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32^nd President of the United States, carried our country on his shoulders, through the two most grave threats the nation has ever faced, The Great Depression and World War II. History is full of such examples.

The achievements of the aforementioned examples are what can be accomplished, when we believe in ourselves and limitless possibilities. I am inspired by these stories and will not allow my vision loss to decrease my vision of what life can be. Richard Bach in his book Illusions puts it best, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.”. What does it mean? Simply, the only limitations people have are the one they resign themselves too. Mr. Bach also wrote “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” That one is also true. While we may not always actively “seek” our problems, ultimately they all come bearing some gift that we can use to better ourselves, or teach others. Although, we may not appreciate the “gift” at first sight, or in my case, not sight.

In the past nine years, my physical vision has deteriorated, it is hard to see distance, although I still reach for my dreams and envision a greater future than ever before. I can no longer drive a car, but my drive for success is stronger than ever. As Fräulein Maria (played by Julie Andrews) said in The Sound of Music “When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” The window I have found is a greater appreciation of the gifts in my life and what my true life goals are. The window is open and the view is terrific!

What is your limitless vision?

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