Daily Mood Quotes
Day 101 – August 12, 2011
“Trust is like a vase..once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.”
~Unknown Author
A recent event caused me to pause and wonder, do people know the damage they create when they choose to lie to someone? Several weeks ago, I saw a brief snip-it on television about lying, it was a topic on The Early Show and the point being made was (I'm paraphrasing here) “everybody lies, it has become the norm in business, in relationships and in day-to-day living.” Really? That's the norm?
In 1992, there was a movie Straight Talk with Dolly Parton who played Shirlee Kenyon, a talk radio show host, who gave life advice to callers. It's been a long time since I've seen this movie, but there is one phrase I do remember; she said to a caller, “sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on.” I guess what I'm saying here is, if you tell one lie, usually you have to tell another to cover up the original lie and so on and so on... Where do the lies stop? My mother had a very strict policy about lying (at least lying to her). It was simple, “Never lie or I'll beat the crap out of you.” Well, being the strong willed child I was, it was a theory I tested and let's just say, theory verified. Now, I understand there are the fabricated stories about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and they have their time and place. Those tall tales are generally meant to provide a vehicle for a larger moral. But, when an adult chooses deliberately to deceive another, that is a “whole 'nuther kettle o' corn” as they say around here.
Here's what happened: During a conversation with a friend we've known for nine years; a question was asked and the truth was deliberately omitted, (same thing as a lie) passing the buck to the next guy. It was deliberately omitted to avoid an uncomfortable and Inconvenient Truth. A week later, the truth came out (it always does) and I was heartbroken. It wasn't because our friend lied, but because we had respected and trusted him. We had known him for nine years...who does that? As Friedrich Neitzsche said, “I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
Lying is like acid, It slowly corrodes the spirit of the liars and those being lied too. Even a little white lie can begin to pit the surface of any relationship. Perhaps in time with wear and enough polish it can be made to look new again, but it takes so much more effort than just telling the truth up front. Big lies (like the one we encountered from our friend) are a much stronger acid, they not only burn through the surface of the relationship, leaving a blemish that can never be removed; they often cut deeply into the core and create irreparable damage. Even if it was meant to avoid confrontation, the damage is still done. Trust is never regained.
In the movie Liar Liar, Fletcher's (played by Jim Carrey) son Max (Justin Cooper) made a birthday wish, “ I wish, for just one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.” Here's my wish, “I wish for one day, people would think before they choose to lie.” Make no mistake lying is a choice and there is no getting around that “truth”. I will eventually forgive my friend for lying to my husband and I, but the friendship is now permanently damaged and trust is forever lost. What a high price to pay.
Will you think before you speak or avoid the truth today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
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