Daily Mood Quote

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 74 – July 16, 2011

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

~Albert Camus

Or at least what they perceive normal to be. Everybody has their own definition of what normal “is” or “should be.” That should be our first clue. The bottom line is “normal” is a fantasy. It is a manufactured convention that we delude ourselves into thinking that it's “what we should be”... But, no two lives are the same, no two families the same, no two paths to the future the same. Normal for each of us isn't what “we should be” it's what we are. Right now, as we read this page. The trick is how do you leverage your “normal” for you, not against you. That's where you need to think “F” it! Let me explain...

A few years ago, I took a “marriage and family class for my undergrad. During class discussions we evolved a perspective that revolved around a few key principles for living a successful life. These are the “Fs” of life which distilled a lot of information into some tangible, bite sized nuggets. At the time it was a lot to chew on, but now, it makes sense.

You see nearly three years ago, my husband ended up in the hospital because of high blood pressure, really high blood pressure that kept him in the hospital for a week. During this week, trying to maintain his “normal”, he continued to work on a major campaign for a client from his hospital bed, and in between tests (yes, I was upset with him). After all the tests were completed they could not find anything wrong, or even why his blood pressure was so high. Aside from the blood pressure he was completely fine and fit. We could only assume that the high blood pressure was simply because it runs in his family. He is not overweight, doesn't have a poor diet and he does get some exercise. Not as much as I would like for him, but I will take what I can get. We left the hospital and believed we were back on our “normal path” of life. One of my husband's favorite phrases is “Better living through chemistry.” We were off to the mall, or a lake for fishing, even an occasional hiking trip. Unfortunately, what we wanted wasn't necessarily what we got. Six months later, on his checkup, my husband discussed with his doctor, a burning in his feet. This simple phrase lead to more tests, more doctors appointments, neurologists, rheumatologists, cardiologists, and two biopsies.

Ten's of thousands of dollars later, we find out that my husband is one very healthy individual. However, he was diagnosed with a life-long condition called small fiber neuropathy. In a nut shell, the nerves in his feet, legs, hands and occasionally his face are telling his brain, that he is on fire. Only no fire exists. It is extremely painful when a flair up occurs. He has good days and not so good days. The hot summer sun and heat, which many look forward to for summer fun, generates a lot of pain for him. The burning sensation goes from uncomfortable to extreme. It is safe to say, his hanging out at the beach days are over.

So what do you do, when you can't do, what you used to do? First, you get pissed, because it is frustrating. We quickly realized there is no law against getting angry or upset and so we did. We got it out, got it over with and said, “Yes, F-n' way, is our new approach to living life.” This F is flexibility. Our normal has changed, and we are tasked with finding the new normal that includes new habits and new opportunities. It's funny how much you can get done in the quite of the night. There is a saying by Tim Hansel, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.”

In the movie Regarding Henry, Henry (played by Harrison Ford) a successful lawyer, suffers a gun shot wound to the head and survives. Bradley (Bill Nunn) says to Henry, “You're gonna be just fine, OK?” Unfortunately, what was once normal for him had changed and he had to find the new normal in his life, despite the expectation that he would be exactly who he was before the shooting. He wasn't. I have said to my husband, “We are going to be just fine, BUT, we'll find a new normal.”

What does your “normal” look like today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote and find out about the first “F”

Thank you for reading