Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 73 – July 15, 2011

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.

~Mohandas Gandhi

In his first inaugural address in 1933, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...” In modern life that is very true. Too often in our 21st century lives, we can see where decisions made by fear, the unhealthy kind, have sometimes lead us into dark and untenable spots. If we would have taken the time to make more rational decisions, then more likely than not, those errors could have been avoided.

Fear had its place and it has helped the human race survive for millions of years in an environment where we weren't the top of the food chain. That's healthy fear: common sense in overdrive. But, now that we are and we dominate our planet, that same fear that causes the fight or flight response, knee jerk reactions and cold sweat anxiety, can do more harm than good. Fear comes in many forms. One of those forms of fear is fear of disapproval and punishment from figures of authority. Parents lead the list. I am all too familiar with this fear. I grew up in a fear driven environment that involved guessing which “mood” mom was in today. That usually lead to the question, “Do I stay, or do I go and should I go quickly?” Many years ago, a friend told me of the difficult time she was having raising her teenage daughter. There was a lot of yelling, power struggles and zero compromise. Kind of like Congress and the White House right now. Their not making good decisions either, but that's another blog's issue, not mine.

The point is, instead of the parent teaching, she attempted to control by fear and consequently obtained neither respect, nor control. The entire situation had a negative result that lead to unenforceable punishments, zero long term good and deep resentments that are still being felt today and will continue for many years to come. Hmmm, that still sounds like Congress (Did I say that out loud?).

We live by a more direct axiom. “When you raise your voice, you stop raising your child.” Believe it or not, kids, especially teenagers, don't react kindly to yelling or arbitrary punishments “Just because I said so!” When we lose it, "we the parents," are just begging for more difficult times. When we lose our self-control... that's exactly what we teach our children. It is right and appropriate to be concerned about your child's welfare. But, we need to examine our own "motivations" when dealing with our children. Sounds like something for the folks in Congress to consider, but I digress... Are we working from fear, or rational thinking?

In 1838, Abraham Lincoln said, “Passion has helped us, but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason, must furnish all the materials for our future support and defense.” I'm not so sure about the cold part, especially when dealing with children, but reason, tempered by love, should guide us when we are attempting to guide our children.

In the movie Freaky Friday, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Anna (Lindsay Lohan) read a fortune cookie that said, “A journey soon begins...Its prize reflected in the other's eyes. When what you see is what you lack...then selfless love will change you back.” It's amazing what you can learn when you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Maybe, Congress should walk a mile in the shoes of those who are unemployed, the poor, the homeless and maybe their “view from the cheap seats” might be very different (Thank you Michael Douglas from American President). When fear motivates a leader or someone in a leadership position, such as a parent or someone in a position of political power, bad things are bound to happen. When we choose to lead from love and compassion good things are bound to happen.

Which will you choose “love” or “punishment” today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading