Day 194 – November 14, 2011
There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.
~Albert Guinon
Most days it seems as if I live right smack in the middle of the land of “people listening to themselves.” I'm sure this is happening everywhere, or maybe I'm just frustrated by what seems to be a rampant lack of listening skills in my particular region. I'm not sure, but what I am certain of is that it's becoming an epidemic. Don't get me wrong, I believe a little bit of self-talk is a fine and healthy thing, but when it gets in the way of hearing and following the simplest of instructions, then there's a problem. It is the worst when people begin speaking those rattling “squirrelly thoughts” right out loud, right in the middle of your sentence. Makes your blood boil and that's only the beginning.
Ernest Hemingway said, “when people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” He was right, most people don't listen. In my undergrad studies, I took a class called Human Behavior. The class was designed to teach listening skills, body language interpretation and understanding of the communication flow. This was my favorite class, because I learned a lot about myself, my listening skills (which were bad at the time), my body language and how I understood my own communication capabilities with others. This was one of the classes that gave me a new direction. Unfortunately, the class (if you did well in it, and I did) had its pitfalls. It makes you so much more aware of how others act, that you see the communication flaws, through their body language, word choice and communication style. To sum it up, it can be very frustrating, because you know when someone you are speaking too, or e-mailing, or talking to on the phone is off on another planet or lying. Perhaps it might have been better to be blissfully unaware...or not.
This morning, my husband just about blew a blood vessel (no joke) while driving the car; he got so worked up over the failure to follow a very simple point, by a client's distribution vendor. Normally he's pretty easy going about mistakes, because he has long ago accepted that even the best intentioned folks can err. In this case though, he had enough. The thing that perplexed him was “why can't people follow simple written instructions? It was right there “in black and white,” with zero ambiguity.” He wondered allowed “what chipmunks are running lose in their heads when they read an e-mail?” I know for a fact that what he had written was clear, concise and unambiguous in any way, as to the nature of what was expected. I know because I proof read it. He even went so far as to outline what problems would happen if the instructions were not followed. Apparently, he could of written it in Sanskrit or ancient hieroglyphics, because it made absolutely no difference when he opened the package on Saturday. It was 100 % wrong and as if they were actually trying to do it wrong. His only question was “Why?” Was it spite, inability to read (that's possible given our current educational system's standards) stupidity, or something more insidious; “teeny-tiny” attention span. Like a gnat! Brought on by our urgent, immediate gratification culture. Since when did “fouled-up” become the new norm, or acceptable at any level?” I'm really glad these people aren't in the airline industry, or we would have wrecks all over the place. What the hell do people think about when they read or hear instructions? Seriously, I could use some input here.
I've used this before and I'll say it again. Paul Simon sang in the song The Boxer, “But, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” No matter how profoundly true it is, it stills comes as a shock when your just trying to do the right thing. That's what gets me; people you talk to don't listen, teachers don't pay attention to anything outside their twenty year old information, but everybody knows what the E-TRADE baby says. Thank goodness for advertising; otherwise nobody would know anything about anything, apparently... “just a man and his cell phone and an E-TRADE app... nobody knows the troubles.....”
What will you listen to today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading.
