Daily Mood Quote - August 31, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 120 – August 31, 2011

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.

~Thomas Jefferson

Sorry this is so very late today. My husband was hogging the computer this morning, he was on a video conference. It was a good reason and we are a one computer family.

Okay, so the alarms goes off this morning and like normal we are tuned into one of the local morning radio shows. Today's conversation was “the secrets we keep” from our spouse. Here's the story, a newlywed couple just came home from their honeymoon. She (the new wife) had some friends over to share pictures of the honeymoon, and he (the new husband) made himself scarce, or so was thought. He eavesdropped on the women's conversation. “Interesting stuff women talk about” he relayed to his morning show partner. Here's what I caught and found disturbing. There is a club and this club is called, “The husband's unaware club.” The reasoning was as follows: A friend of the new wife doesn't want her husband to know how much money she spends. Her husband keeps the household books. So, when she shops, she pays for the items she wants (not necessities) half in cash and half by check, or by credit card. He never sees the receipts, just the credit card balances and/or the bank statements. It looks like she is thrifty, getting good deals, and has an eye for the bargains, when in fact she is spending twice as much. Maybe to some this is a brilliant idea, but to me, its dishonest and if you are willing to be dishonest to your spouse about this, what other lies are being told?

Lying about money, to me is next to the worst. The worst of course would be cheating...Tad Williams said, “We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” I have to ask; Is that why this “husband unaware club” exists, because of fear? What is she really afraid of? Is it acknowledging her selfish behavior, or her husband's response? Start a marriage on a lie, and chances are it will end up in divorce, because the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. By then, how many thousands of dollars will she have spent without his knowledge? The longer the lie goes on, the bigger the chance of an unpleasant fall out. Suspicions will arise and then what? It begs another question. What else isn't she telling him? Another man perhaps, another identity, or a hidden stash of cash “just in case?” Once trust is lost... well we said it yesterday “they close your account_FOREVER” (thank you Family Man). Forgiveness may be forthcoming, but almost certainly, he will never trust her again.

In the movie Deceptions, Jonathan McQuarry (played by Ewan McGregor) said it best in this short, sweet and to the point question, “Why should I trust you... everything you told me was a lie?” Although the context may be different, that's exactly how the husband is going to feel, deceived. In a conversation with my husband he says, “Moreover, if a woman is going to do that, that gives the husband a “hall pass,” a license to lie to her." Things can get really convoluted quickly. One of my favorite movies is Straight Talk with Dolly Parton and in this movie she says, (I'm paraphrasing here) “Sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on...” I don't know about others, but as for me; I'd rather tell the truth, than try to remember the lies. The truth is far easier to remember.

Will you be “truthful” or keep someone “unaware” today?

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Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - August 30, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 119 – August 30, 2011

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.

~Dwight D. Eisenhower

I love this quote because it talks about leadership and integrity in every phase of society. Except one; the family. In seems to me that the first most important influence we have begins at home, in the family; with the parents. When I was a little girl, I never knew what was going on, my mom would say one thing and do another. I often heard the phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do!” Do you know how confusing that statement is, especially when you are young and impressionable? I figured out what the definition of hypocrite was at an early age. Not that I wanted to, but life circumstances gave me little choice. I remember a particular event that rocked my world when I was in the sixth grade. I was eleven years old and my mom and I went to a store downtown called the “five and dime” (this was in the 70”s, very different times). Anyway, I was looking at the make-up and jewelry and all the sudden, my mom said, “it was time to leave” and as we approached the door, we were approached by store security, who insisted that we “go with them.” Mom wasn't so inclined and the look on her face was one of anger and she looked at me as if I did something wrong. That was confusing enough, and after a loud display in public this “situation” was moved to a more private room, where the store manager and the police became involved. I was scared and embarrassed, as any eleven year old would be.

Turns out my mom (I'm not proud of this, but a valuable lesson was learned) “lifted” a few items from the store, while I was looking at other things in the cases. Image how surprised a child is to find out your mother would do such a thing, after all her posturing about lying and stealing. After that, I found it very hard to trust or respect her. I did receive an apology many, many years later, but the impact and lessons where already burned into my memory. People make mistakes; this was a big one and our relationship was dramatically affected because of it. I have always believed that our relationship would of fared far better if she would have been honest with me and admitted she made a mistake, but instead she buried it and told me to keep it quiet “or else.” (the “or else” terrified me, mom was a big woman to an eleven year old). It's been over thirty years and this is only the second time I have told this story. The first time was to my husband.

The trust was lost and the respect along with it. How can we expect our children to be persons we are proud of, if we do not lead by example and show them how to be that person? Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. I know that's an old saying, but it is a true one. 

A more recent story: We raised our children to have integrity by being truthful and honest and we openly discuss difficult decisions with them, so they gain context and see how decisions are made and how they effect everyone involved. My husband had an interview that went well. They wanted him to do a “test” project that they would pay for. This test work was a part of the interview process to see if he could do all he, his resume and his portfolio said he could do. It wasn't much, but any “extra” comes in pretty handy right now (I suspect we're not alone in that context). The project came in on Thursday and the deadline was Monday. We discussed this at the dinner table Friday night, because the job would require moving (again), and the general consensus was “We're not moving.” So, our daughter asked the question, “Since moving is out of the question, then why do the test work?” The answer, “It's fairly easy money and we could really use the extra.” Our daughter, remembering everything we ever taught her, put us in our place and called us out by saying, “But, if you know your not going to take the job, and your not going to move, why take the money? Isn't it like guilt money, or something?” Wow, that stopped us dead in our tracks. She was right and we told her she was right. For that brief moment in time, our child was wiser than we were. (I can't tell you how proud we are of her, though we did tell her... just beaming!). Needless to say, my husband turned down the test work first thing Monday and declined further interviews for the position. The company also agreed. According to them, my husband was overqualified, over educated and more “talent” than they were looking for. That's okay, because we left the table with our integrity intact and we now have the knowledge, that our children listened while growing up. That's a comforting feeling.

In the movie Family Man, Arnie (played by Jeremy Piven) said to Jack (Nicolas Cage), “A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account – FOREVER.” When you “flirt” with the concept of letting your integrity slide, even for “good” reasons, you really flirt with disaster. There is another phase, “which is the lesser of two evils” in this case, neither is the lesser of the two evils, because you have to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and ask yourself the question, do you like what you see? My husband is glad he turned down the work, because it would have been money earned based on an avoided inconvenient truth (a blog for another day). Not worth it. Not worth losing all we have built in relationships and family trust.

How will you face the challenge to your integrity today?

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Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quotes - August 29, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 118 – August 29, 2011

People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.

~Vince Lombardi

I love American football, the NFL, in my opinion it is one of the greatest team sports, because it requires every one on the team to work together to achieve an end goal, hopefully a win. I watched my favorite team play a game yesterday (preseason) and was pleasantly surprised at how well they worked together, like a well oiled machine. It was something that seemed to be missing in the first two preseason games. Maybe this year, maybe this year...another Super Bowl run...we'll see.

Much like football, life requires people to work together, Vince Lombardi also said, “Football is like life it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” I wish I could say I have seen a lot of that. Even in work place teams, I have found difficulties between co-workers because of differing opinions, agenda, self-interests, beliefs and backgrounds. Often the project suffers because of the inability to put differences aside and work together to achieve a common end goal. Maybe this is why I enjoy football so much. It doesn't matter where you came from, how tall or short you are, color of your skin, or your family history; if you can run (fast), throw, catch, kick, and understand teamwork, you will have game time. Everyone on a team has different skills, those skills make-up the team. It takes variety and diversity to be successful, so to in life endeavors. One person can't win the game all by themselves, even though many may try.

I said it before and I'll say it again, “Life is a team sport,” people around you count. So surround yourself with quality people. Quality meaning, people you can trust, you can depend on, who can depend on you (it is a two way street). Much like a quarterback and a receiver, when you work together and apply your skills, success is inevitable, or in the case of football, plus six on the board. Yeah Team.

In the movie The Blind Side, a story about the life of Michael Oher, an outside tackle for the Baltimore Ravens, Leigh Anne Touhy (played by Sandra Bullock) said, “Now, y'all would guess that more often than not, the highest paid player on an NFL team is the quarterback. And you'd be right. But what you probably don't know is that more often than not, the second highest paid player is, thanks to Lawrence Taylor, a left tackle. Because, as every housewife knows, the first check you write is for the mortgage, but the second is for the insurance. The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side.” Teamwork, plain and simple, or you get crushed. The world is full of “LT's” with one thing on their mind...get the ball from you... and without teamwork, well your pretty much “duck-soup” as they say. The point is, “life is a team sport” and we all are the quarterbacks, the receivers, the tackles and occasionally the punters. Its up to us to play our positions in the spirit of cooperation: “win-win” beats “win” by 100%.

How will you apply teamwork principles today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 28, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 117 – August 28, 2011

“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.”

~Malcolm X

Being an outsider is the price that is paid for standing for something. In my lifetime, I have always spoke up against injustice, for the underdog, and taken the road less traveled. It hasn't been easy and it has cost me some friends, a job or two and occasionally some money. But one thing it hasn't cost me, is my integrity, my self-respect and my dignity.

Over the past several years, I have watched and wondered how many can live with the lies they tell, the injustices they create and the people they hurt; all to fulfill selfish needs. Maybe with age comes a little cynicism. Maybe, I've just grown weary of the lies people tell, or maybe it's just people's false claims of friendship and support. Who knows? Either way, I'm at a point where it's just easier to be the outsider. In my case, being the outsider has been the story of my life. A very good friend of mine, with whom I served in the military, once dedicated a song to me at a club we frequented when I younger (before a husband and kids). The song was by Adam Ant, called Goody Two Shoes and the lines he dedicated to me where, “Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do? Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?” used to make me laugh and make me proud. You see, I don't drink and I don't smoke and even though the vision is pretty rough, I can see things for what they are and people for who they are. I have certainly never been a follower, even in the military, I was often asked by my superiors, “Are you always so challenging?”, “Do you always ask so many questions?” I haven't changed much, just ask my husband. Who patiently looks for the answers if he doesn't know them.

I believe that in order for the world to achieve positive success and/or change for the betterment of all, we must have more leaders and positive role models, not just leaders in power positions, but leaders in everyday, common place, daily living: Moms, Dads, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Neighbors, this list could go on for awhile, I think you get the idea. You see we recently had a hurricane and many will come out and help, that's great. But what happens after the need disappears and the publicity dies down? How many of us remember Tuscaloosa Alabama? And that was only a few months ago. We are great when disasters occur, but what about the everyday stuff? Mowing a elderly person's lawn, taking someone who can't drive grocery shopping, tell the truth for a day, don't spread that rumor you heard, call someone back you promised to call back, wave to a friend, say hi to a neighbor, or help someone in need. (run on sentence is warranted here, I believe). It's the little things that go along way. I've heard often, “someone else will do that,” or “I don't have time,” and (my favorite, not...) “it's not my problem.” There is also that close second, to just simply “ignore.” I wonder how they would feel, if they needed assistance and no one cared and they were ignored. Questions to think about, I think.

It seems the force of the world is trying to make honesty, caring and being authentic in our actions a bad thing, a wrong thing. It doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm not the first to note this contradiction. In the 1978 movie Heaven Can Wait with Warren Beatty, Mr. Jordan (played by James Mason) noted : “The likelihood of one individual being right increases in direct proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to prove him wrong.” And so given that thought; I must be, at least, on the right track. I will continue to strive to be that role model and put doing “what's right” above “whats right just for me”. Do I expect serious resistance and to be treated like an outsider? To borrow a Minnesota colloquialism, “You Bettcha!” But, at the end of the day; when I look into the mirror, I will be shining from the inside; not trying to wipe the grime of selfishness off my face.

What will you "stand for" today?

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Thank you for reading

Daily Mood Quote - August 27, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 116 – August 27, 2011

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.

~Rabindranath Tagore

The Eastern Seaboard is currently undergoing the effects of Hurricane Irene. This too shall pass, and blue skies will return, my husband says, “The sun always shines after a storm,” and this will be no different. It is harsh right now, but it will pass, and the sunset to follow, will come wrapped in the arms of hope and we will begin again.

If you are a person of faith, whatever your beliefs, lets keep all those, who are and will be affected by this storm in our thoughts and prayers as Hurricane Irene hammers the East Coast. Let us hope there is no loss of life, minimal damage and hope is not lost. This is a tough time for many people: Lets hold onto hope for tomorrow and remember the sun will come up and repairs will begin. Our prayers are with all affected by this hurricane.

No movie quote today.

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Daily Mood Quote - August 26, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 115 – August 26, 2011

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

~Winston Churchill

Every choice you make has an end result

~Zig Ziglar

Each of us has power; not necessarily the kind of power the President may have, or the kind of power a weightlifter may display, but power none-the-less. It is our personal power, our daily power, and it comes in the form of attitude and choice. This morning I woke up feeling yucky, sore throat and body aches and I didn't feel much like exercising, so I decided “not today.” Unfortunately, that choice resulted in me getting pretty down on myself, because I was letting one rough "morning start" dictate how I was going to feel for the rest of the day. That's unacceptable. So what, if I feel tired and have some body aches, I'm pushing 50; it happens. I played sports as a child, I once was a runner, I've had children, and an appendectomy. My body has been through a lot, it should ache some. Anyway, I donned my exercise clothes and went for a walk, a 3.3 mile walk and I have to say, it was good and it changed my attitude from sour to pleasant, all because I made the “choice” to exercise.

It's amazing the power we have, we can change anything in our lives just with a choice. Say yes, instead of no, smile instead of frown, be polite instead of grumpy...the choices are endless.

When we make a choice to do something positive for ourselves, or for others, the end result is most often good for all involved. Note; I said positive, not selfish. Selfish usually provides, only a minor “bump” of perceived good, followed by a torrent of not-so-good. If you are selfish toward the world, expect the same in return. Hard lessons, but accurate ones.

In the movie Mr. Destiny, Larry Burrows (played by James Belushi) said, “How can my life change so much just because I hit one stinking baseball?” Mike the Bartender (Michael Caine) replied with, “Well, you see Larry, one's destiny is a very complicated thing. Every incident in a person's life affects everything else that follows it. Instead of missing the baseball, however, you hit it. Then you became a hero, married the prom queen, and so on, and so forth, until you find yourself exactly where you are. So you see, hitting that baseball has spun your life off in an entirely new direction.” Just like my day, I woke up sore and possibly heading for a rough day, until I changed my mind and exercised. Pretty good day so far and I suspect it will get better, because I feel better about things; change the attitude, change the day and possibly the events of your life.

What “choice” will make a big difference for you today?

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Thank you for reading.

Special request: Please keep those, who have made the difficult choice to stay and ride out Hurricane Irene, in your thoughts and prayers. May they be safe and protected.

Daily Mood Quote - August 25, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 114 – August 25, 2011

“And the only thing that matters, Is climbing up that social ladder, Still care about your hair and the car you drive. Doesn't matter if you’re 16 or 35”

~Bowling for Soup,- High School Never Ends

Today I chose a song lyric from High School Never Ends as the quote of the day. Recently, I attended a back to school night at a local high school. Back to school night is a meet and greet between parents and teachers, along with a brief introduction to the administration staff. I was astounded by how many parents took it literally and dropped back into their high school roles. And in some cases acted as juvenile as their kids. I would guess the average age of the parents to be somewhere between late thirties and early forties, with a few stragglers on either side of that age range. The first thing I noticed were short skirts and muscles shirts. Okay I'm guilty of laughing. Maybe, it's me but when you see a woman in her fifties wearing a skirt so short that when she bent over, the world was greeted by both cheeks, “H-E-L-L-O” (thank you Sister Mary Patrick (Kathy Najimy) from Sister Act 2), you've got to wonder what she was thinking. It made me wonder, if I'm aging too fast, or maybe I'm just too conservative, something to think about. Maybe...

What really got to me was the little clique clusters that formed instantaneously, as they stood around and reminisced about their high school days. I heard conversations ranging from where someone got their first kiss (on the second floor, near the woman's bathroom) to where someone lost their innocence...(Eewwwww!, TMI!!!,). I quickly found another place to be. Then their was the high school jocks that stood and stared at their pictures in the trophy case. I kind of felt sorry for those guys because the looks on their faces, where one of disappointment and longing for, “a life unfulfilled” I suppose. Then we had the braggers, those who talked loud enough for everyone to hear about all of their accomplishments and recent vacations, recent purchases and even a recent conquest (since the divorce was final). And there were even the solemn wall flowers winding their way through the halls, literally blending into and sticking as close to the wall as possible, just so nobody noticed. They call that “positive thigmotaxis” I think, at least that's how I remember it from high school biology.

I found myself asking the question, “Where are the grown-ups?” To be fair, there were some and you could tell, there was a big difference between the people who “grew up,” grew up “here” and those who are transplants. The transplants acted and dressed like grown-ups and where completely ignored. The “grown ups” looked as stunned, as I'm certain I did. We even witnessed a hip-check into the hallway wall. Really???

So, “high school never ends”... and I wonder why this behavior is so evident in our culture. Is it because they ascribe deep emotional attachment, or is it that we only remember the good stuff? I think that's a question for a psychiatrist to answer, not me. In the movie The Breakfast Club, Claire Standish (played by Molly Ringwald) said, “Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.” there was a lot of that, even decades after they got the diploma and walked out the door. However, in the movie 17 Again, Mike O'Donnell (played by Zac Efron) said, “I had the craziest dream. I was 17. I was back in high school. It was terrible. Mmmm. Scar.” That quote feels a little more on target. Marcus Aurelius said “Our life is what our thoughts make of it.” Apparently. there are many here who think the past is better that the present. It seems as if they are stuck there. Memories are one of the greatest gifts we have, we remember them, we share them with great fondness, however we cannot and should not expect to “relive” them. Choose to look forward not back.

How will you look forward today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 24, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 113 – August 24, 2011

“Throw back the shoulders, let the heart sing, let the eyes flash, let the mind be lifted up, look upward and say to yourself...Nothing is impossible!”

~Norman Vincent Peale

Everyday is a new opportunity to make the impossible possible, to make a dream come true, to be a part of something you only ever dreamed about. Take a chance, soar, believe you can and achieve the impossible.

Norman Vincent Peale also said, “Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities – always see them, for they're always there.” All we need to do is look. I have been writing ever since I was a little girl. I kept a diary and my first journal entry was around the age of nine and it was about my mom and how I wished she could love me. She had her problems and apparently I was one of them. But that's all right, because she did manage to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I suppose that's all she was able to do, at least where I was concerned. She never “saw” the possibilities only the problems and realities of “the here and now” and even those in the worst possible light. I'm not sure how or why and perhaps that is best left unexplored. But it did impact the possibilities that we all saw. It's amazing how much impact a parent's mindset has on children and how long that effect can last.

Anyway... those days are past, but some of the echos remain. I love to write, but find myself at a point of ambivalence. I want to write and I love it, but those darned “possibilities” give me pause. I see them but I must admit to being shocked, because I'm just not use to looking for them in daily life. So, when they begin to “bloom” right in front of me, I am caught off guard. Paul Simon sang, “When something goes right, Well its likely to loose me, Its apt to confuse me. Its such an unusual sight.” Its just a matter of how one looks at life and the situation they are in. I wasn't working when I started this blog, but it gave me time to start writing again. I needed to begin to rekindle my life’s ambition. Since then, life has tried to dampen that kindling, but the internal fire is restarted and I wont let it fade out again.

So here's what I have learned about problems, opportunities and possibilities: We all have problems and “possibilities.” Our possibilities depend on how we view things. Even if we have put them on hold, for whatever reason, we have only to begin, in order to rekindle their potential. And, only when we explore and develop those possibilities can we feel our lives well lived. Even if it scares us silly. By action we build confidence, in confidence we form a foundation and on that foundation success is built. At least I hope. Michael Jordan said, “I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, Christopher Gardner (played by Will Smith) said, “You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.” Michael Jordan did, and so did many others. Nothing is impossible!!!

What "possibilities" will you see today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 23, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 112 – August 23, 2011

“How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself. So always think positively.”

~Norman Vincent Peale

Recently I have been struggling with managing my time and like all things in life, it is work in progress. Even at 47, still work in progress. When I was younger (in high school), I couldn't wait to be an adult. At that time, it seemed to me that adults had it all. They could come and go as they please, do what they want, when they wanted. They controlled their own lives, or at least that's the way it appeared to me. Well, I have been an adult for quite some time now and I can tell you without equivocation: grown up life is like being a duck on a pond, usually its “calm and serene on top, but paddling like crazy underneath.” Have you ever noticed how rare it is to have two days exactly the same? Just like the water in the pond, life can get choppy and sloppy. Sometimes, the water can appear placid, but strong currents lie just below. Poor little ducks...big surprise for us grown ups. That doesn't stop the paddling. The choice to sit? That makes you a "sitting duck" for problems, doesn't it? On and on it goes, hoping that the current is with you, or at least your with the current.

Yesterday, I changed the time of the blog believing that would help my schedule work better. Well, I remove one issue and end up with two more...enough said. Sadly to say, this is not going to work. So back to the drawing board beginning with the next blog, August 24, the Daily Mood Quotes blog will be back on the original schedule. Please accept my apology for the change and thank you for continuing to read the Daily Mood Quotes blog.

In the movie 17 Again, Mike O'Donnell (played by Matthew Perry and Zac Efron) believed he had all these problems because he didn't go to college, instead he married his girlfriend, had a baby and believed his life, a life unfulfilled. The janitor (played by Brian Doyle-Murray) approached him while looking at the case that displayed his high school fame and said, “High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the picture of the glory days wondering "What might have been?" Seems to me you guys are living in the past.” Mike replied, “Well, of course I wanna live in the past. It was better there...” Well, I once thought that same thing too, but you know what, it wasn't better, it was only easier. Our problems were viewed through a lens of inexperience and perhaps a bit less responsibility. I didn’t know that some problems don't have answers and some problems grow like weeds until you dig in and get to the root. There is a popular adage in business circles that “problems are opportunities.” "What a crock!!!!" (thank you Tom Selleck from 3 Men and a Baby). Sayings like this are why I'm no fan of pop psychology, as they cause untrained, or overly suggestible people (I'll dance around a few choice words here) to create unnecessary problems; so they can get to some, as yet unfathomed opportunity. That's backwards thinking to be certain. Well, to that phrase I respectfully submit: No not quite, they are problems. They can however yield opportunity, when approached with the right frame of mind. So, I juggle the schedule and start anew, wiser for the experience (hopefully), and the blog will get back on track. Thank you for all your input!

How will you view problems today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 22, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 111 – August 22, 2011

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

~Alan Watts

Change is inevitable and when you are a student, parent, spouse and entrepreneur change is a must. I have to move the daily mood quotes blog posting, to later in the evening. It will still be my daily mood, that doesn't change and the format will continue to be the same. The only thing that will change is the time it is posted. Instead of by 7 a.m. PST, it will be by 7 p.m. PST. There will still be quotes, movie quotes and stories. The reason for the change is schedule. I simply cannot be in two places at one time. But that's a subject for another blog and another day.

Today, I want to talk about how we handle change, or not. Me, change means, first an anxiety attack, because it's not my nature to plunge right in. Simple and safe, that's me. I make lists, with a little flexibility built in, but “big sweeping change” always includes the initial anxiety attack followed quickly by mild panic and then a wide range of emotions. It's not that I fear change, I'm just not a big fan of it, I accept that “change happens.” It is the nature of all things.

In the movie Freaky Friday, Anna (played by Lindsay Lohan) and Tess (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) said simultaneously, “A journey soon begins...” my life's journey is constant change and as Gail Sheehy said, “If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow. We aren't really living.” And so, life is change. No surprise there, just like gravity, change is unavoidable and constantly pulling on you. Usually, its a gentle tug that helps us move from day-to-day and keeps pace with the cycles and the ups and downs of life. Bruce Barton said, “Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.” I'm not sure that fear comes from overconfidence, I think fear may be more rooted in self-doubt. But change does bring with it hope (notice a call back to last week's theme here?). Its kind of a package deal. Lets face it, if everything always remained the same; then we would be stuck with the less than happy parts of our lives. So, in comes change and with it the opportunity to make our life better and more rewarding. Change may scare us at first, (humans are generally creatures of habit - except for the intrepid few), but it also can be our liberator from the issues and problems that hold us back, stop our progress and pi%& us off. Okay change, lets see what you've got: I'm ready...I think, maybe.....Angst, angst, angst....

Will you join the dance of “change” today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 21, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 110 – August 21, 2011

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act and life's worthwhile.

~Author Unknown

When it was confirmed that I was old enough to be going through “the change” (a.k.a., menopause), it took sometime to believe; but when the hot flashes hit, I learned to accept the process pretty quick. So, I began to change the things in my diet and added some other exercises; that lay claim to helping women who are going through the change. The only thing about this is the cure is incomplete. All the proper diet and exercise in the world doesn't stop, or control the feelings of sadness, lack of motivation, or even the fatigue. I really hate the fatigue part. It may reduce the symptoms, but it doesn't go away, ever. One of the things that I am learning to do everyday is to laugh and smile when I can. Truthfully, it can be the hardest thing I do in a day, because sometimes the feeling of sadness that accompany menopause can be overwhelming. It's amazing how much a few milligrams of chemicals, that my own body makes, can have such a profound effect on my emotions. Especially, when you couple that will difficulty concentrating, sometimes just getting through the day can be a sideshow in itself.

As stated before, in the movie How to lose a guy in 10 days, Ben (played by Matthew McConaughey) said to Andie (Kate Hudson), “You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a frickin' one woman circus!!!!!!” I wonder if this is truly how woman in menopause appear to the world? Or, if this is just one's point of view? Either way, it feels like a “frickin' one woman circus” sometimes.

Today is a sad day for me. I have no real reason to be sad, I just feel sad. Things I know I will do today to combat that emotion are; stay away from the television (anything will make me cry), I'll read an educational book today, a really dry one to keep the emotions in check. I will also exercise (I might have to force myself to do this) because as in the movie Legally Blonde, Elle (played by Reese Witherspoon) said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy!” Let's hope so. I am choosing to be happy. Whether I get there today or not remains to be seem, but I believe this is a great way to deal with the change that is occurring. One thing to remember is, menopause doesn’t last forever, this too shall pass, maybe “like a kidney stone”, but it will pass. Many before me have gotten through this and many after me will get through it as well.

So, if I have one thing to offer for the day it is: No matter where or who you are, emotions can and do play a big part in our life. We need to acknowledge them, (that's a healthy thing), but we are responsible to try and get a grip of them and at least regulate their effects. If we let them take control, we have only ourselves to hold to account. We are the ring leaders of our own emotional circus. Once we know the “why”, its up to us to take steps for a better "how."

How will you deal with your personal “cirque, de l'émotion” (hope I got the French, “circus of emotion” right) today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 20, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 109 – August 20, 2011

One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Every once in a while I run into a situation (Note: “a” situation not “The Situation”.... my thoughts on that particular program are not positive at all), or an idea that is new to me. Usually, I do the standard scan, discard, select, move on, for new information, because there is just so much to filter through during the day. I suppose I'm like everyone else in that respect. But every once in while a comment or an idea snags in the fabric of my mind and begins to take root. Sometimes, they lie quietly dormant, like little seeds in the folds of the subconscious, until by fate they are given the opportunity to spring up and get some new attention. Last night one of those little seeds finally grew into my consciousness and got my attention. A long time ago, I took a communications class and one of the books I had to read was Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, a Roman Emperor and philosopher of sorts. He wrote: “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it”. Even if you disagree with his other meditations, this one is painfully true. So the big question is; who guides those “thoughts” that make our life? In our modern world we are so constantly bombarded on line, on the air and by the pressures of our community to sculpt our thoughts to match somebody else's agenda, that we can barely hear ourselves think. No wonder people get confused and sometimes resentful. We can get so caught up in what we don't have and what others expect, that we simply don't ask ourselves: What's really important to me and who exactly do I want to be? Maybe, we all need scheduled time outs?

Yesterday, I mentioned a sign that I saw in a local school and it's profound impact on me. Well another thing caught my eye, but I didn't process it until very late last night. It started out “100 years from now it wont' matter what car you drive....” I'm sure you all have seen this quote at least once, or twice, but I'll look for it later and attach a link. The thing is it's true; our thoughts make our life, and what we pass along in the form of thoughts makes our legacy. Stuff can come and go and it will all eventually pass, but how we live and what thoughts we “pass” to others, either purposefully or by accident, are the tale of our time here. They are the real substance of our life. I must confess lately given our tough circumstance, not all my thoughts have been something I would be proud of 100 years from now, so its time to make a few adjustments.

In the movie Mr. Holland's Opus the Governor, Gertrude Lang (Joanna Gleason), a former student of Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss) relays this concept so very eloquently, that it bears repeating; “Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a great part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him famous, rich, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich and he isn't famous, at least not outside of our little town. So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think that he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life.” 

I guess what I'm saying is, we all have that same opportunity everyday in our lives, to affect the lives of those we contact each day. All our lives are colored by “thoughts” we let in and “thoughts” we give out. That is the true legacy and treasure of our lives.

What “thoughts” will you be proud to have remembered 100 years from now?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 19, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 108 – August 19, 2011

Your attitude can make a world of difference.

~Unknown Author

In the movie Forrest Gump, Forrest (played by Tom Hanks) said, “Mama (played by Sally Fields) says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere.” and in the movie, those shoes did take Forest everywhere, school, college, the Army, a table tennis champion, a shrimp boat captain and a dad. All because he believed what his mother told him. “Attitude: what you believe.” I believe attitude is the difference between a good day and a bad day. From relationships to raising children, attitude can guide your destiny. It is the vehicle that takes you where your going. And, like any vehicle, it requires maintenance, fuel and reasonable care. There will be days when your attitude will "run-like-a-top" and you will be achieving, moving and doing at the top of your game. Then, there will be days, where your attitude breaks down and requires repair, refueling and even a day of rest (reasonable care). When we ignore it, the breakdown can be far reaching and even more destructive than a purposefully bad attitude. A broken down attitude usually gives rise to feelings of failure, ineptitude and hopelessness. Hope is the very cornerstone of a healthy attitude. We talked about that in an earlier blog.

Yesterday, during a visit to a nearby school, I noticed the sign from which today's quote is taken. I wondered if the kids who walk through the school everyday notice the sign, or know what it means? I have heard from students that they don't read the signs on the wall, but I'll bet those signs just being there everyday with a positive message helps. I guess to the student body, it's just nice wallpaper. But environment does count and every little reminder conscious, or subconscious can act like attitude maintenance. That said, I also think that while in that “environment,” the school staff needs to restate and reinforce that positive attitude message, at every reasonable opportunity (this goes for parents too). But, temper it with a bit of common sense. If “Little Johnny” blows a test, let him know that grade counts and "that's that;" but there is always the next test to do better. I think these positive affirmation signs are awesome, but, we must also teach and display them in our behavior, for the positive affirmations to have any meaning. In our own lives that same position holds true. A person can surround themselves with positive reinforcement signs, comfort food and friends that offer solace; but in the end, its the doing of the "positive" that creates and maintains a positive attitude. Waiting for someone to give it to you, like walking by the signs on the wall, can only do so much. Don't get me wrong, attitudes are not “steady state” items. They bend and flow like the other rhythms of our life, but with a little effort, (maintenance) we can take those rhythms to a higher register and then even our bad attitude days will be better than most. “That's all I have to say about that.” (Thanks Forrest).

How will you maintain your attitude today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 18, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 107 – August 18, 2011

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.

~Audrey Hepburn

They say, “laughter is the best medicine” and I agree with this because when you are laughing it is hard to be angry. Wayne Dyer said, “It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” It was June of 1981, when I met my husband, he was a young, handsome 22 year old, who said to me, “stach your wep” as I crossed the gangway to the deck and begin my first day of work on a dinner/dance boat as a greeter and a bus kid. My first impression of him was, he's funny and hmmm....he's cute.What made me take notice was he made me laugh, that was 30 years ago. He stills makes me laugh today and I suspect he will continue to make me laugh. Our agreement was "sixty years of marriage and then all bets are off." He said this right in front of the Pastor who married us. I thought it was funny, however, the Pastor wasn't laughing and didn't think it funny. Oh well! Sometimes I wonder when I look at my husband, if he will be funny or just funny looking when he's in his 70's. I guess we'll see.

One thing I can say here; recently we have been dealing with some serious issues in life and in the blog and it has been the little moments of laughter and one significant perspective change that has buoyed the spirit. Wayne Dyer was right, no matter how hard you try you can not be angry and laugh at the same time. Because once you find something genuinely funny, it simply dominates your consciousness for a short period of time. Sometimes that short period is all you need to change you perspective and get a grip. I guess its why they make so many movie comedies and comedians like Jeff Dunham (www.jeffdunham.com) can get $50 plus per ticket and fill the house...in the middle of a recession! We all need the change of perspective and funny ranges from the goofy one-offs of life like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura Pet Detective when he and Lois (Sean Young) have a little “conversation:

Lois: “How would you like me to make your life a living hell?

Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.”

to the more snarky and subtle quips of Bruce Willis in Die Hard (Pick one: original or sequel). One I especially like is in Live Free or Die Hard when Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) is barreling through a Washington D.C. tunnel (not sure which one) and the car begins to burn; He calmly says, “Car's on fire, that can't be good” in the middle of an extremely tense scene. I just about fell out of my chair and by the time I refocused on the movie, his car was flying through the air. The point is, funny is out there, you just need to look for it. It can separate you from your problems just long enough to breath and give you a chance to refocus on your day, in a better frame of mind.

Where will you find “funny” today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 17, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 106 – August 17, 2011

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.

~Allen Klein

Last evening, I was told a story that changed my perspective on things. I have been so worried about petty things that are a part of every day living: Dryer breaks down, school lunch money, a checkbook error, you know all those little things that are a pain in the butt, but can “seem” to overwhelm you. Then I was told a story about a teenager, who found out she had cancer. Being brave about the treatment, she continued to live her life by going to school and participating in activities; despite the fact that many were making fun of her, because she was bald (lost her hair due to chemo). As a joke, these kids called a reporter to interview her about what she was going through. In what universe is that behavior funny? Anyway, the reporter did the story and the young lady got the last laugh. The reporter asked her, “What are you learning about what you are going through? The young lady shared with the reporter the benefits of going through something so difficult. She learned much about herself and much about people around her; the good and the bad, that she believed she may have never learned, if she didn't get sick. Some of life's greatest benefits come from suffering...not that I advocate that in any way, shape or form. But, I guess the old adage is true, “every dark cloud has a silver lining.”

How powerful to have someone so young be so wise. The young lady did finally beat her cancer. If someone so young can handle a real problem such as life and death with such grace and dignity, I am embarrassed to admit I have been sulking over pitiful, inconvenient, transient problems. “Boy, I feel sheeeeeepish” (thank you Robin Williams in the movie Aladdin).

It's amazing how a little perspective can make a difference in a day. In the movie Ratatouille, Brad Garrett (Gusteau) said, “You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true - anyone can cook... but only the fearless can be great. “ Well, this perspective isn't about cooking, but the words apply. Imaginative, Strong-hearted, define your own limits, everyone's greatness is in their own hands. Whether you are fighting cancer, or fighting everyday issues (unemployment, financial difficulties, or others), we are the ones who make it work, make the difference or make the change. I am thankful for the story I heard yesterday.

What will your “perspective” be today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 16, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 105 – August 16, 2011

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.”

~Les Brown

We're only human and yesterday was a very bad day. People judged us and took what little money we had left. That's okay, we'll make more. We're skilled, talented and educated and the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself (Thanks FDR). So, we find ourselves in a situation that would normally make most people quit, hang their heads and walk away, or whatever crushed people do. That solves nothing and quite honestly, we are made a sterner stuff. We will pick ourselves up and make good decisions, based on our new knowledge and begin again. And, to those who were yesterday, judging and laughing and think themselves better, because they have not ever experienced events beyond their control, I say to you, good luck!! I know fate is coming in your direction like a freight train and she is one wicked and unforgiving bit%^. Remember, “what goes around comes around.”

That said, I find myself needing to take my own advice today. So to begin with, I will take the advice Corrie Ten Boom once said, “ Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” Meaning, it isn't going to help to worry about what you cannot change. The fact is, worry is a miserable, bastard child of fear, it has no good use. It gets in the way of reason and stops us in our tracks. It is an artifact of humanity's early struggles in the wilderness. Why did we build fires? Because we worried about “ghosts in the darkness” and of course the odd predator looking for dinner. It seems today's predators come with two legs, not four. The best cure for worry is a clear thought, a smart plan and positive forward movement. When you are bogged down by worry in your mind, you can do nothing. Franklin D. Roosevelt said:“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.” If there was ever a guy who had stuff to worry about, it was him. He was crippled by partial paralysis, in a wheelchair and the fate of the world rested in his hands. Our current challenges are nothing by comparison.

What we have to do, is forgive ourselves for trusting the wrong people, this will be the last time. Plan a clear course of decisive positive action and commit ourselves to carry it out with determination and diligence. This also includes no longer listening to those who make their living by instilling fear in others. Shame on you!!!

Yesterday, I asked the question to the universe, “Why me?” Today, I know that since I am strong enough; “If not me, then who?” What do I mean by this, it's simple. We are not alone in facing difficult financial, or sociological situations; it's happening all over the world. I will document our evolving economic and self-worth re-genesis as we go, for your (the readers) benefit. Perhaps the solutions we find (my husband and I) will help someone in a similar situation. Everyone deserves a second chance. A Japanese Proverb states, “fall down seven times, get up eight”....or nine, ten, or whatever it takes. Crystal Hunt said, “Never regret anything you have been through, because only with those trials, will you become a better person the next day.”

In the movie The Verdict, Frank Galvin (played by Paul Newman) said, “You know, so much of the time we're just lost. We say, "Please, God, tell us what is right; tell us what is true." And there is no justice: the rich win, the poor are powerless. We become tired of hearing people lie. And after a time, we become dead... a little dead. We think of ourselves as victims... and we become victims. We become... we become weak. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our beliefs. We doubt our institutions. And we doubt the law. But today you are the law. You ARE the law. Not some book... not the lawyers... not the, a marble statue... or the trappings of the court. See those are just symbols of our desire to be just. They are... they are, in fact, a prayer: a fervent and a frightened prayer. In my religion, they say, "Act as if ye had faith... and faith will be given to you." IF... if we are to have faith in justice, we need only to believe in ourselves. And ACT with justice. See, I believe there is justice in our hearts.” I think that pretty much sums it up. We will act justly by pulling ourselves up once again and let the “universe” deal out its own justice to those who have acted so poorly toward us.

Will you put worry aside and move forward today?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 15, 2011

Daily Mood Quotes
Day 104 - August 15, 2011

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

There is no blog today. Our family has received  some bad news and it is very hard to write, or to be positive today.

It is hard to find the sunshine, when everyone is spewing fire at you. Will let you know how it all works out.

Find the sunshine in your day.

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Daily MOod Quote - August 14, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quote

Day 103 – August 14, 2011

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yesterday, I was in a bit of a sour mood. I had reached my limit of disappointments with people and rejections on the job search for the week, so, it came out in my words. I was always told; let it out, get mad, voice your disappointment; because holding it in only creates bigger problems. Sometimes it even spawns health problems. Well, I don't need those kinds of problems, so I got mad and used my words to express my frustration in the disappointments and rejections of the week. I got it out and I feel better now. Thank you.

It rained last night and after the sour day yesterday, I took the rain as a sign of washing away all the old and bringing in all the new chances and opportunities that this week will offer. Sounds a little like “pie in the sky” but without a little “pie in the sky” thinking, where would hope come from? You need hope; especially after a grumpy, sour day. When rain follows...don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Take it for what it is, renewed hope, renewed opportunity for growth and a chance for your dreams to come true.

In the movie A Cinderella Story, Hillary Duff (Sam) is told by her father (Whip Hubley), “Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.” All right, this statement is about fear. But, isn't it fear that gets in the way of hope, or at least stops us from hoping? Just a thought.

Winston Churchill, a great dispeller of fear, once said: “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope”. I believe he deliberately placed hope in the final and most memorable position, because hope is the mechanism that makes all the other great things possible. It provides the chance for freedom; for without hope we are all enslaved, even within ourselves. Hope is the core of justice, because it lives in the aspiration of fairness and truth winning out. Hope lies deep within honor and duty, in that what you are doing has a worthwhile and noble goal. And hope is at the heart of mercy. That from the wellspring of human kindness and mercy, a better world for all will grow. So hope, in all its shades, forms and descriptions, is the foundation of all that is good and right with humanity and without it; then fear and despair win and we are truly lost. In that light, I wish us all hope first, then all good to follow. With this week we begin anew; hope in heart and a new day to start again.

Where will you find hope this week?

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Daily Mood Quote - August 13, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 102 – August 13, 2011

It's not what you know, but who you know that makes the difference

~Anonymous

A quote I believe may have some validity. I have a college education, I'm a veteran, I have a good work history and I have a solid foundation of morals and values. Unfortunately, that's not what is considered when looking for a job today. As stated in previous blogs, I didn't grow up here, didn't go to a local high school and I am not related to anyone here and that is a priority and a criteria in the hiring process. In my opinion, that is sad and destructive business practices. If you only hire those you know, then you are missing out on those who know.

It isn't just what you know, and it isn't just who you know. It's actually who you know, who knows you, and what you do for a living.

~Bob Burg

You can make horseshoes all you want, it doesn't mean you can have a successful career at it. Unfortunately, we have an entire generation of people over forty, who have been caught mid-career in the digital transformation of the world. Their skills sets, though completely valid, no longer apply and consequently they are the ones who are having the greatest difficulty finding and holding onto work in this economy. Those who are fortunate enough to have jobs in this age bracket, are holding on to them for dear life, movement has all but ceased. It gives new meaning to butt kissing and social networking. Part of the networking game that is played today is “Get something on someone” that helps you keep your job. That may have always been the case, but now it works at a whole new level and far beyond what we have ever seen before. I believe it will only get worse before it gets better. Don't believe me? Ask those over forty who are unemployed. And humble, dedicated, honest service?...it doesn't stand a chance. Its the fastest way to get shoved to the bottom of the list.

The successful networkers I know, the ones receiving tons of referrals and feeling truly happy about themselves, continually put the other person's needs ahead of their own.

~Bob Burg

Where are these people? In my experience in corporate America, this is simply not true. It has been my experience that networking only works when people think they can get something from you. When I was working, I had a lot of friends, coworkers that called themselves my friend, neighbors who were friends and people I socialized with, who called themselves my friends. Now, I'm unemployed (and am not in a position to facilitate their goals). So, were are my friends? They have scattered like ragweed pollen in the wind. Unseen, unheard, yet creating misery as they go. I understand that around here, that's not uncommon. It's as if “you” have the contagious disease. In reality it's the infection of self-centered thinking that causes the suffering. When my husband and I go to places we use to go, where our “friends frequent,” backs are turned and exits made. We haven't changed, just our ability to “do something for them” via our jobs. That's a sad...but completely true assessment of the human condition. You can't network with people who don't want you around...unless they can gain something from it.

Tess McGill (played by Melanie Griffith) said it best in the movie Working Girl, when talking to Philip Bosco (Oren Trask) “You can bend the rules plenty once you get to the top, but not while you're trying to get there. And if you're someone like me, you can't get there without bending the rules.” Talk about a double edge sword.

Networking is another euphemistic phase for working the system and taking advantage of others. But its the way things are done. Sorry, no positive spin today, just my somewhat sour mood this morning. I hope it changes. There is always hope.

How will you view others today?

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Daily Mood Quotes - August 12, 2011

 

Daily Mood Quotes

Day 101 – August 12, 2011

“Trust is like a vase..once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.”

~Unknown Author

A recent event caused me to pause and wonder, do people know the damage they create when they choose to lie to someone? Several weeks ago, I saw a brief snip-it on television about lying, it was a topic on The Early Show and the point being made was (I'm paraphrasing here) “everybody lies, it has become the norm in business, in relationships and in day-to-day living.” Really? That's the norm?

In 1992, there was a movie Straight Talk with Dolly Parton who played Shirlee Kenyon, a talk radio show host, who gave life advice to callers. It's been a long time since I've seen this movie, but there is one phrase I do remember; she said to a caller, “sounds like your living your life so crooked, you have to screw your socks on.” I guess what I'm saying here is, if you tell one lie, usually you have to tell another to cover up the original lie and so on and so on... Where do the lies stop? My mother had a very strict policy about lying (at least lying to her). It was simple, “Never lie or I'll beat the crap out of you.” Well, being the strong willed child I was, it was a theory I tested and let's just say, theory verified. Now, I understand there are the fabricated stories about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and they have their time and place. Those tall tales are generally meant to provide a vehicle for a larger moral. But, when an adult chooses deliberately to deceive another, that is a “whole 'nuther kettle o' corn” as they say around here.

Here's what happened: During a conversation with a friend we've known for nine years; a question was asked and the truth was deliberately omitted, (same thing as a lie) passing the buck to the next guy. It was deliberately omitted to avoid an uncomfortable and Inconvenient Truth. A week later, the truth came out (it always does) and I was heartbroken. It wasn't because our friend lied, but because we had respected and trusted him. We had known him for nine years...who does that? As Friedrich Neitzsche said, “I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

Lying is like acid, It slowly corrodes the spirit of the liars and those being lied too. Even a little white lie can begin to pit the surface of any relationship. Perhaps in time with wear and enough polish it can be made to look new again, but it takes so much more effort than just telling the truth up front. Big lies (like the one we encountered from our friend) are a much stronger acid, they not only burn through the surface of the relationship, leaving a blemish that can never be removed; they often cut deeply into the core and create irreparable damage. Even if it was meant to avoid confrontation, the damage is still done. Trust is never regained.

In the movie Liar Liar, Fletcher's (played by Jim Carrey) son Max (Justin Cooper) made a birthday wish, “ I wish, for just one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.” Here's my wish, “I wish for one day, people would think before they choose to lie.” Make no mistake lying is a choice and there is no getting around that “truth”. I will eventually forgive my friend for lying to my husband and I, but the friendship is now permanently damaged and trust is forever lost. What a high price to pay.

Will you think before you speak or avoid the truth today?

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