Daily Mood Quotes - November 25, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 205 – November 25, 2011

“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”

~Sam's Dad (Whip Hubley) from A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff.

The Cinderella story is as old as time itself and the message is more common than we know. But, it is more than just the stepmother with ugly daughters taking over. It can be family, friends, co-workers, anyone who has an inferiority complex (fears) and will do or say anything to keep you from the game. How do they do this? By attempting to instil fear, doubt and insecurities in the hope of their target becoming so discouraged with themselves, that they give in and do exactly what the bully wants. The victim either quits, or is made too afraid to step up the plate, because they don't want to strike out and fail.

How do I know this? Well its through tough life experience. I was raised by a woman (who claimed to be my mother), who did everything in her power to keep me from achieving in everything I tried. From achieving good grades in school (there was always a punishment if I got good grades), to high school color-guard/rifle corp (she made me quit), to finding the love of my life (her violent behavior caused a break up that lasted nine years). It seemed as if she was determined to take away all the things that brought me any happiness. When that didn't seem to work, she stepped it up with verbal abuse and then moved to public embarrassment. There just came a point when I began to count down the days to age 18... Freedom, or so I thought. So, enough about me.

In his book Attitude 101, John Maxwell points out some interesting stories of people who have succeeded in spite of striking out at the beginning. He noted, that in his first game as a major league player, Henry Aaron, the best home run hitter in baseball went 0 for 5, but he didn't quit. And, his career is an astounding success story. It's just that simple. Keep swinging and don't let failures get in the way. When Julia Child had a soufflé fall flat, she just smiled and said, “Well, you can't win them all. Bon Appetit!” and that's the way it is.

People, timing and circumstances have always and will always get in the way, at one level or another, of us achieving, and being the best we can possibly be. It can seem like an uphill battle, while dangling on a cliff face some days. My husband has an old story from his advertising agency days. One day he walked into his supervisor's office, and complained out loud (remember he was young and inexperienced) “these account exec are driving me “F'n” crazy!” At this point the sage old creative supervisor, who was half in the bag at the time (drunk), looked at him with blood-shot eyes and said, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” Hmmmm. The fact is being successful, achieving your best is not now, nor will it ever be “easy.” In our impatient, immediate gratification culture, people tend to forget that and when anything they try becomes difficult, they just give up and walk away. That's why we see so few who “make it” in any area of life, and so many who fall along the wayside, or those who ride on other's backs and somehow call that a success. Yet, they are also the ones who end up miserable, despite wealth and fame.

I believe most people don't understand what success is. John Maxwell defines it this way, “Success is...Knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” This is where most people fall down; they only seek to benefit themselves. Because that is what our sensationalistic, hyperbolic culture focuses on. The individual success and of course...the stuff. We so often forget “the benefit others” part of the definition in our daily lives.

Again from one of my favorite books, Worthy of Their Esteem by Ian C. Martin, a Lincoln quote comes to mind, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If success includes “benefiting others”, as Maxwell offers, then we must also bear that fact in mind as we seek to overcome the challenges in our lives. It may be just the “batting coach” we need. I'm going to continue swinging for the fences and I hope others will too, despite the road blocks that life may put in our way.

How will you ignore fear and “swing for the fences” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quotes

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Dailu Mood Quote - July 23, 2011

  

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 81 – July 23, 2011

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your eduction and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicious and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.”

~William J.H. Boetcker

This past week has been a week of extreme highs and extreme lows. These are not my favorite, because it feels like you are riding on a roller coaster. I enjoyed them as a child, but as an adult. Too many ups and downs. I know they call it life, but lets be pragmatic sometimes life's churnings can be painful.

We started the week excited, because my husband has been getting calls on his resume. Companies are interviewing him, finally. Me, not so much, my name has become synonymous with “that's the woman who wears two pair of glasses” (really it's a small town). Anyway, he had his interview and believed it went well. He answered all their questions honestly and showed he had the qualifications for the job. Then, “nothing,” no e-mail, no letter, no phone call, “Nothing” but dead air. My concern is, will the credit check he signed off on, that isn't supposed to be done until a job offer has been made, be the deciding factor here? Have they already taken that step? If so, then I guess it's over and that's why we haven't heard anything. I have been unemployed for two years, my husband a year. Our “credit score” has taken a hit, a big hit. Over the past three years we have had medical concerns, as serious as a ruptured appendix and subsequent hospitalization. So, whose credit score wouldn't look rough. Especially when the insurance only covered a small percent of the cost and then payed the hospital, etc. months and months later, After the hospital had already sent the account to collections, without us even knowing. It's hard to stay on top on things when you have to consider who to pay, “Peter or Paul?” I feel it is irresponsible of Human Resources personnel (I'll hold back on calling them professionals...just haven't seen that yet) and companies that allow this kind of discrimination to go on in the hiring process. Here's a thought guys, “Having a bad/rough credit score doesn't mean you are irresponsible, it means you are unemployed and could use the job!! Start looking at the facts and experience first... and be careful who and how you judge, because someday you too will be judged, I guarantee it...

Abraham Lincoln said in 1864 in a letter to Edwin Stanton, the Secretary of War, “On principle I dislike an oath which requires a man to swear he has not done wrong. It rejects the Christian principle of forgiveness on terms of repentance. I think it is enough if a man does no wrong hereafter.” Credit checks for jobs pre-condemn you, even if you have done no wrong to the people you are talking to. It's trial without jury and persecution without defense. Shame on all who practice this ethic-less and immoral behavior.

A very long time ago, when my son was a little boy, he asked me the question, “Why do some people not like other people they don't know?” My response to him was, “Because it is easier for people to pass judgment on others based on where they live, what they wear and other things, than it is to take the time to get to know someone. Some people find it easier to dislike people they don't know because it's easy. I call that lazy.” My son said, “But that's wrong” I said, “Yes it is, but that's the way people behave, you be different and set a better example.” He said, “I will mom, I will.” My son, today is an amazing young man and does set a better example. That makes me proud.

The fact is “nobody is perfect.” We all have things we'd rather forget, mistakes we have learned from and moved beyond. Every time someone carves into our past with a dull blade of a credit check, the wounds are reopened. It's hard to move forward when people and companies keep digging up the past and using it against you. I wonder when our country defaults on its bills (which seems as if it will happen), if that will go on the credit reports of all the Congressmen and Senators? By rights it should, because they are responsible for that bill. “Sorry Mr/Ms. Congressman, We can't hire you because your credit check shows you to be totally irresponsible to the tune of several trillion dollars” How fast would they move if they were being held financially accountable, instead of politically motivated? The point is; You can be completely irresponsible with someone else's money (witness the banking scandals, The Senate, Congress and even CEO's) and be completely free of consequence. But, make one mistake with your money, trust the wrong employer, or have a medical calamity befall your life and you are condemned to financial hell forever by the “credit check”. It seems a bit off bubble, now doesn't it? Like Randle McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) said in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, “Who's the head bull-goose loony around here?

Here's why this makes me think, the perfect credit score doesn't show, how many lies someone told, if they're a good neighbor, a good parent? Did they ever borrow something from someone and never return it, or return it broken. What about kindness? Have they ever stopped to help someone with a flat tire? The credit score also does not show how intelligent a person is or how hard they work. Yes, you may have a good “score”, but exist without morals, or know how to lie effectively. Look at many who have made the news this year, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, just to name a few because the list is long. Rocking credit scores? You Betcha! Morally bankrupt? The facts speak for themselves. Even Michael Vick, a very talented quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, went to jail and was given a second chance, because of his talent and celebrity and now is getting major endorsement from companies worth millions. Why can't your “Average Joe” get a fair shot at a second chance? Or your above average intelligent girl who wears two pair of glasses? I had to throw that in there.

Here is what I believe is the true measure of a person, kindness, honesty, being ethical, moral, being forthright, having your family priorities straight and never giving up. I respect the Philadelphia Eagles Organization and Coach Rex Ryan for having the courage to give someone a second chance and I respect Michael Vick for having the courage to work for that second chance. What a great example to follow.

What consideration and courage will you show today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote and learn the second “F”

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 73 – July 15, 2011

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.

~Mohandas Gandhi

In his first inaugural address in 1933, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...” In modern life that is very true. Too often in our 21st century lives, we can see where decisions made by fear, the unhealthy kind, have sometimes lead us into dark and untenable spots. If we would have taken the time to make more rational decisions, then more likely than not, those errors could have been avoided.

Fear had its place and it has helped the human race survive for millions of years in an environment where we weren't the top of the food chain. That's healthy fear: common sense in overdrive. But, now that we are and we dominate our planet, that same fear that causes the fight or flight response, knee jerk reactions and cold sweat anxiety, can do more harm than good. Fear comes in many forms. One of those forms of fear is fear of disapproval and punishment from figures of authority. Parents lead the list. I am all too familiar with this fear. I grew up in a fear driven environment that involved guessing which “mood” mom was in today. That usually lead to the question, “Do I stay, or do I go and should I go quickly?” Many years ago, a friend told me of the difficult time she was having raising her teenage daughter. There was a lot of yelling, power struggles and zero compromise. Kind of like Congress and the White House right now. Their not making good decisions either, but that's another blog's issue, not mine.

The point is, instead of the parent teaching, she attempted to control by fear and consequently obtained neither respect, nor control. The entire situation had a negative result that lead to unenforceable punishments, zero long term good and deep resentments that are still being felt today and will continue for many years to come. Hmmm, that still sounds like Congress (Did I say that out loud?).

We live by a more direct axiom. “When you raise your voice, you stop raising your child.” Believe it or not, kids, especially teenagers, don't react kindly to yelling or arbitrary punishments “Just because I said so!” When we lose it, "we the parents," are just begging for more difficult times. When we lose our self-control... that's exactly what we teach our children. It is right and appropriate to be concerned about your child's welfare. But, we need to examine our own "motivations" when dealing with our children. Sounds like something for the folks in Congress to consider, but I digress... Are we working from fear, or rational thinking?

In 1838, Abraham Lincoln said, “Passion has helped us, but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason, must furnish all the materials for our future support and defense.” I'm not so sure about the cold part, especially when dealing with children, but reason, tempered by love, should guide us when we are attempting to guide our children.

In the movie Freaky Friday, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Anna (Lindsay Lohan) read a fortune cookie that said, “A journey soon begins...Its prize reflected in the other's eyes. When what you see is what you lack...then selfless love will change you back.” It's amazing what you can learn when you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Maybe, Congress should walk a mile in the shoes of those who are unemployed, the poor, the homeless and maybe their “view from the cheap seats” might be very different (Thank you Michael Douglas from American President). When fear motivates a leader or someone in a leadership position, such as a parent or someone in a position of political power, bad things are bound to happen. When we choose to lead from love and compassion good things are bound to happen.

Which will you choose “love” or “punishment” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading