Monday, December 19, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 19, 2011

 
Daily Mood Quote
Day 226 – December 19, 2011

Lost time is never found again.
~Benjamin Franklin

A few weeks ago, I was informed that my father had cancer. Today, I was told, my father will die shortly and the only thing that can be done is to make him comfortable. First, I would like to thank everyone who reads daily mood quotes, those who have sent e-mails with questions and comments, all my Facebook Friends on Daily Mood Quotes Facebook page and my Twitter followers. Writing this blog is an enjoyable and exciting part of my daily activities.

Unfortunately, I will be taking some time off, because I would very much like to spend time with my father; his time is very short. As I have said before, my father is a wonderful man, he adopted me, gave me his name and raised me as his own child. He never made me feel unwanted, or that I didn't belong. Over the past seven years, since my mother's passing, my father and I had an opportunity to reconnect and we became friends. He is a wonderful, caring, loving man that I have had the gift to call “my dad.” The doctors say, he doesn’t have much time (hours – days), so I will take that remaining time and share it with my father, sisters and brother. Then we will say goodbye, except for me, I don't like to say goodbye. I'll just say “see ya later dad.”

Because, I will be away from my computer (it's a desktop, not a laptop) and focused on my family, I will not be blogging Daily Mood Quotes for the rest of December. Family is priority during this difficult time. I will be back on January 1, 2012 with more quotes, more movie quotes and great stories for the new year.

I would very like to wish everyone who reads Daily Mood Quotes a very Happy and Safe Holiday season. A personal message; Life is short make the most of it. My dad is in his mid 70's and I had hoped that we would have more time. But, that was not to be. Life is meant to be shared, enjoyed and cherished. Don't wait until it's too late to begin living a life that was meant to be shared, enjoyed and cherished with those you love and those who love you. See you in New Year.

Happy Holiday,
from Daily Mood Quotes

How will you use your time today?

Tune in on January 1, 2012 to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quote - December 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quote
Day 225 - December 17, 2011


Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish.
~Marcus Aurelius

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heat.
~Marcus Aurelius

Today, was different, that which I didn't think I could handle, I accomplished. Now it is time for the holiday break. Unfortunately, my father's health is rapidly deteriorating and it looks as if it won't be long. I wish I had more to say. Maybe tomorrow. 

Tune in tomrrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Friday, December 16, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 16, 2011

  
Daily Mood Quote
Day 224 – December 16, 2011

Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no mater how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you're generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make.
~Donald Trump

I am really not a big fan of Donald Trump, especially politically, or in his recent feud with Rosie O'Donnell. It seems as if it is all showmanship and not much substance. But, as I have often stated, I report the truth, no matter it's source. In this particular case, Mr. Trump's observations about experience and when to pull back on the reigns make good sense.

So, it seems to me that he is absolutely right about listening to your gut. Providing your gut has been properly trained and educated. It's that little voice inside that is supposed to keep us from making big errors in our lives and help us along the way. But so many, so often, ignore it and plow ahead in spite of the warnings. It's usually when they believe that they are going to get something for little, or nothing. Even though they know better “somewhere inside.” Another thing about Mr. Trump's quote that I like is that you are usually better off sticking with things you know. The great thing about our world and the internet is that if you really want to learn something, to “know it,” you can. That however, requires an investment of time, energy, and in many cases much due diligence to get the “hang of it.” And finally, sometimes it is better to just walk away from situations that clash with those first two points. If your gut tells you no, and your experience and education point in a different direction than where the “investment”( time, energy, romance, whatever) is going, it is better by far to simply “put your foot down” and say in the words of Mr. Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) in the movie by J.J. Abrams Star Trek , “Not particularly, not this time.” Not much else to say about this quote, but a lot to think about.

I've had periods in my life when I've had a bundle of ideas come along, and I've had long dry spells. If I get an idea next week, I'll do something. If not, I won't do a damn thing.”
~Warren Buffet

The hardest part about life can be those in the middle times, where inspiration vanishes and leaves us working with just “what we know,” hoping the little light inside our heads comes back on sometime soon. I believe that everybody has different skills and gifts, but so often they go nowhere without inspiration. People can attribute inspiration to a higher power, or to background (subconscious) processing, that's not the point here (perhaps it is the subject of another blog). The point is that inspiration is a rare an wonderful thing, which can and often does yield fantastic results. We see this in our daily lives and in industry where genuine innovation and positive change are such rare “blips on the radar.” It rightfully should be embraced...but timing also counts, per Mr. Trump's observations. Few if any of us can generate a constant flowing stream of inspired anything, so its best to be ready for the right idea, right time. Even noted innovators like Steve Jobs put out some clunkers occasionally, because an idea may be genius, but the timing isn't right. Does anyone remember “The Newton” PDA, the first tablet platform from Apple? Sometimes even great ideas need to wait awhile, incubate and allow enough time to be relevant. Now there are tablets, tablets everywhere!

The “in the middle times” are great opportunities to prepare for the next inspired moment, by gaining patience, education, experience and the wisdom to recognize not only the “what,” but the “when.” I suspect that when Mr. Buffet says he's “not doing a damn thing,” he's doing a lot more than sitting like a stump staring off into space (although sometimes that's a good thing too). Life gives us times to gain strength and gather nutrients, both physical and spiritual and times to use those nutrients to grow though positive inspired effort. Experience gives us the wisdom to know when to do which.

How will you view your “gut feeling” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 15, 2011

 
Daily Mood Quote 
Day 223 – December 15, 2011

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”
~Jim Carrey

Yet, the belief persists that “money makes you happy.” In reality it causes the greedy to become greedier, the selfish to become more selfish and those who want to want more. All based on a fundamental belief that happiness is externally generated and requires money, or “stuff,” or even the cooperation of other people. Grandma Anna Mary Robertson Moses, a renowned American folk artist said, “life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” So, once you get above the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter (Maslow's hierarchy of needs) happiness is pretty much a self-generated thing. Happiness is a choice, I promise you, buying that “one more thing” will not guarantee happiness, because once that “need” is fulfilled, there is always another one to immediately take its place.

I have often told my children two things; Number One: money doesn't buy happiness, it provides you with peace of mind.” With it , you don't have to worry about paying your bills, losing the roof over your head, or putting food on the table, but it won't, can't, make you happy. That said, happiness comes from within, its a journey you choose to undertake. Number Two: “Do what you love and the money will come.” Yes, this usually requires an education and although many educated people right now are unemployed, I still believe ultimately the education will work out to their advantage. It will provide choices, opportunities and open paths that may have never been available had they not gained the education. The key is to make sure that you really do love the work, not the money. Big difference. All careers require work, dedication and continued effort to yield good results, both internally and externally. So many people, far too many, both young and old I have met are doing jobs they loath. They hate the people they work with, they despise their boss and feel trapped by life's circumstances, just because they feel the “need” to “keep up with the Jones'” and they have got to get the 60 inch surround sound, blu-ray disk, high definition home theater experience....in a one bedroom apartment the size of a shoe box. What's wrong with this picture? I do have a question here, after you purchase what you want, how long does that happiness last? Ten minutes, an hour, a day, a week, a month, what?...

One of the reason this particular observation came about today is because yesterday I overheard a mom say to her daughter, “If I buy this for you, will it make you happy?” The daughter emphatically replied, “Yes!” Really, until the next big thing, latest, greatest, must have comes out, right? I think its the wrong message being sent here. Happiness is a verb not a noun; it requires action and effort, not placation. That two minute excitement you feel when you buy something you want is not happiness, temporary gratification doesn't last. Have we become a nation of “stuff junkies” can't wait until our next shopping trip, the next big score? As I recently said, I have seen people garages jammed packed with stuff and yet to read their faces and body language, the misery radiates off them. It's unmistakeable and really quite sad.

In the movie Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey (Bruce) and Jennifer Aniston (Grace), Bruce is a news reporter with a beautiful girlfriend who adores him, a dog, and a nice apartment. He's successful by every measure of today's standards. But he wasn't satisfied or happy, because he wanted the anchor job and more, more and more and he blamed God for his unhappiness. So, “God” (portrayed by Morgan Freeman), granted Bruce ultimate power. With this “ultimate power” Bruce helped himself, “righting a few wrongs” as he put it, but he only helped himself and no one else, and you know what happened...well I recommend you see the movie, it is awesome. But until you do and to briefly sum it up, he wasn't happy at all. Not even ultimate power can “make someone happy” that's just the way it is.

I guess my point here today is, happiness has nothing to do with “stuff.” I believe that's important to remember in this holiday season and every day of the year. There really is only one path to happiness and it is internal. We have to make the choice to be a happy and work at it daily, it isn't a given, it doesn't come in a box or even in another person or deity. It's a habit that we cultivate and grow; by not only “doing what we love” but by doing life from love. Like Danny Kaye said, Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

How will you paint happiness today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 14, 2011

Daily Mood Quote
Day 222 – December 14, 2011

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.
~Helen Keller

Every year my children ask me, “Mom, what do you want for Christmas?” Every year my answer is the same, 26 years the same...” healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband” is my answer. So, this year my children prefaced their question with, “Mom, besides healthy, happy children and a healthy, happy husband, what would you like for Christmas this year?” Wow, I didn't see that one coming, they are catching on to me. It's not as easy to dodge their quick, minds. Okay, “my smart children” I said, with a chuckle, “let me think about it and I'll get back to you.” I did get back to them a few days later, and to their surprise, it was an unexpected answer. At least I thought so. I didn't want jewelry, I'm not a show piece. I didn't want clothes, that's an ongoing battle, me and my weight. I don't want a gift card, because as my husband say's, “you'll just spend it on the kids anyway.” Between you and me I think they secretly count of that. The jig was up when I got a gift card to Old Navy, giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle...

Anyway, I have a pair of slippers that I bought myself on clearance last year at Kohl's. They are light blue, such soft quilted material, size 6 (I have freakishly small feet for an adult woman) and the most comfortable pair of slippers I have ever worn in my life. They are my constant companion. I wear them to get the mail, to drive (my husband drives, I tag along) the kids to school, to sit out back while watching the dogs and every minute of every day around the house. “If I was walking', I was walking'” in my comfy slippers. Here we are a year later, I still have my slippers and they are still comfortable; as comfortable as one can have wearing tattered rags and shards of plastic on your feet. Okay, they're a little worse for wear an tear, torn-up and there really isn't much left where the rubber meets the road. My family refers to them as “mom's ventilated slippers.” Holes fore and aft (thanks U.S. Navy for the nautical lingo lessons). If they were boats, they would have sank a long time ago.

I must admit it's mostly my fault that I walk around in perforated papuče (Slovak), as I can't give them up, even when I know they are long beyond serviceable. It drives my family just about crazy, because when I find something comfortable to wear, I usually wear it until way past it's natural lifetime and in many cases, it bears little resemblance to the article that it once was. Such is the case of my slippers. But let's face, there really isn't much out there that I find comfortable - slipper wise. I'm picky and you never know when “good ones” like them may come around...so I hang onto my little, blue slippers like dear, old friends. Anyway, my husband can't point a finger as his slippers are now held together with duct tape...no really!

But, I digress, I asked them for slippers and now I silently wait to see what they will come up with and will they measure up to my “high standards?" Although, I have heard some good things about the L.L. Bean, Wicked Good Slippers. But, they're a bit “costy” for the kids, I know my husband will chip in, he's the Dad and that's what dad's do. No matter, it truly is the thought that counts and in that respect they have already given me a fantastic gift, without buying a thing; they think of me and my needs. Whatever they choose, I hope they'll keep the receipt, so that I can quietly return them, sneak back to Kohl's to dig through the clearance bin and find my slipper soul mates once again. Then, I'll spend the balance on the kids. I know they'll understand, that's just how I roll (thank you Ian, played by David Cross in Alvin and the Chipmunks).

What “counts” with you today”

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 13, 2011

Daily Mood Quote
Day 221 – December 13, 2011

“Success is...Knowing your purpose in life, Growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.”
~John Maxwell

Define success, or what we believe to be success: It can be viewed in real, spiritual and sometimes completely fictitious ways, just like modern physics! Some define success as having money and financial wherewithal, others with power and social or political influence. Other are more visual (I'll pass on the term superficial for now) and define success by the cars we drive and the clothes we wear. They put a powerful emphasis on the physical, external attributes of their lives. Like houses without furniture these people focus on the exterior image, curb appeal and mortgage their values and self-worth to create an exterior shell of perceived success. Question: What good is it to have a house you can barely afford, if you can't hang curtains on the windows, or furnish it properly? I have seen real brick and mortar houses in affluent neighborhoods, with sheets for window covers. Its kind of sad really. I have also seen people who are much the same...that's past sad and into tragic. Is it to say, hey I have a house (note: I didn't say home, there is a vast difference) in this posh, affluent neighborhood, knowing they can never allow anyone inside, because they have no furniture in the rooms, or curtains on the windows? But, hey they have the house? I guess they've got to start somewhere, or in many cases, start at the top and work their way backwards. You'll fill it up eventually right? Obviously, lots of folk have clear cut cases of what might be termed “backward prioritizing.” Of course there is also the other version of this scenario, where houses, garages, storage areas and every other nook and cranny are jam packed with “stuff” that is never used, broken and never quite discarded. Even if that means creating a hazard to life and limb, they hang onto stuff that has no good use in their life. This is true in too many cases, both physical and metaphysical. Or, are we using all these things to define our self-image, because our image is directly tied into our misplaced concept of self-worth?

Wayne Dyer said, “Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Yet, so often our self-worth is something we allow others to control. I know of several people, young and old who suffer from depression, because they worry so much about what others think, desperately seeking approval, acceptance, that sense of belonging they attribute to self-worth. “When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose your self-worth in the process” said Dave Pelzer. I for one understand wanting to belong. It is a natural human drive, we are for better or worse herd animals. The “lone wolves” of the world often have little choice in the matter. Mostly its not because they value their self image, its because they don't, or haven’t been able to separate self-worth from self involvement, they are not the same. In more cases than not self-worth develops from reaching out, not gazing within. From standing firm on principle, not from naval gazing.

As I see it, success really has little to do with what stuff one has, it has everything to do with how we perceive the path we have walked and what we have learned from it. Knowing that where we are headed is more important than where we have been. “Stuff” and peoples infatuation with it can be a chain, or an anchor if one is of a nautical mind, that keeps us from moving forward. Or, it can be a tool to help us along. Perception is the difference. I learned several years back that fortune can be fleeting and money counts for little if you lose your health, or even worse fail to teach the next generation how to be better than we have been. To that respect, we have been blessed with children that exceed our expectations on every level, including solid foundations of self-image and the understanding that all the “stuff” in the world can't replace a hug from a loved one. And the “do the right thing” sometimes, most times, involves a little up front sacrifice, but it usually yields tremendous long-term benefits for everyone involved. Kind of like investing in the soul. Every once in a while, somebody may fool them and their feelings could get hurt. But, when people “do the right thing” for the right reasons, they always gain self-worth and a bit of wisdom, even if they never hear a thank you. That's successful living.

So, to the man who drives the BMW, drops his child off at school and them proceeds to flip the finger at walkers in his path and to the woman who screams at her daughter in public, then treats people rudely and disrespectfully, and to the many who spread gossip in front of their children, in effort to fit in, or build their self up at the expense of others, I have a quote for you. Virginia Satir said, “Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what message they are sending.” How do you think their children will define success? It's a slippery slope....generation after generation spinning downward to the lowest and the meanest, instead of upward toward the best we can be.

What will define your self-worth today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Monday, December 12, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 12, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 220 – December 12, 2011

“A system is a network of interdependent components that work together to try to accomplish the aim of the system. A system must have an aim. Without the aim, there is no system.”
~W. Edwards Deming

Now all we need to do is add an “ing” to the word network and the connotation changes. A recent conversation with a friend reminded me “that it isn't what you know, but who you know. You have to network, networking is how people get jobs.” Okay, can someone tell why I have spent nearly six years in college to earn a Bachelor's and Master's Degrees? Should I drop out now? Or, maybe I should change my major to include classes like, butt-kissing-101, how to schmooze your abusive boss-201, or, how to get a raise by learning to play golf-301. Tell me my friends what is broken about this “system?”

So it follows, that the best people for the job, apparently aren't the ones getting the jobs. So, why are there still colleges around, if getting a job is based on who you know and not what you know? I don't know about you, but this depresses me...aaalotttt (thank you Peanut from Jeff Dunham). I understand that people need to have good communications skills and it certainly never hurts to “play well with others.” But apparently getting work is based on being somebody’s brother's cousin's niece's second aunt's sorority friend's best buddy, or something like that. That's six degrees of separation I wish were seven! I would like to know, when did networking take the place of actual knowledge, skill and experience? As for me, my experiences in networking have all too often turned my stomach, because it requires people (especially where I live) to go out after work and drink with others they work with. And to quote Bartok the bat from the animated movie Anastasia “This can only end in tears!” A lot of gossip occurs in these outings and that's not something I want to be a part of, in the business world, or in any other part of my life. Gossip is corrosive-period. I have seen too many people's careers and lives destroyed, because of something they said or did, under the influence of alcohol. Even if you don't drink, things you say are often twisted against you in these scenarios. It's simply not worth it. There is an old saying, “With friends like “that” who needs enemies?” I guess when you have been stabbed in the back a few times, you have a cautious wall between you and unpleasant networking “opportunities.” The point is that if everyone is networking and working the system when the heck is anything useful getting done? Kind of explains one reason for a sagging economy... don't it?

So, let's talk about social networking via the internet. I belong to a few social network sites; Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter and they too have their pros and cons. First the pros; if you have something to say, you get the opportunity to say it without interruptions (that's another blog for later), and you have a hard copy of what you said, so if your words would ever be twisted, you have the proof you need (sad we need to think like that). And it lets people connect with others with similar interests and even old friends. That's great and I am grateful for that. On the con side; it also opens you up to bullying, and online attacks, and everything you say online can end up as public record, to use as ammunition against you by random people, human resources departments and even potential vendors and lenders. Plus, there is the ever present specter of identity theft. Additionally, I have found that many human resources managers and executives hide behind the digital wall to exclude quality candidates from positions they are eminently qualified for, except for when they are someone's brother's, sister's cousin's niece’s nephew, who is looking for a job. Oooops sorry, that only happens here. Best to tread lightly through the digital minefield.

The point is, if we do not begin to assess people by what they know and how much they care, we run the risk of being at the mercy of people who may network great, but can't, or won't work worth a darn. Wrong skill set. Wrong attitude often leads to lost profits and high turnover. Erica Albright (played by Rooney Mara) said it best when she said to Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg) in the Movie The Social Network, “I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.” I guess I just don't get it. Hiring a “network friend” is like hiring family, it's just bad business. Didn't former President George W. Bush hire many of his friends? See where that got us! Hmmm, enough said.

How will you view networking today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 11, 2011

Daily Mood Quote
Day 219 – December 11, 2011

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Gee whizz, I really hate to wax political, its such an unseemly mess and there are way too many blogs dedicated to polarized sides of any political issue. But, I must tell you that I have been distantly following the Republican Presidential primary, with indifference and a healthy dose of skepticism. I know that historically these things are at very best a popularity contest, won by the candidate who is willing to bend the lowest and pander to the fears and greed of socially disconnected, special interest groups. For the past thirty years, the Republican party has progressively distanced itself from anything that remotely resembles the genuine will or needs of the people of the Unites States of America. Ostensively, the party's leaders have been focused almost exclusively on the narrow financial interest of a small group of self-serving, ideologists (I would say idiots, but...) that have bastardized the American ideal and transplanted it with a twisted, mono-partisan and greed driven perspective. I hasten to remind, that when Mr. Gingrich was Speaker of the House, the split between parties became a gaping chasm. His rhetoric is corrosive, destructive and completely ignorant. If you don't believe me, check this out. If it sounds a bit harsh I can't really apologize, because it isn't nearly as harsh as the viewpoints expressed by him.

The following recent statements are from the front running Republican Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich.

"Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works so they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday. They have no habit of staying all day. They have no habit of 'I do this and you give me cash,' unless it's illegal."

“I think that we’ve had an invented Palestinian people who are in fact Arabs, and who were historically part of the Arab community,” said Gingrich. “And they had a chance to go many places, and for a variety of political reasons we have sustained this war against Israel now since the 1940s, and it’s tragic.”

Ummm. “Stupid is as stupid does” as Forrest Gump (played by Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump) would so eloquently profess. It really needs no further explanation, or comment. However, I say what's on my mind (it is a daily mood quote), so here it goes. First of all, no child rich or poor, aspires to poverty, for that matter I suspect neither do their parents. He has blithely disrespected and turned a blind eye to millions, not thousands, but millions (if not billions globally), of working poor; the honest, hardworking people who have not had the advantages, that I might add, where given to him to start their lives. Need examples? What about the children of working single moms who have two, or sometimes three jobs and yet still struggle to make ends meet? What about the children of split shift working fathers who may work sixty hours a week and are not paid a fair and equitable wage for their efforts because of the inequities of the system? What about those, through no fault of their own, are unemployed and can't find work? Does he know how fast savings evaporate, when you are unemployed and trying to keep a roof over your head, while trying to feed those “poor” children? Poor can come at you fast and hard, without mercy. But, I guess he wouldn't know that having almost his entire life paid for, from his teen years on. And, I might add, for the most part, paid for by the tax money wrenched away from the “poor” people he just spit on.

Dalai Lama said, “Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace” well, these two statements demonstrate true slavery to ignorance. Is this really the best America has to offer for Presidential candidates? Are you freakin' kidding me (thanks Mike C.)? What kind of peace can an idiot like this make? What I find so surprising is that Mr. Gingrich has a PhD and taught History and Geography at West Georgia College in the 1970's. Apparently, he learned nothing but how to twist the arms of political contributors and manipulate the easily swayed. I think a quote from Maya Angelou would be appropriate here, “My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors." I think that says it best.

To end my little rant: In my opinion, Newt Gingrich is a political prostitute, pandering for money to advance his campaign's “war fund.” He'll say or do anything, without thought to the consequences, to achieve his goals. Do you honestly think the rest of the world's memory is as failing as our attention deprived voters? Can you image what would happen, if he spoke like that at the United Nations? He does not represent the nation. Nor should he ever... Mr. Gingrich, shame on you and your ignorance.

Will you think before you speak today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading






Saturday, December 10, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 10, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 218 - December 10, 2011

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

Today, I was out an about doing the holiday thing. I saw some unhappy people, maybe stressed about the holidays, I don't know. Then I heard a mom say to a friend when describing her child, "he's happy today, because he's doing what he wants." Really, that's what makes a person happy? Hmmm I don't believe that's quite right either. A friend once said to me, "happiness doesn't come from what you do, it comes from within. If your not happy with yourself, then you have no chance of ever being happy." I took that to mean: Other people, stuff and activities alone can't make you happy, you have to be happy with yourself first. You can and should however enjoy the other things. But, let's face it if you aren't happy to start with there is a good chance that external things aren't going to make it happen. How many people do you see doing things that are supposed to be "fun" that look like they are utterly miserable? Far, far too many. There is a big difference between entertainment and happiness.  The former is ephemeral and situational, the latter lasting, irrespective of the situation.

In the movie Legally Blonde, Elle (played by Reese Witherspoon) said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." I would think a happy person wouldn't shoot their husband, but hey, it's just a movie... good thing too. We can do many things to help us become happy, but the very first thing is to accept oneself as you are; The Good the Bad and the Ugly (thanks Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef). Rejoice in the good, effort to reverse the bad and find the hidden beauty in the ugly.

I believe that happiness is something we have to work on daily. It isn't handed to us on a silver platter, but a fundamental decision that we make everyday. Like Shirlee Kenyon (played by Dolly Parton) said in the movie Straight Talk, "Why even the Declaration of Independence only guaranties life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say anything about fair. Doesn't even say you have the right to be happy. Just to pursue it" Happiness is an action verb, not a noun; it's a work in progress, not a destination. Practice it and it will eventually become a positive life habit and that's a good thing.

 How will you "practice happiness" today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Friday, December 9, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 9, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 217 – December 9, 2011

Rebellion against your handicaps get you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world – making the most of one's best.
~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Okay so, none of us are perfect!! We all have varying degrees of imperfection; some visible, some not-so visible, and all too many have spiritual handicaps. Even the person who can look in the mirror, and see a perfect physique, surrounded by all the riches of the world can and often do have inside them a vast wasteland of confusion and longing. Just look at the trail of "A list" celebrities that are emotional train wrecks. An emptiness despite the wealth, despite the superficial appearance of completion and fulfillment, people can still be unhappy, handicapped. So, yes in some way we are all handicapped.

The key is and the great journey of our lives is, to overcome those handicaps that we are born with, or that we may acquire over the course of our lives. The great battle lies not without, but within. Our attitudes about our selves and our possibilities can become either an ally and trusted companion along this journey, or they can be the potholes, snares and barriers that we meet along the way. Our attitudes about other people, our attitudes about ourselves, our attitudes about life and it's meaning are all under our control. Attitude is the mechanism of free will that does the real heavy lifting in our lives.

John Maxwell said, “Attitude determines success or failure.” In his book Attitude 101, he eludes to the fact that attitudes are learned and once they're acquired, not so easily changed. But he also says that they can however be changed with commitment, energy and a little faith. It may not be easy, but I believe its worth the effort. In the book, Maxwell mentions road signs in Northern Canada that read “Driver, please choose carefully which rut you drive in, because you'll be in it for the next 20 miles.” That could just as easily read, “Life traveler, please choose carefully which attitude you pick, because you'll be stuck with it for the next 20 years...at least.”

The point is, I believe that for every handicap in a person's life, the universe provides and equal and opposite gift. If you think about it some of the most noted people in history, have overcome physical, mental and emotional handicaps to achieve greatness beyond their more apparently gifted peers. If you read history (a passion of mine) Mozart overcame what would today be classified as ADHD and depression, to become arguably the most noted composer in history. Helen Keller, who was struck deaf and blind, understood and expressed more about humanity than most of us who can see and hear. In today's world Stephen Hawking, confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, has helped science to unlock the mysteries of the universe. Although, I also believe bitterness has colored his conclusions about the spirit somewhat. I heard a saying on NCIS Los Angeles a week or two ago, I think it went like this, "Haters gotta hate." To be honest, I never felt sorry for someone so successful, until I read excerpts from his latest book. There is a palpable sense of abandonment that drifts through his writing. But, I am not a book critic and this is not a book review. Just my observation.

One more point John Maxwell makes that I agree with, “In order to achieve your dreams, you must embrace adversity (your disabilities) and make failure a regular part of your life. If you're not failing, you're probably not really moving forward. It is one of my beliefs that all of us are presented with handicaps of one manner, or another and that they are all necessary catalysts that are there to help propel us forward on our great journey. When people let their disabilities stop them, instead of accepting and embracing them, they deny themselves a true and necessary guide to finding their bigger purpose and best possible self.

What "possibilities" will you discover today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 8, 2011

 Daily Mood Quote
Day 216 - December 8, 2011

Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
~ Thomas Jefferson

I believe that somehow the concept of why this particular holiday season exists has been completely lost in the tidal wave of consumerism and mass marketing that has enveloped our nation. Everywhere I have been over the last three days I have seen and noted more miserable faces and impatient people than I could have ever imagined. They are on the roads and sidewalks, in the stores and even at holiday events. I have to ask, where did patience and good cheer go? I understand that we all have busy lives and there are expectations of us to be here, or there, to do this, or that and many have very foolishly embraced the concept of “I'll rest when I'm dead” as a mantra for modern living, but “in the course of human events (Yes, I borrowed that from the Declaration of Independence),” we have unwittingly transformed a season of thanks into a season of anger and angst. The problem is that it isn't just the normal family holiday infighting, or other small squabbles, that is causing this angst; that's just life. Its the guy in the Escalade SUV behind you, waving his fist furiously and tailgating all the way into the store's parking lot, then running by you into the store, or the shopper with carts full of gifts (you know they are gifts, because no 40 year old needs a Pillow Pet), who while cursing, plows over an older lady who might be moving a bit slower than light speed. I have personally witnessed both in the past two days.

Granted, I have been a bit distracted myself with my father's frail condition and the weight of the holidays bearing down, but gee whiz, I'm convinced things have gotten completely off track in regards to the Christmas season. I see lots of holiday “action,” with little or no holiday spirit out there. It misses the point completely. Its sad and more than a bit disconcerting. Its like giving somebody an ultra lousy birthday party, by doing everything completely opposite of their wishes. Do you think this is what Jesus of Nazareth had in mind when he said “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you (NIV)”? Doesn’t make sense does it? Yet, invariably from the end of November to the end of December it seems as if otherwise decent people embrace the foulest and lowest of behaviors; all to get the deal, get the gift and shove in line ahead of the other guy...for Christmas!!! It really baffles me. 

There have been people giving Christmas gifts for two thousand years and in some way shape or form, they will be presumably doing so for the rest of human history. Who do they think they are getting “ahead of” and how does that relate to the meaning of the holiday? I really don't think the three wise men raced each other to get “there” first, but what do I know. All I know is that it seems like a really crappy way to celebrate anything, let alone a birthday. And for the record, I do not hold the “organized churches” to blame here. There is something else that drives this schizophrenic social behavior and it/they may be found cowering around the feet of Charles Dickens' “Christmas Present” apparition (the story is as relevant today as it was when written). They are the twin specters of "want" and "ignorance" and they have been silently, yet virulently with us all these long centuries, since before any organized religion, before the Nazarene walked on earth and before Dickens' story. I believe, they are artifacts of our early evolution that have hung around like viral DNA and have found ways to undermine and ruin humanity's best attempts at civilization. We need an antidote for our own baser psychologies. “Want:” is anything we don’t have and believe will somehow make things “better,” or equal to someone, or something else. “What a crock! (thanks Three Men and a Baby).” “Ignorance:” she soothes the mind and tells us “it's okay, what you don't know can't hurt you.” But in fact ignorance is a congenital liar who cannot tell a truth. They are both vestigial functions that creeped into our brain structure, when we as a species, began to pull ourselves out of the mud. It is one thing to be motivated, we need that, but the stop switch isn't working yet. And, we can't process everything all the time, there is just too much, but a door to tightly shut keeps both light and sustenance out.

So, with that said, I can't say I have an answer. But, I suspect that author James Allen may have had at least a clue when he combed through history and said. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” So, where is the tranquility gene?

How will you “be calm” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 7, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 215 – December 7, 2011

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
~Buddha

For as long as I can remember, my father always said, “It's God's will” and we shouldn't mess with that. I agree with this and in many ways I disagree with it as well; especially when it comes to losing someone you love. I understand and accept the circle of life, parents, children, the process of life and the world, but it doesn't mean I have to like everything about it. Death is an inevitable part of life and eventually we all will succumb to it. Some of us will have the gift of a long life and others will not be as fortunate. My father is in his late seventies and has had many roles in his life. The best role...father to five girls and one son. He was never rich or famous, and if you saw him on the street chances are you would walk right by him. What you don't know is that my father is one of the most patient men the world may ever see. He not only quietly dealt with my moms issues, he also had to survive four teenage daughters at the same time. The yelling, the fighting, the arguing over clothes, and yes even the fun. We were a family and we endured struggles just like any other family, except we always had dad to lean on. He rarely ever raised his voice, and never his hand, but he had a firm hand with his children none-the-less. Sadly, my dad and I went many years without talking, not through any fault of his own; my mother and I were at odds and that put a kink in our relationship. But in the last seven years since mom's passing, my dad and I have reconnected and had the gift of many conversations.

He was there when I needed someone to talk to, he prayed for me when my appendix ruptured, he listened to me cry when my husband was diagnosed with a painful, life-long medical condition. He always had a kind word. He always had time for all of us, even his grandchildren, whom he would send a birthday card and holiday gifts to every year. Most recently he sent a birthday card with $20.00 to my daughter, even though he knew he was dying. He never thought of himself; always everyone else. He set an example of modesty, humility and true servant leadership that would be hard to match, even though I don't recall him going to church very often, if at all. He lived his beliefs without fanfare, or lip service. Yesterday, my sister shared a story with me, that made me cry. My dad for the first time ever, bought himself a gift, it was a red shirt that had a picture of Santa with some words on it. It is the first time I ever heard of my dad buying himself a gift...ever.

The thing I am remembering the most is how dad use to make us laugh. He would always come home from work with a daily joke, often about (what he called) bus people. Dad truly despised taking the bus, but he didn't drive and we lived too far away for him to walk to work; or at times the weather was just too cold. So, he rode the bus and noticed people and instead of criticizing, insulting or categorizing them, he observed their behaviors and found great humor in the variety of interactions that he saw. He saw everything down to the most minute detail. That's a gift. His stories were amazing and his sense of humor was non-stop.

Tony Robbins says, “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” My dad never appeared to have much more than just enough to get by, yet he gave to the world much, much more than it ever gave him. He gave us all a warm home, food and clothes (imagine providing clothes and accessories for five teenage daughters), a solid foundation of common sense, morals, values and a sense of fair play. And more than I can innumerate in love, compassion and patience. Those are riches beyond price; thank you dad.

As I have stated in an earlier blog, my dad is not my biological dad, he adopted me when I was five years old. He didn't have to do this, he did it because he wanted to and I can tell you without equivocation, my dad is my dad and never once did he make me feel like I didn't belong. Years pass and things happen in all families, some good and some, we'll what we choose to remember is up to us. I guess what I am saying here is, it doesn't matter; love is love and it is rare, and we never know when that gift will be taken away from us. So, take the time to share a moment with a loved one, have a conversation, forgive if it is needed and hug each other, because someday that opportunity, that gift of shared time will pass and it will never come around again. I believe Clarence (played by Henry Travers) in the movie It's a Wonderful Life said it best, “Remember, George no man is a failure who has friends.” Or family, and my dad has both. Thank you for reading about my dad and thank you to my dad for saying yes to me and becoming my parent, guardian, mentor and friend.

What will you remember today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes - December 6, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 214 – December 6, 2011

“Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.”
~Unknown Author

It is the holiday season and everyone I know has something they love about this season. I'm no different. I like the decorations and the television holiday specials like; It's a Wonderful life with James Stewart and A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott, but the thing I like the most is the music. My favorite holiday song is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Many of us have sung this song at one time or another in our life, but do we ever “listen” to the words and understand their meaning? When I was a child, I would sing the songs and never really pay attention to the meaning. I knew the words of the song, but never what the song was saying. It wasn't until I was an adult that it hit me like a lightening bolt. I was in the military and a co-worker said to me after we finished singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (badly, both out of tune and maybe a little tone deaf), “do you know what that song means?” My response was, “its a song, it has no meaning, you sing it and then your done.” Being young, inexperienced and naïve I thought I had that answer down pat. Boy, was I wrong. My co-worker, who was from another country, told me the song was about acceptance, or in Rudolph's case, not being accepted because he was different. I must tell you, this was my very first lesson in human diversity and I was ashamed that I fell into the category of being blithely unaware.

You see, I grew up in a racially mixed and culturally diverse neighborhood. My friends had parents that came from all walks of life and their surnames read like a map of the world. So, I never gave a second thought to how most people view others, who may be of different race or religion. To me they were always just people. I was more interested in if they behaved in a civilized manner, than where their ancestors may have called home. This, like all human action, was/is both good and bad. First, to so many ancestral culture is a source of deep pride and identity. To ignore that is to miss out on the fundamental essence of the person(s) humanity, their unique gifts and the necessity of diverse points of view and that's not really fair. But on the good side, seeing everyone as equal from the start levels the playing field and provides a baseline of behaviors for peaceful co-existence.

The late Martin Luther King Junior said in his landmark speech, “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."” The speech in its entirety is an oratorial masterpiece in my opinion and its point is clear. We all need to adjust our viewpoints to be inclusive, not exclusive. We all need to be open to change and the benefits of a free and open society. More importantly, we all need to rise and live up to the promise of freedom and justice, that those brave souls in our military still fight for today. It is good to remember that we are in fact all descendents of immigrants. This holds true for every corner of the country and quite honestly the entire globe. Our not too distant ancestry is common (biologically speaking) and all of humanity has emigrated to where we find ourselves now.

I think it's disconcerting and eerily ironic that in the case of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, “poor Rudolf” was excluded from everything until there was a dire need and he the only solution. Well shame on those ignorant reindeer and even to Santa for fostering an atmosphere of exclusion (at least in the song)... I still deeply believe in the Spirit of Christmas. We have real issues in this nation and in the world; it is a shame that we are letting our petty differences, especially where we may have come from, interfere with the common and urgent needs of humanity. You never know when the next urgent need will arise in your life, who the next “Rudolph” might be, or where he or she may come from. Or, will we like Ebeneezer Scrooge (played by George C. Scott) uttered in the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol, “What have I done... to be abandoned like this?” It's better to play nice! Did we not learn anything in kindergarten?

Melissa Etheridge said, “I feel my heart break to see a nation ripped apart by it's own greatest strength---it's diversity.” Something to think about.

How will you view differences today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading