Daily Mood Quotes - January 2, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 228 – January 2, 2012

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.

~Sally Field

Recently, I overheard a young lady put herself down and ask the question, “What's wrong with me?” A group of friends were trying to get together to have an afternoon outing before the “normalness” of life (family, school, work, etc.) returned after the holidays. Well, you know the saying, “the best laid plans of mice and men,” once again had gone astray. All of the sudden, some of the friends couldn't go; they had other commitments and they were texting the leader of this group to cancel. Unfortunately, this upset one young lady very much, which resulted in her lashing out at one of her friends. This prompted the aforementioned young lady to question her own character; to ask “What's wrong with me??? Now, I understand that this happens, it happened to me, once or twice in my life, but when somebody deliberately and with malice attacks another's character, virtue, or good intent for just simply helping... well, they should be ashamed of themselves. Make no mistake, this behavior is wrong and hurts feelings, which begins to cause loss of trust in a relationship. This is the precursor of a fast-moving death spiral in any relationship.

An unknown author said, “Success comes in cans, not can'ts.” A lot of what success is about is “attitude” and if you allow the can'ts provided by other people to determine your opinion of yourself, then the can'ts will always outnumber the cans. Understand this; the “can'ts” can come from just about anyone, a spouse, a teacher, a friend, a family member, a boss and a complete and total stranger, but the can and the belief in yourself, can only come from inside you. One of my favorite quotes comes from David Brinkley, he said, “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.” That foundation starts with the belief that you can do something, be someone remarkable and follow your better purpose. Let's face it, it's challenging to not succumb to the accumulated negativity of others and the pressures of society in general. Even my husband who has been born with a God given art talent has found himself, “frozen” by the can'ts and the pressures to make his work “commercially viable”; all based on his parent's favorite saying, “I don't know how your gonna make a living doing that.” It comes subtly; it creeps into the back of your mind and can ensnare the most educated and self-assured, if they are not mindful of it and it's something we all face. The key is to make the conscious effort to overcome the subconscious negative messages. To give more weight to the “I can” than to the blizzard of “you can't.”

In the case of the young lady; well it seems she thought it through and decided that the problem wasn't with her, but with the timing of things... that's not something we can control. So she let it go. Bravo!

The coming of the new year provides us with an opportunity to reset our internal compasses and follow the path of “I can” and leave behind the negative “you can'ts” that have been dragging us down. I know it sounds somewhat trite, but it is true never the less; all “fresh starts” begin with a fresh attitude about ourselves and our possibilities. The key is to make the positive “I cans” sing above the murmur of the accumulated negative inputs into our lives. That track, like pops and scratches on a record album, can be annoying, but it does not detract from the music that our spirits are meant to sing in our lives. The original “master recordings” are there for us, if we simply stop and listen to our hearts.

Wendy Wasserstein said, “Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.”

Helen Keller (blind and deaf) was remarkable, Beethoven (deaf) was remarkable, Steven Hawking 

(amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), sometimes known as Lou Gehrig's disease) is remarkable. I can, so can you...

How “remarkable” will you be today?

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Thank you for reading.

Daily Mood Quote - July 7, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 64 – July 7, 2011

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

~Helen Keller

I have often asked myself the question, do people, who have never faced adversity; true adversity, not a broken nail, in their life, understand the difficulties they put upon someone when they pass judgment on those who are different? Today's blog is a personal story and its a bit grumpy. Be forewarned.

It was November 12, 2002, when I was told I was loosing my eye sight. It would be gradual and slow, but it would be noticeable. Over the years, I, along with my husband, have found creative ways to see, to read, to graduate with honors from college, to maintain a 4.0 in grad school and live life daily. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. Outwardly, I look like anyone else, well-mannered and courteous. I try to dress nice and always look presentable. I also wear a pair of glasses to make the big picture a little less blurry, most of the time. Picking out details in that big picture, even up close, is very difficult, so I have learned to enjoy the “scenery”. Sunsets are amazing, a bit like a Monet painting.

When it comes time to read, I add a second pair of glasses over the pair I am wearing. This little trick permits me to see the pages clearly enough to read, study and participate in class discussions. Without another viable solution, I got creative. This works for me, even my ophthalmologist said, “That's very creative and smart.” To the point of our story, I am smart, creative, educated and I have a lot to offer any employer. But, after 434 resumes submitted and many interviews locally, the word has spread that I “wear two pair of glasses” GASP! at the same time. I have heard through conversations with friends and even HR professionals in my area, that the pervasive local irrationality is, “If you have low vision (now), you must have low intelligence.” The interview usually ends when the glasses go on. As if one had anything to do with the other. It's kind of like saying; Beethoven suddenly couldn't compose, since he lost his hearing. Although his best work came after. He had sharpened his ability to focus. I have interviewed with hospitals (you think they would know better), banks, retail establishments and small businesses. It doesn’t seem to matter that I might be the smartest cookie on the sheet. I am different and because I have something people cannot readily see, they don't understand. Nor do they want too. I have passed the tests and have the skills, education and experience, so after two years one simple conclusion remains...

The most difficult part of this process hasn't been losing my eye sight, it has been in comprehending and accepting the attitudes of others. Quite the shocker! I simply wasn't raised to discriminate, I grew up in a racially, financially and socially mixed neighborhood, so I find I have to work to understand the discrimination. In the movie Philadelphia, Joe Miller (played by Denzel Washington) defending Andrew Beckett (played by Tom Hanks) said, “The Federal Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 prohibits discrimination against otherwise qualified handicapped persons who are able to perform the duties required by their employment.” he continued to say, “This is the essence of discrimination, formulating opinions about others not based on their individual merits, but rather on their...” For me, the fact that I do something just a bit differently, I wear two pair of glasses at once, causes elimination from consideration for a position almost immediately. In this economy it's tough enough to find a job, but when you add petty discrimination, it becomes all but impossible. So be it, enough whining.

The thing I want to convey isn't that my situation is difficult. It is. What I want to talk about is resolve and character. We all are given gifts and burdens and every once in a while it's OK to take a look at both honestly. My husband says “Adversity doesn't build character. It reveals it.” Helen Keller says “...only through trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Well, my soul is well built and my character laid bare to the world. I guess I'm ready for the success. Like Beethoven, my best work is yet to come. When we look inside and view our strengths and our weaknesses, we must be honest and fair about both. I can't see so well, but I can think and do... and so I shall.

What will a look inside reveal about yourself today?

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Daily Mood Quote - June 17, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 44 – June 17, 2011

“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are.”

~Bernice Johnson Reagon

Sometimes, I wish the challenges of life would slow down, so that I can catch up. It's been 8 years and 7 months since I found out just how bad my eyesight was. Ever since, I have been working diligently to accommodate and prove, to some degree, that losing your vision has nothing to do with how intelligent a person is. The brain and the eyes are mutually exclusive. Enough said about that.

Life can throw many curves, whether you are ready or not. It doesn't care if you can hit the ball or even how far the ball can fly if you connect. All it seems to care about is the next challenge it will send. Each pitch that life throws at us is an opportunity to learn, grow and be better prepared for the next one. The point is to keep swinging and learning, because eventually you will connect.

In the movie Rocky, Adrian (played by Talia Shire) speaking to her brother Paulie (played by Burt Young) about Rocky's (Sylvester Stallone) chances against Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) said, “Einstein flunked out of school, twice.” “Beethoven was deaf, Helen Keller was blind, I think Rocky's got a good chance!” Even the best of us have to face the curves and challenges of life. It is one thing to challenge yourself, but something quite different to rise above yourself to meet a challenge. Let's face it the biggest challenge each of us faces is within. It's the attitude you have when faced with a challenge, or life's curve balls. Back then I wanted to give up, because of my eyesight. But by chance, I met a blind attorney, who was at the top of his game. What an inspiration! Maybe it wasn't chance after all... While life may throw curves, it also usually provides a batting coach.

How will you overcome “challenges” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - May 18, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 14 – May 18, 2011

"Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless."

-Jamie Paolinetti-

I have always believed that limitations are chains that one puts on themselves. On November 12, 2002, I was told I was losing my sight. My first reaction was, my life is over. Actually, my life was just beginning. It's amazing how clear the world became to me. Society tends to make broad generalizations such as, “you can't see, you can't do,” you can't hear, you can't know” and “you can't walk, you can't participate.” None of these things are true. These are folktales at best and prejudice at worse. If you look at history's examples you find that many have risen beyond societies preconceived notions to achieve the remarkable. A few examples include Helen Keller who was blind and deaf, yet rose to heights that many of us only dream of reaching. Many would argue that Beethoven did his best work after he lost his hearing. A wheelchair bound Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32^nd President of the United States, carried our country on his shoulders, through the two most grave threats the nation has ever faced, The Great Depression and World War II. History is full of such examples.

The achievements of the aforementioned examples are what can be accomplished, when we believe in ourselves and limitless possibilities. I am inspired by these stories and will not allow my vision loss to decrease my vision of what life can be. Richard Bach in his book Illusions puts it best, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.”. What does it mean? Simply, the only limitations people have are the one they resign themselves too. Mr. Bach also wrote “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” That one is also true. While we may not always actively “seek” our problems, ultimately they all come bearing some gift that we can use to better ourselves, or teach others. Although, we may not appreciate the “gift” at first sight, or in my case, not sight.

In the past nine years, my physical vision has deteriorated, it is hard to see distance, although I still reach for my dreams and envision a greater future than ever before. I can no longer drive a car, but my drive for success is stronger than ever. As Fräulein Maria (played by Julie Andrews) said in The Sound of Music “When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” The window I have found is a greater appreciation of the gifts in my life and what my true life goals are. The window is open and the view is terrific!

What is your limitless vision?

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