Daily Mood Quotes - October 20, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 170 – October 20, 2011

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.

~Colin Powell

I have a lot of respect for Colin Powell, I do not know him personally but his leadership skills have been demonstrated globally and he leads with integrity, respect and confidence. I agree with his quote. The minute, the second “soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you cease to be leader.” However, leadership isn't just for the military. Everyone has in some way, shape or form been a leader at one time in their life. Even children, in as simple of a setting as a elementary school classroom. I have been a parent for 26 years, and as much as we may try to deny it, parents are leaders everyday...

Recently, I was asked if I had any regrets being a stay-at-home mom for so many years, and without hesitation my response was a resounding, “no.” To push the envelope a little bit, she said to me, “but you could have had a great career, been respected, been rich, been a name? I look at her and said, “I have a great career, I'm a mom, I am respected, have you met my children?, I am rich, not with money, but with love and great relationships with my children, I don't have to guess, their favorite color, their favorite meal, their favorite book or television program...I know. I don't have to push them to talk, they come to me, and as far as being a name, what greater name is there in the world, than “mom or dad?”

In the movie Mr. Mom, Jack Butler (played by Michael Keaton), a laid-off (fired) automotive worker and his wife Caroline (Teri Garr), had an argument about his experience being a full-time stay-at-home dad for the first time, it went like this;

Jack Butler: My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

Caroline: Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself, alright?

Jack Butler: Well, if you're so unhappy, why don't you say something about it?

Caroline: Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride.

Caroline: I've pride in this house, I've pride with my kids, and I've pride being Mrs. Jack Butler!

Well, I'm not Mrs. Jack Butler, but the pride is the same. I have sacrificed many jobs and what would have been a great career because my children were my first priority. Yes, times have been hard, and instead of complaining about it, I used it as a teaching tool for handling money, following budgets, and teaching what the differences are between the “wants” and the “needs.” When ask why I choose parenting over a career, the answer was simple, you have a small amount of time to make a positive impact, be a positive influence, teach what is right and what is wrong, in your children's lives, and when that time is past, you can never get it back. Then peer pressure, television role models (Lindsay Lohan), and magazine models take over.

In less than a year I will graduate with a Master's Degree and in the last nearly six years, my children have watched me grow, change and demonstrate the benefits of a higher education. They have college on their radar. Parenting never ends, just the amount of time you spend doing the nuts and bolts of it. The maintenance is ongoing. I don't know if my education will win me a “prestigious” job after all of my children on their own, but as I look at my children and talk with them I realize that being a stay-at-home mom is a very prestigious job to start with. It was a good thing, no, it is a great thing.

Albert Schweitzer said it best, “Example is leadership.”

What example will you set today?

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Daily Mood Quote - July 6, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 63 – July 6, 2011

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”

~Dale Carnegie

I know people who believe that working 16 hour days, spending their lives in the car (driving from here to there) and packing their days full of busyness is living. They start their day with their feet hitting the ground hard and they begin running. Before they know it, they are in their 80's, wondering where the time went and what they did with their life. The kids are grown and they don't know them. Maybe they see them on holidays or birthdays, because the example that was set “ constant running: busyness” has now been foisted onto the next generation. Is this high price of keeping up with the Jones' and maintaining the image, worth it? There is a very foolish saying that I hear all too often. “There will be time to rest when you're dead.” How very sad. I'm sure it was made up by someone who was trying to get something for themselves, at the expense of others. Unfortunately, this myth has crept into our lives and pushed out the breathtaking moments, like a weed in the garden.

A century ago, working long days at physical jobs was the norm. But, that was when fathers worked at the mills and factories and the moms stayed home to raise the family. It wasn't really a choice, it was a necessity at the dawn of the industrial age. Now, it is a choice. We see it in cities, towns and suburbs. Another generation of people is so focused on the busyness of life, that they no longer live life. In the song, Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin, the dad calls the son and says “I'd like to see you if you don't mind” The son's reply, “I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time...” Too many are fooled into thinking the busier your life is, the more “stuff” you cram in, the better your life is. That couldn't be further from the truth. How many of us will have memories, 10, 20, 50 years from now of sitting in traffic trying to “get somewhere,” instead of enjoying the journey with those we love? We have become so enthralled with “going” somewhere and “doing” something, that we fail to pay attention to the “now.” So, what are you missing?

In the movie Hitch, Alex Hitchens (played by Will Smith) says, “Life is not the amounts of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.” How many of those breath taking moments are missed because we are so focused on going somewhere, doing something or being somebody? Peter Drucker, the management/leadership guru said, “One cannot buy, rent or hire more time. The supply of time is totally inelastic... Yet most people take for granted this unique, irreplaceable and necessary resource.” It's great to have plans for tomorrow, but in the today you will find the moments that can take you breath away. Time will not tarry. But, we do need to stop and appreciate moments in time.

What moment will “take your breath away” today.

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Daily Mood Quote - May 19, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 15 – May 19, 2011

“A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not.”

~ Unknown

I recently attended a school function that left me feeling... disappointed. My first interaction was listening to the coordinator of the event (and I use that term loosely) “tell”, not ask the teenagers who were manning the table to “Make sure you grab the money.” she also chastised the teens about the people who were already admitted and did not pay, who knew? This was a teacher sponsored event through the school (I think), that was poorly promoted and therefore no one knew it was a paid event. Many people walking in to support their children, or friends of their children, were taken by surprise at the cost. Even earlier conversations with the participants didn't reveal that there was a charge. They had received an information sheet about this event and even some of that information was incorrect. Yes, it was on a webpage, buried three miles deep, on an obscure sub-site, no one ever goes too. The main high school site carried no information about the event, or the cost, whatsoever. After leaving the event, my honest feelings regarding this, “Folks paid top dollar for a half-hearted effort” by the staff coordinators. It is sad that this has become acceptable, the kids deserve better.

My life lessons have arrived via multiple avenues. Such as accidental role models, an occasional good movie, or sometimes in a book. I like the ladder analogy, with every step comes experience, with every experience comes the lessons right, wrong and maybe I'll understand later. The point is that adults who have climbed that ladder need to pass along the good from each rung and discern what steps they should not let others take. Here's what the kids learned yesterday from their teacher sponsor. Don't be upfront about costs. Sloppy work is OK, because it's all about grabbing the money. And if a customer disagrees with you, get aggressive, defensive and argumentative. I can't see those as positive steps in those children's life ladder. Do you? Great job!!

Crosby Stills, Nash and Young sang “Teach your children well...” and in today's hyper-fast, slap-dash world, I see less and less of that. It seems as if we have forgotten the basic lessons that have carried humanity forward for the past two millennia. My husband chose to simply walk away and get some space, rather than engage in an argument with this teacher over something so trivial. Neither did he, or I accept, or capitulate to her belligerent attitude. Ladder lesson: You don’t have to accept substandard behavior, products, or services “just because”. In the end, my daughter who is a quick wit and shrewd negotiator, got us in at no charge, as she rapidly pointed out the errors and stood toe-to-toe in a positive manner with this person. Ladder lesson: Always stand up for what you know is right. Sometimes the ladder steps we occasionally forget are the ones our children use to teach us. I am very proud of her.

 

No movie quote today, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young said it best, “Teach your children well... and you of tender years... teach your parents well.”

 

What will you teach and what lessons will you learn today?

 

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