Day 205 – November 25, 2011
“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”
~Sam's Dad (Whip Hubley) from A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff.
The Cinderella story is as old as time itself and the message is more common than we know. But, it is more than just the stepmother with ugly daughters taking over. It can be family, friends, co-workers, anyone who has an inferiority complex (fears) and will do or say anything to keep you from the game. How do they do this? By attempting to instil fear, doubt and insecurities in the hope of their target becoming so discouraged with themselves, that they give in and do exactly what the bully wants. The victim either quits, or is made too afraid to step up the plate, because they don't want to strike out and fail.
How do I know this? Well its through tough life experience. I was raised by a woman (who claimed to be my mother), who did everything in her power to keep me from achieving in everything I tried. From achieving good grades in school (there was always a punishment if I got good grades), to high school color-guard/rifle corp (she made me quit), to finding the love of my life (her violent behavior caused a break up that lasted nine years). It seemed as if she was determined to take away all the things that brought me any happiness. When that didn't seem to work, she stepped it up with verbal abuse and then moved to public embarrassment. There just came a point when I began to count down the days to age 18... Freedom, or so I thought. So, enough about me.
In his book Attitude 101, John Maxwell points out some interesting stories of people who have succeeded in spite of striking out at the beginning. He noted, that in his first game as a major league player, Henry Aaron, the best home run hitter in baseball went 0 for 5, but he didn't quit. And, his career is an astounding success story. It's just that simple. Keep swinging and don't let failures get in the way. When Julia Child had a soufflé fall flat, she just smiled and said, “Well, you can't win them all. Bon Appetit!” and that's the way it is.
People, timing and circumstances have always and will always get in the way, at one level or another, of us achieving, and being the best we can possibly be. It can seem like an uphill battle, while dangling on a cliff face some days. My husband has an old story from his advertising agency days. One day he walked into his supervisor's office, and complained out loud (remember he was young and inexperienced) “these account exec are driving me “F'n” crazy!” At this point the sage old creative supervisor, who was half in the bag at the time (drunk), looked at him with blood-shot eyes and said, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” Hmmmm. The fact is being successful, achieving your best is not now, nor will it ever be “easy.” In our impatient, immediate gratification culture, people tend to forget that and when anything they try becomes difficult, they just give up and walk away. That's why we see so few who “make it” in any area of life, and so many who fall along the wayside, or those who ride on other's backs and somehow call that a success. Yet, they are also the ones who end up miserable, despite wealth and fame.
I believe most people don't understand what success is. John Maxwell defines it this way, “Success is...Knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” This is where most people fall down; they only seek to benefit themselves. Because that is what our sensationalistic, hyperbolic culture focuses on. The individual success and of course...the stuff. We so often forget “the benefit others” part of the definition in our daily lives.
Again from one of my favorite books, Worthy of Their Esteem by Ian C. Martin, a Lincoln quote comes to mind, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If success includes “benefiting others”, as Maxwell offers, then we must also bear that fact in mind as we seek to overcome the challenges in our lives. It may be just the “batting coach” we need. I'm going to continue swinging for the fences and I hope others will too, despite the road blocks that life may put in our way.
How will you ignore fear and “swing for the fences” today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quotes
Thank you for reading
