Daily Mood Quotes - January 7, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 233 – January 7, 2012

In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.

~Albert Einstein

Holy crap!! Yesterday is a day I choose not to relive...ever. But, I have to revisit it, at least in part, to understand it. First, my husband and I got an e-mail from an educator informing us about an event that will be occurring at school next week. The event involves a statewide exam and the school's computer systems. The administrators want to test the school's computer servers, so they intend to have all the kids take an online test at the same time (not the actual test) to see if the computer system will crash. Understandable, they are being proactive instead of reactive. That's new and different. We were sent the e-mail because our child requires assistance when taking tests due to a reading difficulty and during the test of the servers, she will not be receiving any help. They told us so we wouldn't be alarmed. Okay fine, I appreciate the heads up. Here's the problem; they are going to lie to the kids, so that they will try their best on the “fake” state wide exam. I wanted to say WHAT THE @#$%!, but instead I will simply ask, “are you kidding me?” The school kids have been taking these tests since the third grade and know what time of year they take this particular test. First, they are several months early for this exam, the kids know this. Children are not stupid, contrary to adults/educators apparent beliefs. Also, if it's a statewide event I promise you, it will get out online and the facts will spread like wildfire. Questions will be raised, if not by the kids then by their parents and trust me when I tell you this, if you lie to the kids and they find out… and they will find out because the truth always comes out, trust will disappear like smoke in a hurricane. Not just the kids trust, but their parents as well. Its a really, really, bad idea...who thinks this crap up? I almost couldn't believe the depths of deception to which they plan to stoop to, just to test a system. To invite more problems in, is in my eyes foolish and patently ill conceived. The treatment is worse than the disease here. But that's the way things seem to be here. Do it the hardest and least efficient way possible and then have to patch it up later.

Why not just tell the children the truth? Why not use this situation as an opportunity for a technology teaching tool? Our state is pushing for a tech savvy work force anyway. It's almost a no brainer, but then.... Since technology is here to stay, teach some to them, by telling them the truth about what is being done. Maybe, it will spark some interest. They can also tell them about the wonderful opportunity this is to review the test format and/or discover what they know and the types of information they don't know, before the actual test. Seriously, what is so freakin' hard about telling the truth? Can't we set a better example for the younger generation? I get so frustrated when I know adults, who should know better, go out of there way and plan to lie to kids. They are people not cattle. No wonder trust and honesty are a rare find in the world. They're teaching distrust and dishonesty right in the school system! Why not just have a class, Lying 101, or for the more advance students Prevarication: Practical uses and applications?

After a lengthy discussion about this issue, my husband and I sent an e-mail to the school administrators informing them that we will not lie to our child about this test. We also told them this was a very bad idea. We also suggested the solution outlined above to the administration. To paraphrase a current GEICO commercial “I don't get it, such a simple word; truth.” It seems the more basic the concept, the harder it is for people to get it, to understand it. It seems as if the more complex and convoluted the concept, the more people will make an effort to understand it. But, if it is plain and obvious like truth and honesty, people ignore it or fail to grasp its value; even if it is in their best interest to pay attention. I suppose that some people only place value on that which takes up the most time and energy, while the really basic stuff that we should be appreciating is passed by. We can always circle back to truth if we need too, right? To quote Gilbert Huph (played by Wallace Shawn) to Bob (Mr. Incredible played by Craig T. Nelson) from the Disney animated movie The Incredibles, “I'm not happy Bob, not happy at all.” Is it the need to get away with something? I really have deep questions and concerns about the intent and quality of the American K-12 education system, if this is any indication of how administrators in these institutions think. It's a small wonder we are being passed by in education by other countries.

In the movie The Breakfast Club, Brain Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez), Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), John Bender (Judd Nelson), said in their report to the Vice Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason) as a group,

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...

Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...

Claire Standish: ...a princess...

John Bender: ...and a criminal...

Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

In my opinion, I think educators and administrators are failing to see the kids as individuals with brains, dignity, self-respect and worthy of honesty and trust. How you treat them is how they are going to act. Have we forgotten who the role model is here? I hope they stop looking at kids as an element of “the job,” children are the job and the reason they have a job.

The rest of the day spiraled downward from there, not a good one but stories for another day; today will be better.

What example will you set today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - November 11, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 191 – November 11, 2011

“No one else can ever make you choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.”

~Dr. Shad Helmstetter (from the book “Choices”)

Sometimes, we don't think about the myriad of choices we make everyday. I know I don't. Somethings we do are routine, choices we made that became daily routines, removing the element of making a decision. Some good examples; getting out of bed in the morning, we don't "have" to do this, but we do because it involves getting the family moving for the day, going to work, and living life. Imagine removing that from routine to choice. Now you are facing the consequences of not getting out of bed, the family either not moving or running late, not going to work and missing out on all the connections you would have made that day. I guess what I'm saying is that decisions/choices are a form of responsibility and not making them leads to consequences.

When my children where little, about age 2, my husband and I began teaching them how to make choices and to understand that their choices had consequences, or rewards. Granted at age 2, the choices were simple. The choices were; this cereal or that, which stuffed animal to take, etc. Small things in baby steps. But as the children aged a bit, the choices began to take a more visible turn. My youngest daughter has a style all her own. She is a gift, but when we were teaching her to dress herself, color coordination seemed to elude her. We believed that she was convinced; "the more colors the better." Most days she looked like a walking crayon box; a lovable, stubborn crayon box. But it was her choice to make some decisions and what could be more basic than attire? This went on well into her third year of school. I smiled, cringed and let her find her own style, because to take away her choice would have meant; first a battle of wills (she is a very strong willed child) and secondly asking her to be less than who she was. To conform or blend in, in an effort to keep from embarrassing who exactly? This I believed simply was not appropriate and I couldn't do that to her. This was her choice, not mine. I am certain that in order to find oneself and understand who you are early, you need to go through this phase of life. Make the silly choices and the minor mistakes while you are young and the consequences are little more that a few giggles and a joke or two. Because, if you can learn from the little mistakes and erroneous choices as a child, when you become an adult you know better how to evaluate your choices and make better ones.

But, children have to be given the opportunities to figure these things out for themselves. Parents too often take away those choices and that choice can have dire consequence in the future. Parents obsessed with the perfect family image, or preventing little Jack or Jill from getting their feelings hurt, snatch away those crucial opportunities for their children to learn to decide on their own, who they are and what they stand for. I have seen far too many people out there in the “big world” who have had all the decisions made for them early in life and subsequently are not able to make a good one, when it's there time up at bat and mom and dad are not there to tell them what to do. This usually goes one of two ways. First, the child can't make a good decision and relies on other peoples decisions based on other people's agendas to run their life. These are the “blind followers” of the world. The co-dependents lost and lonely. They are the people who vote party or name recognition, not platform or policy. We all know how that one ends up. “Not happy Bob, not happy at all...” (Thank you to Disney's The Incredibles). Or, they get fed up, rebel and go out of their way to make everyone around them pay for not having a little freedom to learn from mistakes early in life. They can do so subtly, by ignoring their family and making sure that no matter where they go, or what they do, their disdain for mom and dad is widely understood. This usually begins in the teen years. They spread their misery far and wide because they can and also begin to disdain authority and the law just for spite. They often pay a high price for their new decisions. Not at all what mom and dad were hoping for. Or even better, they live on mom and dad's sofa at 35, or in the basement, now a “command center” as described by Freddie “Warlock” Kaludis (played by Kevin Smith) to John McClane (played by Bruce Willis), in Live Free or Diehard.

Well after all that, I can tell you I came from a very controlling home environment, and when I questioned it or made a choice of my own, there was a very high consequence to pay. No lesson to grow from, just consequence. Sadly, the environment I lived in was not a teaching one. Consequently, I have made mistakes as an adult; some have taught me very valuable lessons and others have simply cost me dearly. The point is, I may have learned something as a child that could of benefited me as an adult; if only the opportunity to make those kind of little choices early, would have been there. What life lessons would they have taught? The next generation, in my opinion, is our most important task. If we fail to let them try, fail and learn today, we have no one to blame for their failures tomorrow, but ourselves. Dr. Shad Helmstetter also said, “There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count.”

How will you view your "choices" today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - October 8, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 158 – October 8, 2011

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

~Steve Jobs

When I heard this the other day on the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley, my first thought was “a truer statement has never been spoken.” Many of us, myself included have listened to the voices around us, telling us what we should be doing with our lives. Some succeed and some fail. My husband and I have always told our children, “Do what you love and the money will come.” Because, we have seen what happens to people when they don't follow their true passion in life. They are unhappy, misguided and they feel trapped in the never ending cycles of life. All because someone else's opinion took away their dreams and goals.

Mr. Jobs was right, it's all noise and the only voice we should be paying any attention to is the inner voice. Our guidance system. On a Disney glass I bought one of my children many years ago, it reads “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” and someone once told me, “If you can think of it, you can achieve it.” So, why do we let other's have that say? Do other's know us better, do parents know their children better than they know themselves? How many of us bother to ask our children about their dreams, or what their thinking about? More importantly, how many of us assume we know what is best for our children? Especially, when they become teenagers, and adults. The world is changing faster than ever before and what use to be a “solid” career may no longer exist when our children grow up. Mr. Jobs mother wanted him to be adopted by college graduates, so he would have a college education. He dropped out of college to pursue his passion and look at what he achieved. Lets be honest Steve Jobs was an exception and not the rule, education can be very important and useful, but the basic premise applies. The inner voice... Study what you love and wish to spend a lifetime learning.

In the movie Fields of Dreams, The voice (spoken by Lee Garlington) said, “If you build it, he will come.” My question is, if we don't listen, what are we missing out on? Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) said, “I'm 36 years old, I love my family, I love baseball and I'm about to become a farmer. But until I heard the voice, I'd never done a crazy thing in my whole life.” We don't know when, we don't know where and we don't know how our inner voice will let us know what we should be doing, but if we don't pay attention, then we miss the chance to be our “first best” selves.

What dreams will you follow today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - October 1, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 151 – October 1, 2011

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I'm sure that's true, but they aren't willing to make healing a high priority. They aren't willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.

~Lindsay Wagner

Saw the doctor the other day under great protest and to my chagrin it was confirmed that I have a sinus infection. I have since discovered that if you let these go on for very long, it can lead to much bigger problems... I didn't know that. This situation all stemmed from a small cold I had two weeks ago. I got rid of the cold, or so I thought and never even considered that things could “evolve.” I now know why my face has been hurting me so much (let's look past the old “my face hurts” joke here please). I also talked with the doctor about those “irrational fears” I mentioned in the blog – day 149. What I found out was very interesting. My irrational fear of going to the doctor is due to (believe it or not) post traumatic stress syndrome, yes PTSS. I assumed that PTSS was only something members of the military dealt with after combat. My doctor reminded me, I had gone through a very traumatic event in my life and that can cause PTSS. I never made the connection. Here's what happened.

Several years ago, the second Friday in February I wasn't feeling well, so after work I went to one of those “doc in the boxes” to get checked out. It was late and my regular doctor's office was closed for the day. They told me, I had the flu, not much to do but ride it out and sent me on my merry way. Okay, it was more like queasy way, but it did feel pretty flu like. The following Friday, exactly one week later, I still wasn't feeling well and went back to the “doc in the box” and they told me, I had a kidney infection, gave me an antibiotic prescription and sent me on my merry way; again. I began to feel better for a few days, but by the next Friday, I was feeling worse and Saturday morning, my husband took me to the “doc in the box” again (you would think I would of gone to my regular doctor by now, but I'm nothing if not stubborn). I think it was because of the cost of the visit, a mistake I will not ever make again. This time after seeing me for three weeks in a row, they took x-rays, both vertical and horizontal, this time they said I was constipated. They gave me some suppositories and some clear oily stuff to drink and sent us on are merry way, “again.” I couldn't even stand up straight and looked liked the “Hunchback of Notre Dame” (Thank you Disney) when I walked. Well, that didn't work at all. Like Captain Carmine Lorenzo (played by Dennis Franz) said to John McClane (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard II, “Well I'm stunned, I've gotta lie down.” Really, I did! Twelve hours later, I was in the emergency room (ER) being prepped for surgery, my appendix had ruptured and the doctor was preparing my husband and I for the worst, yes “that” worst. It was pretty bad.

The next afternoon, a few hours after the surgery (it was apparently a long, long procedure), the doctor came in to talk with me. His opening statement was, “Someone up there likes you.” I wasn't even sure what happened, until he starting explaining what they had to do and how serious the situation really was. I wish he wouldn't have done that, because I may have gotten past it by now. His description of what had happened and what was required to save my life was soooo very graphic; I really wasn't quite ready to hear what I heard. Great surgeon no doubt, but he could work on the bedside manner I think. Unfortunately, there it is right in front of me and now I had to deal with it. I tried to put it to the side during my month long recovery period. Then again I tried to avoid the impact when I went back to work. I tried to bury it, by keeping myself so busy in life with family, friends, school studies (I was in my final year of college) and marriage. Whatever I could do to “not deal with it”, I was doing it. That was to no avail, traumatic events have a way a creeping back into your life when you least expect it. And they do so at the most inconvenient times. The irrational fear to see the doctor comes from the three major mistakes. Three different doctors who were on duty, in the “doc in the box” all missed something as simple as appendicitis, It doesn't inspire confidence at all. They even took x-rays...how do you miss an appendix the size of a soft ball? Now, I have a lifetime reminder every time I see the six inch scar and I will hear that graphic description.

You know what I just realized? this blog is getting a little long, I will finish this story, part two with the doctor's recommendation tomorrow (I need to read up a little more on post traumatic stress syndrome).

How will you "deal with" the events of life today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading.

Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 79 – July 21, 2011

One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.

~Maya Angelou

She is right, we are all born with tremendous potential. Maybe not to be a superstar at athletics or world class performers, but all of us are born with the great potential to reach out to our fellow man or woman. To care for someone in need. As we discussed yesterday, its not the grand gestures, but the small things; holding a door for someone with their arms full of books, picking up a product knocked to the floor in a grocery store to clear the path, or bowing our heads to say thanks for a meal while we are in public. They seem small but in a judgmental world they can take courage. We all can do that, but seldom do because of trepidation about appearances. In short, we lack courage. Some worry about their intentions being misconstrued. Many worry about political correctness, or other foolish social fabrications along with worrying that they will be taken advantage of. This is not a new trend, this has been around as long as mankind. There are those who help pull a community together, sometimes through simple acts. And there are those who could not care less, or appear to not care less, but are actually afraid of what others might think. My question today is, how can an act of kindness, however small, be anything but an act of kindness, regardless of others perceptions. And, how can you expect others to be kind to you, if you are at first not kind to them? Admittedly, it can take practice, especially if you have never reached out. Sometimes, it doesn't seem to go the way you planned, that's okay, it takes practice. But, with conviction and courage good things do eventually happen. Kindness and generosity are the great boomerangs of the universe. You have to first throw it out there for it to come back to you. As with real boomerangs that can take some practice.

I live in a neighborhood, a community where reaching out is only done through organizations and church drives. Around here doors are shut and blinds are drawn most of the time and when one neighbor is outside, then the others seem to be in. I haven't figured out why that is yet.There just isn't a one-to-one connection with your next door neighbor, except for the occasional wave from someone whose name you don't even know. A couple winters ago, we had a particularly heavy snow fall in our area. My husband and I are accustomed to heavy snow fall (Thank you Minnesota), so we decided to shovel our neighbors driveways while we were out. Besides, we had a snow-thrower to make short work of it and we were having fun outside in the winter air.  I will never forget the look of "shock" we received from our neighbors, as they peered out their windows. One elderly lady even ran out, told us we didn't need to do that and asked if she needed to pay us? Apparently, this has never happened around here before. How sad it was to discover we were part of a community that had never helped each other. What is even sadder is that this “suburban isolation” is normal behavior in our region. I guess the fear of being sued (don't get me started on that) has taken such a hold it stops people from being kind, merciful, generous inside their own communities. We live in a “What's their angle?” and fearful world, even in our own neighborhoods and homes. So understandably it takes courage to look past that mindset and reach out even a little for most people. Initially we helped out of blissful ignorance. Now it's purposeful. Changing a mindset of a community takes courage and is done in small bits and pieces. Grand gestures won't get it done. Consistently throwing kindness out there will in time, bring it back. I am happy to say that we now know many of our neighbors on a first name basis and have been there to share their joys and sorrows. We have helped them and they have helped us. Our community is a little closer now.

In the Disney movie A Bugs Life an oddball ant named Flik (Dave Foley) wants to help his community, not in the traditional way, but by invention and innovation. Initially, his efforts make him a pariah... It's just not done in the colony! But as he explains to Dot (Hayden Panettiere). “Seed to tree. You've gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that's just because, well, you're not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You're still a seed.” Communities, like great trees, grow from the small seeds of kind acts, cast forth into the wind. Eventually they will take root and yield their own fruit for all to share.

What “courage” will you find and share today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - June 5, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 32 – June 5, 2011

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and the voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh

In my lifetime the words “you cannot” have been said to me often. First, and most impactfully by my mother, every time I wanted to try something new. I, like many, had most of my youth packed with “you can't do that” memories. I remember, once as a young adult in boot camp I was struggling to make the one mile run. It was required to pass the physical education section to graduate. So, I called home looking for support. What was I thinking? I suppose I was seeking approval and once again, I got “you can't”... pass the run.” I have really never believed that quitting was a valid option. So, when my mother said that, something in me changed. Something told me that I didn't believe in “cannot” anymore. The voice that had for so long said “you cannot”, changed to one that boldly stated “Yes, you can!” In that moment determination was born and I grew up.

The next day, I passed the one mile run to graduate and shared my tears of joy and pain with many of my fellow enlistees (turns out I ran with torn ligaments in my ankles). Unfortunately, I did not graduate with them, because I failed the final written exam (I worked to hard to pass the run and not hard enough to pass the written test). However, I was given a second chance to pass the test and graduated a week later. Determination...

Life doesn't always hand things out like coupons at a kiosk and if you want them... A career, a friendship, pretty much anything that holds significance, you often have to develop the determination to mentally push past the negative voice and sometimes the pain, that says you cannot and find the “Yes you can!” that lies within.

Today's quote From Vincent Van Gogh talks about painting, but I think inside everyone one of us lies that subtle detractor, that little “you cannot” voice, that attempts to keep us from reaching for our dreams and achieving our potential. In the Disney movie The Rookie, Baseball player Jimmy Morris (played by Dennis Quaid) was an established teacher and baseball coach, to the world, to the people in his world he was by all accounts a success. But in his heart he hadn't achieve his potential, because of “you can't.” It came from negative talk and lack of support by his father. Overcoming the odds; being out of baseball for years, having a serious shoulder injury, his age, and the weight of family responsibilities (mortgage, kids, wife, etc...) he picked up his glove and pursued his dream... one 98 mph fastball at a time. Maybe that's the thing: Keep throwing strikes until you achieve your true potential. Most importantly, it begins with believing YOU CAN.

No single movie quote today, because the entire movie carries a great message.

What “you cannot” will you throw fastballs past today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading