Daily Mood Quotes
Day 120 – August 31, 2011
Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.
~Thomas Jefferson
Sorry this is so very late today. My husband was hogging the computer this morning, he was on a video conference. It was a good reason and we are a one computer family.
Okay, so the alarms goes off this morning and like normal we are tuned into one of the local morning radio shows. Today's conversation was “the secrets we keep” from our spouse. Here's the story, a newlywed couple just came home from their honeymoon. She (the new wife) had some friends over to share pictures of the honeymoon, and he (the new husband) made himself scarce, or so was thought. He eavesdropped on the women's conversation. “Interesting stuff women talk about” he relayed to his morning show partner. Here's what I caught and found disturbing. There is a club and this club is called, “The husband's unaware club.” The reasoning was as follows: A friend of the new wife doesn't want her husband to know how much money she spends. Her husband keeps the household books. So, when she shops, she pays for the items she wants (not necessities) half in cash and half by check, or by credit card. He never sees the receipts, just the credit card balances and/or the bank statements. It looks like she is thrifty, getting good deals, and has an eye for the bargains, when in fact she is spending twice as much. Maybe to some this is a brilliant idea, but to me, its dishonest and if you are willing to be dishonest to your spouse about this, what other lies are being told?
Lying about money, to me is next to the worst. The worst of course would be cheating...Tad Williams said, “We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” I have to ask; Is that why this “husband unaware club” exists, because of fear? What is she really afraid of? Is it acknowledging her selfish behavior, or her husband's response? Start a marriage on a lie, and chances are it will end up in divorce, because the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. By then, how many thousands of dollars will she have spent without his knowledge? The longer the lie goes on, the bigger the chance of an unpleasant fall out. Suspicions will arise and then what? It begs another question. What else isn't she telling him? Another man perhaps, another identity, or a hidden stash of cash “just in case?” Once trust is lost... well we said it yesterday “they close your account_FOREVER” (thank you Family Man). Forgiveness may be forthcoming, but almost certainly, he will never trust her again.
In the movie Deceptions, Jonathan McQuarry (played by Ewan McGregor) said it best in this short, sweet and to the point question, “Why should I trust you... everything you told me was a lie?” Although the context may be different, that's exactly how the husband is going to feel, deceived. In a conversation with my husband he says, “Moreover, if a woman is going to do that, that gives the husband a “hall pass,” a license to lie to her." Things can get really convoluted quickly. One of my favorite movies is Straight Talk with Dolly Parton and in this movie she says, (I'm paraphrasing here) “Sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on...” I don't know about others, but as for me; I'd rather tell the truth, than try to remember the lies. The truth is far easier to remember.
Will you be “truthful” or keep someone “unaware” today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
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