Daily Mood Quotes - January 14, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 240 – January 14, 2012

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

~Gail Devers

Seven months ago, I applied for a job as a columnist for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. I saw the advertisement on-line, and since I have decided to chase my dream of becoming a writer, I applied. After four months had past, I figured they gave it to someone with a name, or a relative. So I let it go. Yesterday, I got an e-mail saying I didn't make the cut. No big surprise, it's hard to break into any business, including the writing business unless your a name, or you have a relative in the business. I'm not being cynical, just being honest. I have seen and heard so many stories about how people got their jobs and let me tell you it isn't through education, experience or good luck. I wish the Pittsburgh Post Gazette luck with whomever they hire, because giving quality advice is a tough slot to fill. Especially when the truth is put on the back burner for ratings.

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.”

~Unknown Author

Master Chief use to tell me, “if you don't try, then how will you know.” Between you and me, I hated that statement because it meant I was going to try. Now I find myself saying that to my children and regularly to myself, when I get the notion to quit, or when I feel defeated by life. What's that old saying, “pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.” Back to the drawing board.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

~Winston Churchill

I have had successes, I have had failures and I can tell without a doubt, the courage to continue matters. A friend once said to me, “if you quit you die” maybe not literally, but eventually courage, determination, resolve, the strength to move forward and try again fade away. You find yourself asking the questions, “why,” or “what happened” and “is it too late?” Know this, as long as you draw breath, it is never to late to find the courage to continue. Success and failure are a part of everyday living and we have the power to control that. For me and the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, the failure would have been, me not trying. Success will come in its proper time and with continued effort. Onward, upward and ever forward...

“Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which will grow – perhaps it all will.”

~Albert Einstein

Ever heard the saying, “too many irons in the fire?” I have heard that most of my life, it must be a common saying, because everywhere I have ever lived, Minnesota, North Dakota, Pennsylvania and Virginia; I've heard it, I wasn't real sure what it meant, until recently. It goes hand-in-hand with the saying, “never put all your eggs in one basket.” There is a balance to be attained. You have to put yourself out there, let the world know who you are and focus on what your heart says is possible. Don't be shy, apply for all those jobs, talk to all those people, let the world know you are here and you can do it. H.H. Swami Tejomayananda said, “Some are destined to succeed, some are determined to succeed.” Go for it!!!

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

In the movie The Secret of My Succe$$ with Michael J. Fox (Brantley Foster/Carlton Whitfield), a  college graduate who lined up a job in New York, only to be fired the same day he started due to a hostile takeover, suddenly found himself unemployed in a big, hostile, city. Not letting the setback defeat him, he took on New York's business world and ultimately succeeded, his way. It's a movie, but the message stands: Be determined, be resolved and define your destiny. Everyone has one.

How will you define your destiny today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - january 13, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 239 – January 13, 2012

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well"

~Voltaire

In the movie Heart and Souls with Robert Downey Jr. (Thomas), Kyra Sedgwick (Julia), Elizabeth Shue (Anne), Altre Woodard (Penny), Charles Grodin (Harrison), Tom Sizemore (Milo) and David Paymer (Hal, the bus driver). Thomas said to his girlfriend Anne, “ I've loved people before and they went away. So a long time ago I made a decision that I wasn't gonna need anybody anymore.”

I'm starting with a movie quote because a few days ago, I realized that I have been having some very dark days recently. My moods, my behavior and my attitudes about things have been a bit rough, I haven't even been interested in talking to anyone. I have been told that it's part of the grieving process. I really wouldn't know because its been so many years (1983 to be exact), since I lost someone I actually cared about, loved. In my lifetime, I have been hurt so many times by people who have claimed to “love” me, but that love came with strings attached and always tied into something. I have already stated I grew up in a family that taught the “love with strings” way of life and because of that, I decided to put up walls, so that I could live without feeling hurt, or used and sometimes both. In 1983, I was friends with a Major in the Army... just friends; he was old enough to be my father. We read the same books, discussed them, shared jokes, fun times in our lives and he was a part my “movie going” group. Actually he started the group, a few of us got together once every two weeks went and saw a movie and after the movie went out to eat and shared our thoughts on the movie. The interesting part of this group was the age differences and the different ideas and perspectives each of us had on the movie. I learned a lot about people, especially the older generation - in 1983 I was only 19. Fun times were had by all. Unfortunately, my friendship with the Major was cut short; he was killed in an automobile accident, while at home visiting his family in Alabama. I was devastated and decided at that point in my life, I never wanted to feel hurt like that again. I stopped getting close to anyone, or allowing anyone to be close to me.

As time went by and I aged, a few people (adults and they worked really hard), my husband, my best friend of thirty years, and my dad found their way into that place in my heart where there is love (my children all already reside there). When I was told my dad had cancer, my first thought was; “he can beat this, he is the strongest man I know, he's my dad and he knows I need him, so he'll beat this.” Unfortunately, after a conversation with my dad in November, I knew he wasn't long for the world. I have always considered myself a strong person, a do it on my own kind of girl, tough to a fault. I have even heard people call me “cold-hearted,” “difficult/stubborn” and my favorite “bit#$.” They never bothered me, because as I have always told my children, “people find it easier to judge someone and call them names than it is to take the time to get to know them.” My case is no different, not to mention I don't make it easy for people. My husband, my best friend and my dad knew this. I have very few close friends; I know many people, but very few of them can say they know me. My dad knew me and I knew my dad. But his death has caused me to feel a pain that I haven't felt since I lost my Major friend in 1983, only deeper and more profound. My dark moods are because I miss him very much and I am trying to prevent myself from closing off the world, as I did in 1983. I'm not as closed off as I once was, but the opportunity is there and it's a struggle for me.

Seven years ago, I lost my mom, my aunt and my step-grandmother, all within the same year. There was no real love for any of these woman and therefore their passing meant little to me. I even went to my mom's funeral to make certain she was dead. So much of her life was a lie, I expected her death might also have been a fabrication. My life really began after she died. The reason my life began; because she wasn't around to poo-poo and criticize everything in my life anymore. I could achieve things, I never thought possible when she was alive. Even distance didn't stop her from crushing my hopes, dreams and causing problems in my marriage. She even attempted to put a wedge (she used lying as a tool to cause problems between people) between my dad and me and for many years she did. I was very blessed to have had the past seven years with my dad, even though I lived out of state. We built a great father-daughter relationship over the phone. He sent holiday cards, birthday cards and even a card of inspiration once. I respected and admired my father and recently before he passed, he told me, he respected and admired me. I'm hurting; I don't know how long the grieving process lasts, I just know I have to go with the flow until the hurt diminishes. I know it may never go away completely, but as time goes on, it may become less and less and maybe I can remember my dad with a smile instead of the sadness and the “I miss you” tears when I think of him.

If you have ever lost anyone you love, I hope you understand the dark moods I have had since I started writing again. Everyday I remind myself what a wonderful gift love is, and if you have that gift in your life don't take it for granted, don't ignore it, or don't put it off until tomorrow. Seize the moment, make the memories and enjoy the time. One amazing saying I see everywhere these days is “live, laugh, love,” Yes! “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE,” it's worth it.

There is a fun saying from the movie Hitch with Will Smith (Hitch) and Eva Mendes (Sara), Hitch says to Sara, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.” Something to think about as the day progresses.

This is the last blog I will do about dad, as I will be working on better days and moving ahead with my life without my dad. I will also ask the readers of Daily Mood Quotes to please understand, I may slip and have a dark day occasionally, I'm not perfect....I'm human.

How will you live, laugh and love today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - January 12, 2012

Daily Mood Quote
Day 238 - January 12, 2012

When you have nothing to say, you should say nothing.
~Unknown Author

That is the day I am having. Be back tomorrow

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Daily Mood Quotes - January 11, 2012

Daily Mood Quote

Day 237 – January 11, 2012

“Friendships are discovered rather than made.”

~Harriet Beecher Stowe

What is the difference between friendship and networking? I ask this question because recent events in my life raise the questions of what and why? What are your motives? Why are you talking to me? Why do you want to connect with me? I hate to be so cynical, but these are questions I have to ask. Allow me to give you a little insight into my life. In my family there seemed always to be an ulterior motive, or hook on everything that was done, or said. All favors were conditional and on a “what can you do for me” basis. Nothing was ever from the good of the heart, or just plain ol' love. Consequently, I don't have a great deal of trust for other's motives, when they suddenly pop back into my life after years of distance and want me to friend them on Facebook and invite them into my Linkedin network. “I have questions, queries, posers” that come to mind (thanks Number 5 played by Tim Blaney from the movie Short Circuit with Ally Sheedy and Steve Guttenberg).

These are folks that I once thought of as friends, but now I wonder about that. The era of social networking seems to be becoming less social and more network. I feel that is a loss for all of us. Today people flock to “friend” as many people as possible to build their social profile online. But in the race to hook into the network, we often bypass the basic building blocks of friendship. The first of which is a genuine emotional, not digital, connection to those we know. You just can't get that without an in person experience. The second basic block on which real friendships are built is trust and that takes a while to establish and grow (especially with me, I once had a friend say to me, “you have some very thick walls people need to break through, but once they are through, the friendship is worth it). As in the fable of the bamboo grower, “It takes time.” The third block upon which friendship is built is shared goals, interests, or other emotionally connected experiences; be they positive, or negative. Emotion counts. If there is no emotion, there is no friendship, its that simple. That's how we connect to people and develop friendships. To call it anything else is a lie and I can’t support that and you can't get that from a “digital network.”

If it's just a way to “leverage” an acquaintance, let's be honest about it. Your not looking for a friendship, your developing a means, a way to get what you want, be it a job, a promotion, a status...whatever. Much like my mom, “I'll give that to you, if you do this for me.” I have to wonder if this was Mark Zuckerberg's intention for Facebook. I know I'm being cynical here, but it seems to me that we have taken a great idea and bastardized it into a “what can you do for me opportunity.” Both online and off, and no longer about “genuine friendship.” I have noticed that people's offline behavior is beginning to mimic this online “friending” fraud. Online habits seem to leak into real life. It leaves me wondering does anyone know what friendship is anymore, what it looks like or even how one is suppose to behave in public? Or, is it all about, “hey he/she is in a position that can help me move up, so I think I will friend him/her on Facebook, or Linkedin.” It seems as what was once a wonderful way to stay connected to family and your true friends has become the domain of networking vultures. Always circling, always drifting in search of that next connection to exploit.

To be fair, I know of some people who don't use Facebook for networking, for them it is about keeping in touch with family and sharing those precious moments with loved ones; that is awesome. I have had a friend for thirty years and she will be the first one to tell you, it took a long time for me to trust her and become friends with her. But when we did, we both will tell you, the friendship is worth it. Oh the stories we could tell, unfortunately, we wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough to tell them. You can't get this through a random Facebook friend, whom you have never really met.

I know this sounds a bit curmudgeonly and I apologize, but when something bugs me I have to get it out. Three weeks ago, my dad died and I thought perhaps my siblings and I might become closer now that our parents are gone. In fact the opposite has happened. I have reached out, but I haven't heard from anyone since my dad passed. Perhaps they are still grieving, but that isn't what history has taught me. I believe I won't hear from them, unless I have something to offer them. Love with strings, friendships with strings (networking). I miss my dad very much, because his love didn't come with strings attached. They're just following an example was set many years ago by mom, “I'll do this for you, if you do this for me.” Much like networking. It's sad.

Can you tell the difference between “friendship” and “networking friendship” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - January 10, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 236 - January 10, 2012

“To be afraid is to have more faith in evil than in God.”

~Emmet Fox

"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and hence clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."

~H.L. Mencken

Okay, today I may touch on a few issues that could rub folks the wrong way. That's alright, because as humans we are all different and have different points of view. In fact, that is the first of two basic issues I want to look at today. I find it curious that somehow we have as a species, failed to embrace the simple fact that we are in fact, a species. There is a range of sizes, shapes, coloration and a host of other variations in almost any globally present species. So too with us. Diversity and adaptability is good and leads to stable systems. It's a simple scientific fact, born out time and again; throughout the history of the planet. Yet, we as people seem to have a hard time accepting this very fundamental species survival mechanism. No matter where you look, you see folks in almost every walk of life pointing out others who are different as a threat. The same holds for occupations, behaviors, religions and just about anything else you can think of. We can't and shouldn't be all exactly the same; that's Species Survival 101.

So, What's my point? It is simple. This morning, I read an article in the Huffington Post and on Reuters that in a Monday speech, Pope Benedict XVI stated his belief that political support of gay marriage undermined the family and “threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself.” I just want to be clear about a few things. First, I think that, if the quote is accurate (I couldn't find the transcript), the Pope, who has been accused of covering up the indiscretions of gay and pedophile priests, needs to tread lightly here, I don't suffer hypocrites well. And as I understand it, Jesus of Nazareth didn't either. I'm just saying; where is the acceptance, the love and forgiveness; isn't that the foundation of the faith?

That said, I also wonder what was the real motivation behind the piece I read, as it seemed to “cherry pick” facts to paint Catholics in general, in the worst possible light. That's not right either. I believe, its just as hypocritical to point a finger and say see how bad “they” (pick one as we are all “they” to someone else) are for not following Christ's lead, while it's okay to attack them. I just didn’t see the article as fair minded. So, to point two and something we discussed yesterday; Fear. I can't in any way, believe that gay marriage, or lack there of is going to have any negative impact on humanity's survival. That to me is fear mongering to advance the cause of an organization. One that given its 2000 year history should know better by now. There always have been and always will be a distribution of sexual orientations and other behaviors in this and every other species. We may, or may not have souls (depending on one's beliefs, I for one, do believe), but we can be certain, the wiring inside the human brain is always going to include variability. Kind of a no-brainer, please pardon the pun. What disturbs me is that the head of a church would feel it necessary to stoop to that level, in order to lure people “afraid of a changing world,” into the fold.

I really don't recall anywhere in the New Testament that Jesus Christ whom is the real head of the church, condoned being “afraid” of anything on earth. He in fact said on more than one occasion “do not be afraid.” Case in point, Matthew 10:26 says, “So do not be afraid of people.”(NIV) I'm not giving a Bible lessen here, just expressing that what the Pope said really “feels” wrong this time and isn't consistent with the simple facts of life on earth, or Jesus's message. But, we are all human and as I said, how we see things is variable. But, to use the “future of humanity itself ” as a hand tool of fear mongering, really misses the point. I sincerely hope that the Catholic church changes it's hard heart. There are so very many other things that truly are a threat to the survival of our species and the planet we all live on. Lets focus on fixing those first. As President Andrew Shepherd (played by Michael Douglas) in the movie The American President said, “Let's try to keep our eye on the ball, okay?”

I really believe the first, greatest evil is fear. It makes otherwise good people, do horrendous things. That's the real threat to the survival of humanity. To single out any group of people who are just going about their own business, leading their daily lives, as a threat to humanity is a long and slippery slope. That's how leaders have twisted whole populations to do truly unspeakable things to others. George Orwell once pointed out that the first job of a leader is to create an enemy that could strike fear into the hearts of the electorate. Our religious leaders might want to focus on hope, not fear.... we have the Republican Super-PACS for that. They can spread fear, like jam on bread and so, so many eat it up. My point; any organization, or writer that uses fear instead of fact, hate instead of love, deception instead of truth to further itself/themselves, is not working in anyone's interest but their own. Caveat emptor (Let the buyer beware); extends to both politics and religion (whoops, I guess thats a itsy bit of fear mongering too, but I prefer to think of it as common sense). Choose well, read wisely.

How will you view others today?

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Daily Mood Quote - January 9, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 235 – January 9, 2012

“We don't live in our fears, we live in our hopes.”

~Mike Tomlin – Head Coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers

Yesterday, I watched the playoff game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Denver Broncos and Phil Simms an NFL game announcer commented on his interview with Mike Tomlin about some past decisions that were made regarding Ben Roethlisberger, the quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers and whether or not he should have played the last two games of the regular season with his injury. Mike Tomlin commented “we don't live in our fears, we live in our hopes.” My thought after I heard that, “wow, what a profound statement and accurate too.” How many of us live with fears, regrets, the “woulda, shoulda, and coulda's” of our lives?

I know I have even asked the question, “what if I would have done this differently or said this instead of that” figuring the outcome may have been different. But, you know what, it doesn't matter, what is done is done and we need to stop stewing in the past and move ahead with the hope that is waiting for us. Failure to see hope, or believe in hope, takes away the belief that there is a tomorrow, with new possibilities. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” So why fear something that is already in the past; we cannot touch it, we can not see it, and we can not taste it, because the past no longer exists. It seems foolish to be afraid of something, or allow that something that is no more, to have so much control over us, that it dictates life to us.

Fear is a distressing emotion that has its only purpose in the “now” (as in supplying the rush of adrenalin you might need to escape an onrushing fright train). When allowed to hang around and fester, it can really mess up a day, a week, a month, a year and even a life. Especially, if we allow it to take control of our thoughts and actions. Hope, best described by Dictionary.com as, “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” I believe to gain a positive future, we need to suppress our fears, try and have a little hope. I also believe that is what Mr. Tomlin was talking about. You see Ben Roethlisberger has a high ankle sprain and really should have been on the injured list, but Big Ben is tough and chose to play in the “HOPE” of putting the Pittsburgh Steelers in a better position for the playoffs. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. This time it did not pay off, but I admire the Steelers for trying, for having hope. I know many Steeler fans are disappointed about this, but as my father use to say, “there is always next year.” That's the promise that we all share; For the teams who are finished this year and tomorrow for those of us, who have hope.

I know what you may be thinking, “It's easier said than done ” and for many that's true. Anyone who has had a significant, or repeated trauma may need a bit of help separating the tangled mess fear leaves in its wake. Our human minds, however evolved we wish to believe, still have a long way to go in learning how to put old fears in their proper place. That's why hope in the possibilities of tomorrow exists. It is the counterbalance to fear. Some things just take more time than others. However, a caution, our time on earth is not endless, we all only have a certain amount of time to work with and what you do with that time, that hope, those possibilities is up to you.

What hope will you have today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - January 8, 2012

Daily Mood Quote

Day 234 – January 8, 2012

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

~Anne Frank

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping at a local store and as I passed two men talking on my way to get some milk, I heard one gentlemen tell an acquaintance he had been unemployed for four years and wasn't sure what he was going to do anymore. For a brief moment, I understood and empathized with the gentlemen and I even took a few moments to talk with him and his friend. Maybe, because I didn't want him to feel singled out, or alone because I too have been unemployed for two and a half years and my husband for a year an a half. There is comfort in numbers I guess. Some interesting things I noticed, we were all easily over the age of 45, all experienced (over-experienced in the eyes of today's society), beyond the age where people would want to hire us. This empathy lasted for only a short period of time, because I realized something during a conversation with my husband on our way home. We are/were all looking for the same old stuff. What is the same old stuff, you ask? Well let me explain.

The same old stuff is what we once were, the jobs we once had and what we once enjoyed doing. I suppose that's natural, to want to drop back into our comfort zone where things seemed “good.” Unfortunately, we can't keep living in the past, it's what we do now and tomorrow that counts. It's a basic lesson from Life on Earth 101; failure to evolve will result in extinction, as in people who refuse to adapt and move on, may never be gainfully employed again. That's just the way it is.

Let's face it, if you haven't work in a field in four years, it's well past time to find another field. Julian Michaels said, “Transformation is not five minutes from now; it's a present activity. In this moment you can make a different choice, and it's these small choices and successes that build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self-esteem.” Now, I know she is the “fitness guru,” and a product of our culture's myopic views on age and beauty (I still believe we need to fix that), but as I have stated. “What is true and good, no matter the source”.... and if we think about this from an attitudinal perspective, it applies. We have to change, grow, transform and evolve all the time, just as the world is changing and failure to do has dire and regretful results.

My husband says that men sometimes have a harder time making that adjustment than women. He isn't being discriminatory, or offering any excuses. It's just the facts. You really never hear songs by women harkening back to the “Glory Days” Thanks Bruce Springsteen or “The Summer of 69” Thanks Bryan Adams. My husband has also had a tough time altering his self-image to catch up to the things he's already doing, analysis and writing. He also concedes that he's not sure if it's culture, or genetics that drive that behavior; it just is. And, it's a nasty little trap that men build for themselves. Maybe women needed to be more adaptable in this area, due to the fact that we (women) needed to be the caregivers and had to continue to tend to the children, after the men had been mowed down by a woolly mammoth; so it makes sense in a species survival kind of way. I'm not sure, but the evidence seems to be there.

Anyway, we all need to adjust our vision of who we are from time to time, to incorporate the realities of where we are in time and space. That includes occupations and avocations. Please understand I am not putting anyone down or belittling anyone. I'm just saying that if your a man, or a woman and you had been doing one thing for years and years and you no longer are doing that, then maybe it's time to reevaluate your skills, update them and seek success elsewhere. Look at me, I have been a mom for 27 years and I love being a mom, it is who I am and what I have loved doing my whole life (since I was 20), in a few short years, all of my children will be off to college, married, chasing a career and living life. I will fall in the category of “empty-nesters.” So, I have now spent nearly 6 years in college to get a current education in the business world, first my Bachelors, now my Master's Degree. When the time comes to go to work full-time outside the home, instead of inside caring for children, I will be ready. Anything's possible!

In the movie 17 Again with Zac Efron and Matthew Perry, the Janitor (played by Brian Doyle-Murray) said to Matthew Perry (Mike O'Donnell) “High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the picture of the glory days wondering "What might have been." Seems to me you guys are living in the past.” Mike O'Donnell replied with “Well, of course I wanna live in the past. It was better there...” He already achieved what he wanted, or so he thought; He was on top, then life through him a curve ball....good story, great message. Simply put, it's about moving on, not holding on to what once was. Frances Moore Lappé, said, “I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I am a dyed-in-the-wool possibilist! I mean with an eco-mind, we see that everything's connected and change is the only constant.” I too am a possibilist and believe if we had it once, we can have it again, we just need to evolve and make it better. Possibilities are endless if only you seek them out and try.

How will you “move-on” today?

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