Daily Mood Quotes - October 31, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 180 – October 31, 2011

I live in a crazy time.

~Anne Frank

In Anne Frank's time, it was crazy and sad too. But I wonder if she would of thought the same thing about the time we live in today. In some way times are good, still crazy and yes, even some bad. This depends on your situation, your frame of mind and your mood today.

Today is Halloween, I have never been a fan of this day, because it celebrates bad behavior and evil in the name of fun. People dress up in goofy costumes (as if hiding your identity makes it all right) and go out and create chaos and mayhem throughout town. Plus there is the expectation of “candy” at every house you go too or they face the consequences; egg on your house or toilet paper in the trees. I once heard a story where adults actually painted someone's car windows because the homeowner ran out of candy. Are we that desperate for candy? Or, is it the thrill of the bad behavior? Here we go again with the extreme...I guess.

Even when I was younger, I didn't get this day; the horror flicks, the scary costumes, the haunted houses and the haunted parties. I would really like to chalk this one up to me just being a fuddy-duddy, but then, how do I explain not understanding this day as a child? Maybe, it's just one of those things...you know “unexplainable” ooooohhhh scarry... Well like Aaliyah said, “if I don't think about it, it won't drive me crazy.”

I do understand the fantasy of this day, but I feel over time we have stepped over the line in costumes and behaviors for this day. It's ridiculous!!! I can say without equivocation that October 31 is not my favorite. One thing is for sure, life is a crazy ride.

In the special, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Linus (played by Christopher Shea) said to Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins), “This is the time of year to write to the Great Pumpkin. On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children!” Linus also said that the Great Pumpkin appreciated sincerity. It doesn’t seem like there is much of that around any more. I think it is something that we could use more of, pumpkin patch or not. So, in honor of Charles Schultz, I guess it is that time of year...again. To all you ghosts and goblins, heros and villains, stay safe and enjoy your trick or treating. Happy Halloween.

How will the Great Pumpkin find you today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 30, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 179 – October 30, 2011

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... How did I get through all of that?”

~Unknown Author

One of the things I have found helpful to do when I feel that all hope may be lost, or I begin worrying about whether or not I can survive a situation; I talk to my neighbor. He is an elderly man who is well into his eighties, his experience and wisdom sometimes causes me to pause. Some of the things he has shared really aren't much different than what we deal with everyday. The problems are the same, just the way they are generated has changed. Solutions, well I believe the solutions differ from person to person, based on how you were raised, education, experiences, and whether or not you carry baggage, or hold a grudge.

There is always hope; it may seem as dim as a candle on a dark and stormy night (okay a little corny and cliché but true none the less), but yet somehow it is not extinguished. And, depending on what we are going through at any moment in time, our attitude determines whether or not we can see and/or seize the opportunities hope presents. Sometimes its just enough to help us hang on just that little bit longer. To take the little chance that brings within greater opportunity. And, sometimes hope's child is a bit more hope and a lighter heart. It just depends on who we are and what we are open to.

In the movie Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock (Birdee Pruitt) and Harry Connick, Jr. (Justin Matisse), Birdee Pruitt says, “Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will...” If you never let go of hope. 

Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." That's hope!!!

What “hope” will you welcome into your life today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 29, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 178 - October 29, 2011

Diligence

Dignity does not float down from heaven it cannot be purchased nor manufactured. It is a reward reserved for those who labor with diligence.

~Bill Hybels

The one thing the events of the past month have taught me is that it is so easy to let yourself slip back into old bad habits and how easily we can develop new bad habits, when under stress. The death of my mother-in-law has spawned a flurry of old feelings and along with them some habits (those best left behind) for both myself and my husband. For me it's the insecurities that reappeared when I realized my in-laws are supremely diligent about carrying grudges and old emotional baggage. They made my life a living hell when we were all living in the same town. They seem still bent on that objective. So, we left. It did however reintroduce a bit of self-doubt that has had me off my game for a while. For my husband, a man who had put aside an uninspired and common youth and aspired to higher academic and artistic goals, the shock and hurt of their vile dispositions almost drew him back into old and discarded behaviors. Neither the children nor I, had ever heard him curse that much, ever. By his own admission, it hasn’t been his finest moment.

Well, what exactly does that have to do with diligence? Simple. We both have worked far too hard to put aside our bad habits and aspire to better. Through adversity and some success we have together defined and forged better attitudes, more open viewpoints and more honesty in our lives and that of our children. It hasn't been easy, it took determination and diligence; especially when things weren't going so well. Those old nasty habits are always hanging like ghosts, just out of view, ready to swoop in take root and grow anew when our guards are down.

It takes diligence to continue to press forward toward better when the past, its pains and its baggage is hanging around in the back of our minds. Or, when it is suddenly thrust forward into our lives as has happened to me and my husband this month. Often we become sort of “stuck” in old cycles that prevent us from taking steps forward that we know are beneficial, but somehow we just can't seem to do. That's the ghost of the past that interferes to prevent our forward progress. It takes “considerable snake eyed concentration” as stated by Jack Crabb (played by Dustin Hoffman), in the movie Little Big Man, to get back on track after a major life disruption or disappointment. That's where diligence comes in. Pick up the broken pieces of our expectations, accept the lesson and begin again to move forward. In the wounds and scars of hard experience, we find the strength of resolve required to diligently and honestly assess our position, refine our goals and press on.

Much like a quarterback who has been sacked (okay, I really do love football), in “snake eyed concentration” and focus on the next play, is the touchdown...

How will you face the future “diligently” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 28, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 177 - October 28, 2011

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the movie Seven Years in Tibet with Brad Pitt and David Thewlis, The Dalai Lama (played by Janyang Jamtsho Wangchuk) said, "We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good"

I believe if we embrace these basic concepts, all of us will be successful.


Nothing else needs to be said...

How will you view life's questions and problems today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 27, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 176 – October 27, 2011

“it is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.

~Benjamin Franklin

Today I struggled with what to talk about, because there was so much. It has been an interesting 24 hours. I watched the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley last night and the material that was there was so incredibly overwhelming, I simply tuned it out after a while (there was a lot of bad news). Then there is my husband who completely lost his composure for a few days, after dealing with his family and his mother's death. My in-laws are not the easiest people in the world to deal with, a lot of anger and resentment, for no real good reason. Mad to just be mad, hmmm... Anyway, I had to say something, risking a possible disagreement between us. There were some hurt feelings of course, that is expected when people remind you that you are behaving badly. Moving on... Then there is the occasional teacher(s) you come across, who feel that their time as a teacher in years (tenure) is somehow more important than the fresh batch of children they are responsible for teaching each year.

Guess which subject wins? The bad teacher. Why do I feel this teacher warrants the “bad teacher” sobriquet from me. Because, it is clear that her focus is on her and not the children, a very bad habit. It appears that her teaching is more about going through the motions, choosing her favorites, separating the herd (the students she wants to teach-vs-the students she doesn't, due to challenges or other discrimination's) all aimed at making the job easier for her. Unfortunately, this bad habit causes good students to be left out in the cold, or lost in their studies through no fault of there own. Lazy teachers just piss me off.

Rob Gilber said, “First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” In this particular case, it seems that 20 years of teaching may be a little too long. In any career you have two choices; move forward or backward. There really is no good option to stay put, where you are. It's like being afloat and rudderless on the ocean, trying to remain completely still. Not going to happen...we begin to drift, slowly at first, but surely as the tides of time and winds of fortune drag us, one way or the other. I think another analogy might be a spiral stair case. We can chose to climb up toward better performance and greater accomplishment, or down toward mediocrity and eventually failure. Its our choice, but one we must make. The one unique thing with the spiral stairs viewpoint, is that we so often find ourselves repeating cycles and habits (including bad habits), only spread out in time and space. They can be cycles of growth, or decline and it is up to us. We always have the option to look inward to review the previous cycles and preview what may be ahead. Its the effort that makes the difference and when you are dealing with the fate of future generations it had better be forward, not backward. Like I said lazy = bad and bad teachers piss me off. Now you know why...

In the movie Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger (Detective John Kimble), Joyce (played by Penelope Ann Miller) said, “You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it.” You should never turn your back on students. My husband once told me a story about one of his college professors, he said, “you should be nice to your B – C students, there the ones who will come back and build a wing on your school.” I think that just about says it...

Now, as to my husband, I understand he is going though a tough time right now and had been deeply hurt by venomous anger that is unfounded by my in-laws (his family). It is really out of character for him to be so abrupt and sullen, but we don’t want any of their old bad habits to take root here. Let's keep the big picture in mind and move forward also. Lets continue to climb up and not stumble down to their level. We moved for a reason and it is clear that was a good choice. Enough is enough.

How will you move forward today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 26, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 175 – October 26, 2011

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

~Abraham Lincoln

The more I read about Abraham Lincoln (the name of the book is Worthy Of Their Esteem: The Timeless Words and Sage Advice of Abraham Lincoln, America's Greatest President), the more respect I have for his accomplishments. How many of us just think of tomorrow as a day, one that follows today? I did too, but in actuality tomorrow is the future. It's coming with or without our permission, or approval. Good thing is comes one day at a time.

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.

~Abraham Lincoln

Policy to me implies a rule, a law, something that must be followed each and every day. Life can throw curve balls that do not obey rules, at least our rules. So living under the strictest rule doesn't always allow you to do, or be, your best. Sometimes you have to just go with the flow and “be the best you can be.” Life isn't a job, it's an adventure (thank you United States Navy). One where we make the choice to do our best, or not. It's up to us...

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.

~Abraham Lincoln

I have been preparing all my life for what the future holds. First, I served my country, thank you for allowing me to serve you. Then I became a mom, this career never ends and it's one I am very proud of. Now, I am preparing for a second career. All along the way, I have lived life one day at a time, preparing for tomorrow and doing the best I could. Sometimes that worked out, sometimes not. But, each situation I have been through has better prepared me to face the challenges that will come my way, today and when my chance does come (maybe its today). I can think of few things more disheartening than coming upon a great opportunity that I am ill prepared to utilize. I'll be ready for that ol' curve ball, and the opportunity for a home run it presents, when I see it again. I know that from experience. “Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice.....”

In the movie Unstoppable with Denzel Washington (Frank) and Chris Pine (Will Colson), Frank said, “I'm stepping on it, in it, around it and through it.” And, that's what life is, we step on it, in it, around it and through it. We can't get away from it, it happens, yesterday, today and tomorrow and if we're really blessed or lucky, we'll be prepared for the opportunities it presents and meet the future on its terms... successfully.

How will you prepare for the future?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 25, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 174 – October 25, 2011

Children are always the only future the human race has; teach them well.

~Unknown author

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream (we had a craving for an ice cream cone), my family and I witnessed something that caused all of us to stop in our tracks and me to have a flashback to my childhood.

My husband dropped my daughter and I off in front of the store, (he went to get gas, while we shopped) and before we got out of the car, we saw a mom and her two kids, a boy and a girl, at the entrance of the store. She was medium height, platinum blonde, dressed to the nines and drove an Escalade SUV. We saw the girl picking at the boy (we called this kid fun, all siblings pick on each other). Suddenly, what appeared to be a normal, fun loving moment between siblings erupted into a display of anger and aggression that took all around them by surprise, including us. It wasn't the children it was the mom, who turned and while digging her fingernails in the pre-teenage girl's arm, began yelling loudly at her child. She then threw the car keys at her and told her to go to the car. The young girl attempt to speak with the mom, but the mom would have none of it. She turned her back to her child and stomped away from her daughter. Her daughter was obviously crushed, beside herself and in tears. It was clearly apparent she did not want to go the car, but the woman and brother had already walked away from her; leaving her out in the cold, with strangers. The girl walked to the car, got in and started the car. We paused a while and waited to make sure the girl got into the car safely, then we went into the store.

My daughter ask me what would cause a mom to turn on her daughter so quickly and with such apparent distain? I told her, “Nothing. No mother should ever behave like that in public, or in private to their children. And to physically squeeze her; that is way out of line for any adult.” I continued to tell my daughter, “Children can misbehave, children can get on your nerves, but what we teach through our actions and our words is what the next generation will also do, better or worse. It's up to us!”

My husband and I had a conversation about this after the children had gone to bed and the thing that struck me the most was; did the mom have any idea what kind of impression she had just left her child with (of her) besides the fingernail marks. Not to mention the impression anyone else, who happened to be in the near proximity, got. These are the ghosts that float back to haunt us later in life. How many parents, when they are tired, or had a bad day at work, or are struggling with life's issues, take anger out on their children? My husband said it best, “Some parents do that, because kids can't fight back” and he's right, they can't... at that moment in time. Life goes on and those kids we supposedly raised and demonstrated anger toward, vented job and life frustrations on, become adults. They may have children of their own and will the message they learned in those traumatic and unrecoverable moments, be the same message they will send the grandchildren? And, will they crank it up a notch...that's human nature you know. What happens when these parents get too old to take care of themselves? Will their children take care of them, or will they dump them in a nursing home and never visit? Something to think about; the messages we send with our behavior.

I felt for this little girl, because many times my own mother (the woman who called herself my mom), did this to me. Public embarrassment was one of her favorite pass times, I can remember being slapped in the face at my uncle's funeral, because I was crying. Just because we carry the title mom or dad, doesn't give us the right to take our frustrations, sorrow or pain, out on our children. It's not their fault. And if you are in the habit of yelling at your child because that's how you do things, STOP NOW; before they yell back. Personal self-control is at the very core of every major religion and every major philosophical insight humanity has acquired over the past 3000 years. When will we begin to use in daily life (with the people we are supposed to value the most-our children), the simple wisdom of self-control? Remember, the examples we set today, determines the world we live with tomorrow.

Here is something I don't do very often, but it applies (reusing a movie quote). In the movie Mr. Mom, Caroline (played by Teri Garr) said to her husband Jack (Michael Keaton), "Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride."

What will you teach today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 24, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 173 – October 24, 2011

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

~Buddha

What an honest mouth full this quote is. I know so many who hold on to anger with the intent of hurting people. Not necessarily physically, but verbally, mentally and emotionally. What's that saying, Oh yeah, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words last a lifetime.” and if you say words out of anger at age 20, and live to be 90, you have to live with what you said; while the person who you hurt, forgave you and moved on with their life. You, well seventy years is a long time to let anger fester and carry a grudge. Is it worth it?

What if everyone lived in a world where hatred was the norm. We hate people we don't know, for no reason but that they are there. We spread lies about people because its easier than to take the time to get to know them. And (one I will never understand) we create a convenient truth, so the story we tell sounds plausible. Who has the time or the energy to live life like this?

Why is it the people we care about the most are the ones who feel they have the right to keep secrets, tell lies and hurt the ones they claim to love? More importantly, why does it become the center of attention as if it is the be-all, end-all. Family, can't live with them and you can't really escape them. In the movie Secrets and Lies, Maurice (played by Timothy Spall) said, “Secrets and lies! We're all in pain! Why can't we share our pain? I've spent my entire life trying to make people happy, and the three people I love the most in the world hate each other's guts, and I'm in the middle! I can't take it anymore!” The saddest part of all of this is that someone is always caught in the middle. Maurice also said, “Life isn't fair then is it. Somebody always draws the short straw.” I guess that's true too, someone always does draw the short straw. Usually its that person in the middle.

When we hate and carry anger toward someone, they often are the last ones to even know it, but the ones we love and depend on know it, feel it and suffer for it. In that way, no matter the final outcome, the person who carries the hate looses, because they all too often break the hearts and spirits of those they love the most, with the weight of the hate. I say, better to cut loose of the hate and unburden those we love from its weight. Drop the hate and loose its weight. And hey, who doesn't want to loose some extra weight?

How will you drop the hate today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 23, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 172 – October 23, 2011

“The best cure for an off day is a day off.”

~Frank Tyger

Yesterday, I took the day off. It was time to disconnect, become unwired, break free of the grid, or what is also known as the daily grind. I logged off for a day. Over the past six years, I have logged many, many hours on the computer. First with school work, research projects, papers, communications with fellow classmates on projects and presentations, work, The Daily Mood Quote, and family and friends... E-mails, Skyping, Facebook, Linkedin, YouTube; where does the madness end? It doesn't unless you say E-N-O-U-G-H!!! Much like Bruce Nolan (played by Jim Carrey) in the movie Bruce Almighty, when he said, “Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me” as he unplugged the computer. All right, I wasn't that harsh, and I did not unplug the computer. I just walked away.

I did that yesterday, I said enough and logged off for a day. Here's why, the weather was nice, I remembered I had a family and I was having a menopause day of gargantuan proportions. Every time, I looked at my computer, throwing it out through the sliding glass door crossed my mind. That's never good, so when my husband asked me what I was going to write about, I walked away. Ipods, Ipads, cell phones, apps, laptops, desktops; they all made me twitch yesterday. It was time for a change, even if that change would be short lived. So, I watched a little TV, the movie Die Hard (one of my favorites, I like Bruce Willis - as an actor). I also watched Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and some of the World Series with the Texas Rangers and St. Louis Cardinals. I took some time to go to Wal-mart to pick up a few items and just enjoyed the day unplugged. Not even a cell phone call. It was nice.

I think Matthew Broderick said it best, when he played Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” and if you don't step away from technology for a moment, you're missing a lot. Even the great Andy Rooney took a day off. And so that's done; I can get back to addressing the needs of digital reality. The need for total immersion in real reality has been satiated for now.

The point is, well you know there's always a point... Anyway, We all need to step back away from whatever has our attention the majority of the time; be it the computer, the internet, a group of associates, a job, a religion, or anything that absorbs time like a sponge. Then take a deep breath and appreciate the little things we so often take for granted. No matter where you might be, there is beauty and peace of mind to be found if we disconnect, open our minds and hearts and let the best parts of real reality in.

How will you enjoy your day today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 21, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 171 – October 21, 2011

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.

~Diego Marchi

Such is life. I will not speak of the unspeakable secret, we all have those and they are best kept to ourselves. Accepting that life is not a perfect thing and that we all have regrets and dreams and loves, is the first step in finding peace in your life. It is a commonly held belief that you need to have a perfect life to have peace and happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Perfect is an unattainable goal.

In our world of hyperbole and extreme “this” or “that” we find that it is easy to forget, or never learn that peace comes from within and the first step to that is accepting that your life will have imperfect parts. You can not be all things to all people, you can not please all people any of the time. No one can look at their life rationally, honestly and believe that they have achieved any sort of perfection. I believe that is because we don't really know what perfection is. The definition of perfection, to say the least is a moving target. On our planet there are probably seven billion versions of what perfect is. Well, that's okay. The idea here is to accept you are not perfect, and the best you can do, is the best you can do and to find peace with that.

We all face an unimaginable variety of decisions, circumstances, and interactions with other people everyday and sooner or later; no matter who you are, you will have regrets, unattainable dreams and if your lucky unforgettable loves. I believe the secret is to hold fast to the best of it, accept the worst of it as unavoidable and to be able to look at a reflection in the mirror that is worthy of looking at, at the end of the day. Not just the outer person, but the inner person as well. Life is a journey with its highs and with its lows and keeping score is our spirit. We all have wins, we all eventually have losses and regrets, but like the villain turned good guy Megamind (played by Will Ferrell) in the movie Megamind said, “There's a benefit to losing: You get to learn from your mistakes.” And so we live, we make mistakes and we learn. Like Frank Sinatra sang, “That's life.” Its all about how we view the unavoidable, the unbelievable and the unimaginable things that enter our lives that makes it a learning journey and a journey worth traveling.

What will you learn in your journey today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 20, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 170 – October 20, 2011

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.

~Colin Powell

I have a lot of respect for Colin Powell, I do not know him personally but his leadership skills have been demonstrated globally and he leads with integrity, respect and confidence. I agree with his quote. The minute, the second “soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you cease to be leader.” However, leadership isn't just for the military. Everyone has in some way, shape or form been a leader at one time in their life. Even children, in as simple of a setting as a elementary school classroom. I have been a parent for 26 years, and as much as we may try to deny it, parents are leaders everyday...

Recently, I was asked if I had any regrets being a stay-at-home mom for so many years, and without hesitation my response was a resounding, “no.” To push the envelope a little bit, she said to me, “but you could have had a great career, been respected, been rich, been a name? I look at her and said, “I have a great career, I'm a mom, I am respected, have you met my children?, I am rich, not with money, but with love and great relationships with my children, I don't have to guess, their favorite color, their favorite meal, their favorite book or television program...I know. I don't have to push them to talk, they come to me, and as far as being a name, what greater name is there in the world, than “mom or dad?”

In the movie Mr. Mom, Jack Butler (played by Michael Keaton), a laid-off (fired) automotive worker and his wife Caroline (Teri Garr), had an argument about his experience being a full-time stay-at-home dad for the first time, it went like this;

Jack Butler: My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

Caroline: Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself, alright?

Jack Butler: Well, if you're so unhappy, why don't you say something about it?

Caroline: Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride.

Caroline: I've pride in this house, I've pride with my kids, and I've pride being Mrs. Jack Butler!

Well, I'm not Mrs. Jack Butler, but the pride is the same. I have sacrificed many jobs and what would have been a great career because my children were my first priority. Yes, times have been hard, and instead of complaining about it, I used it as a teaching tool for handling money, following budgets, and teaching what the differences are between the “wants” and the “needs.” When ask why I choose parenting over a career, the answer was simple, you have a small amount of time to make a positive impact, be a positive influence, teach what is right and what is wrong, in your children's lives, and when that time is past, you can never get it back. Then peer pressure, television role models (Lindsay Lohan), and magazine models take over.

In less than a year I will graduate with a Master's Degree and in the last nearly six years, my children have watched me grow, change and demonstrate the benefits of a higher education. They have college on their radar. Parenting never ends, just the amount of time you spend doing the nuts and bolts of it. The maintenance is ongoing. I don't know if my education will win me a “prestigious” job after all of my children on their own, but as I look at my children and talk with them I realize that being a stay-at-home mom is a very prestigious job to start with. It was a good thing, no, it is a great thing.

Albert Schweitzer said it best, “Example is leadership.”

What example will you set today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 19, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 169 – October 19, 2011

“For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people's behavior.”

~Unknown Author

There is an old adage that goes, “walk a mile in my shoes.” I understand this to mean that you should not judge, or pass judgement on, someone who's situation you know nothing about. It is fascinating to watch how quickly people react to something said, an action or a notion by somebody else. Boy, can the sparks fly, the assumptions arrive in bushels and facts are thrown out the window. And I thought the Fourth of July only came once a year. Wow, was I wrong.

Someone once told me the friends you make become the family you always wanted. I've also heard that “friends are God's way of apologizing for your family.” Too bad you can't pick them from the get go...When I left to go out on my own many years ago, there was always this little voice that nagged at me, causing to me to question myself; “Did I do the right thing by leaving home, moving ahead with my life, wanting more, better.” I wondered if it was right to actually want peace, instead of what Archangel Michael (played by John Travolta) said in the movie Michael, “Battle!” Well, I'm not at battle, I just don't have it in me. I will speak up for what is right, through communication, but yelling, screaming, not listening, throwing things....no way, that's not for me. Neither is trying to roar so loud, that the truth cannot be heard. Then there is lying, or we can creatively refer to as, “convenient memory.” Paul Simon sang in the song The Boxer, “Though my story's seldom told, I have squandered my resistance, For a pocketful of mumbles, Such are promises, All lies and jest, Still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”

We so often hear what we want to hear. Even if its what we heard long ago. We all can, in times of duress and sorrow, gravitate towards and hold onto “versions” of what was and what happened; that which will make the story plausible and fits our current version of reality. Unfortunately, even plausible stories can unravel and there is only one real “version” when the truth is told. Funny thing about the truth; its never very welcome when people have, or had agendas. The truth, well it doesn't require versions and it won't sit for a picture in our mind. The truth cares not for sentiment, aspiration, cash needs, or convenience. The truth simply is.

I have always taught my children to tell the truth, because when you tell the truth, you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you never have to remember what you said. It makes living life a lot easier. Life is already hard to deal with. Why do people find it necessary to make it harder, than it has to be? The truth can be ugly on the outside, but its true beauty lies within the fact that it can and will set you free of self-doubt and fear when confronted by convenient memories. Did I do the right thing when I left home? Yes and those questions I asked myself...disappeared a long time ago.

What truth will you face today?

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daily Mood Quotes - October 18, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 168 – October 18, 2011

Life is but thought.

~Sara Teasdale

Marcus Aurelius said, “the universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Well, right now my thoughts are confused. Recently, there has been a death in the family, and although we did not attend the funeral, we have heard the stories of hoarding and anger. Let me start at the beginning, I met my husband's family 30 years ago and they lived in a very nice house, filled with a lot of nice stuff . This was a good family, that gave me the gift of seeing what a family should be, instead of the battlefield I grew up on. I saw something better in life and decided that something better is what I wanted. I was 17 at the time, desperately counting down the days to 18, so I could leave home and begin the journey to a better life. I now knew a better life existed and that was good enough for me.

Unfortunately, time can change people and 30 years have past. The normal family I had dinner with is now sporting new attitudes; anger, hatred and selfishness. This is what I am struggling with. How does a family go from being a loving, kind and supportive family to spouting hatred loudly, with “everything belongs to me attitudes.” I saw this in my own family when the woman who raised me, past away. My siblings went in and "cleaned out" my dad's home. It was all about the stuff. My dad is still alive; did anyone bother to ask him before pillaging her stuff. The same thing happened in my husband's family, just with a little bit of a twist. The beautiful home my husband grew up in, the stuff that filled that house, the love that once was felt when you past through the doors is no longer. The house was sold and the parents were moved to a nursing home. The stuff; I have no idea where that went, and the love has been replaced with greed, selfishness and anger by the same children who grew up in that loving home. 

My father-in-law worked hard and tirelessly his entire life and provided a good life for his children and wife. All to just end up in a one room, four walls, nursing home. Is that the end goal? Do you work all your life to provide for your family; so your kids can fight and squabble over stuff, that has little to no meaning to anyone but the people who earned it? In the end is it just about the money, grab up as much as you can and sell it for what it is worth? Doesn't anyone have any sense of compassion anymore? And what about the surviving spouse? I know these are a lot of questions to ask, and I wish I had the answers. But, for the time being, all these questions only lead to more questions. Hence, the confusion.

I don't know about the readers of the blog; but I know for me, it is my most sincere hope that the next generation (the children I have raised) has better sense than the one(s) before them. Because, if they don't, then what does that say about us and the future of us all?

I have been shocked and very surprised by the greed demonstrated in the act of snatching up everything when someone passes away. It's the second time I've seen it and it makes me kind of sick in the stomach to see evil playing its hand at such a solemn time. My husband says he's "truly disappointed, they were raised better." I guess Carl Fox (played by Martin Sheen) in the movie Wall Street, with Michael Douglas, said a mouthful when he said, “Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow...”

What do you think? Is it about getting stuff when Mom and Dad die? Or, is it about learning something positive from our parents to share forward?

How will you remember your parents today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - October 17, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 167 – October 17, 2011

Either you run the day or the day runs you.

~Jim Rohn

Today, I run the day, actually most days my husband and I run the day, because we are a team. We have had those days were the day runs us and they can be less than optimum and ofttimes very different (sometimes strange) from the days we run. I think a lot of it goes to “frame of mind.” What is the mood of the day today? Is it a carefree; I'll handle life as it comes to me today? Or, it is I have to stay on track and follow my schedule today? Either way, you make the choice and you have to live with it.

Wayne Dyer said, “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.” That's the key; it is really always our choice. The choice can be to follow, or to lead the events of our lives. Sometimes it feels that life can bring so much furor at one time, that it seems you have no choice but the obvious one. Unfortunately, when people feel forced into the “obvious choice” they can be whistled right by the optimum choice. It is so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of chance and circumstance and be blown here and there like leaves on the October breeze. It can be challenging to hold fast and look for a better choice, when the urgency of the moment shoves us along. So, we choose the obvious and sometimes loose the bigger opportunity of the moment, to mentally climb above the clutter and do what is right for us. Ella Wheeler Wilcox said it best, “Always continue to climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.”

We all have free will and we all have to make choices. The simple fact is, we cannot control 98% of what goes on around us, but we can control two very important things; our actions and our reactions. And, that is how you run the day. Not by trying to hold the universe to some preconceived notion of how everything is and will go. That stuff is for fiction novels and soap operas. But, by controlling how you respond to all that is going on and maintaining a hold of your core best self.

In the movie Mr. Mom, Jack Butler (played by Michael Keaton) said to his wife Caroline (Teri Garr), “Honey, you gave me some real good advice once, so let me give you some of my own. It's real easy to forget what's important, so don't." Remembering what is important, that's what makes the difference. Have an awesome day.

How will you handle the many things in life today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 16, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 166 – October 16, 2011

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

~Abraham Lincoln

An even though we know these words, recited these words and studied the man who said these words, we are still not equal. For approximately a month now, many have been and continue to protest economic inequality, not just in our country, but around the world. I wonder, are our voices being heard at all, or is it being tuned out because the ones the inequality hurts, the unemployed, the retired fixed incomes, disabled and recent college graduates don't matter to those who we put into office? Most likely not, Its money that talks, plain and simple. I read Rick Perry raised $17.2 million dollars in just a month in a half. How? Where? Who? Do you know how many families can be helped with that kind of money? Funny thing, it seems that no one cares about the families. The money will go towards, traveling fees (most expensive hotels, best food, etc...), commercials that will tell us how “bad” the opponents are and I'm sure some money will also go towards very expensive, personal items to ensure the image of Gov. Perry is upheld. Its image, not substance that matters right? Well, in a word, no. Looks like somebody (not the regular, everyday, taxpaying citizen) really, really wants this guy from Texas in the game, no matter how inappropriate his statements are. What is the motive? I have a few thoughts.

Last night, I watched the Texas Rangers – Detroit Tigers baseball playoff game and the camera picked up former President George Bush in the stands, sitting with the Texas Rangers owner, Nolan Ryan. I was amazed as I watched the President's body language, it screamed, “I don't have a care in the world, I'm enjoying life.” Meanwhile, the brave American soldiers that he and his shotgun toting buddy Dick Cheney sent into harms way, so Halliburton could make a few extra bucks, are still fighting and dying overseas. Lets not give any further credence to the facade; it was always about the cash and oil, really. It reminded me of the movie Titanic, where a conversation took place between Ruth, Rose's Mom (Frances Fisher), Rose (Kate Winslet) and Cal Hockley (Billy Zane), regarding the sinking of the ship:

Ruth: Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they're not too crowded.

Rose : Oh mother, shut up! Don't you understand? The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats. Not enough by half. Half the people on this ship are going to die.

Cal Hockley: Not the better half.

Rose thought him to be an unimaginable bastard. I would have left him too. Anyway, it has always amazed me how those who have so much, where given so much, don't really do much to balance the scales. Instead they better their position on the backs of others. I do wonder how they sleep at night? In the movie Independence Day, President Thomas Whitmore (played by Bill Pullman) said, “It's a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one. You can tolerate a little compromise, if you're actually managing to get something accomplished.” And, in the movie American President, President Andrew Shepherd (played by Michael Douglas) said, “...We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them...” Here's an idea for any politician running for President with the belief they can make “change” happen. Use your contributions, go to a food shelter and help pass out containers full of food (bought with your own cash) to families, who can't buy groceries to feed their family. Walk into an unemployment office and look at the faces of those who have lost their jobs. Walk into a Goodwill store, look at who is shopping. These are “We The People”, they're the voters, whose vote you need and they are struggling. They are the people who’s Constitution you are going to swear to protect and defend. Or, will you lie to all the world and God on Inauguration Day? George did. Face the facts, this country has serious problems... $17.2 million dollars? One month? Grrrrr. The election is not that far off and people are occupying Wall Street because they are fed up with greed. What you have on this earth is what you have, what you do with what you have, well that's a story only you can write. Ask yourself this question; what story do you want told?

What will be your “legacy” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 15, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 165 – October 15, 2011

“Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power – a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment.”

~Marsha Sinetar

Sometimes I wonder what kind of test life really is. You start your day believing one thing, then life throws that curve ball you weren't ready for and changes how you view yourself and the world. So, you try to be brave, shrug it off and pretend that it doesn't bother you, but it really does. Occasionally, you need to find a quite place, sit down and hope you can get pasted the hurt, disappointment and sadness, so you can move on.

I wasn't going to talk about this, but I have written down my feelings and thoughts in order to put things into perspective so I can look towards tomorrow as a brighter day. Over the past week, I have written about anger, death, and how crazy busy this week has been. It's been a week since the funeral and family members we have not spoken with in ten years, have reconnected again. Unfortunately, with that reconnection came information that carries years of built up hostility and resentment through the phone lines. You see, our lives intersect other's lives everyday, sometimes too many to count. From a brush of shoulders on a busy walkway in the downtown hustle and bustle, to phone calls and text messages, we are constantly interacting with people. But, when greeted by “family” in an openly hostile manner, it can just stop you in your tracks, it can shock and shake you. Not because they are right, they're not, but because you somehow expect better behavior from them. I've had that twice in the past two weeks. Knowing these family members as I do, I know they were both raised better than they behave. I find myself asking the questions, what has happened in their lives, for them to be so hostile? Why are they carrying around so much anger and hatred? Maybe disappointment in their own lives? If they need someone to be mad at then, I guess better my husband and I than someone else. I have been told, I have thick skin. Regrettably, the skin may be thick but the heart is still hurt by the unexpected and unnecessary anger and hatred in their words. When it comes from family, it can zip right though the skin and sting.

Yes, a death has occurred in the family, and they will go through the seven stages of grief, I understand intellectually that they may not always mean or even know what they are saying, but it still is hurtful. We have been told the anger is not only from the death; this anger and hatred has been brewing for a long time. For what reason, I cannot say. What I can say is; what a horrible way to live. How sad it is to waste the limited days of ones life in anger and discontent; then setting the example to the next generation that anger and hatred are acceptable. I have said it before; It's okay to get angry, it's natural for a short time, but it's not okay when that anger becomes the dictating factor in how you live and treat the people in your life. Especially family. William Throsby Bridges said, “Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.” That transition is a choice, one we make intentionally and deliberately, and that choice should never been used to hurt someone willfully or purposefully.

People mourn in many different ways; some go to funerals, others mourn personally and privately. We mourned personally and privately. Unfortunately, the “family” card was played (just another excuse to be angry) and horrible things were said. Sadly, I know they would have said them anyway and the funeral was just an excuse to turn the vitriol on a bit stronger. Between you and me, I like my husband's take on this, “It wouldn't have mattered if we attended the funeral or not, either way, we would have be dealing with a hornet's nest of crazy.” He was right, we are still dealing with the hornets and the words sting.

In the 1948 movie I Remember Mama, staring Irene Dunne, Barbara Bel Geddes (Katrin) said, "For long as I could remember, the house on the Larkin Street Hill had been home. Papa and Mama had both born in Norway but they came to San Francisco because Mama's sisters were here, all of us were born here. Nels, the oldest and the only boy, my sister Christine and the littlest sister Dagmar but first and foremost I remember Mama." When you lose someone you love, despite the difficulty in the relationship, the love is what counts. And so for mom we remember “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV). Love remains.

We will remember her in our own way.

How will you move forward today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 14, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 164 – October 14, 2011

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

~Wayne Dyer

Ahhh, the winds of change. It's no secret that this is my favorite time of year. Maybe it's the beautiful skies and foliage. This week has been a week of awaited change to autumn and unexpected change as well. To be honest, I think this week is best “look at” through the rear view mirror and all I can say right now is I am glad it's Friday. So many plans unraveled, so many new challenges to address.... I need a bit of time to regain perspective. And that's sometimes the way it is. Perspective is only gained by distance and occasionally it takes a bit of time to step off to the side and restart, renew and review.

I apologize for the late post again, but, from the very start of the day, we have faced the storms of life (thanks Randy Travis). Things can change so fast sometimes that even the best of us are not able to effectively juggle life’s challenges, while the deck is rolling beneath us. Iyanla Vanzant said, “Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.” As so it was with this week; I'm not sure what I learned yet, but that will come in time.

Talk to you tomorrow

How will you face the “winds of change” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 13, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 163 – October 13, 2011

An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.

~Cato

An angry woman can do the same. I know a woman who is so disappointed with her life, the only way she can communicate with people is through yelling and never allowing them to speak. Even on a phone call to someone else, she is in the background yelling and being a distraction to the two people talking on the phone. How does someone get so angry? Stay so angry?

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.

~Mohandas Gandhi

It has always amazed me how a perpetually angry person jumps to conclusions and begins yelling and screaming before all of the information that is needed to make a good decision, or have a civil conversation is completely expressed. I seems to me, these folks don't want to hear anyone else's position or opinion on a subject, because they just might hear and have to face the truth. Or, at least something that may cause them to look at the situation with another eye.

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.

~Albert Einstein

I believe it is alright to get angry. It can be a natural reaction in some situations. However, to stay angry and let it fester and grow then acting out on that anger, or holding a grudge is a different thing. I have learned through conversations with many people of experience and wisdom, that holding on to anger is unhealthy. We are not designed to hate, or to carry anger for a lifetime. Image how dark the days must be, when our lives are filled with anger and every conversation, every action and every interaction is filled with anger...soooo sad. There is another quote by Alfred A. Montapert, “Every time you get angry, you poison your own system.” I've seen it, it is poisonous. To hold onto anger is to drink its venom daily. The system slowly rots away, from the inside out. Why do people do that to themselves?

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

~Aristotle

But, it is worth it. The anger response is a natural thing and built into all of us by millions of years of fight or flight requirements, but control of that anger and the ability to put it away and move on, is what makes us truly human; truly special among the species of the earth. However, it is the choices we make when confronted by anger, that can build us up or tear our lives asunder. In the movie The Fisher King, with Jeff Bridges and Adam Bryant, Parry (played by Robin Williams) said, “It begins with the king as a boy, having to spend the night alone in the forest to prove his courage so he can become king. Now while he is spending the night alone he's visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the holy grail, symbol of God's divine grace. And a voice said to the boy, "You shall be keeper of the grail so that it may heal the hearts of men." But the boy was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power and glory and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible, like God, so he reached into the fire to take the grail, and the grail vanished, leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded. Now as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper. Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn't love or feel loved. He was sick with experience. He began to die. One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple minded, he didn't see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat". So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, "How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?" And the fool replied, "I don't know. I only knew that you were thirsty."

When I read this, it made me think, if people think about how they behave towards others?

How will you find the “correct understanding” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - October 12, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 162 – October 12, 2011

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

~Leo Buscaglia

So simple and yet its the simple things we seem to forget or just choose not to remember. How much time does it take to smile, to lend a helping hand, offer up an honest compliment, help someone who needs help? Yet, everyday I watch people walk away and never pay attention to the little things. Even responding to an e-mail seems to have become “to much work.” I'm glad the previous generations didn't think like that. Chances are good we'd all still be scraping out subsistence livings as serfs, or something. It makes me wonder if the generation of today understands the impact we are having on the generations of tomorrow. What do I mean, well think about it: in today's hurried world, we are not stopping to take a moment to do the right thing and the example that is being set is being watched by the next generation. Hey, if walking away from someone who needs help works for them, then I can do it too. Slowly, the civil in civilization has begun to fade. I'm really not worried about some Apocalyptic event or comets rubbing out civilization. Our laziness in dealing with each other will quietly provide an unrecoverable death spiral. There are several cases, just within the last year, where everyday people needed help (someone hit by a car, a mugging, take your pick) and everyone just went on about their day. Worse yet, some actually stood there and took pictures with their cell phones. Are you kidding me, thats what we have come to...Shameful.

The point is somewhere amid all the hustle and bustle, chaos and confusion; it seems we have begun to lose our capacity to be empathetic toward each other. The little things that build unity among people are now “passe.” Attitude has replaced empathy and disengagement has superseded courtesy. So, how do you think that's going to play out over the next decade, or four? Our children see that as the norm and so they push the envelope a bit more (hey, we did), and each generation after that does the same thing. Where do you think that will lead? It won't take too long before we have regressed to a point of no return. End of game. All because we didn't take the time today, to do that little extra caring step that means so much.

We always want the other guy to step up and be there for us, but on a planet of 7 billion people, we are all that “other guy.” Little things count and we are all part of the bigger picture, no matter how we try to mentally frame our lives; we are all accountable to the next generation. A butterfly flaps it's wings in Brazil, or not.... In the movie Terminator with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sarah Connor, (played by Linda Hamilton) said it point blank. “Its our mission. This is our life, If we stop caring about that, then we are lost.” Our mission is to show the best in us to the next generation and to the generations after that. Otherwise, we as a species really will be lost.

What positive step will you take to turn a life around today?

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Daily Mood Quote

Day 161 – October 11, 2011

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

~Leo Buscaglia

Tomorrow, I will speak on the quote, please allow me to apologize for the late blog postings. The past couple of weeks have been very stressful and somewhat strained. From a death in the family, to a very heavy course load, to the day-to-day grind; it's been a little tough to fit it all in. There is a quote that goes, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” He must be getting quite a laugh from me. I'm a schedule person, but lately life has thrown some interesting road blocks in my path. Good thing the blocks are manageable, or I would be completely gray haired and goofy by now.

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