Daily Mood Quote - January 6, 2012

Daily Mood Quote

Day 232 – January 6, 2012

All men commend patience, although few are willing to practice it.

~Thomas Kempis

I have been a mom, a “parent” for 27 years and one thing that has changed in me for the better is my level of patience. Granted, it took the reading of many books on parenting, patience, motivation etc... to get here, but I did. Okay, there are some days (menopause related) where my patience, or lack there of can be embarrassing. We all have them, but it's when we exhibit impatience on a regular basis that can land us in trouble. As my husband would say, “on average you've become a really patient person.” Let me explain: In the world I grew up in, my family wasn't really known for their patience. Instant gratification, rage and anger was usually how things were handled, with the notable exception of my father (I'll circle back to him later). It was like living with a welfare version of a daily soap opera. Everything was a drama, every problem was somebody else's fault and everything must have been some kind of conspiracy. All of which was of course balderdash and really quite exhausting.

As I grew, I watched how this lifestyle generated far more problems than it ever solved and so I decided that I would not be like that. It was a conscious decision turned into an emotion driven cause. Twenty eight years ago, when I realized that I would soon be having a child, I furthered that cause by reading everything I could on being a parent. And wonder of wonder, they all said basically the same thing, love, patience and consistency. Okay, that's an area where aside from my Navy job, I had zero experience. I had to learn and apply a whole new set of skills, they are still a work in progress. I think patience is a lifetime learning curve and no matter who you are, its something that must be consciously applied daily to take root and grow. Some people, like my father, whom my husband says is “the most patient man he ever met,” start with a bit more patience. If you knew my mother, you would understand. They have a natural gift of letting life’s issues roll off them like water off a duck's back. That gift of natural patience however, is not given to all and the rest of us have to consciously apply the brakes, when life gets rolling. That's me.

In the instant gratification and hurry up world of today, patience seems to be becoming something of a lost art. But, it is necessary to really gain, or develop anything of true and lasting value. The old saying goes, “Rome wasn't built in a day” may be a bit understated. It is still being built and rebuilt some 2,700 years after things started coming together on the isthmus. That is real patience and it's something we need to remember to employ as we forge ahead into the future. The internet, for better or worse, has made an unbelievable amount of information, some true and a surprising amount of random fiction, available to everyone, all the time. Digital communities spring to life in days and sometime hours, but they lack the foundations that true communities need. The shared effort and sacrifice over time is the glue that bind communities and cultures together for the long haul. The children of the digital age lack that kind of perspective and I fear that they will not have the staying power, the patience, to make real and lasting positive change, or decisions as history unfolds. I hope I'm wrong here, only time (no matter if you believe in the concept or not) will tell.

The point is, I believe, that like anything of real and lasting value, patience and its rewards are earned not given and impatience is usually rewarded with things going astray. I have seen on the news case after case of everything from auto wrecks to CEOs and NFL coaches and managers being kicked to the curb (even if they were doing a good job and the right thing), due to lack of patience in our society. This trend “can only lead to tears” (thanks Bartok the bat from the movie Anastasia). The zero to hero back to zero curve has gotten too short for real positive and lasting change to take hold. The same is true in our political arena, where presidents are judged on whether they can solve decades old social and political issues in the first two years of their administrations. As they say on the ESPN Monday Night Live, NFL football show... “C'mon man!” Lack of patience is a key component in allowing those issues to continue, as we continually play musical chairs with the people at the top, while leaving the same old perpetuators, or should I say perpetrators, in the House and Senate, because we are too impatient to do some research and choose our candidates based on that; instead of name recognition and some vague promise to “make things better.” For them maybe, but really not for the people who were foolish enough to just push button “A” because its there.

No patience equals no reward. That's just the way it is. There is so much more to say about patience, but like life and patience itself, it will have to come in time.

How will you build patience today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Dailu Mood Quote - July 23, 2011

  

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 81 – July 23, 2011

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your eduction and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicious and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.”

~William J.H. Boetcker

This past week has been a week of extreme highs and extreme lows. These are not my favorite, because it feels like you are riding on a roller coaster. I enjoyed them as a child, but as an adult. Too many ups and downs. I know they call it life, but lets be pragmatic sometimes life's churnings can be painful.

We started the week excited, because my husband has been getting calls on his resume. Companies are interviewing him, finally. Me, not so much, my name has become synonymous with “that's the woman who wears two pair of glasses” (really it's a small town). Anyway, he had his interview and believed it went well. He answered all their questions honestly and showed he had the qualifications for the job. Then, “nothing,” no e-mail, no letter, no phone call, “Nothing” but dead air. My concern is, will the credit check he signed off on, that isn't supposed to be done until a job offer has been made, be the deciding factor here? Have they already taken that step? If so, then I guess it's over and that's why we haven't heard anything. I have been unemployed for two years, my husband a year. Our “credit score” has taken a hit, a big hit. Over the past three years we have had medical concerns, as serious as a ruptured appendix and subsequent hospitalization. So, whose credit score wouldn't look rough. Especially when the insurance only covered a small percent of the cost and then payed the hospital, etc. months and months later, After the hospital had already sent the account to collections, without us even knowing. It's hard to stay on top on things when you have to consider who to pay, “Peter or Paul?” I feel it is irresponsible of Human Resources personnel (I'll hold back on calling them professionals...just haven't seen that yet) and companies that allow this kind of discrimination to go on in the hiring process. Here's a thought guys, “Having a bad/rough credit score doesn't mean you are irresponsible, it means you are unemployed and could use the job!! Start looking at the facts and experience first... and be careful who and how you judge, because someday you too will be judged, I guarantee it...

Abraham Lincoln said in 1864 in a letter to Edwin Stanton, the Secretary of War, “On principle I dislike an oath which requires a man to swear he has not done wrong. It rejects the Christian principle of forgiveness on terms of repentance. I think it is enough if a man does no wrong hereafter.” Credit checks for jobs pre-condemn you, even if you have done no wrong to the people you are talking to. It's trial without jury and persecution without defense. Shame on all who practice this ethic-less and immoral behavior.

A very long time ago, when my son was a little boy, he asked me the question, “Why do some people not like other people they don't know?” My response to him was, “Because it is easier for people to pass judgment on others based on where they live, what they wear and other things, than it is to take the time to get to know someone. Some people find it easier to dislike people they don't know because it's easy. I call that lazy.” My son said, “But that's wrong” I said, “Yes it is, but that's the way people behave, you be different and set a better example.” He said, “I will mom, I will.” My son, today is an amazing young man and does set a better example. That makes me proud.

The fact is “nobody is perfect.” We all have things we'd rather forget, mistakes we have learned from and moved beyond. Every time someone carves into our past with a dull blade of a credit check, the wounds are reopened. It's hard to move forward when people and companies keep digging up the past and using it against you. I wonder when our country defaults on its bills (which seems as if it will happen), if that will go on the credit reports of all the Congressmen and Senators? By rights it should, because they are responsible for that bill. “Sorry Mr/Ms. Congressman, We can't hire you because your credit check shows you to be totally irresponsible to the tune of several trillion dollars” How fast would they move if they were being held financially accountable, instead of politically motivated? The point is; You can be completely irresponsible with someone else's money (witness the banking scandals, The Senate, Congress and even CEO's) and be completely free of consequence. But, make one mistake with your money, trust the wrong employer, or have a medical calamity befall your life and you are condemned to financial hell forever by the “credit check”. It seems a bit off bubble, now doesn't it? Like Randle McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) said in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, “Who's the head bull-goose loony around here?

Here's why this makes me think, the perfect credit score doesn't show, how many lies someone told, if they're a good neighbor, a good parent? Did they ever borrow something from someone and never return it, or return it broken. What about kindness? Have they ever stopped to help someone with a flat tire? The credit score also does not show how intelligent a person is or how hard they work. Yes, you may have a good “score”, but exist without morals, or know how to lie effectively. Look at many who have made the news this year, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, just to name a few because the list is long. Rocking credit scores? You Betcha! Morally bankrupt? The facts speak for themselves. Even Michael Vick, a very talented quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, went to jail and was given a second chance, because of his talent and celebrity and now is getting major endorsement from companies worth millions. Why can't your “Average Joe” get a fair shot at a second chance? Or your above average intelligent girl who wears two pair of glasses? I had to throw that in there.

Here is what I believe is the true measure of a person, kindness, honesty, being ethical, moral, being forthright, having your family priorities straight and never giving up. I respect the Philadelphia Eagles Organization and Coach Rex Ryan for having the courage to give someone a second chance and I respect Michael Vick for having the courage to work for that second chance. What a great example to follow.

What consideration and courage will you show today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote and learn the second “F”

Thank you for reading