Daily Mood Quote - June 19, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 46 – June 19, 2011

“Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”

~Proverb

My dad is a special person, not because he is my dad, but because he said yes to me more than forty years ago. I was very young when my dad filed the paper work to adopt me. I was raised to believe he was my father and found out at age 16, during a horrific argument between my mother and I, that the man I had called dad my whole life, the man I sought advice from and trusted wasn't my father. That kind of news can devastate a person. All that I believed and trusted was now gone with one statement. The person I thought I was, was now in question. I spent many years of my life feeling betrayed and lied to. The trust that once was, was gone. I needed the truth.

Unfortunately, the truth in this case is a secret. I have searched for my biological father, with my dad's understanding and blessing. But the lies and the stories that exist would make for a great detective novel by Mickey Spillane. I gave up years ago trying to find out the truth. I resolved myself to never knowing where I came from, my heritage and without learning any of the important information that should be passed down from one generation to the next, such as family medical history and origins. In return, whoever the person responsible for me is, has resolved himself to never knowing me, his son-in-law, or his amazing grandchildren.

In the movie, Look Who's Talking, Mikey (played by Bruce Willis) wanted James (played by John Travolta) to be his daddy and that baby in this movie, worked very hard to help make that a reality. If it were only that easy.

I may never know where I came from, but one thing is for sure, the man I call my dad remembers my birthday and holidays every year, along with his grand-children's. He takes my phone calls and listens to me when I need a friendly ear and has taught me that you can love a child, even if your not blood related. I love my dad very much, not because he is my biological father-he isn't, but because my dad is also my friend and I trust him. Happy Father's Day and thank you to my dad, and to the man (biological father) who passed the buck, so that I could have an awesome dad. Today, we will end with a quote: “Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” ~Lydia M. Child

Happy Father's Day to all those who choose to be a Dad.

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Daily Mood Quote - June 7, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 34 – June 7, 2011

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Over the past few weeks, I have found myself thinking about the road not traveled. I have been told by many that it is normal to wonder if your life would have been different “if” you would have changed direction , or “if” you had turned down another road, or just stayed put. Maybe, the better question might be, “Do you have regrets about the direction you have taken or the path you have traveled?” When I decided to leave home, the only decision I made was not to live the same kind of life my mother had. I wanted to be different, smarter, better. I wanted to travel, meet people, see what the world had to offer.

Well, I've done that...however, I did so without a road map. Would I have changed a few things? Well, I think everybody has 20/20 hindsight. The “would of”, “should of” and “could of's” of your life. But, like Tim McGraw sings in Red Rag Top “that'll drive ya out of your mind.”

Many years ago, I had a conversation with my father-in-law about returning to school to get my degree. My father-in-law told a story about a man, who had many opportunities in his life and because of fear, his own and those of his family, he never followed through on any of them. He missed opportunities that would have changed the direction of the family's lives. Now that man sits on a porch swing wondering “What if?” he would have said yes, instead of a lifetime of no's. Then he ask me, “Do you want to be 80 years old sitting on a swing wondering “What if?”

In the movie Mr. Destiny there is a dialogue between Destiny (played by Michael Caine) and Larry Burrows (played by Jim Belushi); it goes like this:

“Larry Burrows: How can my life change so much just because I hit one stinking baseball?

Destiny (Mike): Well, you see Larry, one's destiny is a very complicated thing. Every incident in a person's life affects everything else that follows it. Instead of missing the baseball, however, you hit it. Then you became a hero, married the prom queen, and so on, and so forth, until you find yourself exactly where you are. So you see, hitting that baseball has spun your life off in an entirely new direction.

Larry Burrows: Are you an angel or something?

Destiny (Mike): Not exactly, no.

Larry Burrows: Then what are you?

Destiny (Mike): Have you ever been faced with a decision, and you weren't sure what to do?

Larry Burrows: Yeah, sure, plenty of times.

Destiny (Mike): And then something inside you made you choose one direction over another?

Larry Burrows: Yeah. So?

Destiny (Mike): So that's me. I make the suggestions, and you make the choices. That's how destiny works, Larry - very subtly. Welcome to your new life, Larry. I hope you like it.”

Yep, another baseball reference, but in my defense it is summer. The point is that when we make choices, our paths continually change. Every choice, every day. Sometimes it's the smallest of course adjustments that make the biggest differences in our lives. That's OK, because if we hadn’t made the choices we did, then the things we love and cherish in our lives, might not be in our lives. Along with that is the inevitable cost of passage. There are bumps and scrapes, the mental and ego bruises and the hard-earned lessons. But, these lessons can be passed on, so that our children can chart their course more accurately, with less scrapes and thorns.

I have realized while writing this day's blog, I am exactly where I should be. While there have been mountains to climb and raging streams to forge, my path is the one I'm supposed to be on. And, I won't be 80 years old wondering “What if?” instead, I will have lived, and I will have learned, being exactly where I should be.

How will you chart your "path" today?

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