Daily Mood Quotes - November 30, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 209 – November 30, 2011

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age.

~William D. Tammeus

Ouch, this morning I woke up feeling very midlife, not necessarily feeling old, just feeling on the road or path to old. Sore from arthritis, moody (thanks menopause) with an outlook of mun-dun-dane, depression and disappointment. One of the things that always comes to my mind when I am having these days, is how much I miss Minnesota. There was always something to do, no matter the season, and always a friend to visit, no matter the day. Here, where I currently live, well there's a reason I call it the “Ragged Edge of the Rust Belt.” I don't like it very much anymore, I did once a long time ago, but the things I have seen, the people I have met and the “your not from here” attitudes I have endured, can just be a bit too much after a while. I suppose I could simply not care, but I'm not built like that. I do care and that seems to be a lost art around here.

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of charities and lots of causes and lots of “involvement,” but it's clear that the reason behind it is not “I genuinely want to do good,” but more like “I want something good to put on my resume” and “I had better get some recognition for this.” Kind of a self-defeating concept. Anyhow, back to midlife, or middle age, or facing the prospect of getting older. I know it beats the alternative, but it seems like there's got to be a better way. Maybe it just that my mood today is a bit on the dark side, even though it is very sunny with a fresh bright coat of snow outside, I'm having a hard time seeing anything other than the negative today. My husband says, “that's the chemistry of your menopause working against you and even exercise isn't going to change that, until your hormones balance out. It's menopause and take it for what it's worth, even if you don't like the lesson.” My response, “so what's the lesson here?” He replied, “take it as an opportunity to learn better self-control” at which I almost threw a slipper at him (at least I thought about it). The urge was strong, but I realized he was right. Lets face it, he has three older sisters and has seen this before; a unique view of women for a guy to be sure. Although, I'm not sure he really appreciates the DéJa Vu experience. I'm not sure who the lucky one is here, me for having such an understanding husband, or him for having a wife who will “occasionally” concede when he's right. It's rare when a woman acknowledges that a man may have more insight into “women stuff” than a woman. But in this particular case, he has a point. So, I put the slipper down, and grumbled in agreement.

So, we get older, the body hurts a bit more and far more often. We wake up feeling like we carried a truck full of coal and on top of that, our hormones are making a mess of our emotions and mental processing powers. Middle-age with menopause is just a lovely time to be a woman. Its a double whammy and some days it just stinks, like today. The funny thing is, some of those aches and pains bring back memories good and not so good. Playing softball and the innocence of youth, or perhaps the auto accident I was in. I feel lucky that I have some pleasant youthful memories and grateful that the accident, though painful was not more serious. I have family who have not faired as well after auto accidents and I count myself truly blessed.

Well, I'll take my “self-control lesson” for what it is. Another step on life's path and grumble through the day. I know this will not last and eventually I'll be through menopause. I'll be past the hormone driven emotions and be able to pass to my children the new found wisdom and utilize the newly developed patience in dealing with people and events that might have precipitated a disproportionate response earlier in life. Yeah, menopause! Thank you to Jeanie Linders, the writer and producer of the off Broadway musical, Menopause the Musical. There is a lot of comfort in knowing I am normal and I am not alone...I have been welcomed into the “Sisterhood of Menopause.” Am I lucky or what?

This too shall pass...

What's on your mind today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 29, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 208 – November 29, 2011

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.

~John Lennon

First, I did not post a blog yesterday. I had nothing to say and I did not want to disrespect the Daily Mood Quote readers by putting out a piece of fluff, with no meaning behind it. That's dishonest and I won't do that. My focus yesterday was on my youngest child. It was her birthday and those days are important to me. You see, when I was eighteen, I had a doctor's appointment, my annual physical, and I was planning to get married. After this physical, I was told they found an abnormality and I would not be able to have children. I was devastated, because more than anything I wanted children.

Well, it turns out that those doctors were wrong (a little lesson here: always get a second opinion of any dire diagnosis). So, I remember and put great emphasis on every one of my children's birthdays. Because, they simply may never have been. It is truly a miracle that I have been blessed with five children, five healthy, intelligent, beautiful children. Each pregnancy was a struggle and a few of my children were born very early, but each of them is a gift. And on their birthdays, that is what I remember and I am thankful for those gifts and for the love that I feel for each of them in my heart.

In my life's travel, I have met many people from a wide variety of different cultures. The one thing that I found to be most shocking is how “taken for granted” having children, healthy children of your own is. And, how often it is resented by otherwise intelligent people. I will admit that raising children can be a very time consuming, expensive and exhausting endeavor, but I have to ask the very simple question: Isn't that part of why we are here in the first place? Are we not integral pieces of a much larger mosaic? If we are not paying attention to that little fact, we are truly missing an important part of our own self-growth.

While I'm in the subject of “self”... In our culture we tend to focus so very heavily on personal growth, career, accomplishments, all things of the “self.” People spend billions, if not trillions of dollars on trying to make themselves better, younger, healthier, stronger, richer, whatever. Unfortunately, so much of this comes at the expense of the next generation, our children. It really baffles me that people are so singularly focused on their personal achievements and themselves. All too often, I here my peers and others try to justify it by saying, “Well, I'm leaving them with more money, or an aspirational example to follow,” or some other pale veneer over their own selfish interest. All the while, they spend zero time with their children and relegate the raising of their children (what I suspect is quite possibly the most important task we have on this planet), to somebody else.

More often than not, it's the television, video games, or even worse the Internet, which is filled to the brim with people who could not possibly care less about the long term physical, mental and emotional welfare of our children. Too many children have an open portal to all that is vile, evil and uncivilized in our world. If you don't believe me, just witness some of the violent video games and Internet sites that are out there, which promote, “murder, death, kill” (thanks Demolition Man with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock). Before I go much further, I have to say that I also see the good that this advance in communications (the Internet) can bring. And there is a positive use for some video games, especially on cold and rainy days. However, somebody will always eventually exploit any good innovation to debase and undermine children in search of profit, or just to expand upon their own evil intent. Sadly, that is where so many parents, who are focused on self, leave there children dangling, while they take Pilates, Zumba, or work 70 hour weeks.

Okay, back to the main point, love takes commitment, time and effort. You can't buy it, you can't manufacture it and store it for another time. It takes constant, patient, diligent, ongoing, effort. Its a gift that so often is seen as a burden and put on a shelf to wither and die, while we chase a better “self” image. The funny thing is that actively growing love is the fastest way to improve your self image and grow both as a person and in spiritual wellness (regardless of religious belief, love is a constant, just like in math. It's built into the human equation). John Lennon also said, “All you need is love” the rest of what is important just flows from it. It is the legacy that will carry on long after all the self fulfillment has faded away and “the stuff” we gained has collapsed into dust. Our children bear that legacy forward and it's up to us to decide, will we give them a living, growing thing, or a withered plant that never stood a chance?  

How will you grow love today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 27, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 207 – November 27, 2011

“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.”

~Rosaleen Dickson

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.”

~Anthony Brandt

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.”

~Winston Churchill

Today is a family day. A game of Monopoly is what is on tap and later this evening an NFL Football game.

How will you spend this day?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 26, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 206 – November 26, 2011

“Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.”

~Erich Fromm

While surfing the net yesterday, I came across a video that I found to be very disturbing. Walmart had doorbuster sales for “Black Friday.” This doorbuster sale was a $2.00 (yes, that's right) waffle maker. While viewing the video, I saw such bad behavior, in so many people (pushing and shoving) and way too much of one woman's hiney. She didn't bother to pull up her pants, because she was too busy grabbing four of the “doorbuster” waffle makers. This was the most egregious and disgusting display of holiday behavior I have seen in a long while. Are we that desperate, or just that hard up for a $2.00 waffle maker? I believe “sale” and “doorbuster” are rapidly becoming two of the worst words in the American language. They cause what should be rational people to simply lose their minds and abandon common sense, especially during the holiday season. Every year people are seriously hurt and someone loses their life over “sales” and “doorbusters.” Congratulations retailers, their deaths are literately on your hands. You are responsible for taking the life of someone, because of your search for the “almighty dollar,” via the “Black Friday” sale and the doorbuster. I guess we can also call it black for the spirits of those who think this stuff up and for those who blindly “plow” into the sale without regard for others. Yet, retailers are not the ones who are ultimately held responsible for the chaos and mayhem they create. And the media is just as bad (no, you can't slide by on this), because every year the cameras and bobble head reporters are there to sensationalize the carnage.

I have always heard, “you get what you pay for.” In the movie Protocol with Goldie Hawn, she says, “Do you know what my Dad says? He says, if you let a guy sell you a diamond ring for only ten cents, the chances are you own a diamond ring not worth a dime.” Do you know how much sense this makes? If something is cheap, then you can certainly bet, it is worth far less than you paid for it and there is a good probability that it will be broken, or not working by New Year's Eve. What's the point? Just to give some stuff to people, that are now obliged to give you some stuff in return. None of it worth a dime and none of it given for the right reason, the true spirit of Christmas.

Long ago, the small gift exchanges that families had, meant something. They were tokens of love and appreciation with good emotions attached to them. They were thoughtful. Let me ask you this, what good emotions could possibly be attached to a “two dollar waffle maker,” that you had to tackle and abuse a complete stranger to get? And where prey tell, was this “spectacular gift” made? I will bet you it was not made by anybody that gave a rats red backside about Christmas, or it's true meaning. No matter who you are, or where you are from, or what religious beliefs you may hold or attach to Jesus of Nazareth, no one can argue this was clearly not his intention; to have such mayhem, anger and greed associated with the celebration of his birthday. Seriously, who would want that kind of misery hanging over their head?

As for you retailers, like Macy's, J.C. Penny's, and Best Buy, maybe it is time you watched Miracle on 34^th Street with Natalie Wood, about 5,000 times to get the point. Clearly, you're doing it wrong. Imagine, if your younger selves could see you today, they'd kick your butts, for the greed and bad behavior (Thank you Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds in Mr. Deeds).

In the movie Jingle All The Way, Myron Larabee (played by Sinbad) said, “We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up.” For what? Some cheap piece of “stuff,” perceived a deal today, that later ends up being a bust, or busted. So much for doorbusters and the Spirit of Christmas. I think I hear Santa crying in the distance.....

What will you put value on today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 25, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 205 – November 25, 2011

“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”

~Sam's Dad (Whip Hubley) from A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff.

The Cinderella story is as old as time itself and the message is more common than we know. But, it is more than just the stepmother with ugly daughters taking over. It can be family, friends, co-workers, anyone who has an inferiority complex (fears) and will do or say anything to keep you from the game. How do they do this? By attempting to instil fear, doubt and insecurities in the hope of their target becoming so discouraged with themselves, that they give in and do exactly what the bully wants. The victim either quits, or is made too afraid to step up the plate, because they don't want to strike out and fail.

How do I know this? Well its through tough life experience. I was raised by a woman (who claimed to be my mother), who did everything in her power to keep me from achieving in everything I tried. From achieving good grades in school (there was always a punishment if I got good grades), to high school color-guard/rifle corp (she made me quit), to finding the love of my life (her violent behavior caused a break up that lasted nine years). It seemed as if she was determined to take away all the things that brought me any happiness. When that didn't seem to work, she stepped it up with verbal abuse and then moved to public embarrassment. There just came a point when I began to count down the days to age 18... Freedom, or so I thought. So, enough about me.

In his book Attitude 101, John Maxwell points out some interesting stories of people who have succeeded in spite of striking out at the beginning. He noted, that in his first game as a major league player, Henry Aaron, the best home run hitter in baseball went 0 for 5, but he didn't quit. And, his career is an astounding success story. It's just that simple. Keep swinging and don't let failures get in the way. When Julia Child had a soufflé fall flat, she just smiled and said, “Well, you can't win them all. Bon Appetit!” and that's the way it is.

People, timing and circumstances have always and will always get in the way, at one level or another, of us achieving, and being the best we can possibly be. It can seem like an uphill battle, while dangling on a cliff face some days. My husband has an old story from his advertising agency days. One day he walked into his supervisor's office, and complained out loud (remember he was young and inexperienced) “these account exec are driving me “F'n” crazy!” At this point the sage old creative supervisor, who was half in the bag at the time (drunk), looked at him with blood-shot eyes and said, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” Hmmmm. The fact is being successful, achieving your best is not now, nor will it ever be “easy.” In our impatient, immediate gratification culture, people tend to forget that and when anything they try becomes difficult, they just give up and walk away. That's why we see so few who “make it” in any area of life, and so many who fall along the wayside, or those who ride on other's backs and somehow call that a success. Yet, they are also the ones who end up miserable, despite wealth and fame.

I believe most people don't understand what success is. John Maxwell defines it this way, “Success is...Knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” This is where most people fall down; they only seek to benefit themselves. Because that is what our sensationalistic, hyperbolic culture focuses on. The individual success and of course...the stuff. We so often forget “the benefit others” part of the definition in our daily lives.

Again from one of my favorite books, Worthy of Their Esteem by Ian C. Martin, a Lincoln quote comes to mind, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” If success includes “benefiting others”, as Maxwell offers, then we must also bear that fact in mind as we seek to overcome the challenges in our lives. It may be just the “batting coach” we need. I'm going to continue swinging for the fences and I hope others will too, despite the road blocks that life may put in our way.

How will you ignore fear and “swing for the fences” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 24, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 204 – November 24, 2011

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

~Thornton Wilder

Today is Thanksgiving, and if this is a day you celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving. Earlier I asked myself, “what are you thankful for this year?” I amazed myself because I have a list of things to be thankful for. First; my husband and children whom I love very much and I am very proud of each and every one of them. Second, the continued good health of my family. Yes, we have our challenges, but they are manageable. Third, good friends, because today my good friend reminded me that our children are our greatest accomplishment; they are the legacy we leave behind to carry on. Fourth, over the past several months I have been given the opportunity to write about a wide variety of subjects. Often it has been my first thought in the morning and subjects I am passionate about. I want to say thank you to all of the readers who read Daily Mood Quotes. Thank you for your input and kind words.

Well, the holiday season is off an running and Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase) in the movie Christmas Vacation set it best, when he said, “The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin.”... I'm pretty sure he meant “enduring traditions.” It's hard to speak when your jaw is frozen (funny movie).

HAPPY THANKSGIVING – gobble, gobble....

What will you be thankful for today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 23, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 203 – November 23, 2011

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 
~Harvey Fierstein

So, why, when we do define ourselves, find our passion, others work hard to squash it? What do I mean? Here's a couple of stories; when I was an Administrative Assistant for a Vice President at a bank, the people I worked for where thrilled with my performance. I was just doing my job to the best of my ability. However, some of those around (in the same office) misread my efforts and thought me competitive and tried everything in their power (including making up stories) to undermine and sabotage my performance with my boss and those I worked with. “Hey, wait a minute, I thought we were on the same team?” It ultimately left me feeling uncomfortable, isolated and under attack, just for doing my job. Finally, the lies and the butt kissing of those who had no dignity and few job skills (all though if gossip were a viable job skill, she would have been tops in her field), lead me to the unemployment line. I was bullied out of a position that I loved and a boss, I respected. Perhaps that will work out in the long run, but right now, it still stings.

My husband went to art school and I have said before in this blog, his talent is natural, God given. He went there to learn how to make the most of the gift he was given and to follow the course that seemed right and natural for him. In that pursuit he applied himself and even helped anyone (his classmates) who needed it. Then, is his final year he found out, quite to his surprise, that everyone including those who he had helped, hated him. Really, deeply and vehemently, loathed him. They felt competitive with him and he never knew, never imagined, that this is how everyone felt. All he was doing was being focused on quality work and applying himself to the fullest. In his final year, my husband was given two of his own display cases by the faculty and administration, along with a scholarship for his efforts. In short order, he was not only hated by his peers, but by the student body as a whole and some of his instructors for his work. This revelation caused my husband to request the school remove his work from the cases. It wasn't necessarily humility, it was the shock of being reviled for a talent that he was born with. Some students in his class went from silent competition to open aggression. The comments and angry stares, the artwork defaced and supplies were taken, all in an effort to “slow him down.” Finally, he was just glad to be done with it all and begin his career where the competition was out in the open and between companies, not peers, or not. But, the damage had been done and he never really spoke to any of them again. And, when he was in a position to hire some of them later in his career, he thought the better of it and hired somebody else. In the long run, they had hurt themselves by their bully behavior.

Soooo, we've been paying attention to the work-lives and charitable efforts of friends and family and it would seem that this type of foolishness happens everyday in businesses, schools and organizations all over the country, perhaps the world. There is some small comfort in knowing our experience is not uncommon, but it begs the question. What the hell is wrong with us, that we "kneecap" people in our own organizations, classrooms, families and culture, defeating the larger purpose, in effort to hold someone else back, instead of trying to be better ourselves? 

The point is, if grownups are continually bullying other adults, instead of acting like civilized people, no matter the career, then they aren't very grownup at all, are they? Schoolyard bullies never grow up it seems. It doesn’t matter if you are 20 or 60, if people believe there is only one way to effectively compete, not by better performance and greater effort, but by attacking and belittling those who would do good; it is no surprise that our educational, business and political systems are failing around us. Why do we find it necessary to diminish people and coworkers with passion, talent and skill? My husband says, “It is the fear that is within people that drives this behavior. Fear of inadequacy, fear of having to put forth a greater effort than the bare minimum and that is a self-perpetuating, cultural crisis.” he followed that with, “It has been said that love of money is the root of all evil," true enough. But, fear is its progenitor and is the bitter seed that grows into the poisonous weed of evil, by way of jealousy, hate and bullying.” I have only two questions: What are we afraid of? Do we really "hate" the gifts that others are given, be it a teacher, a co-worker, or even a friend? If we do, then shame on us...

How will you view the "gifts" of others today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 22, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 202 – November 22, 2011

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

~Evan Esar

Today, I was going to do a blog about overcoming fear and achieving your dreams, then an article was put in front of me that begged to be talked about.

Thirty miles from Penn State University, a 17 year old student quit high school, because he was being “bullied.” Here the truly messed up message that is being sent, this student didn't do anything to become a target of bullying. It is what was done to him. The student is known as “victim one” in the case against Jerry Sandusky, the former coach at Penn State under Joe Paterno.

Now, I'm trying to wrap my mind around the reasons for this bullying and I can't. The student, person, “victim one” is a human being, he didn't ask to be a victim in Sandusky's alleged fantasy world, but he was, as were others. Now he has to deal with not just the media and the legal system, but also his peer group; any one of which could have ended up in the same predicament. But his bullies don't see that, they just see a vulnerable target for their anger over the fall of the Penn State football program. Hey folks it's not this kid's fault; its the fault of adults, who should have known better and failed to “do the right thing.”

Yes, I am fully aware “do the right thing” is a reoccurring theme in my blog and I make no apologies. I do this because it is so very important. We have a generation of unaccountable adults running the show and disaster follows in their wake. We have learned to look the other way, duck accountability and bypass the high road, on the way to immediate self gratification and more stuff. It simply is a cultural failure that cannot stand to continue. Here, we have teens acting just like saurians; preying on the injured in their own nests (read schools). Aren't we just so proud? We, their parents, their teachers and society have taught them nothing about what separates us as humans, from prehistoric reptilians whose brains were the size of marbles. This is a sad and enduring testament to misplaced values. The win, the program, the image. There is a common saying, “Image is everything” I use the word "common" to illustrate a deeper point here. Sure, image counts for piranas, peacocks and petunias, but aren't we supposed to be a bit more advanced; made of better stuff? Are we not after 2.5 million years of evolution (simply the facts here) and fifteen thousand years of supposed civilization, better than we behave. Surely, we have examples to follow from all over the globe and different points in time: Socrates, Jesus of Nazareth, Budda, Lao Tzu, Abe Lincoln, Gandhi and others have clearly demonstrated better behavior; what being human should be. But we keep on acting like “angry birds” It's just feakin' tragic. Common decency goes out the window for common mob mentality. It's sad enough that this young person has been victimized then  “outed” by the media (another blog in that one), but for him to have to bear the entire weight of a fallen system, is a travesty beyond any words I can muster.Although I have taken a pretty good shot at it.

And, to the 17 year old who drop out of high school, go back to school, hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. You are not the problem, Graduate from high school, be the better person and become the success you are meant to be; set a better example, the next generation is going to need it. Have hope, I for one believe in your potential.

How will you rise above the "common" today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 21, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 201 – November 21, 2011

Americans never quit

~Douglas MacArthur

Unless your a politician, then quitting, at least to go on “break” is easy, because it doesn't affect them. Okay, (deep breath) as I stated earlier I don't often like to wax political. In fact I really try not to enter this area, as I really have a distaste for the whole thing. But, what is happening is just completely ridiculous. Here's what I mean; Today I heard on the news that the “Congressional Super Committee” is quitting and going home for the holidays. They claim it is too hard to reach a compromise. Are you freakin' kidding me? Must be nice to have the luxury of bailing (quitting) on the most important task you have ever been given and still having a job to come back to after a paid, extended, holiday vacation. In my personal opinion they can just stay home; they don't need to come back, because they can't or won't (which is more probable) do their job. Just exactly, why can't we fire these guys?

It's funny, most Republicans rail against organized labor, yet when you really look at it, they seem to be the members of the most corrupt labor union ever invented, the United States Congress. They can get away with doing nothing forever and still have jobs. What's up with that? Most of us would get fired on the spot for far less egregious failures, And lets not fool ourselves, that's exactly what they are. How else can you explain having a job for 12, 16. 24 or more years and accomplishing nothing that you were hired to do? How do these people keep their jobs?

Democrats are not blameless either, they have taken their being hired (elected) as a license to clean out America’s bank account and spend without thought of consequence. Truthfully, the way the Democrats acted when they got the house majority was nothing short of hijacking the system, a coup de tat, to follow a political agenda that was out of step with mainstream America. Annnnd, since that is all we have, that's all we get; two parties, black or white, up or down, “my way or the highway.” The real world just doesn't work like that, so why does our government? The American public also gets held accountable here; we hired these yo-yos (but that's another story). They go back and forth, and accomplish nothing...yo-yos. Yet, at the end of the day, they get to collect their government paychecks, go home to a Thanksgiving dinner and leave the rest of the nation, those who were counting on them, out in the cold. In some cases literally... It just upsets me at how these people, congressman/woman seem to have no conscience, they talk a good game, but in the end they really don't care.

With that said, here's something to think about. I am in favor of “term limits for the House of Representatives.” We have one for the President, so the precedent has been set. The founders meant our government to be citizen centric and citizen run. I cannot fathom that they would have imagined people would make entire careers in one political office. I promise you, Thomas Jefferson would have thought longer and harder about the wording of our Constitution, if he would have even an inkling that some congressional offices would have taken on the demeanor and color of a miniature monarchy. The framers of our Constitution vehemently abhorred such a concept. Yet, here we stand 240 years later with exactly that going on. I said our Constitution for a reason. It is our Constitution we, not the political pontiffs own it. Just like a house, when its yours, you are responsible for its continuing maintenance and upkeep. We as a nation have left its care in greedy and self-serving hands. This partisan bickering is a direct reflection of our congress's focus on the next election cycle, and not the needs of the nation, or its people. If they can't pitch it, they won't do it; whether it's right or not. If they can't point a finger at someone and say, “they're bad” (as per Newt Gingrich) they clam up and ride their name recognition into office, again and again and again; focusing on nothing but getting elected again. It's just ludicrous, that we have allowed ourselves to get into this situation. I do believe most of it is because we have only two viable parties, there is no tie breaker. Nobody to build coalitions with and find the common sense, middle ground. That's a part of the “great experiment” we to this point have allowed to go so wrong.

Let's be serious here, our political system is in many ways spinning out of control and we are the pilots. So when the next election is upon us, please think before you vote. Ask yourself, how long has this person been in office? Are they effective anymore? If not and they're just riding on the coat tails of our seemingly unaware society, FIRE THEM IMMEDIATELY. Better to, as Monty Brewster (played by Richard Pryor) said in Brewster's Millions, “Vote none of the above.” than to let the “mini-monarchs” to continue. The way it is now is freakin' feudal, but not futile. I'm not naïve here and know there are other factions that benefit from this foolishness and lots of money to be made by a few who can “put their boy/girl in place.” It's up to the citizenry to make the decision to vote responsibly. Please remember I'm not saying these things to get anyone upset, or to point fingers, there is enough of that going on. I'm just telling it the way it is, as I see it. I love our nation and our democracy. It's just time for some “fall cleaning” to clear the cobwebs out. Too many ancient fingers in the pie and they're taking it away from the very people who hired them. Told you I was upset!

How will you view “representative government” today”

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 20, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 200 – November 20, 2011

“Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on.”

~Tom Jackson

So we moved. My husband still had some miles in his career and we found a company out on the “Ragged edge of the Rust Belt” that had a position to fill. We gathered our belongings, said our goodbyes and my husband got a “Go in peace” from my mother and father in-law. From my family nothing, just blank stares and a “you're leaving again?” No help packing, no goodbye; just dead air. It was done. Out here we would begin again. We had made good on many debts and fixed all that we could. But there was still much to do and much to learn about ourselves and others. You cannot un-live your past and it makes no sense to hide it. After all, the truth always is there and to deny your past is to not learn a thing from it. Time moves forward regardless of what mathematicians think and we could only hope that things would turn around. Well, that job wasn't as advertised and we learned a bit more about how rare integrity really is in the world. It seems we had still more to learn and the cost has been high, but we think worth it.

All the while, we continued to grow in love, learn about life and raise children that are far better than we could ever be. We have had feast and we have had genuine hardship. We have witnessed the worst of human selfishness and ignorance and also the most noble and selfless behavior that is possible. After each of these experiences we took the time to talk it over, do some soul searching, sometimes console each other and feel great gratitude when life brought us joyful times. All the time trying to understand the lesson that the experience had provided. We sought to not only benefit from our understanding, but to perhaps pass that hard earned wisdom along, so that others, especially our children, may avoid the dangers that we had encountered. That's why we say the things we say and can tell the stories we tell. Life's school has been an exceedingly tough taskmaster and we have paid attention. First, always hold fast to honor and dignity and never surrender integrity for someone else's agenda. They won't care, or stick by you when things get tough. We have seen how that failing has undermined the lives of so many around us. We have not gone down that road despite the enormous pressures of culture, and fair weather friends. Abraham Lincoln said, "adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did. On the contrary if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and you will regret it all your life...Stick to your purpose." And for that position the price has been high, but worth it. Better to go through hell with your head held high, than to crawl through life with your spirit defiled.

Briefly, we must acknowledge that we have met some outstanding people (spirits) in our short journey (you know who you are) and they have been shining lights in the darkest points of our lives, to those who have helped us we thank you; you are forever in our thoughts and prayers. They have set the bar high and provide hope for the rest of us, who have long journeys still ahead. We know now that our past was inevitable and the future is still unwritten, and from here we continue to learn, grow and pass along that which we have found to be true and good, regardless of source. Read if you will, so that our scars may provide some small insight and hope.

Robert Muller said, “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” It makes no since to be bitter when the lessons you learn can make you better.

What will you choose “bitter” or “better” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 19, 2011

Daily Mood Quote
Day 199 - November 19, 2011

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
~John Lennon 

Busy is the key word here today. It's funny how much can pile up when you are searching for the right words. Lots to do and only a day to do it. Like the old saying, "the best laid plans of mice and men, sometimes go astray." Perhaps it's for the best and we will have a chance to make more sense of things in the long run. So, the blog will continue tomorrow.


How will you respond to life happening today?


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Daily Mood Quotes - November 18, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 198 – November 18, 2011

Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.

~William Barclay

Endurance is nobler than strength, and patience than beauty.

~John Ruskin

Soooo, how does yesterday's story end? Well, like everything else in life, there is some good and some bad and a lot in the middle. Our situation was dire, but we thought manageable; after all we weren't a “one trick pony” and we did have other clients. Or at least we thought.... In short order the unthinkable happened; one suddenly decided they wouldn’t pay for over 180 days, another (a company with facilities on three continents) had their assets seized by their bank and yet another changed directorship and discontinued all existing vendors (without notice or payment) including us. Wow! I wish we were making this up, but it really happened and it was like living in a freakin' Greek tragedy. That was it, we had found our breaking point. With the economy in post election slide and many companies taking “the work” inside no new business could be found. We were stuck. I mean our options were zip and we had mouths to feed. Tough decisions and values judgments had to be made.

So, we helped our staff find other jobs and paid their health insurance until they did. Those were tearful goodbyes. We sold most of our possessions to pay the small vendors and freelancers and my husband took a 3^rd shift job at the nearby yogurt plant, to help cover the mortgage. At least that paid something. But times were still too tight and we began to ponder the possibility of moving back home.

Enter the biggest mistake we ever made... Our families both promised to “be our support” while we gathered our wind and got our financial feet back under us. Yes, I know that’s a cliché. After all that's what family is for... right? After several months of agonizing, wrapping up affairs and doing what was necessary to try and make ends meet, the financial and family pressure got to us and we finally capitulated to the now daily calls from our families to “come home, it will be okay.” It sounded good, that siren song of respite from the “storms of life” (thanks, Randy Travis) sung by our families. It lulled us into a trance that would prove to be the biggest challenge yet. I can still clearly recall my husband's matter of fact remark, after we finally decided to sell the house and move back... “If we do this, they will hold it over our heads for the rest of our lives.” Again red lights should have flashed in our heads and sirens should have wailed. “Please, oh please stop! There must be another way, Have faith....” But only silence followed, as we began to pack up what was left of the life we had built together, brick by brick.

When we got home it was for the first week or so, in fact a rest. We had the children to tend to and introduce to everyone; everybody seemed happy to see us, at least we thought. Then it began, first slowly like a frog in a heating frying pan the demands began. You have to come up for dinner, you have to tend to your sister’s yard, you have to go and watch you niece open presents at 7am! (after our financial disaster this did not sit well),..... you have to divorce and give us the kids! “Wait, what!” (thank you Megamind with Will Ferrell). Letting our financial troubles decide our fate and usurp our better judgement had put us in a unimaginable, unfathomable nightmare. We fought and argued, were under constant critique and apparent surveillance. We couldn’t go to the bathroom without comment from both families. My in-laws even interrupted my husband at his part-time retail job to harangue him about divorce and to go on welfare, in front of customers! It was if everyone we trusted had suddenly gone completely insane. Again, I wish this was just a dream, but it was a living nightmare. We were stalked and sabotaged and yet we held out hope that it would pass. It was as if they all were in complete denial that we were adults, in love and married, with children that were our greatest concern and responsibility. Then, as if by divine intervention, a book mysteriously arrived on our doorstep. The book was Toxic In-laws by Dr. Susan Forward and both my husband’s and my eyes were opened. Thank you to whoever sent that book and to the divine power that inspired it.

Sadly, we both saw clearly that there was no chance for quiet resolution or compromise. If we were to remain there, our lives together would forever be misery. We certainly were not going to split from soul mates and the love of our lives, each other. That is a thing that heaven grants to far too few in this world, and we knew it. We were also in no position to just get up and move, or perhaps we were... What to do? (finale tomorrow).

Into our lives challenges come, sometimes from the least expected direction. Even though life can build walls that seem insurmountable and our courses must by necessity change for a while, we must endure and move forever forward; if we are to find and experience our best selves. When we meet a life block often we must pause, like a steam behind an dam, build strength and grow in depth before we can overcome it. The key is to endure and never surrender to the wall.

How will you “endure” life's walls today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - November 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 197 – November 17, 2011

Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our values are and how great the mission they represent.

~Jan Peter Balkenende

Yesterday's blog prompted a question. I was pointedly asked, “Where do you come off making these assertions about doing the right thing? Surely, you have not lead a perfect life!” Nothing can be more true, You Bettcha! (thanks Minnesota),” My husband and I have made plenty of mistakes, who hasn’t? But, we have learned some pretty important things from our painful experience. The first is; how important it is to be be honest, candid and forthright and most importantly; always trust that feeling that clearly delineates the difference between what is right and what is wrong (our moral compass). So rather than pointing out other people's mistakes, we thought it was in all fairness, important to reveal a few of our own, to illustrate the point. “Let the chips fall where they may.” Owning up to a mistake seems to be something of a lost art in our time. People seem to go to extraordinary lengths to try to cover up failures of judgment and of ethics, which is in itself a failure of judgment and ethics. Funny how that works out.

Sooo, here we go! Where do we begin, I guess the beginning is always a good place to start. My husband is 52 years old and has 25 years in the advertising industry, about half his life and almost all of his adult life. When he started out in the 1980's he worked for one the largest public relations firms on the planet. We'll let you guess which one. They were an enormous, global organization and very successful. He was a creative (art director) and quite honestly extremely naïve, despite his education. Long story short, the agency took on a massive client, who made their living selling cigarettes. He was assigned to the account. This was something he had a major moral issue with; not a little one, a very big one. My husband had watched smoking and its effects kill members of his own family and friends; lung disease, heart disease and one unfortunate house fire. Yet, he rationalized, after all this was business, wasn't it? But in short order, a matter of months, he couldn't take it anymore. What they were doing, and saying was a complete sham, and he asked to be removed from the account. He states, “I couldn't have killed my career faster with a bullet.” Things spiraled rapidly down hill after that. Ultimately, it lead to him leaving the company by “recommendation” and then the town, because he was blackballed and his reputation was subjected to an unrelenting assault from the same people he had worked with just days earlier. The point is, my husband firmly believes that if he would have refused to work on to the account in the first place, held his head up and moved on, things would most certainly have turned out far better. At least his name would not have been smeared throughout the local ad community. He may have not been liked, because his talent was a threat, but he would have been most certainly respected and he would have maintained his self-respect. That's more important by far. My husband says he will always regret the decision of working on that account in the first place, because he knew it was wrong. He doesn't dwell on it, but he has learned from the experience. You would think...

A few years later in a new town in a different time, we started up our own agency. My husband said point blank to me, “I want to do this right! No cutting corners and I want to incorporate.” Well that didn't last very long. We went to an accountant to have him help us set up our business accounts and the very first thing he said to us was , “You don't want to incorporate, because not incorporating will provide you with “tax advantages.” You would think little red lights would have flashed inside our heads and sirens should have gone off. But no.... Despite our misgivings, we listened to the “expert.” Strike two. We were definitely down in the count, because that decision, easily qualifies as the second biggest mistake we ever made. How were we to know our little company and our family would grow so quickly. To sum it all up, in the long-run, whatever short-term “tax advantage” our “expert” thought we would gain has been supplanted by a long-term tax burden, that will take an undetermined amount of time to resolve and make good on. You would have thought we would have learned our lesson and stuck to our “do it right” position. But, the combined effects of inexperience and misplaced trust, means the story only gets deeper from here.

We switched accounting firms, to one recommended by the Chamber of Commerce, thinking that was a better call and we once again, trusted “expert advice” with our financial fate, as we were both working 17-18 hour days, while raising a family. Do you want to guess what happened? Our trusted accountant, not only didn't pay our taxes as he was supposed to do with the checks we sent through him, he also filed taxes improperly, then cleaned all the money out of our business and personal accounts and skipped town. The disaster that rolled out after that, is a novel in itself. Suffice to say, we were in a financial vise grip that was closing quickly. Still, that was only the tip of the iceberg that was to sink our little enterprise. So, we took on a catalog client; a large client who's business practices were at the very least questionable. The client extended credit to credit challenged customers, at a ridiculously high rate. They preyed on people who wanted “stuff” but lacked the sufficient funds to buy it outright. The projects were big and the money was good; at least we thought. So we worked hard, extended ourselves financially by hiring photographers, freelancers, separators and printers, based on projected income from the project(s). Even though we didn't feel particularly right about, it was a good money decision (Please refer to yesterday's post about money and decisions). This is the severe experience, like Abraham Lincoln spoke about in 1860 in his letter to George Latham, “I know not how to aid you, save in the assurance of one of mature age, and much severe experience, that you cannot fail if you resolutely determine that you will not.” Unfortunately, this says nothing about the client failing and its domino effect.

First, they wanted to cut the contracted invoice by more than 25 percent (kiss any profits goodbye), then they didn't pay the bill and drum roll please, they filed for bankruptcy. Leaving us, I would say, “high and dry” but we were “low and arid.” We had obligations to meet, and our attorney (don't even get me started on attorneys) said, “we may only see a half a cent on the dollar.” It was time to walk away.

Once again my husband said, “It would have been better had we never engaged a client against our better moral judgment and just toughed it out.” Money had made a very bad decision and the lesson here is, this was a blown moral judgment call and it has cost our family everything at that time, including bankruptcy (we think it is important to note, we are not the only people to ever file bankruptcy. We are in some pretty good company, to name a few, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln,, Donald Trump, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Charles Goodyear...to name a few. For a more extensive list go to: http://www.bankruptcylawnetwork.com/famous-people-who-filed-for-bankruptcy/). Everything that is, except for love. That endures. What made the situation worse was that...(more to follow tomorrow).

Nobody leads perfect lives. If they say they do, most assuredly they are lying... it simply cannot happen here. However, our lives can help us to understand what is truly important and what endures beyond our failures. If you have to choose; better to fail in business and grow in love and moral character, than to deny our better moral judgement and grasp at the fleeting golden calf of profit. My husband has always maintained “Contrary to the popular adage; adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it.” “And that's the ugly truth” as stated by Mike Chadway, (played buy Gerard Butler) to Abby Richter (Katherine Heigel) in The Ugly Truth. The truth may not always be pretty, but it is truly a thing of beauty in the long-run.

Will you heed your “moral compass” today?

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