Daily Mood Quotes - November 23, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 203 – November 23, 2011

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 
~Harvey Fierstein

So, why, when we do define ourselves, find our passion, others work hard to squash it? What do I mean? Here's a couple of stories; when I was an Administrative Assistant for a Vice President at a bank, the people I worked for where thrilled with my performance. I was just doing my job to the best of my ability. However, some of those around (in the same office) misread my efforts and thought me competitive and tried everything in their power (including making up stories) to undermine and sabotage my performance with my boss and those I worked with. “Hey, wait a minute, I thought we were on the same team?” It ultimately left me feeling uncomfortable, isolated and under attack, just for doing my job. Finally, the lies and the butt kissing of those who had no dignity and few job skills (all though if gossip were a viable job skill, she would have been tops in her field), lead me to the unemployment line. I was bullied out of a position that I loved and a boss, I respected. Perhaps that will work out in the long run, but right now, it still stings.

My husband went to art school and I have said before in this blog, his talent is natural, God given. He went there to learn how to make the most of the gift he was given and to follow the course that seemed right and natural for him. In that pursuit he applied himself and even helped anyone (his classmates) who needed it. Then, is his final year he found out, quite to his surprise, that everyone including those who he had helped, hated him. Really, deeply and vehemently, loathed him. They felt competitive with him and he never knew, never imagined, that this is how everyone felt. All he was doing was being focused on quality work and applying himself to the fullest. In his final year, my husband was given two of his own display cases by the faculty and administration, along with a scholarship for his efforts. In short order, he was not only hated by his peers, but by the student body as a whole and some of his instructors for his work. This revelation caused my husband to request the school remove his work from the cases. It wasn't necessarily humility, it was the shock of being reviled for a talent that he was born with. Some students in his class went from silent competition to open aggression. The comments and angry stares, the artwork defaced and supplies were taken, all in an effort to “slow him down.” Finally, he was just glad to be done with it all and begin his career where the competition was out in the open and between companies, not peers, or not. But, the damage had been done and he never really spoke to any of them again. And, when he was in a position to hire some of them later in his career, he thought the better of it and hired somebody else. In the long run, they had hurt themselves by their bully behavior.

Soooo, we've been paying attention to the work-lives and charitable efforts of friends and family and it would seem that this type of foolishness happens everyday in businesses, schools and organizations all over the country, perhaps the world. There is some small comfort in knowing our experience is not uncommon, but it begs the question. What the hell is wrong with us, that we "kneecap" people in our own organizations, classrooms, families and culture, defeating the larger purpose, in effort to hold someone else back, instead of trying to be better ourselves? 

The point is, if grownups are continually bullying other adults, instead of acting like civilized people, no matter the career, then they aren't very grownup at all, are they? Schoolyard bullies never grow up it seems. It doesn’t matter if you are 20 or 60, if people believe there is only one way to effectively compete, not by better performance and greater effort, but by attacking and belittling those who would do good; it is no surprise that our educational, business and political systems are failing around us. Why do we find it necessary to diminish people and coworkers with passion, talent and skill? My husband says, “It is the fear that is within people that drives this behavior. Fear of inadequacy, fear of having to put forth a greater effort than the bare minimum and that is a self-perpetuating, cultural crisis.” he followed that with, “It has been said that love of money is the root of all evil," true enough. But, fear is its progenitor and is the bitter seed that grows into the poisonous weed of evil, by way of jealousy, hate and bullying.” I have only two questions: What are we afraid of? Do we really "hate" the gifts that others are given, be it a teacher, a co-worker, or even a friend? If we do, then shame on us...

How will you view the "gifts" of others today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading