Daily Mood Quotes
Day 174 – October 25, 2011
Children are always the only future the human race has; teach them well.
~Unknown author
Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream (we had a craving for an ice cream cone), my family and I witnessed something that caused all of us to stop in our tracks and me to have a flashback to my childhood.
My husband dropped my daughter and I off in front of the store, (he went to get gas, while we shopped) and before we got out of the car, we saw a mom and her two kids, a boy and a girl, at the entrance of the store. She was medium height, platinum blonde, dressed to the nines and drove an Escalade SUV. We saw the girl picking at the boy (we called this kid fun, all siblings pick on each other). Suddenly, what appeared to be a normal, fun loving moment between siblings erupted into a display of anger and aggression that took all around them by surprise, including us. It wasn't the children it was the mom, who turned and while digging her fingernails in the pre-teenage girl's arm, began yelling loudly at her child. She then threw the car keys at her and told her to go to the car. The young girl attempt to speak with the mom, but the mom would have none of it. She turned her back to her child and stomped away from her daughter. Her daughter was obviously crushed, beside herself and in tears. It was clearly apparent she did not want to go the car, but the woman and brother had already walked away from her; leaving her out in the cold, with strangers. The girl walked to the car, got in and started the car. We paused a while and waited to make sure the girl got into the car safely, then we went into the store.
My daughter ask me what would cause a mom to turn on her daughter so quickly and with such apparent distain? I told her, “Nothing. No mother should ever behave like that in public, or in private to their children. And to physically squeeze her; that is way out of line for any adult.” I continued to tell my daughter, “Children can misbehave, children can get on your nerves, but what we teach through our actions and our words is what the next generation will also do, better or worse. It's up to us!”
My husband and I had a conversation about this after the children had gone to bed and the thing that struck me the most was; did the mom have any idea what kind of impression she had just left her child with (of her) besides the fingernail marks. Not to mention the impression anyone else, who happened to be in the near proximity, got. These are the ghosts that float back to haunt us later in life. How many parents, when they are tired, or had a bad day at work, or are struggling with life's issues, take anger out on their children? My husband said it best, “Some parents do that, because kids can't fight back” and he's right, they can't... at that moment in time. Life goes on and those kids we supposedly raised and demonstrated anger toward, vented job and life frustrations on, become adults. They may have children of their own and will the message they learned in those traumatic and unrecoverable moments, be the same message they will send the grandchildren? And, will they crank it up a notch...that's human nature you know. What happens when these parents get too old to take care of themselves? Will their children take care of them, or will they dump them in a nursing home and never visit? Something to think about; the messages we send with our behavior.
I felt for this little girl, because many times my own mother (the woman who called herself my mom), did this to me. Public embarrassment was one of her favorite pass times, I can remember being slapped in the face at my uncle's funeral, because I was crying. Just because we carry the title mom or dad, doesn't give us the right to take our frustrations, sorrow or pain, out on our children. It's not their fault. And if you are in the habit of yelling at your child because that's how you do things, STOP NOW; before they yell back. Personal self-control is at the very core of every major religion and every major philosophical insight humanity has acquired over the past 3000 years. When will we begin to use in daily life (with the people we are supposed to value the most-our children), the simple wisdom of self-control? Remember, the examples we set today, determines the world we live with tomorrow.
Here is something I don't do very often, but it applies (reusing a movie quote). In the movie Mr. Mom, Caroline (played by Teri Garr) said to her husband Jack (Michael Keaton), "Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride."
What will you teach today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading.
