Daily Mood Quotes - December 8, 2011

 Daily Mood Quote

Day 216 - December 8, 2011

Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

~ Thomas Jefferson

I believe that somehow the concept of why this particular holiday season exists has been completely lost in the tidal wave of consumerism and mass marketing that has enveloped our nation. Everywhere I have been over the last three days I have seen and noted more miserable faces and impatient people than I could have ever imagined. They are on the roads and sidewalks, in the stores and even at holiday events. I have to ask, where did patience and good cheer go? I understand that we all have busy lives and there are expectations of us to be here, or there, to do this, or that and many have very foolishly embraced the concept of “I'll rest when I'm dead” as a mantra for modern living, but “in the course of human events (Yes, I borrowed that from the Declaration of Independence),” we have unwittingly transformed a season of thanks into a season of anger and angst. The problem is that it isn't just the normal family holiday infighting, or other small squabbles, that is causing this angst; that's just life. Its the guy in the Escalade SUV behind you, waving his fist furiously and tailgating all the way into the store's parking lot, then running by you into the store, or the shopper with carts full of gifts (you know they are gifts, because no 40 year old needs a Pillow Pet), who while cursing, plows over an older lady who might be moving a bit slower than light speed. I have personally witnessed both in the past two days.

Granted, I have been a bit distracted myself with my father's frail condition and the weight of the holidays bearing down, but gee whiz, I'm convinced things have gotten completely off track in regards to the Christmas season. I see lots of holiday “action,” with little or no holiday spirit out there. It misses the point completely. Its sad and more than a bit disconcerting. Its like giving somebody an ultra lousy birthday party, by doing everything completely opposite of their wishes. Do you think this is what Jesus of Nazareth had in mind when he said “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you (NIV)”? Doesn’t make sense does it? Yet, invariably from the end of November to the end of December it seems as if otherwise decent people embrace the foulest and lowest of behaviors; all to get the deal, get the gift and shove in line ahead of the other guy...for Christmas!!! It really baffles me. 

There have been people giving Christmas gifts for two thousand years and in some way shape or form, they will be presumably doing so for the rest of human history. Who do they think they are getting “ahead of” and how does that relate to the meaning of the holiday? I really don't think the three wise men raced each other to get “there” first, but what do I know. All I know is that it seems like a really crappy way to celebrate anything, let alone a birthday. And for the record, I do not hold the “organized churches” to blame here. There is something else that drives this schizophrenic social behavior and it/they may be found cowering around the feet of Charles Dickens' “Christmas Present” apparition (the story is as relevant today as it was when written). They are the twin specters of "want" and "ignorance" and they have been silently, yet virulently with us all these long centuries, since before any organized religion, before the Nazarene walked on earth and before Dickens' story. I believe, they are artifacts of our early evolution that have hung around like viral DNA and have found ways to undermine and ruin humanity's best attempts at civilization. We need an antidote for our own baser psychologies. “Want:” is anything we don’t have and believe will somehow make things “better,” or equal to someone, or something else. “What a crock! (thanks Three Men and a Baby).” “Ignorance:” she soothes the mind and tells us “it's okay, what you don't know can't hurt you.” But in fact ignorance is a congenital liar who cannot tell a truth. They are both vestigial functions that creeped into our brain structure, when we as a species, began to pull ourselves out of the mud. It is one thing to be motivated, we need that, but the stop switch isn't working yet. And, we can't process everything all the time, there is just too much, but a door to tightly shut keeps both light and sustenance out.

So, with that said, I can't say I have an answer. But, I suspect that author James Allen may have had at least a clue when he combed through history and said. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” So, where is the tranquility gene?

How will you “be calm” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - October 25, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 174 – October 25, 2011

Children are always the only future the human race has; teach them well.

~Unknown author

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream (we had a craving for an ice cream cone), my family and I witnessed something that caused all of us to stop in our tracks and me to have a flashback to my childhood.

My husband dropped my daughter and I off in front of the store, (he went to get gas, while we shopped) and before we got out of the car, we saw a mom and her two kids, a boy and a girl, at the entrance of the store. She was medium height, platinum blonde, dressed to the nines and drove an Escalade SUV. We saw the girl picking at the boy (we called this kid fun, all siblings pick on each other). Suddenly, what appeared to be a normal, fun loving moment between siblings erupted into a display of anger and aggression that took all around them by surprise, including us. It wasn't the children it was the mom, who turned and while digging her fingernails in the pre-teenage girl's arm, began yelling loudly at her child. She then threw the car keys at her and told her to go to the car. The young girl attempt to speak with the mom, but the mom would have none of it. She turned her back to her child and stomped away from her daughter. Her daughter was obviously crushed, beside herself and in tears. It was clearly apparent she did not want to go the car, but the woman and brother had already walked away from her; leaving her out in the cold, with strangers. The girl walked to the car, got in and started the car. We paused a while and waited to make sure the girl got into the car safely, then we went into the store.

My daughter ask me what would cause a mom to turn on her daughter so quickly and with such apparent distain? I told her, “Nothing. No mother should ever behave like that in public, or in private to their children. And to physically squeeze her; that is way out of line for any adult.” I continued to tell my daughter, “Children can misbehave, children can get on your nerves, but what we teach through our actions and our words is what the next generation will also do, better or worse. It's up to us!”

My husband and I had a conversation about this after the children had gone to bed and the thing that struck me the most was; did the mom have any idea what kind of impression she had just left her child with (of her) besides the fingernail marks. Not to mention the impression anyone else, who happened to be in the near proximity, got. These are the ghosts that float back to haunt us later in life. How many parents, when they are tired, or had a bad day at work, or are struggling with life's issues, take anger out on their children? My husband said it best, “Some parents do that, because kids can't fight back” and he's right, they can't... at that moment in time. Life goes on and those kids we supposedly raised and demonstrated anger toward, vented job and life frustrations on, become adults. They may have children of their own and will the message they learned in those traumatic and unrecoverable moments, be the same message they will send the grandchildren? And, will they crank it up a notch...that's human nature you know. What happens when these parents get too old to take care of themselves? Will their children take care of them, or will they dump them in a nursing home and never visit? Something to think about; the messages we send with our behavior.

I felt for this little girl, because many times my own mother (the woman who called herself my mom), did this to me. Public embarrassment was one of her favorite pass times, I can remember being slapped in the face at my uncle's funeral, because I was crying. Just because we carry the title mom or dad, doesn't give us the right to take our frustrations, sorrow or pain, out on our children. It's not their fault. And if you are in the habit of yelling at your child because that's how you do things, STOP NOW; before they yell back. Personal self-control is at the very core of every major religion and every major philosophical insight humanity has acquired over the past 3000 years. When will we begin to use in daily life (with the people we are supposed to value the most-our children), the simple wisdom of self-control? Remember, the examples we set today, determines the world we live with tomorrow.

Here is something I don't do very often, but it applies (reusing a movie quote). In the movie Mr. Mom, Caroline (played by Teri Garr) said to her husband Jack (Michael Keaton), "Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride."

What will you teach today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading.