Daily Mood Quote
Day 160 – October 10, 2011
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
~Ernest Hemingway
It's been nearly six years since I went back to college. First my Bachelors Degree and now my Masters. Like most things in life, we have our favorites; things to which we are fascinated by and drawn to. For me, I had favorite classes. I enjoyed and looked forward to my classes in communications. Right now, I am completing another communication class that has really opened my eyes and my ears to the way people communicate; verbal, written, nonverbal (body language), tone, tone levels and facial expressions. I realized this information can provide the confidence and insight one needs to have a successful, productive conversation. Understanding the other person(s) can also give you a bit of an edge to guide the conversation. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this.
Yesterday, I spent the day (after listening to my favorite football team win) listening. I mean really paying attention without interjecting. I listened to conversations between members of my family, and anyone I walked by who was talking. No, I was not eaves dropping. It was really part of the research for a paper, that I was writing for my communications class. I spent time actively listening, and trying to understand the importance listening plays in daily activities, conversations and interactions. It's harder than you think, because the world is an awfully noisy place. For many of us that noise comes from within. In many of the cases I witnessed yesterday, I noticed that before the first person completed their statement, the receiver was already beginning to speak. Usually louder; as if to drown out the first person's words. There was no real listening going on there. It appeared that after the first few words, the receiver was already preparing their statement and not hearing all of the information from the speaker. I noticed this again and again and again... No wonder there are so many communication difficulties in the world.
In the song Daylight Again, Crosby, Stills Nash & Young sing, “When everyone's talking and no one is listening, How can we decide.” This gets right to the heart of the problem and they knew it forty years ago. The one big change (perhaps not for the better) in our culture is that people seem to have stopped listening. Do we all feel that what we have to “say” is so important, that other people's points of view no longer matter? What does that say about mutual respect? What happens when you have a world full of that? We are now able to send words around the planet at light speed and the internet is filled to overflowing with opinions and attitudes. How many of us are really listening, honestly, critically and rationally to what other people are saying? How many of us prepare our answers in advance to someone's ideas, points of view and thoughts, long before we hear all the information?
In the movie Children of a Lesser God, James Leeds (played by William Hurt) said to William (John Limnidis), “Language skills can be dangerous, so use a little common sense.” Just because we can communicate, doesn't mean we know how to communicate well. The one lesson I have learned about communication is that it isn't just about talking, it is really about listening as well. More importantly it is about trying to understand someone else's point of view. That takes work and when we don't listen and only talk.... well that's usually the fountainhead of conflict.
How well will you “listen” to others today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
