Daily Mood Quotes
Day 147 – September 27, 2011
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
~Author Unknown
A few weeks ago, I posted a comment on Facebook to my nephew about avoiding the negative stereotypes of being a parent. People had made mention “that his life was now over” because he was preparing to become a parent. They are expecting their first. I was excited for them. Unfortunately, my niece (my nephew's sister) became enraged by my positive and well meant input. She made some very mean and nasty comments against me on Facebook, a public forum format. Completely uncalled for, it really showed me a side of her that was quite surprising, disappointing and even a bit disturbing. It reminded me an awful lot of my mother, when she was on her rants. She obviously has an ax to grind and maybe some anger issues to deal with. I not really sure. To be fair and honest with you (thank you Clint Eastwood from In the Line of Fire), I don't really know my niece, in fact, I don't know many from my family. I was eighteen when I left home and joined the military. I didn't care to have much contact with them. I tried to live in the same town as my family a few times, once I couldn't leave fast enough, twice, couldn't run fast enough and finally, for my mother's funeral, a few days seemed like a lifetime.
Anyway, what my niece did was a form of cyber-bullying and if I would have engaged in her aggressive behavior, things would have spiraled out of control, into a situation that would have been inappropriate and a waste of time. While I know my point of view and a bit about my niece's life, I can't say the same for her. After raising five children; I know that life is only beginning when you have a child. Okay, sometimes being a parent can be frustrating and children can wear you right down to a nubbin (thank you Berenstein Bears), but it can be also the greatest joy a person can know. After all that's why we are here, to continue our species. I have walked those miles, my niece apparently has yet to figure that out. So, as with many people there is no possibility of a peaceful resolution. And that's the real shame of it: folks with intractable positions, no real knowledge and dark attitudes. No one likes or wants to be around an angry person, especially if every statement, comment, or loving and supportive gesture is greeted with a hateful statement, or a verbal argument. My niece is young and hopefully time will mellow her out. I will never know, because I used the “unfriend” button on my Facebook page. Simple enough.
In the movie Meet the Parents, Greg Focker (played by Ben Stiller) said to the Flight Attendant (Kali Rocha), “ If you would take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings...” The point here is that it's oh-so-easy to lose objectivity when dealing with other's opinions and points of view. To often, we project our life's “issues” and unsupported opinions onto others, without first getting to know their side of the story. As a parent; I have found that there is always two sides to any story. Just ask two children standing in a room with a broken lamp. The key is to find the truth somewhere in the middle. Walk the mile, then make your observations. As with a real walk, a little distance usually offers a better perspective. As for me; I'm putting plenty of digital distance between myself and my family. That's just the way it is.
Who's shoes will you “walk in” before commenting today?
Tune in tomorrow to read the daily mood quote
Thank you for reading
No comments:
Post a Comment