Daily Mood Quote
Day 137 – September 17, 2011
Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.
~Wayne Dyer
Last night, I was watching the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley. I know, I watch this a lot but personally I feel staying aware on current events and affairs is important. Anyway, it makes for great family dinner conversation. One of the stories was about bullying. It is considered a national epidemic. One in four children are being bullied and nationally 160,000 a day are scared to go to school, or miss school all together due to bullying.
CBS aired a program last evening called “Words can kill” and many of the things the kids said about how they felt about being bullied I understood. You see I was bullied in elementary school. I went to a parochial school that carried kindergarten through eighth grade and in the sixth, seventh and eighth grade, I can't remember a single thing that was enjoyable about those years. I hated school, I hated the kids, but more importantly I hated myself because I began to believe all the things the kids were saying about me. In the sixth grade a horrible thing happened to me that changed the course of my life and relationships that still has a very small impact on me today. Time heals all wounds, but some wounds take a long time to heal. Anyway after this horrible thing happened, I considered suicide myself. Imagine an eleven year old thinking about taking their own life, because they believe that's the best way to handle problems. You see school bullying wasn't the only thing I was dealing with, my home life was pretty tumultuous as well. I had no escape, no safe haven, I believed (mind of an eleven year old), things would be better if I were gone. No one knew how tortured I was, because I couldn't tell anyone, not even my parents. I genuinely believed no one cared. I was alone, like many other bullied kids probably felt and possibly feel today.
The turning point in my life was a teacher, (so often this is the case) my six grade science teacher. I missed the extra credit question (I'll never forget this), “Which comes first thunder or lightening?” I put thunder, I was wrong and became very upset with myself and when we were released for lunch, my teacher asked me to stay behind. He knew I was upset and wanted to know why. I told him, “Because I got it wrong, I never get anything right. I'm stupid.” He vigorously disagreed with me, he told me, “You tried and trying is the key, no one else even tried the question. You took a chance, that's how you grow, you learn. You can survive anything if you believe you can, you just can't stop trying. Believe in yourself.” As I look back on that now, I realize he may have known I was being bullied and that my home life was not very supportive. He moved the course of my life into a different direction and I never considered being “gone” again. I realized that what those kids did to me wasn't any worse than what I was receiving at home, and what I was receiving at home wasn't any worse than what I was receiving at school. I had survived so far; so I can survive this, I will survive this, and I did. I left home at eighteen.
Dave Pelzer said, “when you please others in hope of being accepted you lose your self-worth in the process.” Last night's program, “Words can Kill” I saw a lot of kids wanting to be accepted; but instead the harder they tired, the more they were rejected. One young boy inferred that if your not an athlete, then your weird. Not really a good reason to be bullied. Everybody has different gifts, some play in band, some do drama, some write, some sing, everybody is different. It's those differences that make up the tapestry of our world. We all know my favorite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” When children give that kind of “power” to their peers, they are taking an awful risk. Let's not kid ourselves, there is a natural tendency to try and assert dominance and get to the “head of the pack”, or be a pack member in adolescent behavior. If your out, well then your out. It's built into the DNA and this tendency will only decrease as civilization, parenting skills and growth move forward in time (Unfortunately, sooooo many of us never get past that adolescent mindset). “High school never ends” (thank you Bowling for Soup). Its how young people perceive that “outness” that makes all the difference. As parents we need to teach them to first never let others have that “power” over their decisions. If they do momentarily surrender it, then they must take back the power and take back their lives. Parents also need to teach children that the “different” gifts are important, not only for them, but also for the world in which we live. Middle school and high school last only a short while and if you can survive that... the world opens up. Because, those gifts are what drives innovation, exploration, and creativity. The world need those things more than ever.
We've lost too many young kids to bullying, time for a change. Let's “step-up and step-in” and be proactive instead of reactive. Parents, Teachers, School Districts, Siblings, and Bystanders...
How will you demonstrate “self-worth”today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
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