Daily Mood Quotes - january 13, 2012

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 239 – January 13, 2012

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well"

~Voltaire

In the movie Heart and Souls with Robert Downey Jr. (Thomas), Kyra Sedgwick (Julia), Elizabeth Shue (Anne), Altre Woodard (Penny), Charles Grodin (Harrison), Tom Sizemore (Milo) and David Paymer (Hal, the bus driver). Thomas said to his girlfriend Anne, “ I've loved people before and they went away. So a long time ago I made a decision that I wasn't gonna need anybody anymore.”

I'm starting with a movie quote because a few days ago, I realized that I have been having some very dark days recently. My moods, my behavior and my attitudes about things have been a bit rough, I haven't even been interested in talking to anyone. I have been told that it's part of the grieving process. I really wouldn't know because its been so many years (1983 to be exact), since I lost someone I actually cared about, loved. In my lifetime, I have been hurt so many times by people who have claimed to “love” me, but that love came with strings attached and always tied into something. I have already stated I grew up in a family that taught the “love with strings” way of life and because of that, I decided to put up walls, so that I could live without feeling hurt, or used and sometimes both. In 1983, I was friends with a Major in the Army... just friends; he was old enough to be my father. We read the same books, discussed them, shared jokes, fun times in our lives and he was a part my “movie going” group. Actually he started the group, a few of us got together once every two weeks went and saw a movie and after the movie went out to eat and shared our thoughts on the movie. The interesting part of this group was the age differences and the different ideas and perspectives each of us had on the movie. I learned a lot about people, especially the older generation - in 1983 I was only 19. Fun times were had by all. Unfortunately, my friendship with the Major was cut short; he was killed in an automobile accident, while at home visiting his family in Alabama. I was devastated and decided at that point in my life, I never wanted to feel hurt like that again. I stopped getting close to anyone, or allowing anyone to be close to me.

As time went by and I aged, a few people (adults and they worked really hard), my husband, my best friend of thirty years, and my dad found their way into that place in my heart where there is love (my children all already reside there). When I was told my dad had cancer, my first thought was; “he can beat this, he is the strongest man I know, he's my dad and he knows I need him, so he'll beat this.” Unfortunately, after a conversation with my dad in November, I knew he wasn't long for the world. I have always considered myself a strong person, a do it on my own kind of girl, tough to a fault. I have even heard people call me “cold-hearted,” “difficult/stubborn” and my favorite “bit#$.” They never bothered me, because as I have always told my children, “people find it easier to judge someone and call them names than it is to take the time to get to know them.” My case is no different, not to mention I don't make it easy for people. My husband, my best friend and my dad knew this. I have very few close friends; I know many people, but very few of them can say they know me. My dad knew me and I knew my dad. But his death has caused me to feel a pain that I haven't felt since I lost my Major friend in 1983, only deeper and more profound. My dark moods are because I miss him very much and I am trying to prevent myself from closing off the world, as I did in 1983. I'm not as closed off as I once was, but the opportunity is there and it's a struggle for me.

Seven years ago, I lost my mom, my aunt and my step-grandmother, all within the same year. There was no real love for any of these woman and therefore their passing meant little to me. I even went to my mom's funeral to make certain she was dead. So much of her life was a lie, I expected her death might also have been a fabrication. My life really began after she died. The reason my life began; because she wasn't around to poo-poo and criticize everything in my life anymore. I could achieve things, I never thought possible when she was alive. Even distance didn't stop her from crushing my hopes, dreams and causing problems in my marriage. She even attempted to put a wedge (she used lying as a tool to cause problems between people) between my dad and me and for many years she did. I was very blessed to have had the past seven years with my dad, even though I lived out of state. We built a great father-daughter relationship over the phone. He sent holiday cards, birthday cards and even a card of inspiration once. I respected and admired my father and recently before he passed, he told me, he respected and admired me. I'm hurting; I don't know how long the grieving process lasts, I just know I have to go with the flow until the hurt diminishes. I know it may never go away completely, but as time goes on, it may become less and less and maybe I can remember my dad with a smile instead of the sadness and the “I miss you” tears when I think of him.

If you have ever lost anyone you love, I hope you understand the dark moods I have had since I started writing again. Everyday I remind myself what a wonderful gift love is, and if you have that gift in your life don't take it for granted, don't ignore it, or don't put it off until tomorrow. Seize the moment, make the memories and enjoy the time. One amazing saying I see everywhere these days is “live, laugh, love,” Yes! “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE,” it's worth it.

There is a fun saying from the movie Hitch with Will Smith (Hitch) and Eva Mendes (Sara), Hitch says to Sara, “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.” Something to think about as the day progresses.

This is the last blog I will do about dad, as I will be working on better days and moving ahead with my life without my dad. I will also ask the readers of Daily Mood Quotes to please understand, I may slip and have a dark day occasionally, I'm not perfect....I'm human.

How will you live, laugh and love today?

Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote

Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - October 3, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 153 – October 3, 2011

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

~Andy Rooney

In my life, the one thing I have always been able to do, is take something good, something memorable, or something I didn't know, from every situation I have been in. Letting others dictate the direction of one's life only means never finding the happiness, that was truly meant for you and it is a recipe for failure. What I consider to be one of the biggest mistakes people make is “trying to fit in.” I tried it once; it was the most unhappy time of my life. To quote Peanut from Jeff Dunham, “it suck-ka-kaed.” I was miserable trying to be someone everyone accepted, everyone liked. I was looking for those after work invites to a nearby bar or restaurant, just to feel like I belonged... to be one of the group. What's the point? I've seen and heard too many stories of how these events can destroy people, because of unprofessional conversations that took place in those settings. You have heard the old saying, “loose lips sink ships?” Well they also sink careers, relationships, promotions and pay raises, so why do it? I know; “to fit in” “be accepted.” It's that sense of “needing to belong” which drives many of us to disaster.

There is another old saying, “Why don't they put lids on crab pots? Answer, because when one starts climbing out, the others reach up to pull them back down.” So, it is with fitting in. Every group of people, has an up, or positive side and a down, or negative side. One of the great hazards of trying to “fit in” is that we seldom see the negative side, until it's too late and the damage is already done. Friends are a gift. However, if they can't accept you for who you are, then maybe you need to reconsider who your friends are.

Happiness isn't something someone can give you, it can only be achieved from within. I learned this a long time ago, my friends, my family, even my spouse were not responsible for my happiness; only I was. When I realized that, I changed the course of my life. And today, I am happy. Okay, still unemployed with a nuisance vision disability, but I am happy because of the choices I made for my life. In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, Christopher Gardner (played by Will Smith) said to Christopher (played by Jayden Smith), “Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something....You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.” Follow your dreams. I can remember many, many times in my life when I was told, I wasn't any good at something, or I couldn't do it because..., (okay, driving aside). I always wondered, if I could. Well, I don't wonder anymore, I have done and achieved many of the things I wanted to do, and I will continue to achieve. This winter, I'm thinking about learning to ski. 

I also always wanted to be a writer and after listening to Andy Rooney's sign off speech from 60 Minutes last night on CBS, I feel more inspired and less ashamed about following that dream. I wonder if 60 Minutes would consider me as a temporary fill in? I'm not Andy Rooney, but I always say what's on my mind. Someone once told me, “If you never ask, you never know.”

How will you pursue “happiness” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 24, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 113 – August 24, 2011

“Throw back the shoulders, let the heart sing, let the eyes flash, let the mind be lifted up, look upward and say to yourself...Nothing is impossible!”

~Norman Vincent Peale

Everyday is a new opportunity to make the impossible possible, to make a dream come true, to be a part of something you only ever dreamed about. Take a chance, soar, believe you can and achieve the impossible.

Norman Vincent Peale also said, “Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities – always see them, for they're always there.” All we need to do is look. I have been writing ever since I was a little girl. I kept a diary and my first journal entry was around the age of nine and it was about my mom and how I wished she could love me. She had her problems and apparently I was one of them. But that's all right, because she did manage to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I suppose that's all she was able to do, at least where I was concerned. She never “saw” the possibilities only the problems and realities of “the here and now” and even those in the worst possible light. I'm not sure how or why and perhaps that is best left unexplored. But it did impact the possibilities that we all saw. It's amazing how much impact a parent's mindset has on children and how long that effect can last.

Anyway... those days are past, but some of the echos remain. I love to write, but find myself at a point of ambivalence. I want to write and I love it, but those darned “possibilities” give me pause. I see them but I must admit to being shocked, because I'm just not use to looking for them in daily life. So, when they begin to “bloom” right in front of me, I am caught off guard. Paul Simon sang, “When something goes right, Well its likely to loose me, Its apt to confuse me. Its such an unusual sight.” Its just a matter of how one looks at life and the situation they are in. I wasn't working when I started this blog, but it gave me time to start writing again. I needed to begin to rekindle my life’s ambition. Since then, life has tried to dampen that kindling, but the internal fire is restarted and I wont let it fade out again.

So here's what I have learned about problems, opportunities and possibilities: We all have problems and “possibilities.” Our possibilities depend on how we view things. Even if we have put them on hold, for whatever reason, we have only to begin, in order to rekindle their potential. And, only when we explore and develop those possibilities can we feel our lives well lived. Even if it scares us silly. By action we build confidence, in confidence we form a foundation and on that foundation success is built. At least I hope. Michael Jordan said, “I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, Christopher Gardner (played by Will Smith) said, “You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.” Michael Jordan did, and so did many others. Nothing is impossible!!!

What "possibilities" will you see today?

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Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote - July 6, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 63 – July 6, 2011

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”

~Dale Carnegie

I know people who believe that working 16 hour days, spending their lives in the car (driving from here to there) and packing their days full of busyness is living. They start their day with their feet hitting the ground hard and they begin running. Before they know it, they are in their 80's, wondering where the time went and what they did with their life. The kids are grown and they don't know them. Maybe they see them on holidays or birthdays, because the example that was set “ constant running: busyness” has now been foisted onto the next generation. Is this high price of keeping up with the Jones' and maintaining the image, worth it? There is a very foolish saying that I hear all too often. “There will be time to rest when you're dead.” How very sad. I'm sure it was made up by someone who was trying to get something for themselves, at the expense of others. Unfortunately, this myth has crept into our lives and pushed out the breathtaking moments, like a weed in the garden.

A century ago, working long days at physical jobs was the norm. But, that was when fathers worked at the mills and factories and the moms stayed home to raise the family. It wasn't really a choice, it was a necessity at the dawn of the industrial age. Now, it is a choice. We see it in cities, towns and suburbs. Another generation of people is so focused on the busyness of life, that they no longer live life. In the song, Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin, the dad calls the son and says “I'd like to see you if you don't mind” The son's reply, “I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time...” Too many are fooled into thinking the busier your life is, the more “stuff” you cram in, the better your life is. That couldn't be further from the truth. How many of us will have memories, 10, 20, 50 years from now of sitting in traffic trying to “get somewhere,” instead of enjoying the journey with those we love? We have become so enthralled with “going” somewhere and “doing” something, that we fail to pay attention to the “now.” So, what are you missing?

In the movie Hitch, Alex Hitchens (played by Will Smith) says, “Life is not the amounts of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.” How many of those breath taking moments are missed because we are so focused on going somewhere, doing something or being somebody? Peter Drucker, the management/leadership guru said, “One cannot buy, rent or hire more time. The supply of time is totally inelastic... Yet most people take for granted this unique, irreplaceable and necessary resource.” It's great to have plans for tomorrow, but in the today you will find the moments that can take you breath away. Time will not tarry. But, we do need to stop and appreciate moments in time.

What moment will “take your breath away” today.

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Thank you for reading