Daily Mood Quote
Day 24 – May 28, 2011
Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
Yesterday, My husband and I ran into a friend who shared with us a difficult decision, that needed to be made in his family. My heart tugged for him and his family. There are two types of decisions we make everyday (business decisions excluded). Decisions we make for ourselves and decisions we make for others. Sometimes the decisions you would make yourself, is not the decision you would make for a loved one. This is where the head and the heart generally disconnect. Often the common sense, practical decision cuts at our being, as we struggle to do what is right, but do so in the board room of the heart. The question isn't really “What is best”, there is an addendum on the question that adds ...for them, me and for all the stakeholders. If you choose “for me” then you can set yourself up for remorse. If you choose “for them”, you often deny your own worth. If you choose “for everyone involved”, somebody surely won't be happy with your call. If you choose to do nothing then life makes that decision and more times than not, nobody is happy.
While I can't say without qualification that the “for everybody involved” is the best decision all the time, I believe it is better to bear the pain of potential criticism and make the logical and responsible call, than to let your or a loved one's “wants” make that call. You need to be confident enough in your own process to make the “what is right” call. It may be tough on our emotional heart, but our hearts are resilient things when we know the facts and face the truths.
In the movie Star Trek III: The Search of Spock, Captain Kirk (played by William Shatner) said to Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock), “...Because the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many.” The key is to understand the difference between the “needs” and the “wants.” In the situation regarding our friend, what needs to be done should take precedent over the wants of the heart, or everyone may end up suffering, needlessly. We wish him grace in his decision making and peace after the decision is made.
What process “wants or needs” will you use in making the tough decisions?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
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