Daily Mood Quote - October 15, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 165 – October 15, 2011

“Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power – a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment.”

~Marsha Sinetar

Sometimes I wonder what kind of test life really is. You start your day believing one thing, then life throws that curve ball you weren't ready for and changes how you view yourself and the world. So, you try to be brave, shrug it off and pretend that it doesn't bother you, but it really does. Occasionally, you need to find a quite place, sit down and hope you can get pasted the hurt, disappointment and sadness, so you can move on.

I wasn't going to talk about this, but I have written down my feelings and thoughts in order to put things into perspective so I can look towards tomorrow as a brighter day. Over the past week, I have written about anger, death, and how crazy busy this week has been. It's been a week since the funeral and family members we have not spoken with in ten years, have reconnected again. Unfortunately, with that reconnection came information that carries years of built up hostility and resentment through the phone lines. You see, our lives intersect other's lives everyday, sometimes too many to count. From a brush of shoulders on a busy walkway in the downtown hustle and bustle, to phone calls and text messages, we are constantly interacting with people. But, when greeted by “family” in an openly hostile manner, it can just stop you in your tracks, it can shock and shake you. Not because they are right, they're not, but because you somehow expect better behavior from them. I've had that twice in the past two weeks. Knowing these family members as I do, I know they were both raised better than they behave. I find myself asking the questions, what has happened in their lives, for them to be so hostile? Why are they carrying around so much anger and hatred? Maybe disappointment in their own lives? If they need someone to be mad at then, I guess better my husband and I than someone else. I have been told, I have thick skin. Regrettably, the skin may be thick but the heart is still hurt by the unexpected and unnecessary anger and hatred in their words. When it comes from family, it can zip right though the skin and sting.

Yes, a death has occurred in the family, and they will go through the seven stages of grief, I understand intellectually that they may not always mean or even know what they are saying, but it still is hurtful. We have been told the anger is not only from the death; this anger and hatred has been brewing for a long time. For what reason, I cannot say. What I can say is; what a horrible way to live. How sad it is to waste the limited days of ones life in anger and discontent; then setting the example to the next generation that anger and hatred are acceptable. I have said it before; It's okay to get angry, it's natural for a short time, but it's not okay when that anger becomes the dictating factor in how you live and treat the people in your life. Especially family. William Throsby Bridges said, “Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.” That transition is a choice, one we make intentionally and deliberately, and that choice should never been used to hurt someone willfully or purposefully.

People mourn in many different ways; some go to funerals, others mourn personally and privately. We mourned personally and privately. Unfortunately, the “family” card was played (just another excuse to be angry) and horrible things were said. Sadly, I know they would have said them anyway and the funeral was just an excuse to turn the vitriol on a bit stronger. Between you and me, I like my husband's take on this, “It wouldn't have mattered if we attended the funeral or not, either way, we would have be dealing with a hornet's nest of crazy.” He was right, we are still dealing with the hornets and the words sting.

In the 1948 movie I Remember Mama, staring Irene Dunne, Barbara Bel Geddes (Katrin) said, "For long as I could remember, the house on the Larkin Street Hill had been home. Papa and Mama had both born in Norway but they came to San Francisco because Mama's sisters were here, all of us were born here. Nels, the oldest and the only boy, my sister Christine and the littlest sister Dagmar but first and foremost I remember Mama." When you lose someone you love, despite the difficulty in the relationship, the love is what counts. And so for mom we remember “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV). Love remains.

We will remember her in our own way.

How will you move forward today?

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