Daily Mood Quotes - October 19, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 169 – October 19, 2011

“For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people's behavior.”

~Unknown Author

There is an old adage that goes, “walk a mile in my shoes.” I understand this to mean that you should not judge, or pass judgement on, someone who's situation you know nothing about. It is fascinating to watch how quickly people react to something said, an action or a notion by somebody else. Boy, can the sparks fly, the assumptions arrive in bushels and facts are thrown out the window. And I thought the Fourth of July only came once a year. Wow, was I wrong.

Someone once told me the friends you make become the family you always wanted. I've also heard that “friends are God's way of apologizing for your family.” Too bad you can't pick them from the get go...When I left to go out on my own many years ago, there was always this little voice that nagged at me, causing to me to question myself; “Did I do the right thing by leaving home, moving ahead with my life, wanting more, better.” I wondered if it was right to actually want peace, instead of what Archangel Michael (played by John Travolta) said in the movie Michael, “Battle!” Well, I'm not at battle, I just don't have it in me. I will speak up for what is right, through communication, but yelling, screaming, not listening, throwing things....no way, that's not for me. Neither is trying to roar so loud, that the truth cannot be heard. Then there is lying, or we can creatively refer to as, “convenient memory.” Paul Simon sang in the song The Boxer, “Though my story's seldom told, I have squandered my resistance, For a pocketful of mumbles, Such are promises, All lies and jest, Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”

We so often hear what we want to hear. Even if its what we heard long ago. We all can, in times of duress and sorrow, gravitate towards and hold onto “versions” of what was and what happened; that which will make the story plausible and fits our current version of reality. Unfortunately, even plausible stories can unravel and there is only one real “version” when the truth is told. Funny thing about the truth; its never very welcome when people have, or had agendas. The truth, well it doesn't require versions and it won't sit for a picture in our mind. The truth cares not for sentiment, aspiration, cash needs, or convenience. The truth simply is.

I have always taught my children to tell the truth, because when you tell the truth, you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you never have to remember what you said. It makes living life a lot easier. Life is already hard to deal with. Why do people find it necessary to make it harder, than it has to be? The truth can be ugly on the outside, but its true beauty lies within the fact that it can and will set you free of self-doubt and fear when confronted by convenient memories. Did I do the right thing when I left home? Yes and those questions I asked myself...disappeared a long time ago.

What truth will you face today?

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Daily Mood Quote - September 1, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 121 – September 1, 2011

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

~Moliere

As another wise man once told me “just walk away and disengage, it's not worth it.” Some people just enjoy picking fights and there is nothing that can be done. The best way to avoid such a fight, or argument is to be aware that these folks exist and stay clear when you can. Imagine the time you will save and things you will accomplish by not wasting your time engaging in an unnecessary, often immature situation. In my opinion the first rule of self defense is: “The best way to win a fight is to not be there when it happens.” That is simply taking personal responsibility for awareness of your environment. I could not find reliable statistics for “unnecessary” human conflict. So, I wonder how high the percentage is for people who create unnecessary and unhealthy conflict, just because they are looking for a fight? I wonder if it's in the 90% plus range.

There was a time in my life, when I too was angry. Angry about the way I was raised, the lies I was told about who I am (still don't know this information) and the way I was treated. But, I grew up and more importantly, I forgave those who were responsible for making me feel the way I did and moved on. A long time ago a trainer (I was in boot camp) read a quote to me, that would have a tremendous influence in my view of the world. The quote was by Eleanor Roosevelt, a former first lady, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” These words where also spoken by Joe (played by Hector Elizondo) in the movie The Princess Diaries, to Mia (Anne Hathaway) when her friend Lilly (Heather Matarazzo) tried to make her feel bad about her new hairdo and new found self-worth. I never saw that trainer again after she uttered those words to me and I never had the chance to say thank you. Those words changed my life forever.

I have experienced many situations where it would be easy to let an angry, or selfish person intent on conflict to get what they want. That is, to drag me, or someone I care about, into a unnecessary confrontation, be it verbal or physical. I felt that rush of adrenaline, along with the flush face and it was hard to side-step the aggression. But, I continuously refer back to Eleanor Roosevelt's quote and make the mental choice to not engage. Yes, it is a choice!!

In the movie Michael, Michael (played by John Travolta) has a conversation the Frank Quinlan (William Hurt) that went like this:

Michael: Remember what John and Paul said.
Frank Quinlan: The apostles?
Michael: No, the Beatles. All you need is love.

I feel you also need forgiveness and a little common sense doesn't hurt either. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe said, “Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image.” Yesterday I read a sign it said, "Peace, Love and Cupcakes..." What do you think?

What “image” will you project today?

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Daily Mood Quote - June 19, 2011

Daily Mood Quote

Day 46 – June 19, 2011

“Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”

~Proverb

My dad is a special person, not because he is my dad, but because he said yes to me more than forty years ago. I was very young when my dad filed the paper work to adopt me. I was raised to believe he was my father and found out at age 16, during a horrific argument between my mother and I, that the man I had called dad my whole life, the man I sought advice from and trusted wasn't my father. That kind of news can devastate a person. All that I believed and trusted was now gone with one statement. The person I thought I was, was now in question. I spent many years of my life feeling betrayed and lied to. The trust that once was, was gone. I needed the truth.

Unfortunately, the truth in this case is a secret. I have searched for my biological father, with my dad's understanding and blessing. But the lies and the stories that exist would make for a great detective novel by Mickey Spillane. I gave up years ago trying to find out the truth. I resolved myself to never knowing where I came from, my heritage and without learning any of the important information that should be passed down from one generation to the next, such as family medical history and origins. In return, whoever the person responsible for me is, has resolved himself to never knowing me, his son-in-law, or his amazing grandchildren.

In the movie, Look Who's Talking, Mikey (played by Bruce Willis) wanted James (played by John Travolta) to be his daddy and that baby in this movie, worked very hard to help make that a reality. If it were only that easy.

I may never know where I came from, but one thing is for sure, the man I call my dad remembers my birthday and holidays every year, along with his grand-children's. He takes my phone calls and listens to me when I need a friendly ear and has taught me that you can love a child, even if your not blood related. I love my dad very much, not because he is my biological father-he isn't, but because my dad is also my friend and I trust him. Happy Father's Day and thank you to my dad, and to the man (biological father) who passed the buck, so that I could have an awesome dad. Today, we will end with a quote: “Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” ~Lydia M. Child

Happy Father's Day to all those who choose to be a Dad.

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