Daily Mood Quotes - October 20, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 170 – October 20, 2011

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.

~Colin Powell

I have a lot of respect for Colin Powell, I do not know him personally but his leadership skills have been demonstrated globally and he leads with integrity, respect and confidence. I agree with his quote. The minute, the second “soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you cease to be leader.” However, leadership isn't just for the military. Everyone has in some way, shape or form been a leader at one time in their life. Even children, in as simple of a setting as a elementary school classroom. I have been a parent for 26 years, and as much as we may try to deny it, parents are leaders everyday...

Recently, I was asked if I had any regrets being a stay-at-home mom for so many years, and without hesitation my response was a resounding, “no.” To push the envelope a little bit, she said to me, “but you could have had a great career, been respected, been rich, been a name? I look at her and said, “I have a great career, I'm a mom, I am respected, have you met my children?, I am rich, not with money, but with love and great relationships with my children, I don't have to guess, their favorite color, their favorite meal, their favorite book or television program...I know. I don't have to push them to talk, they come to me, and as far as being a name, what greater name is there in the world, than “mom or dad?”

In the movie Mr. Mom, Jack Butler (played by Michael Keaton), a laid-off (fired) automotive worker and his wife Caroline (Teri Garr), had an argument about his experience being a full-time stay-at-home dad for the first time, it went like this;

Jack Butler: My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

Caroline: Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself, alright?

Jack Butler: Well, if you're so unhappy, why don't you say something about it?

Caroline: Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride.

Caroline: I've pride in this house, I've pride with my kids, and I've pride being Mrs. Jack Butler!

Well, I'm not Mrs. Jack Butler, but the pride is the same. I have sacrificed many jobs and what would have been a great career because my children were my first priority. Yes, times have been hard, and instead of complaining about it, I used it as a teaching tool for handling money, following budgets, and teaching what the differences are between the “wants” and the “needs.” When ask why I choose parenting over a career, the answer was simple, you have a small amount of time to make a positive impact, be a positive influence, teach what is right and what is wrong, in your children's lives, and when that time is past, you can never get it back. Then peer pressure, television role models (Lindsay Lohan), and magazine models take over.

In less than a year I will graduate with a Master's Degree and in the last nearly six years, my children have watched me grow, change and demonstrate the benefits of a higher education. They have college on their radar. Parenting never ends, just the amount of time you spend doing the nuts and bolts of it. The maintenance is ongoing. I don't know if my education will win me a “prestigious” job after all of my children on their own, but as I look at my children and talk with them I realize that being a stay-at-home mom is a very prestigious job to start with. It was a good thing, no, it is a great thing.

Albert Schweitzer said it best, “Example is leadership.”

What example will you set today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading.

Daily Mood Quote - August 22, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 111 – August 22, 2011

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

~Alan Watts

Change is inevitable and when you are a student, parent, spouse and entrepreneur change is a must. I have to move the daily mood quotes blog posting, to later in the evening. It will still be my daily mood, that doesn't change and the format will continue to be the same. The only thing that will change is the time it is posted. Instead of by 7 a.m. PST, it will be by 7 p.m. PST. There will still be quotes, movie quotes and stories. The reason for the change is schedule. I simply cannot be in two places at one time. But that's a subject for another blog and another day.

Today, I want to talk about how we handle change, or not. Me, change means, first an anxiety attack, because it's not my nature to plunge right in. Simple and safe, that's me. I make lists, with a little flexibility built in, but “big sweeping change” always includes the initial anxiety attack followed quickly by mild panic and then a wide range of emotions. It's not that I fear change, I'm just not a big fan of it, I accept that “change happens.” It is the nature of all things.

In the movie Freaky Friday, Anna (played by Lindsay Lohan) and Tess (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) said simultaneously, “A journey soon begins...” my life's journey is constant change and as Gail Sheehy said, “If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow. We aren't really living.” And so, life is change. No surprise there, just like gravity, change is unavoidable and constantly pulling on you. Usually, its a gentle tug that helps us move from day-to-day and keeps pace with the cycles and the ups and downs of life. Bruce Barton said, “Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.” I'm not sure that fear comes from overconfidence, I think fear may be more rooted in self-doubt. But change does bring with it hope (notice a call back to last week's theme here?). Its kind of a package deal. Lets face it, if everything always remained the same; then we would be stuck with the less than happy parts of our lives. So, in comes change and with it the opportunity to make our life better and more rewarding. Change may scare us at first, (humans are generally creatures of habit - except for the intrepid few), but it also can be our liberator from the issues and problems that hold us back, stop our progress and pi%& us off. Okay change, lets see what you've got: I'm ready...I think, maybe.....Angst, angst, angst....

Will you join the dance of “change” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 73 – July 15, 2011

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.

~Mohandas Gandhi

In his first inaugural address in 1933, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...” In modern life that is very true. Too often in our 21st century lives, we can see where decisions made by fear, the unhealthy kind, have sometimes lead us into dark and untenable spots. If we would have taken the time to make more rational decisions, then more likely than not, those errors could have been avoided.

Fear had its place and it has helped the human race survive for millions of years in an environment where we weren't the top of the food chain. That's healthy fear: common sense in overdrive. But, now that we are and we dominate our planet, that same fear that causes the fight or flight response, knee jerk reactions and cold sweat anxiety, can do more harm than good. Fear comes in many forms. One of those forms of fear is fear of disapproval and punishment from figures of authority. Parents lead the list. I am all too familiar with this fear. I grew up in a fear driven environment that involved guessing which “mood” mom was in today. That usually lead to the question, “Do I stay, or do I go and should I go quickly?” Many years ago, a friend told me of the difficult time she was having raising her teenage daughter. There was a lot of yelling, power struggles and zero compromise. Kind of like Congress and the White House right now. Their not making good decisions either, but that's another blog's issue, not mine.

The point is, instead of the parent teaching, she attempted to control by fear and consequently obtained neither respect, nor control. The entire situation had a negative result that lead to unenforceable punishments, zero long term good and deep resentments that are still being felt today and will continue for many years to come. Hmmm, that still sounds like Congress (Did I say that out loud?).

We live by a more direct axiom. “When you raise your voice, you stop raising your child.” Believe it or not, kids, especially teenagers, don't react kindly to yelling or arbitrary punishments “Just because I said so!” When we lose it, "we the parents," are just begging for more difficult times. When we lose our self-control... that's exactly what we teach our children. It is right and appropriate to be concerned about your child's welfare. But, we need to examine our own "motivations" when dealing with our children. Sounds like something for the folks in Congress to consider, but I digress... Are we working from fear, or rational thinking?

In 1838, Abraham Lincoln said, “Passion has helped us, but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason, must furnish all the materials for our future support and defense.” I'm not so sure about the cold part, especially when dealing with children, but reason, tempered by love, should guide us when we are attempting to guide our children.

In the movie Freaky Friday, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Anna (Lindsay Lohan) read a fortune cookie that said, “A journey soon begins...Its prize reflected in the other's eyes. When what you see is what you lack...then selfless love will change you back.” It's amazing what you can learn when you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Maybe, Congress should walk a mile in the shoes of those who are unemployed, the poor, the homeless and maybe their “view from the cheap seats” might be very different (Thank you Michael Douglas from American President). When fear motivates a leader or someone in a leadership position, such as a parent or someone in a position of political power, bad things are bound to happen. When we choose to lead from love and compassion good things are bound to happen.

Which will you choose “love” or “punishment” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading